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Nearly half of Christians believe Christ will return

Within 40 years.

by Maryreply 6304/03/2013

Fast forward to 2053:

Jesus appears on earth.

Jesus: Hello!

[looks around a bit]

Jesus: I'm outta here!

by Maryreply 103/29/2013

Of course they do. Why believe in the return if you don't think you'll get to see it?

by Maryreply 203/29/2013


by Maryreply 303/29/2013

It'll go something like this...

by Maryreply 403/29/2013

Another fake poll from Christians. Imagine that.

by Maryreply 503/29/2013

THey most likely will be waiting for MUCH longer than that

by Maryreply 603/29/2013

I hope he does and sees the shit being done to others in his name. Then I hope he gets real made and re-institutes the smiting.

by Maryreply 703/29/2013

From where?

by Maryreply 803/29/2013

I used to have a t-shirt that read:

[bold]Jesus is coming

and he's really pissed![/bold]

by Maryreply 903/29/2013

I had one I gave to my oldest son.

It said "Jesus Is Coming. Hide The Porn".

by Maryreply 1003/29/2013

In other news, the Easter Bunny will return the day after tomorrow.

by Maryreply 1103/29/2013

Fuck Jesus, when the hell is Santa coming back?

by Maryreply 1203/29/2013

In regard to Santa, did you notice that the Easter Bunny is getting very gifty? Santa used to be the gift bringer, but now the Bunny is doing it, too.

by Maryreply 1303/29/2013

The real question is when will Shelley Hack return.

by Maryreply 1403/29/2013

Good! He can finally sit the haters and the fundies down and clarify his message of love with them. He needs to get back here, fast.

by Maryreply 1503/30/2013

OMG! You love Shelly Hack, too???

by Maryreply 1603/30/2013

r15 if he ATTEMPTS that these Christians and the Tea Party crowd will obviously think he is a hippy and will shoot his mutherfucking ass

by Maryreply 1703/30/2013

Christians are such idiots.

by Maryreply 1803/30/2013

No doubt, Jesus will mutter, "Religion is the root of all evil" and turn around and go back.

by Maryreply 1903/30/2013


by Maryreply 2003/30/2013

No one's coming back because no one left.

by Maryreply 2103/30/2013

Haven't they been saying that for going on two millennia?

I guess patience really is a virtue.

by Maryreply 2203/31/2013

r17, and they will do that because they are such good conservative Christian! ROTFLMAO!

by Maryreply 2304/01/2013

Christians love to believe things that clearly aren't true. They not only make a habit of it, but a lifestyle out of it.

by Maryreply 2404/01/2013

What do you believe in R24?

by Maryreply 2504/01/2013

Science, logic, ethics, facts, reality, ... you know, ACTUAL things. Not made up fantasies and fables.

by Maryreply 2604/01/2013

What if all you nonbelievers are wrong? Guess you will be spending eternity in Hell.

by Maryreply 2704/01/2013

They're to narcissitic to believe the world will still spin w/o them.

by Maryreply 2804/01/2013

hmmm...I see. R26. Ethics - probably not as you wouldn't be trashing the faith and beliefs of billions of people around the world.

by Maryreply 2904/01/2013

R27, you're kind of pathetic. You'd actually worship a "god" that would condemn anyone for not believing in him to eternal hellfire and damnation? Little kids don't believe because they haven't been indoctrinated yet. There are billions (a super-majority of people on this planet) that don't believe in your particular god.

What if you're wrong? You've wasted a life -- the one and only life you'll ever have.

There's zero evidence for any after-life, anywhere.

There's lots of logic, reason, and evidence to suggest there's no such thing.

by Maryreply 3004/01/2013

R29, that doesn't even make any sense. But then... Christian believe (any religious belief in truth) in plenty of nonsense.

by Maryreply 3104/01/2013

I didn't think that they imposed on any belief, they merely pointed out the obvious, r29.

by Maryreply 3204/01/2013

Of course it makes sense R29. What is your basis stating it's nonsense? You don't know.

R30, there is plenty of people who have had near death experiences...I'll take their word for it.

The good news for R29 and R30 is that God loves you no matter how stupid you are!

by Maryreply 3304/01/2013

R-30 You are the pathetic one. You have spent your life shoving things up your ass. It's easier for you to convince yourself there is no God so you can continue with that vile lifestyle.

by Maryreply 3404/01/2013

[quote]there is plenty of people who have had near death experiences...I'll take their word for it.

Dude, educate yourself.

The "near death experiences" (usually "out of body" experiences) can be replicated in the lab at will. It's a phenomenon of an oxygen-starved brain.

There is no god. The existence of a god makes absolutely no sense. You have to be deeply and willfully ignorant to believe in such a thing.

by Maryreply 3504/01/2013

R34 = ignorant homophobe, obviously stuck on the wrong forum

So ignorant they don't even know how to correctly refer to previous replies, in spite of the dozens of examples right in front of their face.

So stupid, in so many ways.

by Maryreply 3604/01/2013

[quote]What if you're wrong? You've wasted a life -- the one and only life you'll ever have.

If the non-believers are right, I'll never know it. No existence, no regret.

by Maryreply 3704/01/2013

R34, if only, I'm a dyke!

by Maryreply 3804/01/2013

[quote]If the non-believers are right, I'll never know it. No existence, no regret.

Right. And that's exactly what'll happen.

And if there is an afterlife, I'll gladly admit I was wrong, because for the first time there will be some evidence.

It's fascinating to me how people like you are SO SURE they know EXACTLY what happens after death even though there's no way that you or any other person could ever possibly know. Yet you deny obvious facts that we DO know and that science HAS proven.


by Maryreply 3904/01/2013


by Maryreply 4004/01/2013

The "Know it All" can prove there is no life after death. Guess he has the inside scoop on this subject. What a friggin' Jerk!!

by Maryreply 4104/01/2013

Nobody in this thread said they could PROVE anything of the sort (quite the opposite... that such knowledge was impossible by definition).

However, logic, reason, and the facts at hand all point to no after-life, and nothing -- absolutely nothing -- indicates there is any such thing.

But you'd sorta have to take a few science and logic classes to even begin to grasp anything like that. Which is why religious belief is the domain of the ignorant. Especially those who are afraid to say "I don't know", and have to fill that gap in knowledge with fairy stories so they don't freak out.

by Maryreply 4204/01/2013

OK , I'll bite. Just what are these "facts" you speak of.

by Maryreply 4304/01/2013

Well, he's on re-runs right now, so I guess he's been back for a week or two.

by Maryreply 4404/01/2013


by Maryreply 4504/01/2013

Since Jesus died for my sins, I certainly don't want his death to be in vain. That is why I am committed to living my life as a sinner. It doesn't matter one way or the other since someone alteady paid the consequences. Thanks Jesus. See you at the golden choir sky buffet.

by Maryreply 4604/01/2013

Dying for our sins doesn't even make any sense. It's like saying I stubbed my toe to "fix" the fact that you lied. It's ridiculous, like all Christian dogma.

by Maryreply 4704/01/2013

lol R3

by Maryreply 4804/01/2013

R47- More like saying. "I stubbed my toe because in 2000 years you are going to lie. But you better not lie. Cuz that's a sin."

by Maryreply 4904/01/2013

In order to "return," he would have needed to have been here in the first place.

by Maryreply 5004/01/2013

The ironic thing is; this current crop of big money, hypocritical, blowhard Christians wouldn't accept Jesus! They would persecute him and silence his message because it wouldn't fit their agenda of hatefulness.

by Maryreply 5104/02/2013

morons who believe this shouldn't be allowed to vote.

by Maryreply 5204/02/2013

You're all going to hell!

by Maryreply 5304/02/2013

Our return policy only extends for thirty days.

by Maryreply 5404/02/2013

If Jesus doesn't come back within 40 years, he's only going to meet cockroaches.

by Maryreply 5504/02/2013

R55. and CHER.

by Maryreply 5604/02/2013

He'd better have photo ID if he thinks he's gonna cross our border.

by Maryreply 5704/02/2013


by Maryreply 5804/03/2013

If you are going to believe Christ will return, why not believe he will return in the next 40 years?

by Maryreply 5904/03/2013

They want to be alert so they can kill him. No fucking "resurrection" bullshit this time!

by Maryreply 6004/03/2013

"This radical element wants to take our swords. And what are they going to do with them? Beat them in plowshares. Plowshares for their socialist commune programs. It's time to take back our country!"

by Maryreply 6104/03/2013

It's a poll of US Christians AKA Old Testament Levitican busybodies - quite a different animal from Christians in many other countries.

by Maryreply 6204/03/2013

You do know that if you're wrong, you're soul will burn for eternity.

by Maryreply 6304/03/2013
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