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Why is Datalounge so cold?

There should be meet-ups and t-shirts and a movie night (where there'd be an old movie streamed and we could all comment on it in real time).

No one authenticates anymore. The anonymity invites cruelty.

It's like this place is run by a computer.

by Edwinareply 4803/24/2013

There's a facebook group and you can see some of the people who comment in here, it's cool. Just stay in fun threads like Everest and witches, there's not really arguing in there. I don't notice the meanness here too much but I don't care about celeb crap and that seems to be where people get highly pissed at each other.

by Edwinareply 103/22/2013

Anonymous posting privileges bring out the worst in a great deal of people. You can learn a great deal about people and their agenda, intent, fears, their prejudices, their hopes, and dreams from one single anonymous post.

Tread with care and if you are lucky you will not only get out alive but with your sanity unscathed.

by Edwinareply 203/22/2013

It has always been this way & will always be this way. There have been a few meetups along the way.

by Edwinareply 303/22/2013

Edwina, would you really want to have cocktails with PPSM?

by Edwinareply 403/22/2013

Not PPSM but some people would be fun to have an MST3K movie fest with. The Michfest people seem fun (the posters here not the attendees) and the fellow Good Times enthusiasts, etc.

by Edwinareply 503/22/2013

r4. I can only imagine all the drinks getting thrown into other people's faces and all the drama exits. A whole chaos of glittering earrings and flowing caftans.

by Edwinareply 603/22/2013

When you put it that way, r6, it might be fun. A Caftans and Earrings night. I'll bring the tequila.

by Edwinareply 703/22/2013

If you think DL is harsh go to a mainstream site, it's 100 times worse.

by Edwinareply 803/22/2013

Part of what killed Datalounge was when it became a subscription site. It was a poor decision that ultimately ruined what was once a great site. Ever since it went subscription, the quality of new threads have gotten progressively worse. With little to no interesting threads, people stopped coming here. What we call Datalounge is a shadow of its former self.

by Edwinareply 903/22/2013

[quote]No one authenticates anymore. The anonymity invites cruelty.

If you had been here for longer than 5 minutes, you would know the exact opposite is true: people don't authenticate anymore because authenticated posters attract stalker trolls like flies. Most of the authenticateds post anonymously now because they got sick of the trolls following them from thread to thread.

by Edwinareply 1003/22/2013

Don't forget the vicious face slappings, R6.

by Edwinareply 1103/22/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Edwinareply 1203/22/2013

I think it would be great if people who visit the Broadway thread could get together in NYC! I, for one, would LOVE to meet the Broadway thread OP!

by Edwinareply 1303/23/2013

I like the coldness of Datalounge (it just works, it's simple) but love the idea of streaming a movie and we all post in a thread... love it!!!! like the oscars, Grammys, but.. different. also I do think many people here are warm and supportive overall - I've been here over ten years and have gotten to know a handful of posters. done a few meetups. I agree subscription changed the site for the worst perhaps

by Edwinareply 1503/23/2013

I'll bring the Chicken Spaghetti and Lumpy Risotto!

by Edwinareply 1603/23/2013

I would love to meet or even just see, the Jani Layne guy. What a story, and I bet he doesn't get to tell it to people he really knows because nobody but randoms would know who he is.

by Edwinareply 1703/23/2013

R14, you are doing yourself no favors in this thread or any other. You're getting banned for a reason. Ever ask yourself why you feel entitled to your ban-able behavior while someone like me has been here for 13 years and has never been banned once?

Troll, behold thyself. Just because the webbie can't keep you down doesn't mean you aren't part of the problem. Your obnoxious spamming of multiple threads alone shows you care more about being the center of attention than the vitality of the DL. In fact, I think it's clear you don't give a shit about this place, you just want a place to troll and want to stick it to teacher for sending you to detention.

Also, the DL is fine, part of the DL's identity is perpetual agonizing.

by Edwinareply 1803/23/2013

I'd do a local meetup. Anyone else in the Cleveland area?

by Edwinareply 1903/23/2013

I'd love to get together. They'll have handicapped parking, right?

by Edwinareply 2003/23/2013

Go on Facebook r19. I bet there are some there.

by Edwinareply 2103/23/2013

I'm not on Facebook.

by Edwinareply 2203/23/2013

I can't believe anyone would find this place mean or cruel. It really is pretty tame. Any normal site has more viciousness...datalounge is more catty.

by Edwinareply 2403/23/2013

Hold me David, I'm afraid.

by Edwinareply 2603/23/2013

so... anyone in Cleveland want to meet without me having to join Facebook?

by Edwinareply 2703/23/2013

Anytime, big boy.

by Edwinareply 2803/23/2013

"Why so cold, my love?"

by Edwinareply 2903/23/2013

"Part of what killed Datalounge was when it became a subscription site."

I disagree. Ye Olde Datalounge had a lot of psychotics and/or teenagers posting profanity and other stunts. Ugh, all those red tags.

It's just that the milquetoasts that are left refuse to start threads. Or can't. I've started polls where 150+ people will vote. But why aren't these same people doing more than just coming here to see if anyone else wrote something funny or interesting?

Here's an idea: to get "on" Datalounge, you have to first post a thread- that's your admission. Then you're on for the rest of the day.

by Edwinareply 3003/23/2013

[quote]I've seen him put big chunks of Europe on PT just to keep me from posting

R23/R14 is clearly the center of the universe.

by Edwinareply 3103/23/2013

Polly paranoia

by Edwinareply 3203/23/2013

r30, you have to pay to post a thread.

by Edwinareply 3303/23/2013

r33- yeah. I hate that. I want to ask a question that isn't related to any other threads that I can see (and I can't search for them) and there isn't that much lgbt stuff on the internet that isn't primarily sex-driven, or that has people who read it all the time. It's really frustrating.

by Edwinareply 3403/23/2013

You can always ask someone to start a thread for you r34. I see people do it all the time, if it's reasonable they will.

by Edwinareply 3503/23/2013

R34, I can post a new thread for you, as I've done for others. Just please don't dis me in return for my postings.

by Edwinareply 3603/23/2013

R34, what thread do you want? I'll start it for you.

by Edwinareply 3703/23/2013

See r34?

by Edwinareply 3803/23/2013

I want to know if there are any resources for people who are coming out or questioning their orientation in their mid-20's. The It Gets Better stuff is really all about not being bullied, or trying to negotiate what your parents think about you, but I've got different issues and don't really know where to turn. I'm already grown up, but I really feel like I'm not finished. Other than turning to alcohol I don't know what to do. I'm not unattractive, but I feel like I'm too old (I'm 25, almost 26) to be figuring this stuff out. On top of that I'm in a very long term (since first week of college) straight relationship, and I think we've both about had it. I just don't know who to talk to about this- all our friends are both our friends. I think I know what I need to know about myself but I'm too chickenshit to find somebody to talk to. Long story short- what the fuck do I do? Nobody seems to care about these kind of issues; if I were a teenager I could probably get more help (not that it's easy to be a gay teenager, god knows, but more people want to help a sweet young kid than they do an awkward grad student).

by Edwinareply 3903/23/2013

That was r34, by the way.

Thanks so much. You guys are genuinely nice. It may not be immediately obvious to people who just see catty little remarks, but I think the vast, vast majority of people on here are sweet as hell.

by Edwinareply 4003/23/2013

You're an adult, R39. End your relationship with your current flame like an adult. Type "coming out" in a Google search and find 100s of resources instantly. There have to be at least a half dozen clubs in any sort of self-respecting college town where you can hang out with other gay people. If your mutual friends don't support you coming out, then they weren't really your friends.

by Edwinareply 4103/23/2013

That was not the truth. He said, "How could such a warm, lovely person over the telephone turn into anything so cold?" That's what he said right down on the porch. So I said, "You'd better go home." Never said good-bye or anything.

"How could such a warm, lovely woman over the telephone turn into something so cold?" I thought that was just a little too much.

by Edwinareply 4203/23/2013

Good idea OP. I agree with R14 too. And I think the anominity is stupid. If you're going to publicly post a comment that the whole world can read-have the balls to stand by it.

Oh, and to all the Chronic Fatigye Syndrome deniers who seem to love this site: Grow up, do a Google search, scientists are closing on objective peer-reviewed studies that will soon prove it is real, it is a living Hell and all the "Golden Girls" jokes are about as funny as AIDS jokes in the early 80's.

by Edwinareply 4303/23/2013

[quote]I'm in a very long term (since first week of college) straight relationship, and I think we've both about had it.

R39, I've been in a more than one relationship where I felt that way, & it was such a huge relief to say so & hear that the other person felt the same. Just tell her/him -- even if the other person doesn't feel the same way, he/she deserves to know how you feel, & why. Believe me, you're doing neither of you a favor by keeping mum about your feelings. However hard it is to speak the truth, you'll both be far better off in the long run.

Best of luck.

by Edwinareply 4403/23/2013

r44- what if I leave him and find out I've made a huge mistake? I just don't know anybody else who's been in this position- and divorce is such a big fucking deal. I feel like I'm at once too young and too old for this shit.

by Edwinareply 4503/23/2013

r45 then you learn you made a big mistake and you move on. I am a 40 year old straight female who just had the rug pulled out from me. I had my life change in so many ways over the past year and I am still reeling but I am still here to reel. You are too young, you are too old. It's a cliche and it sucks but you have to get on out of there, don't you have some more important shit to do? I know I did. I find my "more important shit" is coming here a lot and playing scrabble but it works for me. I swear, time helps, also not having douchey friends does too.

by Edwinareply 4603/24/2013

I hate to tell you OP, but a large percentage of the people on DL are in many ways mentally & emotionally deranged and defective. And the ones who aren't are smart enough to know better than to put themselves in a position of getting too close with anyone else here because the possibility of disaster is simply too great.

by Edwinareply 4703/24/2013

I hate to tell you OP, but since you started this thread for someone else that r47 didn't take the time to read about, despite his expert opinion, maybe you can tell our friend who wanted the thread started that people like r47 go to great lengths to shit on other people while knowing nothing about their story. I hate to tell you, OP, you must choose between the deranged or the people who can't be bothered to even read this before commenting.

by Edwinareply 4803/24/2013
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