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I gave a hand-job under the seder table.

Long story short. Was invited to a communal seder with around 30 other people, most of whom I didn't know. This one cute guy and I were chatting before the seder and we really hit it off. We decided to sit next to each other. Within 10 minutes, I was jerking him off under the table. It was a major turn-on watching him from my peripheral view trying to stifle moans and not to squirm.

by Anonymousreply 6003/27/2013

Is cum kosher?

by Anonymousreply 103/26/2013

Chill out, prisspot at r2. I think it sounds like a lovely way to celebrate. If there was more Seder masturbation, the world would be a better place.

by Anonymousreply 303/26/2013

I'm sure they did the same thing at the Last Supper (also a seder.) All of those horny apostles ...

by Anonymousreply 403/26/2013

If you're not joking, r2, then please unclutch those pearls. It wasn't at my mom's. It was a communal thing where I didn't know many people, so nothing shameful or vile about it. What's with all the sex-neg's on this board lately?

by Anonymousreply 503/26/2013

So, was that night different from all other nights, or is this a regular ritual for you (or for him, for that matter)?

by Anonymousreply 603/26/2013

R2 is more uptight that Margaret Thatcher's corset

by Anonymousreply 703/26/2013

W and W for r7!

by Anonymousreply 803/26/2013

OP, you have a lot in common with many catholic priests.

by Anonymousreply 903/26/2013

Did you lick his cum off your fingers in front of the other guests, OP?

by Anonymousreply 1103/26/2013

OP = Andy Cohen

Hi, Andy!

by Anonymousreply 1203/26/2013

Grandma, I asked you to stop starting threads on Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 1303/26/2013

You are a whore, darlin'.

by Anonymousreply 1403/26/2013

No need to wonder why we all hate you, r10 - it's because you use an individual's sexual indiscretion to let your vile judgemental homophobia off the leash. Do us all a favor and die already.

by Anonymousreply 1503/26/2013

Lies.

If that happened for real, EVERYONE would have known and you and the other dude would've been booted out.

by Anonymousreply 1603/26/2013

Please pass the glazed brisket, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 1703/26/2013

Wasn't there a thread a while back about someone who ejaculated all over a seder plate?

by Anonymousreply 1803/26/2013

Both of u are going straight to hell !!

by Anonymousreply 1903/26/2013

Extra Special Tzafun

by Anonymousreply 2003/26/2013

I think it sounds hot.

by Anonymousreply 2203/26/2013

Once again DL proves it has no idea how to write erotic gay fiction. For some reason you made the experience sound repulsive, OP. Bravo.

by Anonymousreply 2303/26/2013

Pure fantasy... Offensive, but pure fantasy. If real, an abuse of the hospitality extended to you by the hosts, and at an event of religious significance. But I don't believe that you could successfully jerk someone off without your arm movements being noticed; and was his cum invisible ?

by Anonymousreply 2403/26/2013

Not kosher, OP. Happy Pesach to everyone BUT the OP!

by Anonymousreply 2503/26/2013

Well, since the DL doesn't believe in God, and for most of us anything sexual goes, why all the upset? He said he was cute ferpetessake.

by Anonymousreply 2603/26/2013

Why is this night different from all other nights? Whore.

by Anonymousreply 2703/26/2013

you can make fun of the fundies, the mormons, the babtists etc

but on DL if you make fun of the jews....they just can't take it.

by Anonymousreply 2803/26/2013

R28, New Yorkers are supposed to be tough.But they are really sensitive souls.

by Anonymousreply 2903/26/2013

If that's what it takes to keep your elbows off the table. . . mazeltov, darling.

by Anonymousreply 3003/26/2013

This is a fantasy thread. I am LOL at all the indignation. I remember, once, wanting my cute cousin to give me a footjob at Christmas dinner, unbder the table. Never happened, but thinking about it got me thru a boring meal, awful food, and relatives I couldn't stand.

Happy Pesach, OP! The judgemental fraus on DL are very off-putting.

by Anonymousreply 3103/26/2013

Most DL posters don't mind haters...as long as you only hate the same things/people that they do. That's why I like to piss these assholes off.

by Anonymousreply 3203/26/2013

This thing never happens when I attend seder. Of course, if I were sitting next to Adam Levine . . .

by Anonymousreply 3303/26/2013

The only thing better to do at a Seder would be to drop your napkin and go down on that cock right at the table.

by Anonymousreply 3403/26/2013

You were at the Black Party, OP, not seder. Sober the fuck up, already.

by Anonymousreply 3503/26/2013

OP is Ann Coulter and the seder was at a bathhouse.

by Anonymousreply 3603/26/2013

Cum really improves the flavor of unleavened bread.

by Anonymousreply 3703/26/2013

Oy vey! Hoozpah! Now tell us how big was his cock?

by Anonymousreply 3803/26/2013

Judaism is not sex negative like much of Christianity and Islam.

by Anonymousreply 4003/26/2013

Please tell me they were not using Grandma's linen napkins.

by Anonymousreply 4103/26/2013

Oy Vey!

by Anonymousreply 4203/26/2013

Jews! Jews! Jews!

by Anonymousreply 4303/26/2013

[quote]Judaism is not sex negative like much of Christianity and Islam.

Yes, you're right of course. Homosexual unions have been recognised and celebrated for centuries, just like heterosexual ones.

by Anonymousreply 4403/26/2013

At least you didn't pork him. SO not kosher!

by Anonymousreply 4503/26/2013

[quote]Judaism is not sex negative

It's just that very few people want to have sex with them.

by Anonymousreply 4603/26/2013

OY Gevalt! and I'm still without a date!

by Anonymousreply 4703/26/2013

R30 Wins!

by Anonymousreply 4803/26/2013

"Winning isn't everything, R48" - Abraham Lincoln

by Anonymousreply 4903/26/2013

[quote] jesus christ, you're an asshole.

Jesus Christ has no place at the seder table!

by Anonymousreply 5003/26/2013

Why do the jews need so many holidays?

by Anonymousreply 5103/26/2013

What's this about a nose job under a table?

by Anonymousreply 5203/26/2013

Seder? I hardly KNOW her.

by Anonymousreply 5303/26/2013

This thread is making me HORNY as GEHENNA!

by Anonymousreply 5403/26/2013

Every year I kick myself for not sticking to my own WASP kind. I feel like I've betrayed my ancestors. Ivanka Trump would never get this because she doesn't hail from the better families, so no skin off of her already too skinned nose job.

by Anonymousreply 5503/26/2013

A girl I went to high school with has a fake Jewish husband. (he's not Jewish they just say he is)

Someday I plan to get drunk at a party an announce it (as if I'm Brandi Glanville or Carolyn Manzo...."you wanna destroy a family?")

by Anonymousreply 5603/26/2013

This night is not like all other nights

by Anonymousreply 5703/26/2013

My aunt, Ester Sadie Tamowitz was there. This really happened...

by Anonymousreply 5803/26/2013

Would someone please post a SPOILER or glue a Star of David armband to the beginning of these Jewish threads to alert us WASPS?

by Anonymousreply 5903/27/2013
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