Would it be correct to say that marriage equality has become a reality only in states where there is no constitutional admendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman? Can't recall if one existed in IA before the court order.
That's my assumption. The only states right now that don't have a statute or constitutional amendment are RI and NM. Every other stated has one (a few allow civil unions), and 19 of them have amendments banning any kind of legal recognition of gay relationships.
The majority of the U.S. is not, I think, going to grant marriage equality anytime soon short of an order from the SCOTUS (which is unlikely).
So even if we add NM and RI(which will be hard due to the big Catholic influence in that state), and move the states with civil unions to full marriage equality, most of the country will still not be on board.