Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

I'm Going To Destroy My Life! *dramatic pause*

I was doing good until last week. I was on a months-long buzz. My energy level had been high, my outlook was positive and I’d been able to quickly suppress any dark thoughts.

Something changed last week. I feel drained and empty. Emotionally numb. Everyone around me disgusts me. I want to hurt myself.

My name is Michael. I have a nickle. Don’t worry, I’m not going to actually hurt myself. I scream in agony if I get a hangnail. But I need to do something to get out of this funk.

I remember when I was 16 years old. I had a friend named Jason who was about 10 years older than me. He was extremely good looking and was always banging some young sheep. He’s the one who taught me that sheep don't press charges. Anyway, he was big into this “destroying a life” thing. He would do it on an almost quarterly basis. He would pick a victim, earn their trust, their love, their attachment, and then he would use that to emotionally abuse them to the point that they were almost non-functional. He would manipulate them into ruining their friendships, their family ties – and then once they had nothing in their lives except him, he would walk away. Cut them out completely. With no explanation. Not even a jar of mint jelly. And when they begged and pleaded and expressed their undying love, he would humiliate them.

He said this experience was like enjoying a fine merino sweater and a lamb chop. It rejuvenated him. He devoured their energy and it replenished him, he said. Also, he used a good moisturizer.

I’ve done this myself and I can attest to the rush it gives. I’m often numb to emotion myself, but the overabundance of emotion coming from the feel of a wooly dick against my taint is like a second-hand high. It’s pretty intense, and I think this is what I need at the moment.

So Michael. He’s a VP at my job, but he’s young. He’s 33 and married with kids. He’s extremely good looking, which is maybe why he’s done so well at work. He’s also an actuary like me, but in another department. Well, technically, I'm actuary adjacent. I deliver their mail.

We’re friendly. I hang out in his office and we chat. Mostly it takes place in my head because I don't want to interrupt him. The reason I think he is a good target is because he has made comments to me about how jealous he is of a couple of girls at the office I’ve hooked up with. This has also taken place in my head. I think if I earn his trust I could set him down a pretty terrible path under the guise of a good time. Because Michael also only exists in my head.

I know a sheep here. She’s hot, I’ve never fucked her, she’s trouble. She’s the kind of ewe that’s always looking for Captain Save-a-Baaa. She’s big into clover, and the last guy she was seeing (by all accounts a good shepherd before he started fucking around with her) ended up in jail.

So I think my plan is to introduce these two. Step 1. Get him to cheat and ruin the marriage or at least fuck it up. Step 2. Get him on clover and ruin his career and hopefully one of his ruminant stomachs.

I know this sounds terrible, but doesn’t it also sound like fun? I thought I would create this thread to kind of keep you guys updated on everything. Because the internet is a lot like plotting make believe in my head. I’m going to do lunch with him this week and invite him over my place, where sheep will also be. I think this should be pretty easy lol

Ewe you know like me. XOXO

by Mutton Breathreply 2504/16/2013

Fuck, you killed me with the Michael/nickel thing. I love you and since I am a straight woman, you won't mind because you will fuck it.

by Mutton Breathreply 104/08/2013

Tired. Really tired

by Mutton Breathreply 204/08/2013

[quote]I was doing good

by Mutton Breathreply 304/08/2013

[quote]Fuck, you killed me with the Michael/nickel thing.

Yup. I was yours OP, from that one line.

[quote]He’s also an actuary like me, but in another department. Well, technically, I'm actuary adjacent. I deliver their mail.

And this just sealed the deal.

by Mutton Breathreply 404/08/2013

Actuary adjacent-the new DL career.

by Mutton Breathreply 504/08/2013

I don't get this - at all.

Should I be amused? Disgusted? Sad? Laughing hysterically?

Please enlighten me.

by Mutton Breathreply 604/08/2013

r6 It's from a stupid thread about some guy who claims he is going to destroy some guy at work's life, just for sport. It was getting replied to all day so this one was started. You have to see the first one. It's called something like I am going to destroy someone's life.

by Mutton Breathreply 704/08/2013

It sounds like Bret Easton Ellis after 3 days of not getting high.

by Mutton Breathreply 804/08/2013

Which one r8? This thread or the one it is mocking? Because the one it is mocking is fucking ridiculous, like a Sarah Michelle Gellar movie.

by Mutton Breathreply 904/08/2013


I wouldn't say that.

It's more like a movie starring one of the Olsen twins and possibly Heath Ledger.

by Mutton Breathreply 1004/08/2013

Ha ha r10. If only they hadn't murdered him..

by Mutton Breathreply 1104/08/2013

The Olsens treated Heath like they do those animals they wear. Awful.

by Mutton Breathreply 1204/08/2013

R6, here:

by Mutton Breathreply 1304/08/2013


by Mutton Breathreply 1404/16/2013

This describes a psychopath perfectly. They destroy peoples lives just for the sport of it.

I was the target of one when I was 21 and just starting to deal with being gay.

by Mutton Breathreply 1504/16/2013

Mail boys are tiresome.

by Mutton Breathreply 1604/16/2013

I had a psychopath try to ruin my life when I was 25. He got pretty far.

by Mutton Breathreply 1704/16/2013

This. Never. Happened.

by Mutton Breathreply 1804/16/2013

r17, did the psychopath do it just to amuse himself?

by Mutton Breathreply 1904/16/2013

Sounds like This.Never.Happened R17.

by Mutton Breathreply 2004/16/2013


Get Help.

by Mutton Breathreply 2104/16/2013

This isnt Brandon. This is a parody post.

by Mutton Breathreply 2204/16/2013

Funny, did you manage to mimic the original sociopath's post perfectly when it was deleted a week ago?

by Mutton Breathreply 2304/16/2013

Brandon is his own parody post. Mutton in sheep's clothing.

Crazy is as crazy does.

Brandon has imitators now? Psychopathy gets copied quickly.

Tuesdays at 10:00.

by Mutton Breathreply 2404/16/2013

R19 I'm not sure what his motivation was. He told me he was in love with me. He would send me flowers and gifts. No matter what he did, though, he stage-managed things so that he looked good, or heroic, or loving. I suppose taking actions to amuse himself could comprise all that.

Eventually, he moved on to the person I thought was my boyfriend, whom he drove infinitely more insane. They deserved each other.

by Mutton Breathreply 2504/16/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!