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Angelyne

Discuss the billboard icon, born 1958!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 7008/06/2015

She reminds me of La Toya Jackson.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 104/02/2013

I'm sorry. Did you say was born in 1958? I lived in Los Angeles in the mid-70s and she was an old lady even then.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 204/02/2013

1958? Ha!!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 304/02/2013

At least you got her name right. She's a fug. She just tools around in her dumb pink car. When she ran for governor Gary Coleman and Mary Carey were ahead of her. Oh and she was not born in 58.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 504/02/2013

Hang out in Calabasas and you'll see her there all the time. She drives a pink Corvette.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 604/02/2013

How was she able to conceal her real stats? No one knows if that's her real name, or her age, or where she comes from, or who payed for all those billboards, which cost millions. You'd think she'd be exposed by the internet. There were a few people who worked for her, and their stories were insane. One was fired because they couldn't get George Bush Sr. on the phone for her.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 704/02/2013

Worked for her doing what r7? She is the epitome of famous for being famous. She created Paris and Kim K. What the fuck does she do? She's not that great looking, even before.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 804/02/2013

I've seen her.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 904/02/2013

That woman is 70 if she's a day!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1004/02/2013

She's in her 70s

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1104/02/2013

Pretty...

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1204/02/2013

She didn't look as old when she ran for governor. What, was that ten years ago? She looks like she aged 20 years since then.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1404/03/2013

She sold her pink house a few years ago, or it was at least put on the market.

How freaking ugly!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1504/03/2013

Too funny.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1604/03/2013

r14 I grew up in San Diego but lived in LA for awhile and I heard that she has some "stand-ins" I guess you would say, or doubles. Basically there are supposed to be others of her, for what reason I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't her. She's been old and gross for awhile. I want to hear from r7 about her employees. Maybe some were her doubles?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1704/03/2013

I saw others theorizing doubles before. Was it a whole marketing scam, not on her part, but by some investors (she said investors paid for her billboards, and not her sugar daddy)?

You could easily get doubles. The look only stands out because of the massive blonde (pink strands) hair, makeup, giant tits, all the pink, etc. There's a lot of women out there in LA that could pull that off.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1804/03/2013

Lord knows why she never added a chin implant into the mix after all that work, clearly what she needed most.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 1904/03/2013

She acted in shit in the 70s.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2004/03/2013

She went by Angeline Alyn in the 1970s.

Here's her governor campaign interview ten years ago.

You can see that she looks 30 years younger. Is it a double?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2104/03/2013

Angelyne and Amanda Lepore were hanging out.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2204/03/2013

Do any of you remember when she tried to have a recording career, even though she couldn't carry a tune?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2304/03/2013

Holy shit r21! It would have to be. That was only 10 years ago and old skin like she has could not have come on that fast. Wow!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2404/03/2013

Link has links to mentioned articles:

Angelyne: as essential a part of the Hollywood landscape as the garish minimall

She's a public mystery, craving attention but shying away from private interviews. She is a human being Andy Warhol would have created, a painter (of) herself. She ran for Hollywood City Council in 2002, joined the much-parodied 2003 California gubernatorial recall election (previously), and most recently tried to become Mayor of Hollywood (archive of her Mayoral site). She is still loved by snark-mongers. She is Angelyne. She is ...

A local Hollywood celebrity for her presence on billboards, the "wicked Eve in Hollywood's media-made Garden of Eden," she is can be found in her bright pink Corvette (Hidden Los Angeles previously, Vector Portraits previously). She has been the topic of local articles for a while, the subject of local and foreign TV interest. She's had bit-parts in a few movies and drove Moby around Hollywood. She's inspired song-writers (sample) and mix-tapers. Angelyne once said "I'm the quintessential billboard queen that's supposed to happen. That's why it's so readily and easily accepted. I feel like I've been embedded in the cement of Hollywood for 3,000 years." But where did she come from?

Neither her official website nor MySpace page provide much personal information beyond her likes and dislikes (the latter lists her age as 29). An old webzine has an article on her (circa 1998), noting that she came from Idaho, and moved to Los Angeles for fame and fortune, singing with a group that was first know as Black and Blue, then Baby Blue, and a few weeks it was Angelyne. She released four albums (including Driven to Fantasy), and made a music video for the song "I Always Keep A List of All the Guys I Kiss". But none of those endeavors panned out. Her foray into billboards wouldn't have lasted, either, had it not been for the entrepreneurship of Hugo Maisnik. Maisnik, the president of the outdoor advertisement company who Angelyne contacted, signed with her to support her advertising (and her lease of the iconic 'Vette) for a cut of her profits from her fame. According to a 1987 People Magazine article (which listed her age as 28), Maisnik was her manager at the time. (An article later that year listed her age as 29.)

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2504/03/2013

Hugo Maisnik must be old as fuck.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2604/03/2013

Gifted or not, gorgeous or plain, we're all entitled by Warholian decree to 15 minutes' fame. And yet likenesses of the ageless little sexpot who calls herself only Angelyne have been pouting down from gigantic billboards at the unfortunate populace of Hollywood and their visitors for fully a decade now. At another, in the spring of 1987, an eight-story-high, 85 x 44 likeness of her perched protuberantly atop her famous pink Corvette adorned the side of the old building at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. At one point, she was on display in Times Square. She's been in everything from National Geographic to Self, and was glimpsed every week beneath the opening credits of Moonlighting. She's as essential a part of the Hollywood landscape as the garish minimalls that have come to make the place seem like God's pinball machine. And no end is in sight

In the beginning, she sang, rather in the fashion of Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons. She was no Aretha Franklin ? and at least as good as Paula Abdul. On joining her first group, Black and Blue, it changed its name to Baby Blue, and then, a few weeks later to Angelyne. “You give her an inch,” her longtime patron Hugo Maisnik chuckles admiringly, “and she'll take...the earth!” The grandfatherly president of Myer Show Print, a Los Angeles-, Reno-, and Phoenix-based outdoor advertising company, her longtime patron Hugo Maisnik met Angelyne in 1982 when she ordered a quantity of huge likenesses of herself with which to beautify Los Angeles's bus shelters. When she turned out to be a deadbeat -- “There were spots on them, ” she's since giggled -- Hugo did the only sensible thing: signed her to a personal services contract whereby Myer would make her famous and then share the profits of her fame.

The cute part being that Angelyne wouldn't actually do anything other than pose for new photographs every half-decade or so atop the 'vette Hugo leased for her. She wouldn't act, that is, or continue making records, necessarily; she would just be famous. "What does any entertainer do?" Hugo submits. “They give enjoyment. Well, Angelyne doesn't have to do anything but be Angelyne.”

Implacably preening and posing in the early days of her fame, fervently coy, rapaciously narcissistic (no fewer than 17 badly painted self-portraits littered her breathtakingly slovenly apartment up the street from the Sunset Strip), she wasn't amusing company. “She needs new writers, ” John Waters sniffed, most aptly. “There is a sad, desparate quality to [her], like a clown still performing long after the circus has closed, “ harrumphed the man from the Times. These days, though, while persists in revealing almost nothing of herself, she's quite happy to allow the conversation to touch on subjects other than herself, as when she admits to envying Clara Bow, whose biography she's reading, for having “hung out with Gary Cooper, who was incredibly good-looking, and shy. I love shy men.” She seems to try to remember to end every laugh with a little gasp, and walks to make jaws drop, but is otherwise pretty free of affectation.

To see her up close in daylight is to suspect that she's lived longer than Marilyn Monroe did, but she denies that she chose the pricey, mediocre Beverly Hills Indian restaurant at which she meets us for its extremely flattering pink light. “I look good in bright sunlight,” she says, mistakenly. “It makes my eyes shine.”

With those marvels of science, her preposerously gigantic boobs, and her extremely blonde hair, wonderful little legs, and Vegas call girl wardrobe, she may be every schoolboy's wet dream -- at least from a distance ? but there are those who suspect the little sexpot is the most nearly chaste...young woman in Hollywood, and the steadfast Hugo's one of them. “I don't think she's ever had a boyfriend,” he confides. “She doesn't like girls. I don't think she likes men. I don't think she likes boys. I just think she's just in love with people in a sense and that sex is not her game.” Confronted with which charge, she demurely bristles, “How could I possibly not like sex? With the right person, it's very beautiful. However, I do think it's very animalistic. You don't do it with just anybody, especially now. I think the best way to have it is the way they did in Cocoon.” Her ideal romantic partner would be "a young Poindexter who wears glasses and has short hair and kind of a cute face, but all he's interested in is his science project."

If every celebrity were as accommodating with her public, there would be no more wars. You might suppose that after ten years, Angelyne would have tired of slobbering neanderthals' guttural expressions of lust. But she implausibly asserts, “I can turn it into something better. A woman can make a man feel like a slob, or she can say, 'Thank you very much for the compliment.'” She claims to be upbraided by feminists infuriated by her being every schoolboy's wet dream only “once in a blue moon.” What most women want from her, she says, is an autograph.

Which isn't to say that she hasn't had to suffer for her celebrity. Five years ago, a fan pestered her so fervently that she had to get a restraining order against him. More recently, after pulling into a filling station, she found herself with three official photographs of herself on hand, and four young men demanding them; the disappointed one called her a whore. And moments before you met, she received a disturbing letter from poor Norma Jean Hausknecht, who believes her to be her long-lost friend Junie Millmooskie.

“I looked in the mirror last night when I got out of my bubble bath and said, 'Oh, my god! Sharon Tate's ghost is in your face!'” She also acknowledges her uncanny resemblance to the cartoon character Little Annie Fanny, and is presently on the outs with the heretofore steadfast Hugo for not allowing the folks who gave us Tron to base a Saturday morning cartoon show on her. “It would have given her immortality,” Hugo laments. “They wanted to majorly rip me off,” the lady herself says. “But the main thing was the way they drew me ? too square; I'm more of a round person.”

She seems a consummate sweetheart -- the steadfast Hugo assures us that she's the best friend anybody could have ? but claims to get “a lot of my confidence and power from anger. I'd rather play the game of revenge than Monopoly or gin rummy or something.” She tells the characteristically implausible tale of a man who'd been harassing all the children in her Idaho neighborhood of her early childhood. “When the day came that he got to me, he threw me up in the air and threw me down and scared me half to death. So the next morning I got up at six right after the rain had stopped and smeared dog doodoo on his car door with a stick. For 14 years I lived with the guilt. But then I saw my babysitter, and she told me, 'You shouldn't feel bad. He deserved it, and he never bothered anybody again.” Tiny Angelyne, angel of vengeance.

Having claimed in years past to be a local, she now demurely grouses, “Everybody always puts me down when I say I come from Idaho. 'Oh, potatoes. No wonder you left.' But I'll come from wherever I want to come from.” She would like us to believe that, demure as she is, she relates to “the intenstity, anger, and power of heavy metal,” but has more interesting taste than such a statement would suggest. She likes Pearl Jam, Kyuss, and White Zombie. She's fervently pro-choice, but can't imagine what she'd say to Hillary Rodham Clinton if they were to run into one another at Playmates, the Hollywood Blvd. boutique in which she buys much of her scandalous attire. She hasn't been following the tragic goings-on in Bosnia, “but I have an agent who's going back and forth to Russia to get me a giant mural before Sony and the oil companies grab every available wall.”

“I don't think about gays in the military either,” she admits, digging into her tandoori chicken in spite of the heretofore steadfast Hugo's conception of her as a devout vegetarian. “I don't think about gays at all except when they're doing my hair or makeup. Seriously, they're very artistic, and they dress up like me for Halloween, and I don't know what we'd do without them.” Her last notable employment in this country was in a cameo in Earth Girls Are Easy, but she claims to have done a glamorous print ad with a cigarette holder and maribou boa and everything for German cigarettes, the health of her Teutonic fans be damned. “I weighed and balanced it and decided it would be all right, ” she says, and then whispers, “I needed the money; I was running out of panties. ”

According to her gaunt, peevish Monkee-haired major-domo, her fan club has an international membership in excess of 20,000, and is a source of revenue. But Herself tenaciously refuses to reveal how she keeps the fuel tanks of her her-and-her pink Corvettes and Cadillac filled. “Right now she's very much on her own,” Hugo tells us, “but she always latches onto support somehow ? and not by giving her body. You just can't say no to her. Right now she has about $2 million worth of advertising up.You try to get $2 million of publicity up. I don't know of anybody else on earth who has that ability, except Donald Trump. I've always told her, 'Angelyne, you could run the largest corporation.'”

Everyone in Hollywood has written a screenplay, and Angelyne embodies Hollywood no less than the pockmarked riffraff on Hollywood Blvd. She didn't write The Bra That Ate L.A., about an eccentric scientist who invents a supernatural power-conferring brassiere, in longhand in pink ink, but rather hired a computer tutor to teach her WordPerfect for DOS. She assures you first that it's being shopped by a really top-notch lawyer whose name she's not allowed, of course, to mention, and then claims that she and her investors have already been “this close to having it made, but we decided that we couldn't do it for $10 million.”

Who her investors are she won't say. But the steadfast Hugo is happy to confide, "I don't know if anybody who's done anything for her has ever lost money. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I'd be in business today. The involvements that she got me into are the most successful and long-lasting of all my involvements.

“I'd be at a restaurant with a customer and tell him that someone would be joining us. I would let him face the door. When you'd suddenly be able to hear a pin drop, I'd know she'd arrived. My customer would be smiling from ear to ear -- and want to do business with me.

“When she had that 60-foot billboard in Times Square, we stopped paying for it, but for years they kept moving it all around New York just to build up space. That was a dead wall. They couldn't sell it for anything. It had had the same Coca-Cola thing on it for four years. After she was on it,everybody wanted it.”

Back over her tandoori chicken, Herself bores us with one of her canned anecdotes. “One rocker I was dating made an A brand for me,” she murmurs. “I didn't want to use it on him, though, because I thought it would hurt. But he begged me and begged me and begged me, and I'm a real wimp when a guy begs, especially one I could possibly like. So I went ahead and did it, and kind of got hooked on it.” We try to convince her that she'd be better off talking up some obscure cause -- battered undocumented aliens, say.

Lacking the wherewithal to pay her parking bill (your most luminous superstars carry no cash), she enchants the swarthy keepers of the lot with a pout and a flutter of her false eyelashes and is gone, taking the long way home to pass one of her billboards.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2704/03/2013

Thanks for the link and info r25. I have to say, this is why I love DL. One minute I am reading about Jodi Arias, and the next it's Angelyne. Totally random and awesome.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2804/03/2013

Angelyne takes the witness stand.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 2904/03/2013

German television. lmao

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3004/03/2013

Angelyne Exhibit at Lethal Amounts - Los Angeles, CA

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3104/03/2013

I've seen her about 3 times in person and her corvette double that. It will be a sad day when she goes.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3204/03/2013

r32 Have you seen her recently? Does she have doubles? I can't fathom that the woman in the governor interview is the same woman in the recent pics. It has only been ten years!I've seen her drive in LA but never up close so I don't know how she really looks.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3304/03/2013

Bump for Friday night.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3404/06/2013

Angelyn recently fell flat on her face in beverly Hills and someone took a video. Poor thing.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3504/23/2013

Pink pussy bump!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3602/26/2014

Tig ol bitties.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3702/26/2014

It's the same woman. I think she looked very good for her age (albeit ludicrous) until just a few years ago. She also had some odd face work done -- not sure if it's fillers or what -- and altered her makeup and wig.

She never, ever smiled on billboards or in photos, and I don't think it was an act; she seems to be utterly humorless. But that sour-lemon look also contributes to making her look ancient rather than pouty.

I'd guess she's about 70 now.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3802/27/2014

Bump for a fascinating woman. I wonder what Della thinks about her?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 3902/27/2014

Not into girls, huh? LOL

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4002/27/2014

Anyway, she's a nice woman who, while she never smiles, is quite friendly and is in on the joke.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4102/27/2014

Right R40. How odd that he would mention that first. And the assumption that she's never had a boyfriend and maybe hasn't had much sex. Suspish.

Wouldn't it be something if Angelyne was a closeted lesbian?

Anyway, I remember being a kid in the 80s and seeing her in the corvette riding around town. I always wondered what kind of "services" she provided. I mean it was just a provocative photo on a billboard with a phone number. My parents assumed she was a stripper or prostitute.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4202/28/2014

People like Angelyne were invented by the rich. No one else could keep their stats under wraps.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4302/28/2014

I lived in the Valley in the 80s and she was like the Lochness monster. In the pre-internet days of yore, spotting her was a big deal. Her self promotional genius was unprecedented for the time. We had NO idea what the billboards were for. Usually she could be spotted in Hollywood on weekends or in some supermarket in the Valley during the week.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4402/28/2014

She was in her 40s in the 80s.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4504/23/2015

R42, The rumors from much older men in Hollywood back in the day when certain things were kept on the down low, is that Angelyne was born with a penis. Who do you think paid for the huge billboard ads on Sunset Blvd? They weren't cheap.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4604/23/2015

She has to at least be in her 70's now. Someone needs to do an in depth expose on her. Who is she really, her background, what is her real name and age, how did she achieve her mediocum of fame, who paid for the billboards, fancy cars and all the plastic surgery. I know she barely clinging on as a Z-Lister these days, but I bet it would be a very interesting story.

Here a clip of a grumpy Angelyne throwing soda on a paparazzi at a 7-Eleven!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4704/23/2015

Angelyne upskirt pussy shot. Ahh, my eyes! Someone buy granny some panties!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4804/23/2015

Angelyne put up her condo for a sale a couple of years ago. Here's the inside.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 4905/26/2015

Here are the after photos of her condo. They took all the Angelyne shit out. It's kind of nice.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5005/26/2015

Angelyne was fun Hollywood before it went global. You'd see her and wave! She'd wave back! A good day in Los Angeles!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5105/26/2015

I had to live in LA for 8 years before seeing her. My sighting was in Los Feliz last December, in front of Wacko/Soap Plant. It was a privileged moment.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5205/26/2015

saw her shopping at Whole Foods i think on ventura blvd way back in 2002. walked towards me in one of the aisle's with her sunglasses pulled down on her nose as it looked like she was "eyeing" me.. made me feel pretty damn studly and confident that day! lol!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5305/26/2015

Um, Angelyne likes women. VERY friendly to other gals.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5405/26/2015

[quote]How was she able to conceal her real stats?

Because nobody cares!

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5505/26/2015

Are we sure she isn't being played by Brenda Dickson?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5605/26/2015

If that's true 54 then that explains why she is broke. Women won't pay for pussy.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5705/26/2015

We want Angelyne to be happy.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5805/26/2015

WOW, why so much hate for her? Who cares if she lies about her age and wasted money, and just drives around in a pink corvette? She's still an interesting sight to behold, and I'd LOVE to actually see her drive by me in her corvette. What did she ever do that would bring out all this hate? Jeez, what a hate filled group.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 5905/26/2015

[quote]What did she ever do that would bring out all this hate?

She laid the groundwork for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6005/26/2015

It's the new people who intruded on LA. Before that happened, there would be Angelyne, but never Kardashians.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6105/26/2015

She's J-ewish.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6205/26/2015

How has she been able to keep that little girl voice all these years?

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6305/26/2015

I think she's awesome.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6405/29/2015

Interestling R62. She's supposedly of polish decent and some people online claim her birth name was either Renee Goldberg or Renee Strauss.

When she ran for governor of California in 2003, she put her birth year as 1963 on the legal docs. I burst out laughing when I read that. More like she was 63 then.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6505/29/2015

Rare pic of Angelyne smiling with Cassandra Peterson (Elvira), and Nina Hagen.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6605/29/2015

Another smiling pic with Nina H. She actually looks very pretty here. Shame she did what she did to her face. Circa 1985.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6705/29/2015

[quote] her birth name was either Renee Goldberg or Renee Strauss.

Her name is Angelyne, our bright LA star.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6805/29/2015

That might be her name now R68, but I highly doubt it was the one she was born with.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 6905/29/2015

Angelyne managed to get written up by The Hollywood Reporter. She put down Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian and "Boring, Gauche" Celeb Culture, says she doesn't believe in aging, denied sleeping with the married guy who financed her Billboards, claims she turned down many Reality TV show offers and will only tell about her past if it's her own memoirs that she will profit from. I would love to hear her REAL story so she should go ahead and do that, its not like she has anything else going on and rumor has it she's not in the best financial shape these days.

by Barbie wishes she were me!reply 7008/06/2015
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