Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Michele Bachmann Accidentally Embarks on Gay Cruise

Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and her husband, Marcus, accidentally set sail on a gay cruise today following a misunderstanding with a travel agency.

The six day jaunt on the all-gay Atlantis Cruise Lines was mistakenly booked after Marcus Bachmann visited a Minneapolis travel agent who assumed he was gay.

Although the couple has reportedly requested to leave the ship, it won't reach its next port in The Bahamas for another three days. The pair are currently holed up in their suite waiting to disembark and return to Miami by air.

Phillip Jennings, a partner at North Star Travel agency in Minnesota, is deeply apologetic over the incident and explains how the mishap occurred.

"Mr. Bachmann came into our office three weeks ago," Jennings says. "He said he wanted to book a cruise for himself and his partner 'Michele'.

"From his demeanor, I assumed that Mr. Bachmann was gay and that 'Michel' was a man who pronounced his name in the French way. So I booked them on one of our finest all-gay cruises in the Caribbean.

"In retrospect it was unprofessional of me to assume his sexual orientation. I am very sorry for the inconvenience this misunderstanding has caused and we have offered to fully refund the cost of the Bachmanns' trip."

Marcus the Bear The unexpected detour for the Bachmanns during Congress' recess is especially ironic given their stated opposition to the "homosexual lifestyle."

Michele has vociferously opposed same-sex marriage from her perch in the U.S. House of Representatives, and Marcus operates a counseling center which advocates "pray the gay away" reparative therapy.

The duo's anti-gay positions don't seem to be causing any animosity aboard the Rainbow Warrior, however. A source on board the vessel says Marcus has attracted the attention of the passengers and was even voted "cutest bear" on the ship's traditional Bear vs. Twink night.

"I think he's absolutely delicious," says Albert Goldman, a sous chef from Palm Beach, Fla. "I just want to pour truffle oil on top and eat him up!"

Michele for her part is having difficulty adjusting to not being the center of attention. But in an exclusive interview from the ship's satellite phone the Christian firebrand explains that the experience is not all bad.

"Obviously I don't agree with 95 percent of what's been happening around me," she says, "but they do have a fantastic hair salon, and some really nice shoe shops. So I'm trying to make the best of it."

by Anonymousreply 403/27/2013

Yeah, right, Marcus, "accidentally".

by Anonymousreply 103/27/2013

Lame. Makes you genuinely appreciate how hard satire is to do well, a la The Onion, which this site is badly trying to emulate.

by Anonymousreply 203/27/2013

Satire, people!

by Anonymousreply 303/27/2013

Love "The Americans" shout-out.

by Anonymousreply 403/27/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!