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Does The 'Gaybros' Trend Divide The LGBT Community?

A recent article on Slate.com about a Reddit subgroup known as "Gaybros" inspired the above conversation on HuffPost Live.

Urban Dictionary defines a Gaybro as:

"A gay man who acts masculine and is interested in guy stuff like sports, video games, military issues, grilling, knives, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, etc…" but also:

"Young masculine homosexual males who exhibit no effeminate characteristics or interests and make a point of going on about how 'normal' they are. Previously they would have refered to themselves as straight acting but that's so 2005. Gaybros have no gay friends because they can't relate to other gay people. This is something else they insist on telling everyone." HuffPost Live invited the founder, Alex Deluca, as well as Tim Karu, a moderator of the Gaybros subreddit, to chat with HuffPost Live host Ahmed Shihab-Eldin, HuffPost Live Producer Mitchell Williams and HuffPost Gay Voices Editor Noah Michelson about the controversial Reddit group.

In the clip above, Williams and Michelson discuss why they find the idea of the Gaybros movement somewhat troubling.

What do you think about Gaybros? Watch the clip above, see the full segment here and sound off in the comments section below.

Check out the full segment at link.

by Anonymousreply 355Last Friday at 6:13 PM

For anything to be a divisive problem, a community must first be united.

by Anonymousreply 103/30/2013

If they are not part of the LGBT community, then it's pretty hard for them to divide it. Unless of course the community lets its self be divided.

by Anonymousreply 303/30/2013

They're just another of many, many gay subcultures. I have no problem with it except this crowd seems to think it's somehow better than all the other gay guys which just makes them sort of sad.

by Anonymousreply 603/31/2013

Gaybros...

Butt, of course. Same as it ever was.

by Anonymousreply 703/31/2013

R4 says it all.

by Anonymousreply 803/31/2013

The gaybro community has nothing to do with having a problem identifying as gay (duh, look at the name) and nothing to do with hating other gay people.

It just refers to a subset of gay guys who feel out of place in what they perceive as gay culture because their interest and personality tends to more closely align with their straight friends, except they are proudly and openly gay.

Nothing about that is unusual, anyone knows that gay guys come in every personality and the only thing that unites them is their sexual attraction. That is just a community for them to hang out, it is heavily geared toward young people who are also still struggling with the identity of being gay.

It is being overblown by many in the media..because well, that is what the media does.

by Anonymousreply 903/31/2013

It's hardly a trend. There have been people like that for as long as there have been gays.

by Anonymousreply 1103/31/2013

It's hardly a trend. There have been guys like that for as long as there have been gay people.

by Anonymousreply 1203/31/2013

I think it always has. I, for instance adore Zsa Zsa but most of my friends preferred Eva.

by Anonymousreply 1303/31/2013

The military is loaded with this brand of delusional queens. They just love telling all their friends, gay and straight, how normal they are.

by Anonymousreply 1403/31/2013

Everybody talks during discussions like this as if Judy and drag and all the other aspects of high camp are gay culture. That hasn't been the centre of gay culture or the gay community for twenty or thirty years.

The gay community is everything now... there's too many people to boil it down to a handful of elements. The only cultures or communities that can be simplified to a few things are moronic collections like Tea Partiers or fundamentalists. Everybody's everything now, the only difference is the internet makes it possible to know about all the different takes on things.

by Anonymousreply 1603/31/2013

Who said it is a "trend" other than the tired out-of-touch amateurs at HuffPo? Just because they have a small sub-reddit group does not make it "a trend". There is a sub-reddit for every possible group you can think of, literally thousands of them.

by Anonymousreply 1703/31/2013

Well, we have "fag hags," "rice queens," "queens," why not "gay bros"? Not like we don't classify people already.

by Anonymousreply 1803/31/2013

Maybe it would if anyone had ever heard of it before. Or if anyone over the age of 25 used the word "bro."

by Anonymousreply 2003/31/2013

If it makes them happy why do you care?

by Anonymousreply 2103/31/2013

I believe that this is Much Ado about Nothing.

by Anonymousreply 2203/31/2013

Exactly R21. They're not hurting anyone.

by Anonymousreply 2303/31/2013

What's important is the intent of how individuals use the word.

Is it to set yourself apart from all those femme fags, the sleazy gay fetish sex, the high heels wearing drag queens, or the sad ol' leather daddies?

Is it the desperate desire to be closer to actual straight guys (hey, I do the same stuff ... I just enjoy the roughhousing and fooling around a bit more than you guys might)?

Is it a lack of identity presence within the gay community while avoiding the controversial term 'straight acting'?

by Anonymousreply 2403/31/2013

Some of you really need to get over it.

Not everyone is like you. Not everyone is a reflection of you.

They use the word gay and you dislike it.

Others reject the word gay and you dislike it.

Get the fuck over it and let them be and identify any fucking way the wish.

by Anonymousreply 2503/31/2013

It's just another version of the age old Mussey Vs Mangina argument

by Anonymousreply 2603/31/2013

The only problem with Gaybros is when they put down other types of gay men. There's nothing wrong with being a video game loving jock, but there is something wrong when you imply being a Judy-loving queen is bad.

With the amount of prejudice we face as gay men, one would think we would be better at accepting people for who they are.

by Anonymousreply 2703/31/2013

Could they have picked a stupider name than "gaybro?" It seems like a very, very lame episode of "How I Met Your Mother."

by Anonymousreply 2803/31/2013

It really sounds like a bunch of gay guys with Asbergers. If they have no friends and all their interests are things that are basically solitary such as working out or games which have rules built into them which try can understand unlike other people which calls for empathy could be a more accurate description. Also it's probably their age as well. As their personal and sexual identity develop they won't be treated by gay people with interests different from their or that they see as stereotypical and foreign.

by Anonymousreply 2903/31/2013

Just more drag, most of the time.

by Anonymousreply 3003/31/2013

Would be nice if everybody stopped putting everyone else into classifications and just treated everyone humanely and respected each other.

by Anonymousreply 3103/31/2013

Personally I'd have picked something like 'HeGay'.

by Anonymousreply 3203/31/2013

R17 WTF is a "small sub-reddit group"?

by Anonymousreply 3303/31/2013

Oh, r31, you're new here on this planet.

by Anonymousreply 3403/31/2013

[quote]one would think we would be better at accepting people for who they are.

But is seems they are not the ones who are being not accepting. Its those outside their clique who are all, "they are dividing the community. They are too exclusive." All these guys want is to be themselves. If someone doesn't want to hang around with you or socialize with you, its not necessarily because they hate you. It could be they just don't see any common bond and would rather hang with someone they do have a connection to. We all do that to some extent.

by Anonymousreply 3503/31/2013

1990s SASA = 2010s "gaybro"

by Anonymousreply 3603/31/2013

I think this terminology is fucking ridiculous. I have multiple friends who technically fit the "gaybro" definition, including one ex-Marine, but they certainly have no problem with being gay or a part of gay culture in general.

by Anonymousreply 3703/31/2013

The fastest growing demographic out there today is masculine gay tops looking for femme gay bottoms.

Femme is sexy again!

by Anonymousreply 3803/31/2013

Why does it seems like lesbians never have these sorts of problems. You never see huge meltdowns about femme lesbians versus the butch lesbians. Here is a novel concept, stop trying to box everybody in and just let people define their truth however it works best for them.

by Anonymousreply 3903/31/2013

R37 By definition, those friends of yours are not gaybros

by Anonymousreply 4003/31/2013

True, R40. By definition, a gaybro is only a gaybro because he *does* have a problem with gay culture in general.

by Anonymousreply 4103/31/2013

R41 I don't know if they necessarily have a problem with gay culture. It seems they just don't feel a connection to it. Thats understandable. There is much in what some call the gay culture I don't feel a connection to or interest in. Doesn't mean I have a problem, its just not for me.

by Anonymousreply 4203/31/2013

Weird that this is just becoming a term. I've been offering my straight friends "bro-jobs" for years.

by Anonymousreply 4303/31/2013

'gaybro' just brings up images of guys who are trying just a little too hard to be masculine: voices just a little too deep, backslapping and handshaking just a little too hard. My experience has been that when you get a couple of drinks in these guys, their femme side comes out.

by Anonymousreply 4403/31/2013

There was a gay author whose name excapes me who wrote about his sexscapades in the loose gay underground of 1970's LA. He used to fancy himself as masculine and was once given shade by a cross dresser who told him that his muscles were also a form of drag and still gay.

by Anonymousreply 4503/31/2013

Because every gay man has to be femme, don't they r44?

by Anonymousreply 4603/31/2013

being active in a "subreddit" sounds pretty gay to me

by Anonymousreply 4703/31/2013

If a gay guy really likes "bro" things then great. I'm watching college basketball as I type.

However, there is NOTHING more pathetic than a gay man who actively cultivates an otherwise nonexistent interest in sports, etc, because of internalized homophobia. Nothing. I'd rather hang out with a screaming queen in Liza drag than a poseur "gaybro".

by Anonymousreply 4803/31/2013

If they are out and proud to be gay, I'm happy.

by Anonymousreply 4903/31/2013

I think part of the issue is that many of us, as we are coming out, go through a period where we think of ourselves as being a new kind of gay "Not like those fags you always see". We insist that everything gay is drag queens and Barbra Streisand/Liza worship and that we don't belong.

It's insecurity and we eventually realize that nothing other people do is any reflection on us and we no longer have any axe to grind. So we just be ourselves, whatever that may be.

by Anonymousreply 5003/31/2013

[quote]We insist that everything gay is drag queens and Barbra Streisand/Liza worship and that we don't belong.

If ones calendar was stuck in 1981, I can see how they would feel that way.

by Anonymousreply 5103/31/2013

puhleeeze, this is just a way to troll for dick on Grindr. It's quicker than explaining how butch they are and that they are looking to bottom.

by Anonymousreply 5203/31/2013

Where are all these "gaybros"?

All the gay men I know are obviously gay, many of them are quite masculine guys, but they're still pretty gay.

I don't really buy that there are these out gay men who are such "bros" that they're indistinguishable from straight men.

by Anonymousreply 5303/31/2013

[quote]I don't really buy that there are these out gay men who are such "bros" that they're indistinguishable from straight men.

Get out more often. There's tons of them.

by Anonymousreply 5403/31/2013

Read r52.

Thread closed.

by Anonymousreply 5503/31/2013

John Rechy, R45. And he was wrong, all wrong, about Griffith Park.

by Anonymousreply 5603/31/2013

What R54 said. All you are proclaiming is how limited your social circle is. Nothing wrong with that, but your experience is not universal, there are plenty of gay men who aren't "noticeable gay" in personality or mannerisms.

by Anonymousreply 5703/31/2013

aren't these men known as bears

by Anonymousreply 5803/31/2013

Isn't a gay bro just a butch gay male?? If so they are hardly unique.

by Anonymousreply 5903/31/2013

r44 LOL

by Anonymousreply 6003/31/2013

My parents were both born in Germany; I do not identify with much German culture and have asserted myself as pretty apple pie American. However, I love German engineering and do enjoy strudel on the regular. I definitely don't revile German culture but I am not so shortsighted as to not see some of the stereotypical German characteristics as peculiar and odd. Is this a fair comparison to the Gaybro culture-- I don't mean to denigrate but choose to identify myself as I see fit?

by Anonymousreply 6103/31/2013

R59 I think the main thing is they are not a part of the "gay scene" (for lack of a better term).

by Anonymousreply 6203/31/2013

The Gaybros subreddit is a lot of fun and most of the posters there are cool and suportive, unlike this shithole.

by Anonymousreply 6303/31/2013

Read some of those reddit threads, they're not as "masculine" as they think.

by Anonymousreply 6403/31/2013

Most young men are such wimps or neurotic frauds, they're all "gaybros" - even if they slam pussy (and deceive themselves they'e good at it).

by Anonymousreply 6503/31/2013

The first thread I noticed, R64, was the age-old "I wish I weren't circumcised" v. "I wish I'd been circumcised" argument, something you'll never find on DL.

So "bro."

by Anonymousreply 6603/31/2013

Found this on the subreddit, liked it.

[quote]Again, even that "masc" masculinity that's prized in Craigslist classifieds is an exceedingly narrow version of masculinity. Basically none of the straight guys I know are "masc" enough for those "masc4masc" dudes. Most of us gaybros are probably not masculine in that way; I know I'm not.

[quote]Also, if Craigslist men-seeking-men classifieds are now a measure of privilege in gay society, I might as well give up and become a Buddhist monk, or something. Would YOU feel privileged to fit the description of what those creepy-ass dudes want? Hell no.

by Anonymousreply 6703/31/2013

Most of the replies to this thread are so offensive. Gaybro is a stupid term, I agree, but there is a large percentage of gays, myself included, that are attracted to MEN and all things masculine. We don't necessarily identify with the feminine. It's not divisive, it's not self-loathing. It's just who we are.

I have been out since high school (the 1970's), so am very comfortable with my sexuality and identity - and have a lot of straight, "straight-acting" and more-feminine-aligned gays as friends. I just prefer the company of the more "straight-acting" - and not because of any sense of shame or discomfort. It's just more aligned to my personality .. and way hotter, imho.

by Anonymousreply 6803/31/2013

R68 is a SASA (which I have always pronounced SAH-SAH).

by Anonymousreply 7003/31/2013

I don't think GayBro's would be a good title.

The lesbians have LesBro's, which are Straight Guy buddies. So shouldn't GayBro's be Straight Guy friends to the gay males?

by Anonymousreply 7103/31/2013

What is a SASA, r70?

by Anonymousreply 7203/31/2013

Wow, here they come out of the closet: An army of straight-acting homosexual/bi-sexual guys. Ready to be out and free- and bag them a rich sugar daddy. Having never suffered discrimination, been bullied or seen "Mommie Dearest".

What are we to do with them? Ostracize them? Embrace them?

It's like a shipload of Somali immigrants coming to Harlem.

by Anonymousreply 7303/31/2013

"Straight Acting (Sissy Asshole)"

by Anonymousreply 7403/31/2013

SASA = Straight Acting Straight Appearing.

I'm always surprised when someone asks this, given how acronymized the rest of life is. But I'm glad you asked, R72.

by Anonymousreply 7503/31/2013

[quote]What are we to do with them? Ostracize them? Embrace them?

How about just let them live their life they way they wish and admit what they do has no impact on you in any way, shape or form?

That seems the easiest thing to do.

by Anonymousreply 7603/31/2013

I guess we're just talking about different things, R73. I guess I'm SASA, but there is NOTHING bisexual about me and haven't seen the inside of a closet since middle school. I also have probably seen more adversity than you (but really don't know since I don't know you) but I'd venture to say you haven't had your teeth knocked out by a baseball bat by a roaming band of teenagers in West Hollywood, returning to your car after going to a gay bar - and spending 3 days in the ICU.

So don't go acting all superior as if your kind of gay is better or more deserving than any other kind of gay.

by Anonymousreply 7703/31/2013

OMG, my friend the gay redneck is totally a "gaybro." He doesn't ever say anything bad about the gay community, though, and he dates guys who are not straight acting, shall we say, but he grew up as the oldest of several brothers and aside from the fact that he likes cock, he is no different from any straight dude.

by Anonymousreply 7803/31/2013

You've gone and smashed one of my theories about SASAhood, R77 R72 R68, which is my assumption that SASAs call themselves SASAs to protect themselves from incidents like the one you report with the baseball bat. Which I am so sorry happened to you, btw.

I guess they saw you leave the bar and rushed in before you got to your car.

I hope it was long ago, and that you are now well.

Peace, brother.

by Anonymousreply 7903/31/2013

r77 has it right. I don't care how many engines you've rebuilt or how many brews you knock back during the Knicks game, to a certain percentage of the population, you are still a cocksucker.

by Anonymousreply 8003/31/2013

R80 isn't that the fight that all minorities have to fight? Ask a black person who doesn't fall into stereotypes or an Hispanic person or an Asian person about that sort of thing.

by Anonymousreply 8103/31/2013

R80, we can see your self loathing.

Yeah, he's still a cocksucker. So am I. So are you. There's nothing wrong with that.

by Anonymousreply 8203/31/2013

You just knew this thread would set the prissies to hissing.

by Anonymousreply 8303/31/2013

[Why does it seems like lesbians never have these sorts of problems. You never see huge meltdowns about femme lesbians versus the butch lesbians. Here is a novel concept, stop trying to box everybody in and just let people define their truth however it works best for them.]

Oh trust me, lesbians DO have huge meltdowns over this.

I'm femme, and I get a lot of static from both the gay and straight world for not conforming to what they think "lesbian" looks like. Apparently if I'm a gay female, it's de rigueur that I shave my head and wear a lot of flannel, otherwise, I'm either a traitor (as per the 'butches') or I'm really straight and simply 'confused' (as per the heterosexuals).

If two femme women start dating, they are accused of turning their back on butches and marginalizing them. We are told we are not only conforming to hetero-normative stereotypes, but we're also brainwashed and slaves to the straight male feminine ideal.

Bitch, I like my makeup! Sue me!

Why can't we all just be ourselves and not have to explain why we like what we like, do what we do, dress how we dress, etc?

It's fucked up, and lord knows we have enough real problems as a community to be getting on with. We don't need to waste time defending our individual preferences as, you know, individual human beings!

by Anonymousreply 8403/31/2013

[quote]You just knew this thread would set the prissies to hissing.

Yep. I say we create at least 10 Justin Bieber threads and 10 "fems aren't real gays" threads every day just to exhaust them so they won't have enough energy to ruin the other threads.

by Anonymousreply 8503/31/2013

OP: Yes. Yes, it does.

I hate to admit it, but I'm probably a gaybro. I serve in the military and most of my friends are straight. As such, I don't really have a lot of traditionally gay interests...and no gay friends. Meanwhile, I've found that the more feminine gay guys tend to be stand-offish/snotty around me....and I actually consider myself slightly homophobic.

by Anonymousreply 8603/31/2013

That's not homophobic r86, that's just having the good sense to separate yourself from deliberately annoying people. Most gays are like you - not military of course, but normal natural guys who haven't purposely crafted their speech and gestures to irritate others.

by Anonymousreply 8703/31/2013

I hate the term "straight acting". Masculinity is not solely the possession of heterosexual males.

by Anonymousreply 8803/31/2013

r82 I don't know where you get "self-loathing". I'm pretty proud of my cocksucking skills.

I was merely pointing out that gay is gay, whether it's football or opera you enjoy when you're not sucking cock.

AND A LOT OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE HATE THAT.

by Anonymousreply 8903/31/2013

Why We Need Gaybros

"I hate women," my ex-boyfriend once told me. I had met him through OKCupid. On his profile he described himself as "straight-acting" and a "regular guy who just likes guys." When it came to the men he was attracted to, he had little patience for femininity. But it turned out that even I, in the closet at the time and with stereotypical "straight" mannerisms, couldn't live up to his standards. Getting teary-eyed when saying "I love you"? I had unacceptably "feminine eyes." Cuddling? No way. And apparently I have a "gaycent," as he informed me.

It's possible that my ex was like this because, despite being out, he might not have been comfortable accepting his own sexuality, perhaps a vestige of his Arizonan, Southern Baptist heritage. Such insecurities might also explain the physical, verbal and emotional abuse I experienced from him.

My ex was many things, but he was not a gaybro.

"Gaybros" is an online community that primarily operates out of a subsection of the social news site Reddit. It's a place to share interesting links, turn for advice and ogle guys (both the family-friendly and "NSFW" variety), as well as a place to talk about mutual interests and concerns.

This is but one of many LGBT-centric subsections on Reddit that pivot around a cluster of shared interests. Gay and into video games? Go to Gaymers. Gay and Jewish? GayJews welcomes you. Gay with an interest in engineering and science? May I suggest Gaygineers?

Each subsection has a different (but often overlapping) group of members, and each has cultivated its own unique community. For example, there are many days when the entire front page of Gaymers is devoid of anything related to gaming, but it will always be content that the gaymer community would enjoy.

Gaybros pivots around a community with the kind of interests that you'd expect to find among frat boys. In fact, the name "Gaybros" is a (perhaps cheeky) reference to the stereotype that frat boys refer to eachother as "bro."

But beyond the funny name lies a very deep, substantive and complex community. Gaybros raises money for charity and promotes sexual health education, it's a safe space for talking about abusive relationships, and it's the go-to place to talk about sports while also talking about who the hottest guy on the team is.

Though this community may be frat-inspired, it is not elitist. Anyone can join with a click of a button. Nor is it exclusive to a particular type of guy or set of traits. I learned this firsthand when I wrote to Alex DeLuca, the founder of Gaybros, about a friend of mine who was hesitant about joining Gaybros. Despite sharing all the interests of your typical gaybro, he had avoided the community. The reason? As he put it, "I have a voice of a 12-year-old girl." Alex's response was simple and to the point: "GET HIM ON GAYBROS NOW!"

It's also important to note that these emerging subcultures of the gay community aren't spelling the demise of the unity of the LGBT community. This is not segmentation of the gay community any more than forming a social club in school is the segmentation of the student body. Rather, this is the inevitable result of the progress of gay rights and gay acceptance. We've reached a critical mass where gay men are seeking out communities that aren't just gay-centric but cater to their particular tastes and interests.

My ex may not have been a gaybro, but I wish he had been. As a member of the Gaybros community, he could have learned the error in his negative attitude toward all things "feminine." And maybe in the process he'd have learned to quell whatever demons caused him to be so abusive.

by Anonymousreply 9003/31/2013

Apparently any gay person more masculine than Nancy Reagan is considered a self hating semi-closeted tool.

by Anonymousreply 9103/31/2013

r91, that tells you what kind of freaks populate this place. It used to not be this bad, but they've driven many of the normal sane people away. This is their last refuge I guess. For them it's all about pretending that "gay" is all about their gender disorder, not same-sex attraction.

by Anonymousreply 9203/31/2013

[quote]Apparently any gay person more masculine than Nancy Reagan is considered a self hating semi-closeted tool.

Well, with that kind of over-the-top dramatic hyperbole, it's clearly not something you need to be concerned about.

by Anonymousreply 9303/31/2013

There is no such thing as a gay community. There are gay people, bi people, dudes on the DL, but they are individuals with individuals beliefs and ways of life. It is not that serious, dudes.

by Anonymousreply 9403/31/2013

There was a graphic in r90s article/blog that I liked. It said:

[quote]Bros that like to date their bros are still bros, bro.

I think there is a sort of inverse or transitory thing to be recognized here:

Gays that are bros are still gay, gays.

by Anonymousreply 9503/31/2013

R37 your point?

Should everyone be like your friends?

by Anonymousreply 9603/31/2013

I agree R85. The lesbians go on and on. They are so predictable and annoying. It's both irritating and sad. So predictable.

by Anonymousreply 9703/31/2013

At least they aren't that stupid g0y thing.

by Anonymousreply 9803/31/2013

What do the goyim have to do with anything, R98?

by Anonymousreply 9903/31/2013

Lance Bass is a Gaybro, according to his People interview.

by Anonymousreply 10003/31/2013

I'd be worried that the name would be further shortened.

"Don't stare; here come the gyros."

by Anonymousreply 10103/31/2013

This is ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 10204/01/2013

Any pics of this? I'm picturing a return of barbed wire tattoos

by Anonymousreply 10304/01/2013

Cutest gaybros ever...

by Anonymousreply 10404/01/2013

I really dont understand why some gay guys get all bent out of shape about masculine gay men. If we are supposed to believe that a femmy gay guy is is just being himself and behaving in a way that is natural for him, then the same holds true for a masculine gay guy. It's just who he is.

by Anonymousreply 10504/01/2013

Jealousy, R105.

by Anonymousreply 10604/01/2013

I'm not sure if this guy identifies as a Gaybro, but I think he's a good example.

by Anonymousreply 10704/01/2013

What? Prejudiced queers finding a new demographic to hate on? We were long due for a break.

by Anonymousreply 10804/01/2013

"Queers," r108? It is not 1991 anymore.

by Anonymousreply 10904/01/2013

These faggots need to stay away from me and other manly men who live life on the edge of sanity for the pure, testosterone-penetrating *rush* of being MEN. I do *everything* manly, and I don't need some queer muddying the waters as to what that means. Especially my beloved ballroom dancing and anal.

*big, big smile* Are my dimples showing?

by Anonymousreply 11004/01/2013

I love disco

by Anonymousreply 11104/01/2013

The guy in r107 is hot. Seems really nice too.

by Anonymousreply 11204/01/2013

Le Gaybro, c'est moi!

by Anonymousreply 11304/01/2013

Fran Drescher's husband was just like this. He was such a gaybro that he even fucked her for twenty years like a straight man.

Well, at least that's what she told me on a number of occasions after we shared a lusty, lezzie fuckfest. Scissoring is so great after a month with the ThighMaster. And it helps exfoliate the skin. It's why I still look so young!

by Anonymousreply 11404/01/2013

CONFORM OR DIE!

by Anonymousreply 11504/01/2013

[quote]They're just another of many, many gay subcultures. I have no problem with it except this crowd seems to think it's somehow better than all the other gay guys which just makes them sort of sad.

In other words.

The very definition of a QUEEN ( a gay man who thinks he's better than everyone else)

or Mean Girls (a crowd that thinks they are better than everyone else)

I smell a massive inferiority complex from the femmy fags.

by Anonymousreply 11604/01/2013

[quote]The only problem with Gaybros is when they put down other types of gay men.

Bitch PLEASE!

by Anonymousreply 11704/01/2013

Another Gaybro coming out video. I fail to see how this subset of people is dividing us - needless controversy strummed up by trouble makers. Welcome one and all.

by Anonymousreply 11804/01/2013

HuffPost Live host Ahmed Shihab-Eldin is always presenting the gay content on huffpo and he sure pings.

by Anonymousreply 11904/01/2013

All it takes for HuffPo or the media to claim something is a controversy is to find some whiney person who feels slighted by the smallest thing. The objectors are nothing but professional crybabies.

by Anonymousreply 12004/01/2013

Who gives a fuck? Just be happy with what you like and go after it. If that's Judy and colorful martinis, great. If that's the Lakers and a power tool, great. Who the hell cares? Why does every last thing need a label?

by Anonymousreply 12104/01/2013

This whole thread shows just how much self doubt and insecurity there is in the gays.

Not that the decade of previous hostility didn't.

by Anonymousreply 12204/01/2013

So from all the pics put forth, all of guys with short hair, it would appear Gaybro is the the early '10s what Clone was to the late '70s.

Good luck with that.

by Anonymousreply 12304/01/2013

R123 I don't know where you live, but most men, gay or straight, have short hair today.

by Anonymousreply 12404/01/2013

The gaybro is gthe personification of the idea that gays cannot be stereotyped or identified by looks and/or stereotypical behavior.

So a group of gays emerges that proves them right, and GAYS hate on them?

Come on.

Oh dear.

Mary.

Hell IK know all these words and I'm straight.

by Anonymousreply 12504/01/2013

It's the basic fear of something new.

Oh, it's going to be bad, because this category got just invented to separate the popular 'straight acting' jock gays from the unpopular femme fags, the drag queens, the sick fetish fucks, the bathhouse trolls, and the sad ol' leather daddies.

But really, why is it so bad that some guys want their own identity within the gay community?

There always were gay jocks, nerds, etc. Nothing's changed.

by Anonymousreply 12604/01/2013

r126 Sure, fear of the new. Faggot asswipe.

by Anonymousreply 12704/01/2013

R126,

As a rule, mos straights are more comfortbale with openly gay men than with closeted men, because they know what they're dealing with.

Unfortunately, many gays remain deeply closeted as a means of ambushing their straight targets. THat *you* might not do this to other men doesn't mean that other men haven't done this to *me*.

Gays who pretend to be straight are often sexual simbe3balls, and it's not other gays they are preying upon.

by Anonymousreply 12804/01/2013

Back when AOL used to reset every morning at 7am, the first chat room on the list (fought for every day) was often "Construction M4M"

by Anonymousreply 12904/01/2013

All this fuss over a Reddit group?

by Anonymousreply 13004/01/2013

R126 I think a previous poster may be on to something when they said it was motivated by jealousy. The critics are jealous that there are gay men out there who can move easily in and out of the "straight world" and not get the static they may have experienced. Or maybe, deep down inside, the critics would LOVE to get with someone like a gaybro, but fear they will be rejected outright so they lash out at them (classic sour grapes syndrome). That was kind of the impression I got from the first guy in the video, the one who complained about how exclusive gaybros are and how they don't let others into their circle.

by Anonymousreply 13104/01/2013

[quote]Gays who pretend to be straight are often sexual simbe3balls,

Agreed. However it doesn't seem that gaybros pretend to be straight. If you read their postings, all of them identify as gay.

by Anonymousreply 13204/01/2013

I've always strongly believed that on the other end of the spectrum of "stereotypical gay men" (gay men who prefer a gaggle of fag-hags and work in fashion, design, artsy careers), there is a strong polar opposite but equally large amount of "manly" gay men who prefer the camaraderie of male-only professions and sports (the military, cops and firemen, construction, etc.).

It has been this way since the days of men sailing for months-on-end from Europe to the New World. What other type of men forsake months and months without women or female companionship in exchange for being in close, intimate quarters with other men?

by Anonymousreply 13304/01/2013

r131 Just NO.

The issue is that anybody would choose to define themselves as "straight acting", thus reinforcing definitions of masculinity that are untrue.

There have ALWAYS been gay men who don't fit into "queeny" or "femme" stereotypes and would be considered traditionally "masculine".

It's when these idiots, like r126 , want to use it as a way to shit all over other gay men that it becomes an issue.

by Anonymousreply 13404/01/2013

Fuck you guys are weird. A shitty consequence of being the outsider is clinging all the more to your own version of what you perceive as 'normal'.

by Anonymousreply 13504/01/2013

R134 I really didnt address that. I dont think these guys chose to be masculine any more than a femmey guy chooses to be femmy. Its just who they are. I am more curious as to why some people feel that its a bad thing or is something that divides the community.

by Anonymousreply 13604/01/2013

I think 'the Gaybros' should rename themselves 'the Ethel Mermans' and belt out 'I am what I am' in the stands at halftime!

by Anonymousreply 13704/01/2013

Delirious R131: [quote]the critics would LOVE to get with someone like a gaybro

The dog is cuter than the "gaybros" in R104. The ones who aren't the dog are just a couple of queens with short hair. I wouldn't "get with" either of them with *your* dick.

by Anonymousreply 13804/01/2013

"Gaybros" is a silly name and a completely ginned-up controversy, but if we have to be in categories, I guess that's me. Openly gay, but I feel totally out of place in the average gay bar (or bear/leather bar; I tried).

This was on my mind even before I read this thread, because I like surf and rockabilly music and the vintage-car culture, which is not a common interest among a lot of gay guys. I just got back from a big rockabilly weekender where 99.99% of the people seemed to be straight couples, and I still felt like I fit in better there than I would at an expressly gay event.

But I would never think I'm superior to guys who would prefer a Lady Gaga concert or something... it's just different tastes. And I damn sure don't think I'm superior to fem guys or anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 13904/01/2013

Knives?

by Anonymousreply 14004/01/2013

I don't think any gay man on any end of the masculine-feminine spectrum should feel superior or inferior to any other, but what I don't understand is:

Feminine gay men who feel appalled or incredulous that most gay men are attracted to masculine, manly gay men? I'm not knocking feminine guys, but for most gay men, being gay means being attracted to masculinity and manliness and that's a fact.

by Anonymousreply 14104/01/2013

There is no gaybros "trend." OP is completely making that up.

by Anonymousreply 14204/01/2013

R137, nobody but you knows what that mean. Could you use a more mainstream current metaphor?

by Anonymousreply 14304/01/2013

[quote]I'm not knocking feminine guys, but for most gay men, being gay means being attracted to masculinity and manliness and that's a fact.

No. You are quite wrong. Being gay means being attracted to men.

by Anonymousreply 14404/01/2013

I dont think that's quite right R141, it's not that "feminine gay men" "feel appalled or incredulous", it's that theyre actively ridiculed by some of the worst members of the community, men who say theyre gay but still exhibit the same fears as str8 ppl. being "feminine" is still the worst fear of many men, and coming out as gay while still keeping up this intolerance is trying to have your cake and eat it too. I don't think you can really say youre out/accepting until you accept them; having sex with other men was never as unacceptable as being considered feminine.

by Anonymousreply 14504/01/2013

r143 knew exactly what that meant. He is feigning ignorance.

by Anonymousreply 14604/01/2013

Am I the only one who reads a subtext that the gaybros apparently are suppressing their inner flaming queen?

Guys, they may just not be interested personally. Actually, not everybody grows up dialling the phone with a pencil.

by Anonymousreply 14704/01/2013

[quote]Am I the only one who reads a subtext that the gaybros apparently are suppressing their inner flaming queen?

I don't see it, but others do. It makes sense to me that if there are gay men who naturally behave in a feminine way, then there are also gay men who naturally behave in a masculine way. If we can accept that there are some straight men who have feminine traits and some who have masculine traits, it shouldn't be a problem seeing the same could occur with gay men.

[quote]Actually, not everybody grows up dialling the phone with a pencil.

Seeing what age group gaybros are, I would say its safe NONE of them grew up dialing a phone, with a pencil or otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 14804/01/2013

almost all men have some feminine traits, straights included. Look at European men for the best example, because they are not so intent on putting their masculinity on steroids the way American men are. All men can be feminine at times, especially, yes especially, gay men as gays naturally have more feminine characteristics than straight men. I don't care how butch a gay you are, you have a little bit more woman in your nature than most straight guys do. Go ahead and flame, but you know it's true.

by Anonymousreply 14904/01/2013

I am different from straight men. I can't throw a ball to save my life. I like to suck cock. I have a gay accent. I couldn't be a "gaybro" if I wanted to, but that's also partly because I'm just too old to be a "bro" of any sort.

I have a set of straight male friends who wouldn't be caught dead wearing a baseball cap in either direction, TYVM, who think being a bro is the same as being a douche. They can't believe there are gay guys who want to call themselves "bro." I was explaining this to them on Sunday.

One of them said he thought it was about time a trend went from the straights to the gays instead of the gays to the straights, even a douchey trend like "bro."

If people are comfortable being gaydouches, why not let them? Who is being hurt by their posturing?

by Anonymousreply 15004/01/2013

I like where R150 is going. Maybe they should be called..."Gouches"?

by Anonymousreply 15104/01/2013

[quote] Look at European men for the best example, because they are not so intent on putting their masculinity on steroids

Oh they put it out there big time, but they pair it up. Nothing seems more macho than bullfighting until you see what they are wearing. Or the Highland Games where big beefy men in skirts compete to see who can throw a telephone pole the furthest.

by Anonymousreply 15204/01/2013

[quote]it was about time a trend went from the straights to the gays instead of the gays to the straights,

Wow, I never thought of it that way. Its actually kind of cool when you think about it.

by Anonymousreply 15304/01/2013

You can smell the priss on r149, r150.

by Anonymousreply 15404/01/2013

Would anyone have heard of them if not for the Hupp Post article?

(are there nude photos?)

by Anonymousreply 15504/01/2013

You can smell the "My, Aren't WE Perceptive of the Obvious?" on R154.

Must be a gouche.

by Anonymousreply 15604/01/2013

How do you tell the difference between a Gaybro and a Gouche? Personally, I think some Gouches have rat tails and lines shaved on the sides of their heads. AND they don't like musicals.

by Anonymousreply 15704/01/2013

Sometimes when you meet the so-called self-proclaimed "straight acting" types they are kind of MARY!

by Anonymousreply 15804/01/2013

The gouches with lines shaved on the sides of their heads only like teknomusik, which I guess implies doing drugs all weekend long. Oh, and what did someone say, barbed wire arm tattoos?

by Anonymousreply 15904/01/2013

Lines shaved in the side of the head may also mean they just fell out of a time machine.

by Anonymousreply 16004/01/2013

funny, R160

by Anonymousreply 16104/01/2013

What's up with the short hair thing someone keeps chattering about. Don't most men have short hair?

by Anonymousreply 16204/01/2013

Not as short as in R104. I sure don't, anyway.

by Anonymousreply 16304/01/2013

gay but super into pussy...love tits in my face and such.

Deal with it.

by Anonymousreply 16404/01/2013

This is illustrative. r50 something to r160. Why are you fighting? To a large part of the population you have something in common. You're fags.

by Anonymousreply 16504/02/2013

r150 I'll say is actually right. Idiot frat boy types are the worst of het guys, it's dumb for the gays to think they have a corner on what's masculine.

by Anonymousreply 16604/02/2013

Dudes just bring dudes. Nothing special

by Anonymousreply 16804/02/2013

I assure you, R167, I had a gay accent long before I realized I was something called "gay." There's nothing "learned" about it, though I will grant you it's a "cultural oddity."

I would be more inclined to believe that a gay guy with a straight accent is a practitioner of "learned" behavior, presumably in order to not be perceived as one of the "cultural oddity" you obviously so detest.

I agree with you about the "sneering bitchiness." I was so surprised when I started meeting guys and having sex with them how hateful some of them could be.

I spent a year or two on the BQE (Bitchy, Queeny Expressway) in my 20s. I decided it was because I never got to be a "mean girl" in HS. I'm glad I gave it up.

by Anonymousreply 16904/02/2013

I think the more interesting divisions in the Gay community is who is femmy or who is a dude who happens to suck dick, but in social class and education.

Trashy is trashy, from the trailer park queen to the ex-military gaybro (face it, many of these guys couldn't get into a university, much less a fraternity).

We're not going to see any of the likes of these crowds in a boardroom with the 1% anytime soon. Yet there are now plenty homos in Hollywood, Wall Street, Madison Avenue, Silicon Valley and even Detroit.

by Anonymousreply 17004/02/2013

I support the Bros.

by Anonymousreply 17204/03/2013

Some of you are just plain bigoted. Mind-boggling clinging to stereotypes.

I wonder if you're racist and sexist as well?

Anyone care to volunteer an answer?

by Anonymousreply 17304/03/2013

r173, I'll volunteer that you're annoying, vague and unclear about whom you're trashing.

by Anonymousreply 17404/03/2013

people misuse the word bigot so much that people just laugh when you call them that now.

by Anonymousreply 17504/08/2013

fuck drag elderqueens!

GO GAYBROS!

by Anonymousreply 17604/08/2013

This fight is so stupid. There are innate, biological differences between men and women, but liking sports, video games, tech are not some of them. Those things are not "masculine" or owned by straight men. And women, straight and gay, who are also into those things are not any more masculine than gay men who love theater and Streisand.

by Anonymousreply 17704/08/2013

While liking aggressive team sports (American football, hockey, basketball) does not automatically make one masculine, it certainly is strongly associated with masculinity in our culture. When a guy plays or watches lots of football, he is assumed to be masculine until he displays some type of non-masculine attributes.

by Anonymousreply 17804/08/2013

If the LGBT community is divided over something like this then they only have themselves to blame. Why would anyone care what a bunch of people who you dont know, will probably never meet and have no impact on your life do? Making a big fuss over something that is totally inconsequential is the very definition of drama queen.

by Anonymousreply 17904/08/2013

r178, the point is that that's crap and we should be debunking it, not fighting about who fits in and who doesn't.

by Anonymousreply 18004/08/2013

Can a subgroup exist without people getting upset that they are not included? Sometimes people just want to hang with similar peeps.

by Anonymousreply 18104/10/2013

This is all so dumb.

by Anonymousreply 18204/10/2013

[quote]Can a subgroup exist without people getting upset that they are not included?

Thats what struck me after seeing the first guy in the video. His issue seemed to be that they are "exclusive" and dont include others who dont share the same interests. To which I can help but say, "well, duh!". That's what people do. They gravitate towards those they share a common bond.

by Anonymousreply 18304/10/2013

They sound immature to me.

by Anonymousreply 18404/10/2013

R184 Yes, that has already been established. They are primarily in their 20s.

by Anonymousreply 18504/10/2013

"I hate women," my ex-boyfriend once told me. I had met him through OKCupid. On his profile he described himself as "straight-acting" and a "regular guy who just likes guys." When it came to the men he was attracted to, he had little patience for femininity. But it turned out that even I, in the closet at the time and with stereotypical "straight" mannerisms, couldn't live up to his standards. Getting teary-eyed when saying "I love you"? I had unacceptably "feminine eyes." Cuddling? No way. And apparently I have a "gaycent," as he informed me.

It's possible that my ex was like this because, despite being out, he might not have been comfortable accepting his own sexuality, perhaps a vestige of his Arizonan, Southern Baptist heritage. Such insecurities might also explain the physical, verbal and emotional abuse I experienced from him.

My ex was many things, but he was not a gaybro.

"I hate women," my ex-boyfriend once told me. I had met him through OKCupid. On his profile he described himself as "straight-acting" and a "regular guy who just likes guys." When it came to the men he was attracted to, he had little patience for femininity. But it turned out that even I, in the closet at the time and with stereotypical "straight" mannerisms, couldn't live up to his standards. Getting teary-eyed when saying "I love you"? I had unacceptably "feminine eyes." Cuddling? No way. And apparently I have a "gaycent," as he informed me.

It's possible that my ex was like this because, despite being out, he might not have been comfortable accepting his own sexuality, perhaps a vestige of his Arizonan, Southern Baptist heritage. Such insecurities might also explain the physical, verbal and emotional abuse I experienced from him.

My ex was many things, but he was not a gaybro.

But beyond the funny name lies a very deep, substantive and complex community. Gaybros raises money for charity and promotes sexual health education, it's a safe space for talking about abusive relationships, and it's the go-to place to talk about sports while also talking about who the hottest guy on the team is.

Though this community may be frat-inspired, it is not elitist. Anyone can join with a click of a button. Nor is it exclusive to a particular type of guy or set of traits. I learned this firsthand when I wrote to Alex DeLuca, the founder of Gaybros, about a friend of mine who was hesitant about joining Gaybros. Despite sharing all the interests of your typical gaybro, he had avoided the community. The reason? As he put it, "I have a voice of a 12-year-old girl." Alex's response was simple and to the point: "GET HIM ON GAYBROS NOW!"

It's also important to note that these emerging subcultures of the gay community aren't spelling the demise of the unity of the LGBT community. This is not segmentation of the gay community any more than forming a social club in school is the segmentation of the student body. Rather, this is the inevitable result of the progress of gay rights and gay acceptance. We've reached a critical mass where gay men are seeking out communities that aren't just gay-centric but cater to their particular tastes and interests.

My ex may not have been a gaybro, but I wish he had been. As a member of the Gaybros community, he could have learned the error in his negative attitude toward all things "feminine." And maybe in the process he'd have learned to quell whatever demons caused him to be so abusive.

by Anonymousreply 18604/15/2013

It’s a snowy Saturday night in Boston, and the bros are moving in pack formation. As we trudge through the fresh powder toward South End, the 10 or so guys I’m walking with jostle and joke their way forward through the frigid air, bouncing with that particular surge of giddy energy you sometimes get when you’re hanging out with people you have never met in real life.

As members of Gaybros—a Reddit-based community for gay guys with traditionally manly interests like sports, hunting, and beer—the large majority of their bonding takes place through comment threads under topics like “Ron Swanson vs. James Bond” and “My Gay Card Has Been Revoked.” But in cities like Boston, New York, L.A., Toronto, and even London, they try to regularly “meet-up” at a local restaurant or bar, exchanging Reddit’s upvotes and downvotes for proper handshakes and side-hugs. These “IRL” encounters can, understandably, feel awkward at first, as this one did when we had all gathered for dinner earlier in the evening at a crowded Italian cafeteria. Much of the conversation revolved around how the so-called bartender had asked if seltzer was a spirit. But bros being bros, the group made the best of their over-salted pasta and soda-fountain tap water, and we were quickly on our way to a more dependable source of alcohol.

“Where are we going again?” I ask, dodging drifts and shivering from under-preparedness. “To Fritz!” someone I’m too cold to look toward explains, referencing the city’s premiere gay sports bar. Once past the middle-aged bouncer’s baritone “evening, gentlemen,” I could see why. If the Gaybro’s mission statement is “a place for guys to get together and talk about, well, guy stuff. Sports, video games, military issues, grilling, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, TV, movies, and more,” Fritz is their ideal arena. The decor is classic pub, all dark woods and vintage trophies, but with a decidedly gay twist: Look even briefly at the house-made baseball and football player posters decorating the walls, and more than sportsmanlike appreciation for the athletic male form quickly becomes apparent. Advertisement

From my perch by the corner coat pile, I survey the scene: Gay men of an impressive range of age, race, attractiveness, body type, and ball-cap embroidery shake hands and strike up conversations. There’s a sweet couple in front of me: One’s sporty, the tight-fitting navy cotton of his Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt coordinating well with his olive-tinted biceps; the other is channeling New England WASP, skinny and buttoned-up, with pragmatically framed glasses. Farther down the table, a larger guy laughs loudly at something a twinky type said, and later, a very cute boy, possibly Arab, draws eyes as he pulls up a chair. He has brought along a solidly built and more maturely handsome AIDS researcher with whom I spend a considerable amount of time discussing the decline of gay social spaces like the one we’re in.

Given that the few gay spaces that do remain are almost always segregated by race, age, and sexual type (twink, bear, leather, etc.), the diversity on display among the bros was remarkable. Also worthy of note was the lack of excessive cruisiness within the group; though gay men almost never stop flirting entirely, this was clearly not, as multiple bros would tell me, a “dating service.” However, that’s not to say the evening was entirely PG. After the first round had been drained, I overhear my friend Jake—who I only found out was a Gaybro sympathizer after starting in on this story and whose husband, Tim Karu, is one of the group’s moderators—respond saucily to a comment about football players’ jock straps: “Now that’s a game I could get into!”

Around 10:30, the bros finish off their drinks and migrate yet again, this time dominating a whole stretch of sidewalk, to a place with the forthright name Club Café. The entitled New Yorker in me balked at the cover-charge, and, in any case, the aggregate level of tipsiness hinted that it might be time to let the crew have its fun unsurveilled. Plus, I thought I’d earned a break from the pressure of all those firm handshakes: The couple I was crashing with had invited me to a gay house party promising more familiar accoutrements like crudités and Robyn music, so I Google-mapped my way across Boston from bro to 'mo. When I slipped into the handsome and rhythmically thudding townhome, young professionals in J. Crew boots like mine matched my gaze. Not a “masc” guy in sight.

But as I glanced around at the Crate & Barrel brand of gayness on display in this open-concept, Hindu deity-studded living room, I felt, not relief, but a twinge of doubt. The guys I had just left would clearly not fit in here—but was that their loss or ours?

***

“You need to start using brah in conversation.”

So read an instant message from a colleague when he learned that I was going to be chilling with the Gaybros. I grimaced; the mere sight of the word in the chat box elicited a kind of gag reflex in my throat, not to mention my soul. Actually saying it—or dude, or man, or, God forbid, buddy—and not imploding under the pressure of masculine performance ineptitude seemed, well, impossible. My interlocutor was mostly joking, of course, but the kernel of truth hit home: I was probably going to have to butch-up my vocabulary a bit if I wanted to hang with, much less hope to understand, a group of fellow gay men who would willingly call themselves “bros.”

When you look up the term Gaybro on Urban Dictionary, two extremely telling definitions appear. The first—“a gay man who acts masculine and is interested in guy stuff like sports, video games, military issues, grilling, knives, gear, working out, gadgets, tech, etc ...”—seems to have been lifted from the Gaybros mission statement. The second is less neutral: “Young masculine homosexual males who exhibit no effeminate characteristics or interests and make a point of going on about how 'normal' they are. Previously they would have referred to themselves as straight-acting but that's so 2005. Gaybros have no gay friends because they can't relate to other gay people. This is something else they insist on telling everyone.”

by Anonymousreply 18704/15/2013

From the slate article in R187, re: [bold]bros[/bold]: [quote]There’s a sweet couple in front of me: One’s sporty, the tight-fitting navy cotton of his Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt coordinating well with his olive-tinted biceps; the other is channeling New England WASP, skinny and buttoned-up, with pragmatically framed glasses.

[quote]From the slate article in R187, re: [bold]gays[bold]: The couple I was crashing with had invited me to a gay house party promising more familiar accoutrements like crudités and Robyn music, so I Google-mapped my way across Boston from bro to 'mo. When I slipped into the handsome and rhythmically thudding townhome, young professionals in J. Crew boots like mine matched my gaze. Not a “masc” guy in sight.

So A&F makes you a bro, New England WASP (including "pragmatically framed glasses") is bro, but J. Crew boots are "gay"?

No wonder the goyim are so confusing. They don't make any sense.

And what the fuck are "pragmatically framed glasses"?

by Anonymousreply 18804/15/2013

.[/bold]

by Anonymousreply 18904/15/2013

You can't be a bro and listen to house music, unless it is house-infused rap. Robyn is so not broish. Just sayin...

by Anonymousreply 19004/15/2013

pragmatically framed glasses[/bold]

by Anonymousreply 19104/15/2013

[bold]how do we turn off the bold?[/bold] Did that do it?

by Anonymousreply 19204/15/2013

Did that do it?

by Anonymousreply 19304/15/2013

how did it bold?

by Anonymousreply 19404/16/2013

You type the word bold in [ ] brackets before the thing you want to embolden. You end it with /bold , also in brackets.

HTH.

[bold]bold[/bold] not bold

by Anonymousreply 19504/16/2013

This kind of topic is as old as the hills. What keeps it coming back is the new crop of people who weren't around the last gp-round.

by Anonymousreply 19604/16/2013

Bros like this

by Anonymousreply 19704/17/2013

Why keep their socks and underwear on, R197? It looks retarded, and so do they.

by Anonymousreply 19804/17/2013

r198, I love athletic socks and so do a lot. It connotes athleticism and masculinity (athletic socks). Young athletic dudes are very into their ankle socks. Moreover, many of us don't want to see bare feet and find them repulsive. That is why ankle socks are popular in male-male adult movies.

by Anonymousreply 19904/17/2013

Ugh. I hate wearing socks. I can't believe anyone thinks they're a turn-on.

The bros/goyim in that picture look like they said "Hey, let's stay home tonight and see who can dress like the bigger douchebags."

by Anonymousreply 20004/17/2013

Gaybro Power

by Anonymousreply 20104/25/2013

" Does The 'Gaybros' Trend Divide The LGBT Community?"

Nope. It takes all kinds. Carry on with your bad self. Do what you feel has always been the credo of the gay community.

by Anonymousreply 20204/25/2013

Jason Collins is a Gay Bro.

by Anonymousreply 20304/29/2013

Joan Collins is a gay icon.

by Anonymousreply 20404/29/2013

Jason, not Joan, dude.

by Anonymousreply 20504/30/2013

Do people ask if drag queens or gays into female singers divide the community? Why is it only divisive when masculine guys develop and identity or brotherhood with each?

by Anonymousreply 20605/06/2013

Its just a trend like bears or castro clones. Eventually it will just boil down to a haircut, a style of shirt and a bar where they all congregate.

Later bros. (see it's a simple as that)

by Anonymousreply 20705/06/2013

I find it more offensive that a small part of the gay community/percentage of gays that is more on the camp, flaming queen side accuses other gay men of "acting straight". That's what I call bigoted. As if gay automatically meant being a camp queen with specific interestes.

If anything those intolerant queens devide the gay community. I think the majority of gays who are just regular blokey types have finally had enough of always being reduced to gay clichés and being accused of "acting straight" by both camp gays and straigh people who have bought into those stereotype that we see in the media all the time so it is not a surprise some will now make a point of not fitting into those stereotypes

by Anonymousreply 20805/06/2013

R169 And this is exactely what pisses so many gay men who are just regular dudes off. You claim that a gay man is born with a "gay accent" and that any normal dude behavior is learned and him acting straight. WTF?

[quote]There are innate, biological differences between men and women, but liking sports, video games, tech are not some of them. Those things are not "masculine" or owned by straight men.

Bullshit. It's natural for male group animals to engage in competitive, aggressive "games" and fights, war and war substitudes, something we turned into organized sports, video games. It's the most natural urge a man could have, regardless of being gay or straight. Tech is more of a cultural things when humans became hunters, made tools, developed agriculture and then economies, bigger cities but games, fights, sports, compeding with each other, bragging with your strength, all that is natural for males. That doesn't mean that a guy who is into theater and doesn't like sports can't be masculine, though.

by Anonymousreply 20905/06/2013

"If anything those intolerant queens devide the gay community."

If anything, idiot queens who don't know how to spell are destroying the gay community.

by Anonymousreply 21005/06/2013

I hate it when gay males assume that every bi or gay dude is okay with their projection of femininity on them just because they are same-sex interested. For instance, on here, some guys presume you are okay with them calling you "girl," "girlfriend," etc. And if they get upset, they will hurl "queen" or similar gender-based insults on you in a minute. Most non-fem guys are very offended by any male that slightly suggests they are less than masculine. Perhaps, masculine guys segregate because they don't want to have their manhood challenged just because of their orientation. They just want to be dudes who happen to like dudes.

by Anonymousreply 21105/06/2013

r20, you don't get out much among mainstream people do you. If you did, you would realize the word is often used by people over 25, male and female. It's not 1983 anymore.

by Anonymousreply 21305/10/2013

Bro Sports Camp

by Anonymousreply 21405/20/2013

[quote]Most non-fem guys are very offended by any male that slightly suggests they are less than masculine.

Wouldn't you say, "bro," that a basic characteristic of real masculinity is a thicker skin than the "very offended" "non-fem guys" you describe above?

by Anonymousreply 21505/23/2013

r212, you are why they hate us. So sickening and annoying you are.

by Anonymousreply 21605/23/2013

There you go again, "bro," with that sissy-thin skin of yours. "Oh, boo-hoo, those bullies are making fun of us 'bros' again. Waaaaah!"

by Anonymousreply 21705/23/2013

Oh, you're so stupid, R219. What you say makes no sense.

by Anonymousreply 22005/23/2013

Aw... poor upset e-ffeminate at r219. Did someone from grindr reject you at the door for being gender problematic?

by Anonymousreply 22105/23/2013

I agree with R217 and R219. Anyone who gets upset about what strangers say about them on an anonymous internet board has issues. Men who are comfortable in their own skin dont give a shit.

by Anonymousreply 22205/23/2013

Twelve guesses (at least) who R216 is. Poor, poor, pitiful goy.

Also, in R220, I meant to say how stupid R218 is, not R219. R219 is a cool and sensible guy. And that's "guy," not "goy."

by Anonymousreply 22305/23/2013

R216, R218, and R220 may think they're "masculine bros" but they sure got the stereotypical bitchy, nasty queen thing going on big time.

And R221, your post reeks of an elementary school yard taunt. In addition, that you equate picking up anonymous strangers for sex as some hallmark of accomplishment and masculinity only shows you for the case of arrested development that you probably are.

by Anonymousreply 22405/23/2013

Bros rock

by Anonymousreply 22505/24/2013

I don't see what the issue is. You don't have to be a screaming, disco-diving queen to be gay, for one. Second, there's nothing wrong with being/like masculine. That so many gay men feel threatened by someone who isn't a Lady Gaga, lisping, wrist flapping in-your-face homosexual and instantly throws out phrases like "closeted" or "self-loathing" shows how insecure that group is. This is precisely why people gravitating towards GayBros feel marginalized: because if you aren't fitting the cartoon stereotype of a gay man, you're not welcome in the gay community. I face this prejudice every day from people who ridicule me for not being attracted to feminine men, or not wanting to have open relationships or engage in 3-ways or orgies, watersports or drugs. I have no problem with people that do that, nor do I attempt to change them, but these activities and mannerisms are not for me. I have no interests in them and have a different set of values that does not have to be the same as the people that choose to engage in those activities. There is nothing wrong with me because I'd rather listen to rock than show tunes or Rhianna. There's nothing wrong with me because I wear Levis instead of Prada. But there is something wrong with the gay community attacking its own because what and who they are attracted to is not inline with what the community at large deems acceptable.

I am attracted to masculine men and masculine things. This does not make me self hating or homophobic, and I've never been in the closet as an adult. This also does not mean that I am judging men who are considered to be feminine. Lispy doesn't attract me, deep voices do. To put it another way, some people like steak, some people like chicken, and there's nothing wrong with either.

So if you're threatened by a group like GayBros, I suggest you do some soul searching, ask yourself why, and generally just grow up. These nasty, catty comments are why people like me are driven away from the community at large, and why we feel like we have nothing in common with it. We aren't trying to change you, but you sure seem intent on changing us. Tolerance indeed.

by Anonymousreply 22605/25/2013

James English R226:[quote]This does not mean that I am judging men who are considered to be feminine.

Dear James, go back and read what you wrote, if you really believe the above statement to be true. Keep reading what you wrote until you realize that "judging men who are considered to be feminine" would appear to be what you do all day long.

by Anonymousreply 22705/25/2013

So sad that gay men are still so self-hating. "Gaybros" are such fakes and flakes.

by Anonymousreply 22805/25/2013

R227: It seems your critical reading skills are somewhat lacking, and you are simply snipping out of my commentary what supports your view. I said I was not attracted to feminine men or those who engaged in what would be considered the stereotype. This is not the same thing as judging. I understand that you are more than likely very insecure about your own place in the gay community, hence your comment and your need to pass judgement on me.

Let me repeat: there is a difference between judging and not being attracted to. Kindly learn this difference before you yourself make a judgmental retort to someone else. I live and let live, and I do not impose my values on anyone else. What I see in this thread is bunch of catty men demanding that I conform to their vision of what "gay" should be, and I'm sorry, but I'm not interested, and neither am I attracted to this kind of behavior or thinking. You are free to be who you are, and so am I. We do not have to agree with each other, we don't have to like each other, but at the same time, neither of us have a right to demand that one conform to the other. So please, before you respond, explore how YOU feel about YOURSELF, and ask YOURSELF why you reacted so negatively to my comment. YOUR attitude is what is driving me away from a very unwelcoming gay community, filled with people who call me homophobic because I'm attracted to masculine men, am myself masculine, and not interested in dating a man who hisses his S's like a snake. Would I be friends with that man? Absolutely, and without hesitation. I'm simply not attracted to that, and men who behave that way have decided that this means I'm a self hating homosexual. Would I be a self-hating brunette if I preferred blond men? A self-hating caucasian if I preferred men of colour? Would I have raging hatred for oranges if I preferred bananas? No. But I suppose from the banana's perspective it's being unfairly singled out for rejection.

So quite frankly, you're off the mark, and clearly threatened by my commentary. That's sad. Go have a cry, you'll feel better. But not everyone has to like you, and not everyone has to act like you, and finally, not everyone will be attracted to you in life. And men who are masculine and attracted to the masculine are not self-hating, they are simply being who they are and engaging in what they like. You have no right to judge that nor be critical, nor demand that people change to suit your vision of "gay." I submit to you that it's your own self-hatred that leads you to pass judgement on anyone who describes themselves as a "GayBro."

by Anonymousreply 22905/25/2013

You cannot divide what was never united.

by Anonymousreply 23005/25/2013

I saw two queens in Whole Foods today and I just know they thought no one would guess, because they were bros. Or so they thought. But they were more 'mo than bro.

by Anonymousreply 23205/27/2013

[quote]Would I be a self-hating brunette if I preferred blond men? A self-hating caucasian if I preferred men of colour?

No, but if you're white and express an interest in Caucasians, you'll surely be labeled racist.

Speaking of race, this whole controversy remimds me of the animosity between lighter- and darker- skinned blacks. Ultimately, we're all in the same boat.

If it's any consolation to the GayBros, the longest running series of threads I've ever seen on DL are the Footballers in Love threats. With over 34,000 posts, I'd say there are at least as many DLers who share your interests as those who worship the singing divas.

Hell, these threads have gotten me to follow soccer, a sport I had little interest in previously.

Try to keep an open mind, folks. To the world, gays are gays, whether you're a footballer or a flamer.

by Anonymousreply 23305/27/2013

not really, r233, people do distinguish, but if that makes you feel better....

by Anonymousreply 23405/27/2013

According to this group of boys, gay is a legitimate, if marginalized, social identity. If a man is gay, there may be a chance he could be considered masculine by other men (Connell, 1995). David, a handsome white senior dressed smartly in khaki pants and a white button-down shirt said, ‘Being gay is just a lifestyle. It’s someone you choose to sleep with. You can still throw around a football and be gay.’ In other words there is a possibility, however slight, that a boy can be gay and masculine. To be a fag is, by definition, the opposite of masculine, whether or not the word is deployed with sexualized or non-sexualized meanings. In explaining this to me, Jamaal, an African-American junior, cited the explanation of popular rap artist, Eminem: Although I don’t like Eminem, he had a good definition of it. It’s like taking away your title. In an interview they were like, ‘you’re always capping on gays, but then you sing with Elton John.’ He was like ‘I don’t mean gay as in gay’.

This is what Riki Wilchins calls the ‘Eminem Exception. Eminem explains that he doesn’t call people “faggot” because of their sexual orien- tation but because they’re weak and unmanly’ (Wilchins, 2003).

by Anonymousreply 23505/28/2013

Why call them "gaybros?" Why not just bros?

by Anonymousreply 23605/30/2013

How large is this trend? Yeah, a lot of bi and gay guys are masculine and mainstream, but they don't call themselves "gaybros."

by Anonymousreply 23706/03/2013

I just spent two hours reading the Gaybros board (is that what you call the Reddit forums? I'm a novice). It seems like a community of smart, sincere, funny guys who are totally comfortable being gay and just want to talk about sports, beer, cars and figuring out life in general.

Most of them are in their twenties and seem reasonably happy and positive without being unrealistic or fake...supportive of each other and giving each other good advice when it's asked for. It seems like anyone who was snobbish or exclusionary wouldn't last long on the board.

I wish something like Gaybros had been around when I was in my twenties, just starting to explore gay bars, wondering why I wasn't having any fun and why "everyone" else seemed to be into fashion, dance music and "divas."

Hell, I'd like to find something like Gaybros for guys in their forties.

by Anonymousreply 23811/18/2013

no

by Anonymousreply 23911/20/2013

There are speech teachers who can teach an obviously gay man how to talk like straight men. Acting coaches can train them on how to walk like straights do. I know they can be expensive, but a lot of gay men can afford them but don't take advantage of that. It makes no sense to me.

by Anonymousreply 24011/20/2013

Well, I don't like watching sports or care to know how to fix an engine on the one hand, and don't care about the latest gossip on Lady Gaga or have a shrine to Cher in my bedroom or want to go shopping at Bloomies on the other. So, once again, with this bros stuff I still just don't fit in. I'm neither here nor there. Where is my peer group?

by Anonymousreply 24111/20/2013

"Does The 'Gaybros' Trend Divide The LGBT Community?"

No. We have always been all kinds, every type. Butch and nelly, closeted and out, and everything in between.

Next.

by Anonymousreply 24312/27/2013

Why did the asshole at R242 find it necessary to bump this ridiculous thread?

by Anonymousreply 24412/27/2013

Why does this ridiculous thread even exist?

by Anonymousreply 24512/27/2013

Butch? I don't think masculine dudes want to be called that subculture word. "Masculine" is sufficient.

by Anonymousreply 24612/27/2013

d

by Anonymousreply 24805/20/2014

no

by Anonymousreply 25007/17/2014

Masculinity is popular

by Anonymousreply 25107/24/2014

Dudebros are hot

by Anonymousreply 25208/20/2014

Why Obama calling David Cameron ‘bro’ isn’t necessarily a compliment Arwa Mahdawi

Let’s be real, David Cameron has a major man crush on Barack Obama. For years he has been trotting after the president doing whatever it takes to form a “special relationship” with the guy. They’ve taken bad-taste selfies together, played bad ping-pong together, and spent hours chatting on the phone. Now, Cameron has exclusively revealed to the Mail on Sunday that all that bonding has paid off and, sometimes, Potus calls him “bro”.

Cameron is clearly chuffed by this appellation. He thinks it’s a compliment. So, apparently, does the Mail on Sunday, which described the colloquialism as “far better than George W Bush’s patronising ‘Yo, Blair’”. But I’m not entirely sure it is a compliment. Yo, Cameron, before you feel too flattered, I suggest you take a look at what “bro” actually means.

The classification of bros, it should be noted, is always context-specific. In Silicon Valley they take the form of skinny brogrammers, in New York they’re frat boys turned investment bankers, and in the UK they’re a douchebaggy evolution of “lads”. But despite these geographic variations, a “bro” tends to signify an unapologetically obnoxious and casually misogynistic white male who hangs out with a homogeneous group of other bros. This last point is important: the bro is a pack animal and thrives only in the company of others like himself. The other key point is that the modern bro is usually white; like “douchebag”, the word has acquired a clear racial component.

Of course, the whiteness of the modern “bro” is somewhat ironic considering the term stems from black culture. While the word has existed as a colloquial abbreviation of “brother” for centuries, it wasn’t until the 20th century, when it became part of the African-American vernacular, that “bro” became a signifier of non-familial kinship. Slavery tore generations of African-American families apart; calling someone “brother” or “bro” was a way to acknowledge your ties in a community not of shared blood, but of shared bloodshed. Black Rage, a seminal psychiatric study of the effects of slavery, released in 1968, notes: “Any black man in a white environment can establish a relationship with another black man by a … salutation such as ‘Hey, bro’.” Advertisement

Following the popularisation of “bro” in black culture came the inevitable appropriation of the term by white culture. Encino Man, a really bad 1990s comedy about some Californian teenagers who find a caveman in their backyard, is peppered with white guys calling each other “bro”. In the past decade, the TV show How I Met Your Mother propelled bros further into the white pop culture via a main character who lived religiously by the “bro code”.

In recent years, the word “bro” seems to have sprawled aggressively across the lexicon. This probably has something to do with the construction of the word itself; “bro” is a sort of linguistic Lego, attaching itself with a satisfying click to form all manner of portmanteaux. There are bromances, brogrammers, bro-bibles, bro-hugs, gaybros, bro-country, brohemian rhapsodies and bro on. It also lends itself to terrible puns. Further, the cultural appropriation of “bro” is now so complete that it’s almost exclusively associated with white guys. You can be a black or brown bro, but only when flanked by a largely white social group. You know, like in the beer commercials. This has resulted in a certain tension when it comes to inter-racial uses of the term – Cameron probably shouldn’t call the president Brobama any time soon. Although, as an aside, it seems that Mitt Romney, a Mormon bro, once called Obama – the least bro president in the history of presidents – “bro” in a presidential debate.

There has been a lot of backlash to bro culture and its damaging effects on society, particularly when it comes to gender equality in Silicon Valley. Nevertheless, the much-parodied bro is often treated more as a figure of fun than a truly pernicious being. There’s something buffoonish and breakable about the bro which goes back to that pack animal characteristic. A bro is not a homophobe or a sexist or a chauvinist: a bro is the collective byproduct of casual homophobia, casual sexism, and casual chauvinism in society. The unthinking agent of a system of self-perpetuating privilege.

All of which suggests that Obama is right – Cameron is most definitely a bro.

by Anonymousreply 25301/07/2015

Straight Bros supporting Gay bros

by Anonymousreply 25401/07/2015

This thread is useless without photos.

by Anonymousreply 25501/07/2015

[quote]Butch? I don't think masculine dudes want to be called that subculture word.

True, I know what you mean, but "subculture word?" It's an effeminate word. I've NEVER seen anyone but an effeminate use it. And really, "masculine" isn't a word most people use anyway. The assumption is that a guy is going to normal -- that is, natural and unaffected in manner. No macho posturing, no prissy posturing. That's they way 95% of gay guys are. But on DL (the world headquarters of prissy promotion) you're going to hear constant propaganda otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 25601/07/2015

Yeah, whenever I see someone use the word "butch" you immediately know the person is pretty flamboyant.

It is kind of a silly word and no one who would be described as "butch" would ever think of using it. In real life, the only guys I've ever heard say it are my effeminate friends, it always makes me inwardly chuckle.

by Anonymousreply 25701/07/2015

yeah, r256. The only people who call males "butch" are effeminate. You never hear a masculine guy use the word in this context.

by Anonymousreply 25801/07/2015

The gay community is being divided & in fact, hijacked, by the mentally ill tranny element.

Which is why we need to send them packing, to do their own lobbying.

Can't say it enough. Drop the T

by Anonymousreply 25901/07/2015

bros before hoes

by Anonymousreply 26005/12/2015

This forced "trend" never trended.

by Anonymousreply 26105/12/2015

r261, it exists bigtime, but not in the way the "GayBros" experience it. Most "bi/gay bros" just are, and don't try to draw attention as a special identity. They likely are integrated into the overall "bro community," and very often don't identify themselves as "gay." A lot of them are bisexual, others rather homoflexible. They don't want to be associated with "gay" culture, and avoid anything with the label.

by Anonymousreply 26205/12/2015

Coolness

by Anonymousreply 26308/20/2015

There's a lot of insecurity in gay men because we grow up getting a lot of shit shoved at us. So when a section of gay men identify as the gaybros do, it's unsettling because you've got to ask 'do I fit in?' which I think, because of the history of insecurity, a lot of gay men reflexively will.

I don't think they're any more or less harmful than any other subtype that is adamant about how to be a true gay. There's not shortage of people happy to tell you what you can't be to fit in. These guys just tap into the insecurity more acutely because they're identifying themselves with idealized straight male characteristics.

by Anonymousreply 26408/20/2015

Is there anyone else out there that thinks the term "bros" is one of the dumbest things ever invented? Reminds me of some farting, beer swilling, meathead mechanic who would have a hard time getting with anyone, let alone a gay man. (Even if this gay man thought of himself as straight?)

by Anonymousreply 26508/20/2015

except bi/gay bros never identify themselves as "gay."

by Anonymousreply 26608/20/2015

Can't we just go back to picking on the trannies?

by Anonymousreply 26708/20/2015

Half the posts on gaybros are about drag queens, wedding decorations, low carb recipes, and mundane stories of coming out to a homophobic father.

Hence, there new sub "gaybroscirclejerk" emerged, which is pretty funny.

by Anonymousreply 26808/20/2015

r264, of fear of fitting in is a concern, don't ever go to man4man personals and apps. They are filling with guys saying "no fems, no fats, no gays, no blacks, no Asians, no skinny guys." It's just part of people expressing their preferences and indiividuality.

by Anonymousreply 26908/20/2015

BroOut

by Anonymousreply 27008/21/2015

There's no such thing. I work in a club and there is one member who was nice looking, typical male, dad bod, played tennis, squash, football, watched sports, and so forth.

At 40 he divorced his wife, lost weight, got a decent haircut (instead of the part right banker style) and then came out of the closet. He's now more flaming than Richard Simmons

by Anonymousreply 27108/21/2015

Gaybros? Oh, for fuck sakes. Nothing odder than a 40 year old, single gay man who's emotionally stunted.

by Anonymousreply 27208/21/2015

They real ones never call themselves "gaybros." It's just "bros."

by Anonymousreply 27308/21/2015

Nothing worse that a 40 year old bro.

by Anonymousreply 27408/21/2015

He's 45.

by Anonymousreply 27608/21/2015

I've had a couple of fuck buddies who were into all this garbage and both were of the "I never kiss... but will you fuck me up the ass" type.

Of course they may not have wanted to kiss because they thought I was a munter, but 1. I'm not (honestly) and 2. they weren't much to write home about in the looks department themselves.

by Anonymousreply 27708/21/2015

Straight bro just saw Dudeporn for the first time. What do you say to him?

by Anonymousreply 27808/21/2015

R277, why would you hook up with people who aren't "much in the looks department?"

by Anonymousreply 27908/21/2015

He's not straight, he's bi or gay.

by Anonymousreply 28008/21/2015

Perhaps man

by Anonymousreply 28108/21/2015

Thanks bro.

by Anonymousreply 28208/21/2015

I guess I'm a Gaybro. My two main hobbies are basketball and video games. Outside of my husband, I hardly ever hang out with other gay people though I love it when I do.

by Anonymousreply 28308/21/2015

R283, that is not remarkable. I observe legions bi and gay guys doing the same without comment all the time.

by Anonymousreply 28408/21/2015

[quote]r277, why would you hook up with people who aren't "much in the looks department?"

The short answer is that I was horny at the time and I only hooked up a few times each. But there's a long history too: I've known one since I was a kid and he was the first boy I had a crush on. He was lovely back then. I always thought he was straight until a couple of years back when I found out he was bisexual, at least (though he doesn't seem to have many girlfriends). So he was someone I'd fantasized about a lot over the years.

Of course, the reality was nothing like my dreams. There's nothing about either of the men I'm talking about that would outwardly suggest they're gay, which is obviously an attractive thing for some gay men (myself included sometimes); but in my experience there is nothing worse than sleeping with someone who doesn't kiss, has to use alcohol or other substances for courage beforehand and is completely unresponsive during sex and never reciprocates no matter how much effort and care you put in yourself. It's an unpleasant experience.

by Anonymousreply 28508/21/2015

[quote]It really sounds like a bunch of gay guys with Asbergers. If they have no friends and all their interests are things that are basically solitary such as working out or games which have rules built into them which try can understand unlike other people which calls for empathy could be a more accurate description.

Oh look, another DL armchair psychiatrist!

It has nothing to do with Aspergers, These are gay men with many straight male friends, not no friends at all. There's no mention in the article of them only being into solitary sports. I'd imagine they engage in team sports - baseball, football, basketball or soccer.

by Anonymousreply 28608/21/2015

Exactly

by Anonymousreply 28708/21/2015

And their complete unease driven by internalized homophobia can actually affect you in a negative way. You're in danger of being made to feel like you're wrong for being passionate and gay.

One of them text me the other day and even though he's non-demonstrative with men in bed, he has a fetish for wearing women's underwear, which kind of turns me off. I like men - all kinds of men; skinny, toned, muscular, all races etc - but not men in women's clothes (I have nothing against gay men wearing all kinds of clothing in real life, but in these instances it feels like something else.

by Anonymousreply 28808/21/2015

R288, don't generalize based on individual experience

by Anonymousreply 28908/21/2015

FF r291.

by Anonymousreply 29208/21/2015

Regular bro culture is so very homoerotic today

by Anonymousreply 29308/21/2015

bro, brah, dude - wtf? Who would describe themselves in such terms? A bunch of total meatheads with the intelligence of a bag of hair. Only in America...........................

by Anonymousreply 29408/21/2015

I can't stand the concept "gay community". For the love of whatever, we are not a community; we are people. Community suggets certain homogeneity that we don't have. We are diverse people who live in different places around the world. Not community but PEOPLE.

by Anonymousreply 29708/24/2015

You should start a movement then, "Drop the community".

by Anonymousreply 29808/24/2015

[quote]Fact is, 90% of gay men played with girl's toys as a kid and most of their best friends growing up were girls.

It's closer to 60%, according to long-range studies.

by Anonymousreply 29908/24/2015

I didnt play with girl toys

by Anonymousreply 30008/24/2015

Judging a kid's sexual orientation for playing with dolls is so ridiculous. Most kids, regardless of their sexual orientation have played with toys of the oposite sex or have tried some of their mother's clothes on.

Most of my girl friends loved to play with action figures and watched anime series such as Dragon Ball, yet they all are heterosexual.

by Anonymousreply 30108/24/2015

Anecdotal evidence doesn't mean much, R301. Plus gender nonconforming girls have a statistically higher likelihood of being straight than gender nonconforming boys.

by Anonymousreply 30208/24/2015

R302 One must see these studies with certain suspicion because they usually are motivated by confirmation bias. It is like the other study that tried to prove there are "gay faces".

As the APA suggests, it is better to avoid bias.

by Anonymousreply 30308/24/2015

Gay face is real. I mean it is. Gay face is very much a physical attribute associated with gay men across all races.

by Anonymousreply 30408/24/2015

not really, dude

by Anonymousreply 30508/24/2015

Sexual orientation only models your brain; not your face.

by Anonymousreply 30708/24/2015

No, gay face is real whether you choose to believe it or accept it. I don't care.

by Anonymousreply 30808/24/2015

Vivian Vance divides and conquers the gays

by Anonymousreply 30908/24/2015

evidence, r311?

by Anonymousreply 31208/24/2015

The gulf between the Bros and professional gays will only get larger as acceptance of same-sex relations increases. A lot of this generation's Bros would have been closeted or live heterosexual lives in previous eras, and have very little in common with more stereotypical gays. I think it is unrealistic to expect the two groups to hang out harmoniously with each other.

by Anonymousreply 31308/24/2015

R306 Gay Face is not real. The studies you are reading come from social science; not hard science. It only takes one neuron to see that there are all kinds of faces among homosexual men, wide jaws, rounded jaws, triangular jaws, square jaws; big noses, small noses, assymetrical noses; wide lips, thin lips, etc.

There is a lot of confirmation bias in those studies. It is just an attempt to reduce homosexual men to a bunch of supposedly homogeneous features.

by Anonymousreply 31408/25/2015

Social science is "real" science... (it uses complex statistics, control groups, and is just as quantitative as the "hard sciences" for most findings). The insecurity within "social science" that they are not "real science" has actually caused a huge problem where social scientists are now completely bogged down in quantitative analysis - and have lost the meanings of their findings.

That being said, I am not aware of any studies on "gay face" that exist. There are studies on recognizing gay people, but I have no idea what studies this person is referring to. There was an old thread on here called "scientists study gay face" that had absolutely nothing to do with "gay face." It was about the evolutionary psychology of attraction - and it studied if gay men would follow straight female patterns of attraction straight male patterns of attraction.

by Anonymousreply 31508/25/2015

I can think of a few gay couples who make Youtube videos whose faces can refute the study in a sec. Mark and Ethan; Nick and Ken; Will and RJ and a lot more. The variety of faces among those couples steadily refute the study claimed to be "hard science".

You can throw the study away now n_n

by Anonymousreply 31608/25/2015

[quote]I can think of a few gay couples who make Youtube videos whose faces can refute the study in a sec

What study are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 31708/25/2015

By the way, if you understood anything about the way social science research works, you would know that it compares means (averages), and cannot account for every human being. That's why people who are uneducated about social science call it "fake science" because they say "oh look this [single person] doesn't fit your theory - so your whole theory [based on averages of a study of 1000 people] is wrong"... it doens't work that way. Google "T-test" and go from there.

by Anonymousreply 31808/25/2015

There are studies on recognizing gay people, but I have no idea what studies this person is referring to.

It's a Czech study, but it had a small sample size of 66 volunteers (half gay and half straight).

Read the abstract in the link.

by Anonymousreply 31908/25/2015

There are studies about almost everything, but that doesn't make them true.

by Anonymousreply 32008/25/2015

[quote]There are studies about almost everything, but that doesn't make them true.

If they weren't true, they wouldn't get published in peer-reviewed journals... or if they had issues, someone would try to replicate them and fail - and publish the failure to replicate. Or, if they fucked up the methods and sampling, you could see that by reading the full study (not just the title). Or, if there are limitations to their conclusions, they would point that out in the end. That's how social science works.

Yes, people can fake data - but it's a clear way to lose your career...even with tenure.

by Anonymousreply 32108/25/2015

Gay face is exceptionally real. I see it everyday. Gay face is real.

by Anonymousreply 32208/25/2015

And, no. I don't look in the mirror.

I see gay face everyday on other men.

by Anonymousreply 32308/25/2015

I believe this definition of gay face, even though it was downvoted so much (probably because it hit some sensitive nerves).

by Anonymousreply 32408/25/2015

Gay face is real. George Takei has gay face and he's Asian. It's found in all races.

by Anonymousreply 32508/25/2015

So what causes it?

I see it around ... but I swear I don't think I have it except for a few unfortunate pictures (I can't fake smile - even straight guys who fake smile look gay).

by Anonymousreply 32608/25/2015

I think it's hormones.

by Anonymousreply 32708/25/2015

Over-wide eyes, too damn smiley, thin face -- due to lower body fat levels overall/ effects exercise especially after straight guys have stopped “trying” after marriage and settled into race towards carbface

by Anonymousreply 32808/25/2015

*especially after in comparison to straight guys who stop “trying” after marriage and settled into race towards carbface

by Anonymousreply 32908/25/2015

*ughhh

in comparison to

by Anonymousreply 33008/25/2015

Stupid comments

by Anonymousreply 33108/25/2015

Nope, but the Ts sure are about to!

by Anonymousreply 33208/25/2015

We really needed to dredge up a 2.5 year old thread to thrash out this nonsense yet again? If they, like the idiot SSA people and other gay deniers, don't want to be "gay" then fine. Let them set up their own message boards, their own communities and so on, so they can go the fuck away!

by Anonymousreply 33408/25/2015

Oh geez this is two years old?? How did it get plucked out of oblivion like that?

It's funny it was such a big deal when it emerged on reddit 2 years ago. Now that subreddit is full of gays talking about the best ways to clean if you're gonna bottom, what to wear on a date, and thirst for str8masc guys.

by Anonymousreply 33508/25/2015

Thank you R319. This is a weird study...I think it has to be replicated with a larger population.

[quote]The analysis revealed significant shape differences in faces of heterosexual and homosexual men. Homosexual men showed relatively wider and shorter faces, smaller and shorter noses, and rather massive and more rounded jaws, resulting in a mosaic of both feminine and masculine features.

and then

[quote]homosexual men were rated as more masculine than heterosexual men

weird

by Anonymousreply 33608/25/2015

R337, don't be dense. No one is forcing anyone to be anything.

by Anonymousreply 338Last Thursday at 9:55 AM

[quote]It's funny it was such a big deal when it emerged on reddit 2 years ago. Now that subreddit is full of gays talking about the best ways to clean if you're gonna bottom, what to wear on a date, and thirst for str8masc guys.

If you watch the HuffPo Live video at the link, one of their writers is calling that out as the case 2 years ago. The founder of the subreddit keeps repeating that they're just gathering around shared interests in sports and grilling and stuff, and Noah - trying not to laugh - notes several times that he doesn't see any conversations on those topics at all.

by Anonymousreply 340Last Thursday at 11:08 AM

I read the gaybros subreddit for a while, until the inevitable fag bashing started. It was the same "fem gay guys are worthless shit, who aren't really gay, and aren't really men" bullshit we've seen here from time to time.

by Anonymousreply 341Last Thursday at 11:33 AM

I wish the homophobes on this site would go to that site, R341. That seems more their scene than here.

by Anonymousreply 342Last Thursday at 11:38 AM

WW r342.

by Anonymousreply 343Last Thursday at 12:05 PM

R344, no one is doing that.

by Anonymousreply 345Last Thursday at 8:28 PM

Indeed, dude

by Anonymousreply 347Last Friday at 5:52 AM

What you call "gaybro" or homosexual men who enjoy activities typically deemed masculine have always existed. In fact, it has kind of been the norm since day 1. In ancient depictions of homosexual men anjoying activities together they were usually depicted performing activities considered masculine.

The association of male homosexuality with effeminacy is rather a recent phenomenon in human history but since effeminate homosexual men get much more exposure in the media and in society, by default, people think the "gaybros" are a new phenomenon when they're actually not.

by Anonymousreply 349Last Friday at 11:23 AM

r349, not in WEHO

by Anonymousreply 350Last Friday at 5:17 PM

Do the gaybros actually treat each other as "gaybros"?

by Anonymousreply 353Last Friday at 6:03 PM

Aaron Rodgers and Kevin Lanflisi were the "gaybro" power couple... until they broke up.

by Anonymousreply 354Last Friday at 6:13 PM
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