Within 40 years.
Nearly half of Christians believe Christ will return
|by Mary||reply 63||04/03/2013|
Fast forward to 2053:
Jesus appears on earth.
[looks around a bit]
Jesus: I'm outta here!
|by Mary||reply 1||03/29/2013|
Of course they do. Why believe in the return if you don't think you'll get to see it?
|by Mary||reply 2||03/29/2013|
|by Mary||reply 3||03/29/2013|
It'll go something like this...
|by Mary||reply 4||03/29/2013|
Another fake poll from Christians. Imagine that.
|by Mary||reply 5||03/29/2013|
THey most likely will be waiting for MUCH longer than that
|by Mary||reply 6||03/29/2013|
I hope he does and sees the shit being done to others in his name. Then I hope he gets real made and re-institutes the smiting.
|by Mary||reply 7||03/29/2013|
|by Mary||reply 8||03/29/2013|
I used to have a t-shirt that read:
[bold]Jesus is coming
and he's really pissed![/bold]
|by Mary||reply 9||03/29/2013|
I had one I gave to my oldest son.
It said "Jesus Is Coming. Hide The Porn".
|by Mary||reply 10||03/30/2013|
In other news, the Easter Bunny will return the day after tomorrow.
|by Mary||reply 11||03/30/2013|
Fuck Jesus, when the hell is Santa coming back?
|by Mary||reply 12||03/30/2013|
In regard to Santa, did you notice that the Easter Bunny is getting very gifty? Santa used to be the gift bringer, but now the Bunny is doing it, too.
|by Mary||reply 13||03/30/2013|
The real question is when will Shelley Hack return.
|by Mary||reply 14||03/30/2013|
Good! He can finally sit the haters and the fundies down and clarify his message of love with them. He needs to get back here, fast.
|by Mary||reply 15||03/31/2013|
OMG! You love Shelly Hack, too???
|by Mary||reply 16||03/31/2013|
r15 if he ATTEMPTS that these Christians and the Tea Party crowd will obviously think he is a hippy and will shoot his mutherfucking ass
|by Mary||reply 17||03/31/2013|
Christians are such idiots.
|by Mary||reply 18||03/31/2013|
No doubt, Jesus will mutter, "Religion is the root of all evil" and turn around and go back.
|by Mary||reply 19||03/31/2013|
|by Mary||reply 20||03/31/2013|
No one's coming back because no one left.
|by Mary||reply 21||03/31/2013|
Haven't they been saying that for going on two millennia?
I guess patience really is a virtue.
|by Mary||reply 22||03/31/2013|
r17, and they will do that because they are such good conservative Christian! ROTFLMAO!
|by Mary||reply 23||04/01/2013|
Christians love to believe things that clearly aren't true. They not only make a habit of it, but a lifestyle out of it.
|by Mary||reply 24||04/01/2013|
What do you believe in R24?
|by Mary||reply 25||04/01/2013|
Science, logic, ethics, facts, reality, ... you know, ACTUAL things. Not made up fantasies and fables.
|by Mary||reply 26||04/01/2013|
They're to narcissitic to believe the world will still spin w/o them.
|by Mary||reply 28||04/01/2013|
hmmm...I see. R26. Ethics - probably not as you wouldn't be trashing the faith and beliefs of billions of people around the world.
|by Mary||reply 29||04/01/2013|
R27, you're kind of pathetic. You'd actually worship a "god" that would condemn anyone for not believing in him to eternal hellfire and damnation? Little kids don't believe because they haven't been indoctrinated yet. There are billions (a super-majority of people on this planet) that don't believe in your particular god.
What if you're wrong? You've wasted a life -- the one and only life you'll ever have.
There's zero evidence for any after-life, anywhere.
There's lots of logic, reason, and evidence to suggest there's no such thing.
|by Mary||reply 30||04/01/2013|
R29, that doesn't even make any sense. But then... Christian believe (any religious belief in truth) in plenty of nonsense.
|by Mary||reply 31||04/01/2013|
I didn't think that they imposed on any belief, they merely pointed out the obvious, r29.
|by Mary||reply 32||04/01/2013|
Of course it makes sense R29. What is your basis stating it's nonsense? You don't know.
R30, there is plenty of people who have had near death experiences...I'll take their word for it.
The good news for R29 and R30 is that God loves you no matter how stupid you are!
|by Mary||reply 33||04/01/2013|
[quote]there is plenty of people who have had near death experiences...I'll take their word for it.
Dude, educate yourself.
The "near death experiences" (usually "out of body" experiences) can be replicated in the lab at will. It's a phenomenon of an oxygen-starved brain.
There is no god. The existence of a god makes absolutely no sense. You have to be deeply and willfully ignorant to believe in such a thing.
|by Mary||reply 35||04/01/2013|
R34 = ignorant homophobe, obviously stuck on the wrong forum
So ignorant they don't even know how to correctly refer to previous replies, in spite of the dozens of examples right in front of their face.
So stupid, in so many ways.
|by Mary||reply 36||04/01/2013|
[quote]What if you're wrong? You've wasted a life -- the one and only life you'll ever have.
If the non-believers are right, I'll never know it. No existence, no regret.
|by Mary||reply 37||04/01/2013|
R34, if only, I'm a dyke!
|by Mary||reply 38||04/01/2013|
[quote]If the non-believers are right, I'll never know it. No existence, no regret.
Right. And that's exactly what'll happen.
And if there is an afterlife, I'll gladly admit I was wrong, because for the first time there will be some evidence.
It's fascinating to me how people like you are SO SURE they know EXACTLY what happens after death even though there's no way that you or any other person could ever possibly know. Yet you deny obvious facts that we DO know and that science HAS proven.
|by Mary||reply 39||04/01/2013|
|by Mary||reply 40||04/01/2013|
Nobody in this thread said they could PROVE anything of the sort (quite the opposite... that such knowledge was impossible by definition).
However, logic, reason, and the facts at hand all point to no after-life, and nothing -- absolutely nothing -- indicates there is any such thing.
But you'd sorta have to take a few science and logic classes to even begin to grasp anything like that. Which is why religious belief is the domain of the ignorant. Especially those who are afraid to say "I don't know", and have to fill that gap in knowledge with fairy stories so they don't freak out.
|by Mary||reply 42||04/01/2013|
Well, he's on re-runs right now, so I guess he's been back for a week or two.
|by Mary||reply 44||04/01/2013|
Since Jesus died for my sins, I certainly don't want his death to be in vain. That is why I am committed to living my life as a sinner. It doesn't matter one way or the other since someone alteady paid the consequences. Thanks Jesus. See you at the golden choir sky buffet.
|by Mary||reply 46||04/02/2013|
Dying for our sins doesn't even make any sense. It's like saying I stubbed my toe to "fix" the fact that you lied. It's ridiculous, like all Christian dogma.
|by Mary||reply 47||04/02/2013|
|by Mary||reply 48||04/02/2013|
R47- More like saying. "I stubbed my toe because in 2000 years you are going to lie. But you better not lie. Cuz that's a sin."
|by Mary||reply 49||04/02/2013|
In order to "return," he would have needed to have been here in the first place.
|by Mary||reply 50||04/02/2013|
The ironic thing is; this current crop of big money, hypocritical, blowhard Christians wouldn't accept Jesus! They would persecute him and silence his message because it wouldn't fit their agenda of hatefulness.
|by Mary||reply 51||04/02/2013|
morons who believe this shouldn't be allowed to vote.
|by Mary||reply 52||04/02/2013|
You're all going to hell!
|by Mary||reply 53||04/02/2013|
Our return policy only extends for thirty days.
|by Mary||reply 54||04/02/2013|
If Jesus doesn't come back within 40 years, he's only going to meet cockroaches.
|by Mary||reply 55||04/02/2013|
R55. and CHER.
|by Mary||reply 56||04/03/2013|
He'd better have photo ID if he thinks he's gonna cross our border.
|by Mary||reply 57||04/03/2013|
|by Mary||reply 58||04/03/2013|
If you are going to believe Christ will return, why not believe he will return in the next 40 years?
|by Mary||reply 59||04/03/2013|
They want to be alert so they can kill him. No fucking "resurrection" bullshit this time!
|by Mary||reply 60||04/03/2013|
"This radical element wants to take our swords. And what are they going to do with them? Beat them in plowshares. Plowshares for their socialist commune programs. It's time to take back our country!"
|by Mary||reply 61||04/03/2013|
It's a poll of US Christians AKA Old Testament Levitican busybodies - quite a different animal from Christians in many other countries.
|by Mary||reply 62||04/03/2013|
You do know that if you're wrong, you're soul will burn for eternity.
|by Mary||reply 63||04/03/2013|