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Homophobia + Family Tragedy On Facebook

My cousin (who lives 1000 miles away and who I haven't seen in at least 15 years) posted a link on Facebook to some nasty article against gay marriage. There was even a part that mentioned Jerry Sandusky, where the author obviously wanted to equate homosexuality with pedophilia.

Here's the thing: my cousin's father committed suicide a few weeks ago, and it was a terrible shock to the whole family. Would it be insensitive of me to post a long, detailed response to her comment - especially when I don't normally post to her Facebook feed - in defense of gay marriage? It's not mean, in fact I think it's reasoned and rational, but it does mention religion and Christianity several times (basically how they should have no say in my rights as a U.S. citizen or as a human being) and my cousin is very religious.

Maybe to some people this seems like a silly question, but I don't want my family to think I'm a total jerk for "harassing" my cousin so soon after her father's shocking death.

by Anonymousreply 3204/07/2013

I would just delete her as a Facebook friend OP. I have a strict no tolerance policy for Christian bigots on Facebook. I've found it to be a good policy.

by Anonymousreply 104/02/2013

She's being a cunt bitch. Call her out on it. Squash bigotry whenever you see it. She has no be a cunt bigot for free card because of a dead husband.

by Anonymousreply 204/02/2013

Just defriend her. It's not like she's in the majority and it doesn't sound like there's a mind to change.

by Anonymousreply 304/02/2013

I agree with R2. Your cousin opened the discussion on a public forum (or semi-public, depending on whom she's sharing her posts) and you should be free to respond.

by Anonymousreply 404/02/2013

Defriend, her father just committed suicide so you will be the one who looks bad if you call her on her shit.

Her opinion doesn't matter.

by Anonymousreply 504/02/2013


by Anonymousreply 604/02/2013

Sad news about your cousin's father's death.

I would suggest to hold off as it will serve no purpose to try to convince her via FB of your position. The fundies got her now. If you have the chance to see her face-to-face: approach the subject. I find that confronting this matter in person when two people are looking at each other brings about a more productive discussion. You may not win her over but at least she sees your position through your eyes and voice. Does that make any sense?

by Anonymousreply 704/02/2013

Defriend her with no comment. Due to the other circumstances, you wouldn' look good if you reply to her hate right now. Keep her out of your life and you'll be happier.

by Anonymousreply 804/02/2013

Agree with r8

by Anonymousreply 904/02/2013

People like that are like rabid dogs. Once you respond to their bottomless pit of self-hatred vented outwards, you will never hear the end of it.

(Not unlike the snippy queens here who constantly attack others' posts._

by Anonymousreply 1004/02/2013

Tell her to kill herself

by Anonymousreply 1104/02/2013

If you post, keep it free of personal references or attacks.

Not for the sake of your bitch cousin, but to avoid any accusations of harassment or insensitivity. You might even want to address the remarks to "Cousin Susie's Facebook Friends", not "Cousin Susie" herself.

by Anonymousreply 1204/02/2013


The more emotional turmoil they are going through the more they hold on to irrationally hateful beliefs. It gives them comfort to accuse all gays of pedophilia. That is not sane. You can't do anything to restore sanity once they have decided that attacking you feels good.

by Anonymousreply 1304/02/2013

I wouldn't even bother if I were you. I doubt you will sway her or her friends, I know you are only friends because you're family. My brother's bitch wife is a big Chick-Fill-A (or whatever) supporter and my sister and I just think she's a dumb bitch and we just do anti-bigot stuff on our own pages, we won't convince SIL and her dumb, soccer mom frau friends.

by Anonymousreply 1404/02/2013

OP what would the point be?

She's obviously hateful and I don't think you'd be proving anything. People like that aren't going to switch to your way of thinking and the friends/family she has that agree with her are still going to agree with her, and subsequently think you're a monster for doing that so soon after her father died. The friends she has who know she's awful... well, they know she's awful.

Just leave it alone. It serves no purpose.

by Anonymousreply 1604/02/2013

You're gay and this cunt has tied to a homophobic link - and a particularly nasty one.

Ignore the people here who said just to delete and keep quiet.

Send a response visible to everyone who received the first one. Say you were surprised at the link being distributed, since it is both offensive and erroneous. Say you have to assume there was some mistake, since this kind of hate speech surely doesn't reflect the real opinions of anyone you know and respect.

Then delete the cunt quietly.

If her father's death were such a sensitive issue she wouldn't be finding the time to rant. Don't let homophobia go, ever.

by Anonymousreply 1704/02/2013

Don't ever let it go

by Anonymousreply 1804/02/2013

OP, maybe her father was a closeted 'mo and she knew it.

by Anonymousreply 1904/03/2013

R17 has it right. You can't let it go and you can't bitchslap her into next week. Heed his advice to the letter and you'll be in good shape with everyone.

by Anonymousreply 2004/03/2013

Her father killed himself because he was gay. Duh huh.

by Anonymousreply 2104/03/2013

Yet another reason I'm glad I never got on the FB bandwagon? Please tell me again, why do you want to communicate with a long lost cousin of 15 years?

by Anonymousreply 2204/03/2013

Don't ever let go, Jack.

by Anonymousreply 2304/03/2013

Exactly, R22. I don't see the value in connecting with people on-line that you have purposely avoided in person for years, decades.

by Anonymousreply 2404/03/2013

Ignore it. You hardly know the person. Don't bother contacting them.

by Anonymousreply 2504/03/2013

If she's well enough to post, she's well enough to receive responses.

by Anonymousreply 2604/03/2013

Interestingly, a lot of Christian religions believe people who commit suicide go to hell. I am NOT AT ALL saying your cousin is right and I fully agree that article is offensive and horrific, but maybe someone made a comment to her about her dad going to hell that sent her off the deep end and had her looking up crazy stuff that talks about other people "in that boat". I am not making a lot of sense here but having not seen here in 15 years, who knows what toxic people are in her life. I have read heartbreaking accounts of people who have been shunned/kicked out of their church/left without any support in their church congregation after the suicide of a loved one. I hate that your cousin posted the article and this does not justify it at all. but maybe she is lashing out because she herself has been attacked about her dad.

by Anonymousreply 2704/03/2013

Make her feel responsible for her father's death. Tell him he said as much in a note.

You'll have half as many friends by the end of the day and realize how pointless FB is.

by Anonymousreply 2804/03/2013

You should absolutely do it, OP.

And if your cousin says anything anti-gay back you should just unfriend.

by Anonymousreply 2904/03/2013

Give it a couple of months, then let her have it.

by Anonymousreply 3004/04/2013

Has it been established that dad was gay or are we just speculating?

by Anonymousreply 3104/04/2013


by Anonymousreply 3204/07/2013
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