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I Keep Reading "Jesus Has Risen" on Facebook

But nothing on CNN.

by Anonymousreply 2103/31/2013

I can't people believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I mean really, how ridiculous is that.

by Anonymousreply 103/31/2013

That hooker in Africa just did it and it didn't take her three days.

by Anonymousreply 203/31/2013

You need to reevaluate your friend list!

by Anonymousreply 303/31/2013

Does that mean he spent the rest of his life in a state of semi decay? I work with dead bodies and I can tell you that unless refrigerated, you look bad after three days. Not to mention the smell.

by Anonymousreply 403/31/2013

Jesus has risen? That's more than I can say about the soufflé I made tonight. So embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 503/31/2013

Christianity Synopsis:

The story about the cosmic Jewish zombie who is his own father, whom by eating his flesh and drinking his blood and telling him that he is my master I can be saved from the evil that was thrust on humanity by the rib woman who the talking snake tempted to eat the bad apple?

by Anonymousreply 603/31/2013

R3, This is primarily a game account, not a personal one (I don't have a "real" Facebook). Most of the people (of 630) are complete strangers, from all walks. It's kinda fun, actually. Love posting all my liberal stuff--I've probably been un-friended a million times, lol. But I've made a few good connections as well. This past election was a quite a trip.

Anyway, still no word about Jesus on CNN.

by Anonymousreply 703/31/2013

In the Bible, does it say if they actually see him rise or was his body just missing so they assumed he must've risen? I forget.

by Anonymousreply 803/31/2013

I think it was the cave was empty, R8.

by Anonymousreply 903/31/2013

So your garden variety necrophelliac could have stolen the body and created all of this bullshit?

by Anonymousreply 1003/31/2013

No one saw shit, it was just an empty tomb.

by Anonymousreply 1103/31/2013

Mourning wood is the WORST!

by Anonymousreply 1203/31/2013

Who cares? Pass the ham, please.

by Anonymousreply 1303/31/2013

I'll admit it OP, I laughed.

by Anonymousreply 1403/31/2013

It's on Fox News, OP. CNN is slow to react on Sundays.

by Anonymousreply 1503/31/2013

They kneaded him, pumped him full of yeast, and left him in a warm spot.

by Anonymousreply 1603/31/2013

This theory seems as likely as any other.

by Anonymousreply 1703/31/2013

Greater is He that is *in me*!

by Anonymousreply 1803/31/2013

Jesus is coming, OP.

Try to look busy.

by Anonymousreply 1903/31/2013

He's going to be on the Today Show tomorrow with Kathie Lee and Hoda. You know they'll just love his wine-making skills.

by Anonymousreply 2003/31/2013

Happy Revamped Ancient Pagan Holiday!!

by Anonymousreply 2103/31/2013
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