The doctor said I need to make friends and join groups. If I could do that what the hell would I need him for?
I started therapy because I'm so socially awkward.
|by op, doomed||reply 29||03/22/2013|
Sounds like you need a different therapist. Don't hold your breath though. Shy people don't usually go into talking professions.
|by op, doomed||reply 1||03/21/2013|
I finally made my therapist realize that I'm just thoroughly introverted, am socially awkward and that's just the way it is. Getting him to accept it has helped me to accept it and, although I do get lonely on occasion, I feel very good overall.
|by op, doomed||reply 2||03/21/2013|
Do you pay these people for this shit?
|by op, doomed||reply 3||03/21/2013|
OP, it is a sad fact that counseling and/or therapy often do not have nor result in solutions to problems.
|by op, doomed||reply 4||03/21/2013|
[quote]Do you pay these people for this shit?
the insurance company does...
|by op, doomed||reply 5||03/21/2013|
This has been my experience of therapy. My father died when I was eight, and a partner died from AIDS (I fell for him before I knew he was positive). My therapist saw this as a pattern of being attracted to men who "leave" me through death.
|by op, doomed||reply 6||03/21/2013|
Order up some speech therapy for R4, please.
|by op, doomed||reply 7||03/21/2013|
I went for a career in therapy because I'm socially awkward.
|by op, doomed||reply 8||03/21/2013|
I don't even like to go to parties because I get anxious.
I've had to tell more than one doctor that there's no way in hell I'm doing group therapy (for depression), but that's more because I don't go around telling people my problems. That's not me!
|by op, doomed||reply 9||03/21/2013|
vipassana meditation, look into it
|by op, doomed||reply 10||03/21/2013|
OP. I applaud your bravery! You are far from doomed. Start small...buy a dog and walk him or go to a dog park. I promise you will meet at least one new person each time. Granted, some of these people MAY be women, but they like I have a Rolodex full of GMF's to have you join for a small dinner party. Get a really cute or handsome dog...preferably one that doesn't scream "Tammy Faye Bakker".
I wish I could help you. My job consists of working with men who are nearly all gay.
Best of luck love!
|by op, doomed||reply 11||03/21/2013|
The doctor's nurse asked me if I ever drank.
I told her maybe 3 times a yr.
She asked me if I ever got drunk.
I said usually on my birthday.
She said that made me an episodic DRUNK.
I said, "That's just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
|by op, doomed||reply 12||03/21/2013|
[quote]although I do get lonely on occasion, I feel very good overall.
At least you feel ok most of the time. I have the same problem and often feel awful because I don't have a life like "normal" people or can make friends with ease. I have no friends.
|by op, doomed||reply 13||03/21/2013|
r13, I have a ton of "friends" -- in movies and literature -- so that's how I combat loneliness.
The only thing I worry about is being alone when I'm old.
|by op, doomed||reply 14||03/21/2013|
Therapy for social awkwardness? It sounds like you are diagnosing yourself with a made-up disease.
I know plenty of people who are socially awkward. They are good friends, good people, and seem perfectly happy.
The fact that you feel the need to seek therapy for it is probably the source of a lot of your problems. Just stop being so self conscious about it and be who you are.
You're an awkward guy, who cares? There are plenty of awkward people out there and they are fine functioning members of society.
|by op, doomed||reply 15||03/21/2013|
I'm an introvert & I like it that way, so I don't seek therapy.
OP, if you want to stop being introverted, pay attention to the professional advice you're receiving.
But if you're too introverted to participate in activities with other people (as your therapist suggests), then you're not likely to ever stop being introverted.
And what's wrong with being an introvert? If you dislike it enough, you'll work on stopping -- otherwise, just relax & enjoy it -- it's not a crime or a disease.
|by op, doomed||reply 16||03/21/2013|
If you don't want to be an introvert than take your shrinks advice. You have to take the plunge nobody can do that for you.
|by op, doomed||reply 17||03/21/2013|
R14 don't worry about being old and alone.
I have three close friends, and some acquaintances, not much family. My brother and my friends will be old when I am old, if we all live. None of us will be able to help each other.
I have a long term care policy, and I will try to remain independent when I become much older. I intend to stay in my apartment with some paid assistance. Ultimately I may have to live in assisted living, perhaps die in a nursing home. So be it. I can't let fears of possibilities cripple me now.
|by op, doomed||reply 18||03/21/2013|
[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]
|by op, doomed||reply 19||03/21/2013|
Long term care insurance is for suckers. My Mom had it and 1) prices skyrocketed so her policy wouldn't have paid for half her expenses when she needed it; and 2) It was only good for three years anyway; and 3) care in the expensive nursing home is not one dime better than care in a Medicaid facility. Total ripoff.
|by op, doomed||reply 20||03/21/2013|
Makes me feel a little better to know that there are more folks out there that feel this way. Makes me feel a little less 'broken'.
As for old age and being alone, if euthanasia is not legal in the U.S. by then, I intend to be living somewhere where it is. I don't have a death wish, but I do want to die with dignity and without suffering.
I've had close family in nursing homes, dying a lingering death. It's cruel. We give our pets more dignified deaths.
|by op, doomed||reply 21||03/21/2013|
R20 you are wrong on many counts. That may be true for some policies, but you get what you pay for. My policy is not based on what care costs today, but on projected costs at the age when I may need it. In addition, not all care is commensurate. Policies differ in terms of how soon benefits kick in. Mine will begin 20 days after onset of illness/need. My policy is written in such a way that the amount paid for in home care is twice the amount paid for a nursing home. I plan to remain in my own home as long as possible.
My long term care insurance will also cover much of the expenses for assistance during a long term illness should that occur anytime between now and old age.
|by op, doomed||reply 22||03/21/2013|
Well you'd better read it carefully R22. Her policy cost her $1,400 a year, which she had paid in for twenty years, and got not one dime of benefit from in the end.
|by op, doomed||reply 23||03/22/2013|
R23 why did she not receive any benefit?
Again, I got mine at 56 because I have no close family and I was concerned that sometime long before I became infirm I might need it during an extended illness. I would need someone to help me at home, drive me, etc. while convalescing.
I did not buy a one size fits all policy, but one that fit my anticipated needs.
Like most insurance it is a hedge against a calamity one hopes will never occur.
|by op, doomed||reply 24||03/22/2013|
[quote] Therapy does more harm than good. mOST therapists are naricisitic and fucked up.
Therapy can be really helpful for many people.
But anyone who considers it needs to go into it with a realistic set of expectations.
Too many people go to one, two, maybe three sessions, and then decide that since their problems didn't go POOF and magically disappear, then it's not working/a joke/a bunch of shit.
Therapy is a lot of work. You have to open a lot of old boxes in the attic of your psyche, and you have to make yourself vulnerable. And that feels like shit at first. But it can be really effective at helping you to let go of old baggage, or find healthy ways to deal with people or situations in your life.
People also expect therapists to give them the answers. Good therapists seldom do that, but try to guide you to say them yourself so you can recognize your own issues, your own behavior, etc.
Even all of that aside, I always think talking to someone who is completely objective and neutral is a good thing. Family and friends can't be objective, no matter how much they might love you or what good intentions they have. It's better to get another perspective from someone who isn't emotionally invested.
|by op, doomed||reply 25||03/22/2013|
Quite frankly I don't get the appeal of socializing either. I am the happiest when I am alone with my cat and do alone stuff (watching TV, play computer games, surf on the internet, cook for myself, clean my home, do creative stuff like drawing, masturbate, etc.).
And the moment you feel forced to so something you won't like or appreciate doing it and find excuses to declare defeat or sabotage your endeavors so they will fail.
|by op, doomed||reply 26||03/22/2013|
Also, therapists are like boyfriends/girlfriends. The best work is done with someone you feel comfortable with.
(And no, that doesn't mean the CUTEST one, either.)
I've been to three in maybe 20 years. One of them wasn't a great fit for me, because I could tell he was being very prissy/judgy (and ironically he was the only gay man of the three).
If it seems like not a great match after two or three visits, then try someone else.
|by op, doomed||reply 27||03/22/2013|
I don't see therapists, even the good ones, as completely objective and neutral as r25 does. They bring their own baggage to the room with them. I don't mean that in a bad way--I don't think anybody can be objective and neutral.
They are also susceptible to psychological trends. About 20 years ago, when repressed memory was all the rage, I had one therapist who was so convinced that I had been molested as a child (and had forgotten about it) that she refused to accept any other possibility. No other therapist I've had bought into that particular theory (as it related to my experience, that is, not the theory itself).
|by op, doomed||reply 28||03/22/2013|
Did you think of it on your own? No. Shut up
|by op, doomed||reply 29||03/22/2013|