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Why I hate Grindr, Scruff, Squirt, Manhunt ... et al

It's not because I'm anti-sex or anti-slutty hookup. I'm not. I just find the sexual media method of hooking up extremely frustrating and ultimately unsuccessful. I end up chatting with guys I'm not attracted to because I don't want to be rude. And when I DO chat with someone I'm interested in it never goes anywhere. Just endless chat. No hook up.

Sure, I've chatted with guys who seemed nice and interesting and who could be potential friends. But that ever goes anywhere either. No one ever meets.

If I want to get laid I would much rather connect with an existing FB or go to a bathhouse. It's much more matter of fact.

These hook up apps are creating an entire generation of queerlings who have no social or sexual skills.

by Anonymousreply 4201/31/2014

they don't make it easier.

by Anonymousreply 103/18/2013

Social media has replaced bars for the S&M crowd: stand and model. All talk and BS, no action.

by Anonymousreply 303/18/2013

I quit all of it. ALL of it!

And then I met a great guy.

by Anonymousreply 403/18/2013

What R4 says.

by Anonymousreply 503/18/2013

It's all about the intention. What do you want and where did you get what you want based on past experiences? It's one thing to be open for new ways to meet people, but it's downright masochistic to go back to something that didn't work out for you several times before.

by Anonymousreply 603/18/2013

[quote]It's a completely different world now; to get through it, you need a different set of social skills than those that people had pre-1990s.

You mean like interpersonal skills? The ability to carry on an actual conversation with a live human being? Good manners? Etiquette? Writing?

Those are fairly universal skills that you still need to function in the world. Even today's world.

by Anonymousreply 803/18/2013

Good for you OP, don't do it and leave those who do alone.

by Anonymousreply 903/18/2013

What's funny is that to the guys you're chatting with that you are interested in and yet it doesn't go anywhere?

To that guy you're the guy they're chatting with because they don't want to be rude, but don't find you remotely attractive.

by Anonymousreply 1003/18/2013

Oh shit, manners.

by Anonymousreply 1103/18/2013

you know it is going nowhere but Annoyingtowne when that first word that comes at you is "sup?"

by Anonymousreply 1203/18/2013

They somewhat remind me of the old I used to hook up on that regularly. After a while it became the same old guys. Grindr and scruff are the same. I don't have a profile on either, but do open the app everyone in a while. Without fail 80% of the profiles shown were the same ones I saw last time. At least 2 guys have the same pic now as they did on

I go to the bars when I'm horny, usually find someone no problem.

by Anonymousreply 1303/18/2013

[quote]To that guy you're the guy they're chatting with because they don't want to be rude, but don't find you remotely attractive.

There is certainly that possibility. I'm not saying there isn't. But I'm not as persistent as some guys seem to be. If there's obviously no reciprocal interest I won't pursue further.

Anyway, it's all moot now. I'm done with all that.

I feel free and not chained to my iPhone.

by Anonymousreply 1403/19/2013

BREAKING NEWS! Bathhouse slut complains that social networking apps aren't fast enough for her!

by Anonymousreply 1503/19/2013

OP, people who complain about Manhunt et al are boring. You haven't figured out how to make social networking work for you. Manhunt is not a menu. You still have to have social skills to get what you want.

I guess lying face down at a bathhouse works better for you. More obvious, less challenging.

by Anonymousreply 1603/19/2013

Each time someone message me I reply..

"Do you want to suck me, or am I going to fuck you?'

They respond, if affirmative I respond...

"Address? Now cunt I'm horny."

This is what works when it comes to social skills on these apps. Conversation is not a part of it, nor are any real social skills.

Upon entering the apartment (50% of the time the door is unlocked and they are naked) I tell them to 'get to work'.

by Anonymousreply 1703/19/2013

R4, I quit all of it... and now I'm just alone.

by Anonymousreply 1803/19/2013

They're just not that into you. If you were hot, guys would have no problem meeting up with you. Trust me.

by Anonymousreply 1903/19/2013

R18, you're better off. Most of the stains using those hook-up apps lie about everything from marital status to HIV status. Idiots, the lot of them.

by Anonymousreply 2003/19/2013

by Anonymousreply 2203/19/2013

R21 - You know straight people have sex too, right? Lots of it. Go on Xhamster and search for "orgy" or "swingers" and be amazed. And a little disgusted.

by Anonymousreply 2303/19/2013

[quote]This is why gay people will never get any respect or be accepted. You can't think past your dick.

Half of the gay population doesn't have a dick. Oh--and straight guys can't think past their dicks, either. Haven't you noticed?

by Anonymousreply 2403/19/2013

OP, you're absolutely right. Technology has almost never assisted in ensuring a sexual contact along desired expectations, except when it involves a phone call to a reputable agency with plenty of cash behind it.

PLUS cam4 and the like have further supported development of a cohort of no-touch, game-playing asses for whom the notion of actual physical contact is neither expected nor wanted.

But that's only for the people who rely on those tools. Go on. Get out there in the real world where real men are hungry for real sex with another real man!

by Anonymousreply 2503/19/2013

"Half of the gay population doesn't have a dick."

You mean bottoms, right?

by Anonymousreply 2603/19/2013

It's a valid complaint, but it's pretty much applicable to social media in general: it discourages people from actual social interaction and from developing the skills to even be able to engage in actual social interaction. We shouldn't be surprised that the consequences extend to sex, which is kind of the ultimate arbiter of social skill.

by Anonymousreply 2703/19/2013

Oh please, R27. MH is just like the real world - there's something for everyone if you know how to present yourself and not just in terms of appeal to other people but in terms of attracting the right people for you. There are just as many idiots in the real world as there are online - technology hasn't transformed them, they were always that way.

by Anonymousreply 2803/19/2013

Desperation is not an aphrodisiac.

Say in your profile what you are looking for, have the relaxed open minded 'whatever' attitude during chats, and focus / enjoy the hook-ups that do happen.

I've seen more average looking guys scoring hot dates and hookups that way than desperate drugged out model type guys who look for their next fix (of drugs and sex - preferrably both at the same time).

by Anonymousreply 2903/19/2013

R17 is proof of how little we've evolved since we split from the apes.

by Anonymousreply 3003/19/2013

R28, sweetie, you do realize that those in the "real world" and those online are the same people--just interacting differently, and that is the whole point? They aren't different populations? I'm sure that hiding behind a keyboard feels good for you, so it's hard to hear that you are indeed hiding and dysfunctional. But it's good for you.

by Anonymousreply 3103/19/2013

There are certain social cues and interpersonal subtleties that social media can never duplicate. Not to mention a very primal sexual attraction one person has for another. You have to be in a person's physical presence to know if you REALLY want to fuck them. That can't happen online. All you see there are tiny little photos of faces, cocks, and asses.

by Anonymousreply 3203/19/2013

OP, Mayor Bloomberg is on to you and he's pushing hard for a new law that limits the quantity of cum you can swallow in a single day.

by Anonymousreply 3303/19/2013

How old are you OP?

by Anonymousreply 3403/19/2013

Everything in moderation.

I dip in now and then.

Any more than once every couple of days ruins it for me.

by Anonymousreply 3501/31/2014

What freaks me out is I clearly state on Grindr I cannot host and I am NOT looking for Right Now, and I get guys still saying "come on over, I am middle eastern and I want to blow you"

I also get 18 year old kids chatting me up. I Am 49 Years Old, I tell them and they are like "That's ok!" I just block them since I am assuming they are all hustlers.

by Anonymousreply 3601/31/2014

I don’t get all the Grindr bashing. I think it’s pretty good for hook-ups. I’m not sure if it is the perfect tool to find Mr. Right, but if you’re horny, want to get off, and can’t be bothered to go downtown into a bar it’s pretty good. I’ve met up with people I would’ve never met otherwise, because we would never frequent the same type of bars.

by Anonymousreply 3701/31/2014

I enjoy the Awkward Grindr Twitter account.

by Anonymousreply 3801/31/2014

[quoteIf I want to get laid I would much rather connect with an existing FB or go to a bathhouse. It's much more matter of fact. These hook up apps are creating an entire generation of queerlings who have no social or sexual skills

This is the funniest thing I've read on here in a long time.

Whoring at some bath house makes you feel socially and sexually superior to people who find their sex online?

by Anonymousreply 3901/31/2014

I'm a better class of slut, R39!

by Anonymousreply 4001/31/2014

[quote]Whoring at some bath house makes you feel socially and sexually superior to people who find their sex online?

First of all, I am not a prostitute, so it's not called whoring. I don't charge money for sex. I am not a whore. I am a slut. Get it right.

Second, I didn't imply that the bathhouse method of hooking up was superior. It's just preferable TO ME. I find it more expedient when all I want is a quick fuck. Plus, there I'm able to experience the in-person attraction to someone and tell right away if I want to fuck them or not.

Third, yes, in general terms I do think this reliance on social media is creating a generation of people who don't know how to interact with other people unless a smart phone or a computer is involved. I'm always amazed when I'm in a bar or a restaurant and a table full of young people is all furiously tapping away on their phones instead of talking to each other. It's a generation of social retards with future vision problems. I'm certainly not the first person to make this observation.

by Anonymousreply 4101/31/2014

I've tried them all, met a boyfriend from one app. But mainly it's a diversion and a waste if you really want to meet someone.

by Anonymousreply 4201/31/2014
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