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Cheer me up, DL (and advice solicited)

I need it, and full disclosure: lesbian drama - so fuck off if you have mommy issues. I've been here since you were in grade school, so I'm not going anywhere.

And this is long, too, so if you're unable to tolerate anything longer than a tweet, don't complain. See inside first post.

by Anonymousreply 2303/26/2013

My soon-to-be-ex dumped me in a fairly awful way last year when I was extremely sick with a life threatening medical disorder that had gone undiagnosed for years. She met someone online while I was still in our home, and started a social media-based relationship, oblivious to the fact that this was mostly public. When I figured it out I'd "invaded her privacy". This breakup was not only personal relationship but professional; she decided to move to the other side of the country, and we'd just signed a lease for our business and that ended up being quite expensive to terminate. We were still married.

I moved to another state alone last spring, got medical treatment alone, started my life over, made friends and started occasionally going out, though I did not pursue anything serious. I returned home for business in mid summer, and like an idiot I briefly reconciled with her. She asked for time to consider the relationship. This was two weeks after she consummated her relationship with the obese, walleyed, gender-confused young person she was "in love" with. Nevertheless, I agreed.

I returned to my city and went on with my life, though I stopped dating. Various dramatic phone discussions ensued. She came to visit me in the fall twice and both times discussed moving to my city, which I didn't know what to think about. In between and after these visits, she became irrationally angry with me and declared she could never be on the same coast with me, much less move here.

So that is where it was left until Thanksgiving, when she announced she was not only moving here, she had rented (sight unseen) an apartment six blocks from me the following week. I scrambled to get ready for her, let her stay with me for two weeks after she arrived, drove her all over town getting her place set up, took her to all my favorite places, and did my best to make a nice holiday for her.

But what I did not do was to introduce her to all my friends here, primarily because I was spending all my time with her and they were busy. This was an unforgivable sin. We went to counseling; she stopped attending after five sessions. She then filed for divorce two weeks ago because we had an argument about the fact that I had not introduced her to all my friends. (I don't have huge numbers of friends, and they are quite busy, I hardly see them, and the people I've known for years who live here are unimpressed by her.)

So this past week she attended this training (not a cult, but close) that she returned from and told me she "forgives me". She has basically cut off contact except to harass me about our final business tax return.

Oh, and she hasn't really worked in about a year. She's living on the proceeds of the sale of her house, which are almost gone, and she has no real employment prospects except a couple of businesses she plans to try. I have several sources of income.

What do I do? Yes, she's a vampire and horrendous to deal with, but I do still love her. And it's like she moved her and squatted in my life just so she could fuck me over again. So why am I so sad about it?

by Anonymousreply 103/25/2013

Oh, god, you again. You're the dumb twat who used to live in Alaska, no? And do not start in about how I must be a gay man with mommy issues because I am a lesbian, too. If you still haven't wised up enough to punch and delete, there is no hope for you, so go kill yourself or something, and stop polluting DL with your bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 203/25/2013

Yeah, I could swear we did this one about 2 months ago.

by Anonymousreply 303/25/2013


by Anonymousreply 403/26/2013

A portrait of the OP.

by Anonymousreply 503/26/2013

Why do you love her? Love is worthless if it isn't justified and deserved. From what you post, she certainly doesn't deserve it.

by Anonymousreply 603/26/2013

Ugh, OP. You need counseling to figure out why you allow yourself to be used and mistreated this way. You know you deserve better, right? Life is too short for this shit.

by Anonymousreply 703/26/2013

OP = Stockholm Syndrome

by Anonymousreply 803/26/2013

OP, it sounds like she has Borderline Personality. Just let her go. Don't let her contact you at all.

She's been manipulating you for so long, you've gotten used to it. You'll be sad for a while but it's OK. You won't feel this way forever.

You found the strength to move away. This is a small setback. Don't get sucked back into your old miserable life when she inevitably tries to reconcile one more time.

Take care.

by Anonymousreply 903/26/2013

Listen to r9.

by Anonymousreply 1003/26/2013

Ever notice how all Lesbian drama stories start with an undiagnosed medical condition in the first paragraph?

by Anonymousreply 1103/26/2013

I don't think it would be humanly possible for me to care one tiny bit less about one single word of that entire post than I do right now.

by Anonymousreply 1203/26/2013

Listen to R9 and R10.

by Anonymousreply 1303/26/2013

R11, yes; and reading lesbian drama makes me feel so painful to the touch.

by Anonymousreply 1403/26/2013

Love. Is. A. Choice.

Which means we can control those feelings of love. The biggest myth in the world is the bullshit about love being some kind of crazy uncontrollable emotion. If you say you still love her, YOU are CHOOSING that. So your misery is self-induced and I have zero sympathy. Get over her and get over yourself.

by Anonymousreply 1503/26/2013

OP, save your money and join us on the land this year. There are many young women like yourself in the "twilight zone". We welcome you.

by Anonymousreply 1603/26/2013

Yes I Have r11

by Anonymousreply 1703/26/2013

What R2 said.

Now get the fuck outta here and don't come back until you grow a backbone.

by Anonymousreply 1803/26/2013

Cats, OP. Lots of Cats. Trust me.

by Anonymousreply 1903/26/2013

I love cigarettes, but I know they're no good for me.

Stop pining for cigarettes.

by Anonymousreply 2003/26/2013

Law & Order SVU reruns, Thai food, a nice dildo.

by Anonymousreply 2103/26/2013

What everyone else said. Thread Closed!

by Anonymousreply 2203/26/2013

You do not love her. You are used to her. Move on.

by Anonymousreply 2303/26/2013
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