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Haunted house movie cliches

Does anyone EVER turn on a light? No one lives like this.

It would be nice if Hollywood could come up with a haunted house movie in a nice airy, well-lit house.

by Anonymousreply 5003/21/2013

Paranormal Activity takes place in a regular suburban house.

And most people turn off the lights at night which is when most of the spooky stuff happens in a horror movie anyway.

by Anonymousreply 103/20/2013

Ummm.... I don't know.... maybe move the fuck out of the house?

by Anonymousreply 203/20/2013

There's always a scene where someone opens a mirrored medicine cabinet, closes it, and, surprise, there's someone standing behind them. Or they wipe off a foggy bathroom mirror to reveal a monster or murderer standing behind them.

by Anonymousreply 303/20/2013

[quote]Or they wipe off a foggy bathroom mirror to reveal a monster or murderer standing behind them

by Anonymousreply 403/20/2013

"We can't find Cindy! Listen, we'll split up to look for her!"

That means Cindy is probably hanging from a meat hook, and everyone else is next.

by Anonymousreply 503/20/2013

I'm watching Sinister and put in on pause for a minute. This is another house that is dark and gloomy even in the day time. At night our protagonist up working at night here's sounds and goes looking in the dark. If I hear strange sounds at night you can damn well bet every light in the house is on.

by Anonymousreply 603/20/2013

Sinister is really starting to get creepy.

by Anonymousreply 703/20/2013

In nearly every hour film, for sure before 1980s the female would ALWAYS fall down whilst running away. So moronic.

by Anonymousreply 803/20/2013

Ghosts never haunted houses before Victorian Architecture.

What did Queen Victoria do to piss them off?

by Anonymousreply 903/20/2013

[quote]It would be nice if Hollywood could come up with a haunted house movie in a nice airy, well-lit house.


by Anonymousreply 1003/20/2013

Are you talking about The Shining R10? That hotel may have been large and airy but it was creepy as hell. Maybe because it was so secluded.

LOL R9. Very true. This place used to creep me out when I was a kid. It's the classic Victorian Goth. Supposedly it is haunted too.

by Anonymousreply 1103/21/2013

Ha! I opened this thread to post about Sinister, R6. There were deliciously creepy elements in that movie that kept me watching, but the protagonist has to be one of the dumbest in horror movie history. Turn on the goddamn lights, Ethan Hawke!

by Anonymousreply 1203/21/2013

Was I right about that house R12? Even in the daytime it was dark and no one ever turned a damn light on. That drove me crazy.

I have to say though that the creepy factor was almost up there with Insidious, which scared the shit out of me and I don't scare easily.

by Anonymousreply 1303/21/2013

You don't want to be a minority, they are always first to go.

by Anonymousreply 1403/21/2013

R6, you're right. They ate breakfast in the gloomy kitchen, walked through the gloomy living room. It's one thing to try and capture a mood but another to overdo it.

And *Spoiler Alert* the movie totally lost me with the introduction of the ghost children in their bad makeup and slo-mo running. The slo-mo and the reveal turned the film from atmospheric and scary to silly. Less is more. Wish they'd only shown the kids committing the murders on the film and not shown them *pop* away after saying "shhh."

by Anonymousreply 1503/21/2013

I guess horror filmmakers had pretty much run through their repertoire of scares by the 1960s which is why they had to turn to gore to keep audiences interested.

by Anonymousreply 1603/21/2013

They never seem to be able find their keys or they fumble around, in pockets or purse, for them trying to get in the car. Usually my keys are in hand before I go to the car.

by Anonymousreply 1703/21/2013

The biggest cliché is that a ghost can kill you.

by Anonymousreply 1803/21/2013

Dumb hot frat jock: Hey babe, let's go fuck.

Dumb hot chick: Okay

Cut to pre-fucking. Dumb jot chick takes off her shirt and bra and straddles dumb hot frat jock.

Dumb hot frat jock: Oh babe, you're so hot

(Dumb hot chick giggles then stops.}

Dumb hot chick: Did you hear that Chad?

Dumb hot frat jock: Naw babe, just the beating of my heart for you.

Dumb hot chick: Oh Chad!

Cut to sex scene.

Dumb hot frat jock: Oh babe

Dumb hot chick: Did you hear that?

Dumb hot frat jock: No.

Dumb hot chick: Someone's out there, they watching.

Dumb hot frat jock: Let 'em watch.

Dumb hot chick: It's creepy. Chad go make them stop.

Dumb hot frat jock: Now!?!

Dumb hot chick: I'll be here when you get back. (Smiles seductively)

Dumb hot frat jock: Oh alright. I'll be right back. Don't move. This will only take a second.

Cut to 20 minutes later

Dumb hot chick: Where's Chad? Maybe I'd better go look for him.

by Anonymousreply 1903/21/2013

[quote] Paranormal Activity takes place in a regular suburban house.

If anything, the all too regular suburban house is now the rule and the Victorian gothic pile the exception -- for many years now.

by Anonymousreply 2003/21/2013

Women often go up in the attic in their underpants. When women get killed off, the cliche is to show them REALLY suffer for extended period of times whereas men just get killed quickly without any snuff movie-like sadistic voyeurism.

by Anonymousreply 2103/21/2013

I despise slasher movies now. I enjoyed Halloween but they've really gone over the deep end with the torture porn.

by Anonymousreply 2203/21/2013

R14, So true. However, one of the things I loved about the Scream franchise was that it called out all of those horror cliche's and flipped them on their head.

A minority in Scream 2, a noted African American actor, Duane Martin played Gayle's camera man. As soon as he realizes that Ghost Face is back he quits his job working for Gayle and leaves town *immediately* thus surviving the movie.

Also Brandy was in I Still Know What You Did Last summer plays Jennifer Love's best friend and shocks the audience by surviving the film although she's nearly killed a few times.

by Anonymousreply 2303/21/2013

One of the reasons I liked Scary Movie 1 and 2 is they made fun of all the cliches.

by Anonymousreply 2403/21/2013

Most horror movies have madonna/whore syndrome.

by Anonymousreply 2503/21/2013

1. Always go TOWARDS the scary sound, preferably with a shaky flashlight that will click off at the worst possible time.

2. Fix it so that you are staying ALONE in a big, scary house to either work on a project, recover from a nervous breakdown or babysit children who, apparently, spend most of their time in bed fast asleep and who never hear anything.

3.Let your curiosity override your fear or common sense. "What WAS that? Better go see."

4. Never call the police, a friend or 911 first.

5. Make sure to go to the library and look up old newspaper clippings on an ancient microfiche machine. The exact information you need is always going to be there. Usually a murder(s) was committed in the house. Or someone went insane. Or was tortured. Or all three.

6. Don't move out or even leave the house until someone is dead or goes missing.

7. Get angry and scream at the ghosts. Phrases like "Why are you doing this to me" or "What do you want" are good.

8. Before you drive off, stand by the car staring up at the haunted house. There will be someone in the window, either at the beginning of the film or the end.

by Anonymousreply 2603/21/2013

[quote]4. Never call the police, a friend or 911 first.

Are you kidding? The phones are always out or they can't get cell reception.

by Anonymousreply 2703/21/2013

A few more.

9. If you get a strange package, open it.

10. If you get a strange letter, read it.

11. There is always a knife somewhere in the kitchen for you to grab and walk around with.

12. If you open the door to the basement, odds are good you are going to fall down/be pushed down the stairs. Be assured the lights will go off at some point, too.

13. Friends and family will never arrive in time to help you. They will either arrive just AFTER you have been injured, killed or disappear. And the same fate is likely to await them depending upon how stupid they are. "Mary, MARY, are you in here?" WHAP!

14. Never question why or how you bought a house for pennies on the dollar or what the history of the house is. Especially don't give a thought as to why the prior owners fled the house in terror. In a scary movie, that is normal.

by Anonymousreply 2803/21/2013

Creaky wooden floorboards/stairs.

Creepy child looking at a stranger and saying, "They're coming for you/You're gonna die", or some such.

A dark and stormy night.

"I gotta go take a leak." = death.

by Anonymousreply 2903/21/2013

It is never, ever over when you think it is. The ghost will always come back.

by Anonymousreply 3003/21/2013

Don't forget to lock the cat in the closet so it can jump out at you when you go looking for those strange sounds.

by Anonymousreply 3103/21/2013

Off topic for a bit.

If you moved into a brand new house and started hearing and seeing weird things, would you automatically just move the fuck out or would you at the very least investigate to see what's going on?

Once you discovered that your house used to be the home of a satanic cult or built over a burial ground, then you can think about moving.

by Anonymousreply 3203/21/2013

You must always trip and fall in retreat and turn over to see threat approaching.

by Anonymousreply 3303/21/2013

Always stand with your back to an open room, door, etc.

by Anonymousreply 3403/21/2013

To answer your question OP: hardly ever. Maybe they don't pay their power bills?

My gripe: someone comes home, door is ajar or open, person walks into dark room. Has no one ever told him/her to call the police? Is curiosity really that overwhelming?

by Anonymousreply 3503/21/2013

OF course 90% of what you all have written applied to CSI as well.

by Anonymousreply 3603/21/2013

I love how in the teen scream movies, the babysitter hears something, takes out the earbuds (which are blasting ear splitting music) for a minute, makes a half-assed attempt to seek out the "disturbance" and then inevitably shrugs and puts them back in. "Doopty doop de doop." Meanwhile killer/ghost approaches unnoticed.

by Anonymousreply 3703/21/2013

I love it when stupid teens wearing earbuds and blasting music get it. I feel that way when I see people like that in real life too. When I walk I like to be able to hear the sounds of nature and any traffic coming up behind me.

I don't understand why so many people have to have noise constantly blasting in their ears.

by Anonymousreply 3803/21/2013

Ghosts and demons need to run past doorways- always when your back is turned.

by Anonymousreply 3903/21/2013

If you think there's a prowler in the back yard, by all means send the dog outside to check it out and get slaughtered.

Teenagers are more likely to be murdered if they're in the middle of having sex.

If another character in the movie tells your character that they've seen and heard strange things in the night, and they don't like this house, dismiss everything they say as an over-active imagination.

If you pull up carpet and find a pentagram, just shrug it off and scrub it off the floor. It means nothing--no biggie.

If you discover a gateway to hell in your basement, just shrug that off too and call it a crawl space. Be sure and tell your kids to stay out of there, so that they'll want to go investigate it later, preferably in the middle of a dark and rainy night when you're not home.

When you finally realize you're living in a haunted house and you try to make your escape, there will be thunder and lightning outside and every single door in the house will not open, no matter how hard you twist and pull at the doorknob, and somehow, banging on the door from the inside does not magically make the door open.

by Anonymousreply 4003/21/2013

Wow, it sure is fascinating to hear what a lot of horror movies some of you have synthesized. No one ever talks about the cliches of this genre, so it's good to hear about this.

by Anonymousreply 4103/21/2013

When using an old landline phone that suddenly goes dead, you have to press the receiver button several times and say, over and over, "hello....hello....HELLO!!!

by Anonymousreply 4203/21/2013

If you're sick of haunted house cliches, I recommend the early-70s film "Don't Look Now".

The ancient city of Venice is the "haunted house" in that film, most of the spooky stuff takes place outdoors.

by Anonymousreply 4303/21/2013

Women never seem to find all their clothes when running for safety.

You hardly ever see a man half-naked and crawling for safety.

by Anonymousreply 4403/21/2013

Poltergeist broke all the haunted house cliches. A bright suburban house, with bright suburban people, hardly any cheap scares. No screeching cats in a tense scene. No death after sex. It was more of a thrill ride than scary, but I saw it when it came out and it was effective. Plus my parents house looked a lot like their house, so the thrill continued when I tried to go to sleep that night.

by Anonymousreply 4503/21/2013

The thing I liked about Poltergeist was that the neighbors were witness to the HORROR! The scene in the hole for the swimming pool, all the neighbors on the street when the house disappeared.

by Anonymousreply 4603/21/2013

Dear Webbie,

I travel all over Europe and have access to literally hundreds of IP addresses.

Trying to ban or block me will only make it worse.

I am harmless.

Get over yourself.

by Anonymousreply 4703/21/2013

Ooh, r47 is schpooky!

by Anonymousreply 4803/21/2013

I've never seen a cell phone not work anywhere but in a horror movie.

by Anonymousreply 4903/21/2013

R49 I must live in a horror movie. I get terrible reception at home.

by Anonymousreply 5003/21/2013
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