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What makes a frau a frau?

Could someone devise a DSM-IV esque checklist? I'm scared I might turn into one without early intervention.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 8104/03/2013

1. Can reach into casserole cookbook collection to let you have one to take home, OP.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 103/17/2013

German, married.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 203/17/2013

Loving and living in NYC makes you a frau. NYC is over.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 303/17/2013

Do you look like any of these gals?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 403/17/2013

DL frau criteria:

1. You have a vagina

2. See #1

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 503/17/2013

Married, religious (which gives her a license to be bigoted), whole life is kids and her babyman of a hubby. Usually a few extra pounds. Not intellectually curious (the Bible can explain everything she needs to know). Reads romance novels.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 603/17/2013

This living room:

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 703/17/2013

If this makes you shit your pants in anticipation, you're a....

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 803/17/2013

Some of them are Claymates.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 903/17/2013

That is Frau to the Fifth, R9.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1003/17/2013

Fake friendliness.

Extreme need for self-validation and a space to complain about things she is too stupid to understand.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1103/17/2013

What makes a frau a frau is a whole collection of things. R6 makes a good start, but I think there's a required fascination/obsession with trivialities... mouse sweaters, scrapbooking, decorating the office for every single possible holiday as if it were important... precious moments figurines, four hundred photos of her cat or dog on her desk...

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1203/17/2013

So nice of r6 to share a pic of his mom with us.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1303/17/2013

Age: 35 or higher

Weight: BMI at least 25, the overweight zone, and most likely above 30, the obesity zone

Fashion: "Sensible" styles from Kohl's and JCPenney

Children: Several, and she'll be happy to spend HOURS telling you all about their every bowel movement!

Spouse: Started gaining weight as soon as he married, now fatter than his wife, fantasizes about Kate Upton in order to get it up to fuck his wife, spends his Sundays guzzling beer on the couch and watching sports

Job: Clerical, boring, something that will keep her cube-bound until retirement

Favorite artist: Thomas Kinkade (may he rest in peace!!!)

Favorite musical artist: Enya

Car: Beat-up 10-year-old Chrysler minivan or similar

Favorite pastime at work: it's a tie between interoffice gossip and birthdays where she gets a huge slice of cake (and sneaks a second one into her bottom desk drawer, to be consumed when no one's looking)

Daytime diet: Lean Cuisines stashed in the office fridge, because she's always trying to "lose a few," combined with the secret candy stash that will forever prevent her from losing a thing

Favorite celebrities: Oprah, Sandra Bullock, and "dreamy" Hugh Jackman because he's "such a manly man!!"

Favorite Web sites: iVillage, TMZ and a little site called DataLounge

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1403/17/2013

Oh thank Christ, I am none of these things. I do have a vagina and live in a flyover state, so I understand I'm more susceptible than most. I'll be vigilant.

I actually work in a school with 41 women and 2 men. I'd estimate 37 of those women could be accurately called fraus. We have LOTS of potato luncheons, planned Girls' Nights, and wearing of ugly Christmas sweaters. (We had an anonymous complaint by an employee that she didn't believe Christmas sweaters could be ugly because they celebrate Jesus, so we had to change it to "Fabulous Christmas Sweater Day".

I don't have a lot of friends at work.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1503/17/2013

I don't want this to be an anti-fat thread. Or anti-vagina.

The key points of a frau are the passive agressiveness, the wanting it both ways (inability to solve a problem on her own, but blaming you for taking the solution out of her hands and making her look bad) and the I-love-Jesus-but-stab-everyone-in-the-back narratives.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1603/17/2013

#14, I think you mean Yanni or John Tesh (though she likes to throw around Andrea Bocelli's name to sound ra-sha-sha).

Enya would be too incense-airy-fairy for her. Might lead to witchcraft.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1703/17/2013

I'd say any Caucasian heterosexual female over the age of 25 with a household income of less than $100,000 is a frau unless proven otherwise.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 1803/17/2013

I am a homofaggotqueerguy and I like casseroles (unless they contain broccoli or celery).

To me, a "frau" is a woman who lives through her self-identification as a mommy.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2003/17/2013

R7 that is one of the ugliest rooms I've ever seen.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2103/17/2013

Why can't lesbians be fraus? A lot of fraus look like they could be lesbians though they're not.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2203/17/2013

[quote]Enya would be too incense-airy-fairy for her. Might lead to witchcraft.

I agree. Hail Satan!

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2303/17/2013

They go to figure skating comps and knit during practice sessions...and eat massive quantities of Entenmann's whilst doing so.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2403/17/2013

I don't think I'm a frau (I'm a slender, agnostic male), but I love Entenmann's and casseroles!

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2503/17/2013

R19 Sorry to burst your bubble, but I am neither fat nor female. I have a big cock and a hairy chest, thank you very much.

My point was that just having a vag does not a frau make. I like women who have their shit together and are fully formed, well rounded people.

Fraus are all about the things I mentioned.

Oh - and btw, fuck off.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2603/17/2013

R22 -- lesbians can be fraus if they're all wrapped up in their kiddies n stuff.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2703/17/2013

What makes a sad asshole a sad asshole?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2803/17/2013

From what I've observed in my office, Frau 2013 is a person who just gave up "kettlebells" in exchange for Zumba (and changes into her Zumba outfits in the communal ladies' room at 5 pm sharp).

She also leaves "for a few minutes" around 3 pm to pick up her dimwitted 14-year-old from school, and then installs him in the conference room with a laptop and DVDs.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 2903/17/2013

By the way - apparently "Zumba" is some update on Jazzercise that uses Latin pop music. (I had to look it up the first time I heard her going on about it.)

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3003/18/2013

A decent "Spaghetti Chicken" recipe!

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3103/18/2013

A closet full of plus-sized Quacker Factory sweaters.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3203/18/2013

I think it has something to do with fibromyalgia and peanut allergies too.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3303/18/2013

When a "special day" includes lunch at Cracker Barrel and shopping for clothes at Coldwater Canyon or Dress Barn.

When their schedule at work consists of the following:

Thinking about what they'd like to have for lunch, talking about what they'd like to have for lunch, narrowing down what they'd like to eat, actually ordering it, eating it, then walking around to everyone else's cubicle to see what they ate, where they got it and how it tasted, and then spending the rest of the day talking about how good X or Y's lunch looked, and how much they wished they'd have eaten that, instead.

Time elapsed: 9.0 hours

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3403/18/2013

Why should anyone give a shit that women get really obsessed with their kids? Unless you want their attention on you, that is.

Think of the nightmares kids turn into when they're neglected. Even the bitterest DL queen has to admit that a society of neglected children would be much worse.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3503/18/2013

Someone who makes the rules and feels entitled to do so.

When something is wrong (usually their own self esteem, shocking self delusion and an overall rotten outlook) they consistently blame their favorite blame-worthy scapegoat.

They lust after men who will never be interested in them & resent and talk shit about women who attracted the heart throb they were entitled to. And the guy will invariably see the light & be sleeping with them someday after he tires of his bitch bride.

Oh wait.... that's fags. Never mind.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3603/18/2013

Why are you guys so obsessed with straight women?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3703/18/2013

Misogyny.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3803/18/2013

[quote]I am neither fat nor female. I have a big cock and a hairy chest, thank you very much.

R16/R26, tell me more. Single?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 3903/18/2013

No, it's not obsession with straight women. Or misogyny.

I've said it before and will say it again - I know many women who are awesome and have it together.

Fraus? Aren't among them. For many of the reasons listed herein.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4003/18/2013

"To me, a "frau" is a woman who lives through her self-identification as a mommy." A heartfelt Thank you from a weirdo, 40 year old single woman with no babies. Sometimes, I just wanna slap the bitch who says: Well, you're not getting any younger.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4203/18/2013

Could a frau also be a woman who tries too hard but misses the mark? I'm in my car watching a young women walk with her husband, she has on slightly too tight dress pants, a couple layered shirts (also tight), a gigantic Talbot's scarf, 3"-heeled mules, and a Coach bag. She can't walk gracefully in the mules, nothing really matches or clashes enough to be provocative, and shit is jiggling where her midsection is fighting with the waistband of her pants and the bottom of the shirt.

I don't dare to criticize her for her weight, as I've been there and remember all too well the fear that I might be waddling or busting out of something at any given moment. At the same time, I also knew wearing unflattering Macy's sale rack clothes that might look spectacular on a model-tall and thin girl wouldn't do me any favors.

This couple didn't have kids, but she just screamed future frau to me. So I wonder if fraus are any women who don't have the natural self-awareness, style, or whatever to avoid looking tragic to others who ARE hyperaware and possibly shallow (like me).

Maybe ignorance is bliss. God knows these women all seem happy.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4303/18/2013

A frau thinks that Clay Aiken's sexuality is "no one's business" but will talk about Jennifer Aniston's dating and marriage habits like...well, no one's business.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4403/18/2013

What makes a fag a fag?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4503/19/2013

and?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4603/19/2013

Get a life, OP. Most fraus are happier than you'll ever be.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4703/19/2013

How's your Precious Moments collection coming, R47?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4803/19/2013

R14 pretty much nailed it. The only thing I would add is they also are always the ones who want to have potlucks and do "team building".

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 4903/19/2013

A frau loves to watch all the singing competition reality shows and then discuss them the next day at work.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5003/19/2013

[qupte] A frau loves to watch all the singing competition reality shows and then discuss them the next day at work.

Oh hell yes.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5103/19/2013

Really? This thread died at 51 posts?

Perhaps the so called "anti frau" attitude isn't as prevalent as many claim here.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5203/29/2013

Pearl necklaces? To clutch?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5303/29/2013

This thread title reminds me of that old Doris Day song "A Guy is a Guy" only in my mind I substitute guy for frau.

"Well a frau is a frau wherever she may be"

"So listen and I'll tell you what this frau frau did to me"

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5403/30/2013

R8. I love that hob goblin in the background

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5503/30/2013

I was really worried after reading R11 (am I a ffffrau?). But then I read R12 and all was well in my world again, assured of my nonfrauitude.

R35, I'm really with you. It's true people go on too much about their kids, but I'm glad children are loved rather than not. It bodes well for future society. If you have to have an all-consuming focus, there are worse things than loving your kids. (No, I don't have any. Just sayin'.)

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5603/30/2013

Let me ask you this: are there any women you guys DO like?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5703/30/2013

Endearing fraus:

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5803/30/2013

R44

A frau thinks that Clay Aiken's sexuality is "no one's business" but will talk about Jennifer Aniston's dating and marriage habits like...well,

bitching and gossiping like a frau usually does.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 5903/31/2013

Given how many recipes show up on DL with dried onion soup and ketchup as primary ingredients, I would say that the line between gays and fraus is rapidly diminishing.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6103/31/2013

OP is a frau-like fag.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6203/31/2013

Too many fraus on DL.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6303/31/2013

Given that almost half of all DL posters are straight people, I would say it's unreasonable for R61 to attribute any specific comments made here to gays.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6403/31/2013

[quote]I've said it before and will say it again - I know many women who are awesome and have it together. Fraus? Aren't among them.

Oh totally!!! Just like I know many homos who are awesome and have it together. Faggots? Aren't among them.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6504/01/2013

R64 You're right but R65 is definitely a frau. (Btw, I know I'm a faggot, please go back to IMDB and similar and don't waste your time here.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6604/01/2013

OM fucking G!!!! R66 is so smart... she sure knows who's who on this board. No real homo would object to frau. C'mon it's not at all the same as f... well you know what! Any progressive knows THAT!

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6704/01/2013

[quote]Married, religious (which gives her a license to be bigoted), whole life is kids and her babyman of a hubby. Usually a few extra pounds. Not intellectually curious (the Bible can explain everything she needs to know). Reads romance novels.

I actually don't think intense religion is necessary. Sure, it takes it to a different level, but I've seen a lot of insufferable frau behavior from women who weren't that religious.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6804/01/2013

Take your meds, frau.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 6904/01/2013

I have a nosy neighbor in her seventies who fits the profile of a frau up and beyond. Her parents were from Germany and she married a German aspie straight off the boat. She is involved with her Catholic church and worships Mary. She even has one of those tacky virgin statues in her garden. Her weirdo (she refers to him as "shy")aspie husband has a gambling problem and frequents the local OTB upward to five times a day. She can't hold conversations with him so she gossips with and about her neighbors. She considers the gay brother in law of her daughter to be a diseased freak yet she has aspie grandchildren but no, they're not different, they're gifted!

Casseroles. Can't retire from her cubicle clerical job because of her husband's gambling problem. Thinks straight women who have gay male friends are secretly gay themselves. Both homely daughters are the breadwinners in the family. Resents attractive neighbors who are spoiled by their husbands. A big Clay Aiken fan and voted for him on American Idol and was devastated when he came out. Threw out his CDs. Shit, I need to make her our poster frau. She has a really German last name which makes it all so much sweeter. Oh and her aspie daughter is a closet case, we suspect.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7004/01/2013

Thanks I always do, ugly and obsessive frau.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7204/02/2013

What makes a frau a frau? The same thing that makes a cunt a cunt. Being a women. It's not hard to figure out OP.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7304/02/2013

If you have frauvergnügen, you are a frau.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7404/02/2013

So you're saying they need to have multiple personality disorder, R73?

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7504/02/2013

Why do most fraus sacrifice their femininity when they burst crotchfruit from their loins? It's as if their sexual power vanishes as the babies start rolling out. A lot of these fraus even start rebuffing their husbands' advances for sex because they're "too tired" from handling the children.

They do everything in their power to start the "desexification" process. They trade in their blowouts for mom hair cuts. They trade in their alluring dresses for mom jeans. They trade in their stilettos for comfortable walking sneakers. The scent of their favorite perfume is replaced with the scent of baby powder and formula.

These are the same women who are gobsmacked when their sex deprived husbands start looking outside of the marriage to get his rocks off.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7604/02/2013

Momma had a baby and its head popped off.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7704/02/2013

Entitled whiny faggot thread.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7804/02/2013

What a bore you are, frau.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 7904/03/2013

What makes a frau a frau?

This question is a dead giveaway that OP is an unattractive bottom.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 8004/03/2013

What becomes a frau the most?

Blackglama.

by I don't like casseroles, does that help?reply 8104/03/2013
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