My neighbors are constantly having LOUD marathon sex
Im startled several times a week by blood curdling screams of what I think is someone being murdered, only to hear power thumping on my ceiling. Their method is really sporadic. It will go dead silent for 30-45 minutes, just enough time for me to get back into deep sleep. Then all of a sudden, it's like an earthquake for 30 seconds with her screaming profanity and their bed about fall through on top of me. They have hardwood floors and I can hear him push the bed or furniture back in place after he's done fucking her brains out. This went on from 2AM to 6AM this morning. I was like a zombie at work today.
Im not getting laid right now for a number of reasons, my life is the most stressful it has ever been, and I REALLY need my sleep. Yet I continue to tolerate these rude mutherfuckers because Im so turned on!
|by Sleepy||reply 42||04/05/2013|
And how many times have you jerked off to it? Ive been in a lot of hotel situations where I can hear my neighbors fucking and I always end up having to jerk off.
|by Sleepy||reply 1||03/18/2013|
I can't imagine having to live next to perverts like that.
|by Sleepy||reply 2||03/18/2013|
Ask them to keep it down. If they can't contain their love either:
Use a white noise machine and wait until they get pregnant. Then the crying baby noise will lull you to sleep.
And/or before you go on vacation duct tape a speaker to your ceiling hooked up to a porno full blast on an endless loop.
|by Sleepy||reply 4||03/18/2013|
No more than five times r1. Im usually so wiped out by the time they start their sessions, and some of them are quieter.
Ive also dropped by my apartment in the middle of the workday, and heard them. I thought they were having work done in their apartment, thats how hard the bed was rocking the ceiling. She let out the loudest shriek Ive heard to date so I knew it was just them fucking again.
It is overall a very loud building next to public transit so people feel like they can be as loud as they fucking please at all hours. Lots of unsavory people.
|by Sleepy||reply 6||03/18/2013|
Record them then play it back sometime over your stereo with the volume on high.
|by Sleepy||reply 9||03/18/2013|
Get a broom and bang on the ceiling. That usually quiets them down. Do they work?
If all else fails do as R9 said and play it back loudly into the street.
|by Sleepy||reply 10||03/18/2013|
I love listening to my neighbors fuck. Huge turn-on.
But they never do anymore.
OP, you should record it and post it.
|by Sleepy||reply 11||03/18/2013|
Update: so last night was much quieter. I woke up to pee at 2AM and they were going at it, but it was not the outrageous porn like it was on Monday morning. The building was quiet and I could hear her moaning off and on. I heard filthy talk from him for the first time and it was really, really hot.
|by Sleepy||reply 12||03/19/2013|
Record them and play it back to them (amplified) when they're trying to sleep.
They'll get the hint.
|by Sleepy||reply 13||03/19/2013|
r13, the problem is that they are only loud in small bursts that last for 10 or 20 seconds, and it could be an hour between their epic climaxes. And gurl.... they are EPIC! This only happens maybe one or two nights a week. I tried record them last night but they werent loud enough and the acoustics of my apartment are not the best.
Anyway, Im jealous of the two of them!
|by Sleepy||reply 14||03/19/2013|
He must have a huge cock that doesnt quit
|by Sleepy||reply 15||03/21/2013|
Are they an attractive couple,if they are fug, how would that turn you on, visually ugly people are fucking? ugh.
They sound like exhibitionists, usually people try to muffle their sex sounds, especially when they live in such close quarters like apartment buildings.
As another poster asked, do they work? You heard them during the day as well as nightly? Are they trustafarians?
If these assholes are keeping you from sleep, which affects the rest of your day, I would tell them what you hear, knock on their door and tell them, if they smile about it, they are surely exhibitionists.
Most people don't scream bloody murder every time they have sex, especially women, it seems it's all for show.
Have you discussed this with other neighbors, the person above them must also be hearing them. You cannot be the only neighbor hearing their sex sessions.
|by Sleepy||reply 16||03/21/2013|
[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]
|by Sleepy||reply 17||03/21/2013|
I'm never lonelier than after I blow a listening to other people fuck load.
|by Sleepy||reply 19||03/21/2013|
Well, while you're lying there - jerking along - you ought to vocalise as loud as them. Really let go!
|by Sleepy||reply 20||03/21/2013|
r17, I live on the second floor and they the third. That is EXACTLY what happens with the banshee above me, she lets it simmer for 30 minutes and then lets out her screams like someone is killing her.
I have no idea what they look like since they dont live on my floor. Im kind of glad I dont, even though I am curious. I know they are pretty young to have sex so much. From the sound of the guy's dirty talk, he is on the thuggish side.
|by Sleepy||reply 21||03/21/2013|
[quote]From the sound of the guy's dirty talk, he is on the thuggish side.
I have just lost interest in this thread.
|by Sleepy||reply 22||03/21/2013|
Well then R22, move it along toots.
|by Sleepy||reply 23||03/21/2013|
I like R20's idea. Copy their moans and say what they say really loud so they can hear you.
|by Sleepy||reply 24||03/21/2013|
What makes you think I haven't already moved it along?
|by Sleepy||reply 25||03/21/2013|
R22/25, I didn't. But now by responding to me, you've told me in no uncertain terms.
|by Sleepy||reply 27||03/21/2013|
Thuggish talk. My specialty. With my huge dick and stroke game. No one, but no one has ever complained. Sometimes they cry and sometimes they beg, twice he passed out but they never complain.
|by Sleepy||reply 28||03/22/2013|
Mock screams always work and it's hilarious. Start screaming right after they're done and try to sound exactly like her
|by Sleepy||reply 30||03/22/2013|
R30 has it right. Scream immediately after each scream from her. Until you do that, they may not even know they can be heard.
|by Sleepy||reply 31||03/23/2013|
Cheer them on. Invite friends over to help.
|by Sleepy||reply 32||03/23/2013|
Slip a score card under their door after each encounter. 1 - 10 points.
|by Sleepy||reply 33||03/23/2013|
Can you smell meth from another apartment?
|by Sleepy||reply 34||03/23/2013|
Update: So they have gotten much quieter, but I can still hear them if I feel like being nosy. Last night they fucked sporadically from 12am to 3am. He has incredible stamina, that's all I can say. I could hear her moan and pant very quietly, and there was a very faint squeaky sound on the ceiling.
My next door neighbor, who I hate for just being a loud obnoxious asshole gargoyle, was apparently on to them too last night. He shouted "louder!" and his girlfriend hollered like she was cumming. I could hear them both laughing after.
|by Sleepy||reply 35||03/28/2013|
Call the cops and tell them it sounds like someone is being attacked. The cops will go there, tell them some concerned citizen reported a crime in progress. If they have any modesty they will be embarrassed. You won't be in trouble because you only heard what you thought. If the cops come back to talk to you, tell them they were disturbing the peace.
|by Sleepy||reply 36||03/28/2013|
[quote]My next door neighbor, who I hate for just being a loud obnoxious asshole gargoyle, was apparently on to them too last night. He shouted "louder!" and his girlfriend hollered like she was cumming.
Banshee above and Gargoyle next door? I could never live in an apartment building. Christ.
|by Sleepy||reply 37||03/28/2013|
I suggest that you start sleeping in the living room on your couch and shut your bedroom door...it may block out some of the sound. Noisy neighbors can be a real pain in the ass.
|by Sleepy||reply 39||03/28/2013|
Damn, I wish I had their stamina. Do they work?
|by Sleepy||reply 40||03/28/2013|
r40 I think they have odd working hours or one works and the other one doesn't. A lot of times I've heard them going at it right when I get home at 6pm. Hell, she might work just to take care of him. Getting laid that well almost everyday might make me do something crazy like that. She cums multiple times a night.
He could be a drug dealer, there are a lot of those shady characters that live in my building too. I can tell he is somewhat of a thug. I actually heard him climax a little the other night, it was hot to finally hear him moaning! Im starting to feel like the third party when they do it.
|by Sleepy||reply 41||03/29/2013|
They have toned it down a lot, thank goodness. I still heard them every night this week when I wake up to pee. Im seriously considering the threesome note!
|by Sleepy||reply 42||04/05/2013|