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11 Things Waiters Do

That make mommies boil!

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 8203/17/2013

some gripes are legit but I dislike her attitude.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 103/15/2013

1 thing that mommies do, that makes waiters boil:

Bring their screaming babies to a fucking restaurant!

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 203/15/2013

I owned an antique store some years ago. When people brought children into my store I had a box of noisy toys to give to the kiddies to take home

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 303/15/2013

What waiter would ever do 9 or 10? Calling someone fat? Writing in their own tip? I was a waiter for years and would have never dreamed of doing either.

In terms of the "over eager" waiter, that's probably coming from management. I remember hating have to be "fake happy". But that's what my boss wanted, so I had to do it.

And, finally, the rushing someone through courses probably has more to do with someone ordering an appetizer then taking nine years to eat it, which screws up the timing for the main dish.

God, I hated being a waiter. This link brought me back to those horrible days.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 403/15/2013

What an unmitigated cunt Adriana Velez is. Keep your fucking tits in your bra, bitch.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 503/15/2013

Waiters work so hard that I'm willing to cut them a lot of slack and leave big tips - the only one from her list that really bothers me is a variation on #9. I hate it when a waiter brings you the bill at the same time that your food has just arrived - I've actually given the bill back before, and said, "We'll let you know when we're about done. Thanks."

Does #8 happen a lot? I've never seen that in a restaurant before. Also, I think we're really fortunate in America - I can count on one hand the number of waiters I've had who were ever willfully neglectful. The service in Francophone Canada is atrocious, though, and I can only imagine what it's like in Europe.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 603/15/2013

Here she is some more.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 703/15/2013

It mostly sounds like she's too cheap to actually go to a restaurant that would offer the standard of service she requires.

I mean, no decent restaurant has "1,000s of things on the menu."

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 803/15/2013

She must eat at Cheesecake Factory, R8.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 903/15/2013

A question for Dataloungers: Is it possible to post anything on a mommy blog that would NOT infuriate you?

I can't think of anything. Self-congratuatory parents irritate me.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1003/15/2013

I've always had excellent service at The Cheesecake Factory. And let's be honest, you go there because you know EXACTLY what you're going to order.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1103/15/2013

R6 -- I have the opposite frustration ... I would rather have the bill dropped off early than have to get the server's attention, they bring a bill, and scoot away, so that I have to get their attention AGAIN to get them to pick up the credit card and process it, when all I want to do is get out of there!

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1203/15/2013

Agree with R12.

Discreet breastfeeding does not bother me in the least. In my life, I've honestly never seen indiscreet breastfeeding. I don't know why she's on about that.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1303/15/2013

I agree with waiters not knowing the menu. All the waiters should be familiar with the selection and how the food tastes. They should have the wait staff personally taste the food on occasion so they can form their own opinions.

And women should have a right to breastfeed at the table. Get over it if it bothers you. You are not obligated to stare at someones breasts, and frankly, it's creepy if you do.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1403/15/2013

"What is the oxtail cooked with?"


by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1503/15/2013

I've been to CF once, R11. Got in a bitchfight with the waitress over how to pronounce "bruschetta" and never went back. What, do they they're in Tuscany with their splotched orange walls?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1603/15/2013

[quite]"We'll let you know when we're about done. Thanks."

Why say anything? Put it to the side, and whoops, forget It when you leave...

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1703/15/2013

R14, in many restaurants the servers are directed to only make the vaguest comments about the food. It is not lack of knowledge. Trust me, most servers know how the food tastes. Even a vegetarian, can tell you how the meat dishes taste. They have heard or seen the reactions. It is almost as if the restaurants are afraid of being sued if they say anything more definite than "spicy is a matter of taste".

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1803/15/2013

These cunts all deserve to STAY HOME and COOK for THEMSELVES!

then they won't be able to cunt about it on a fucking blog.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 1903/15/2013

It's one thing to know the menu and be able to describe the food. To say an item is spicy or savory or rich or whatever, against a sort of standard baseline is something waiter should know.

But I hated it when a guest would ask my subjective opinion on an item and then get mad at me when they didn't care for it as much as I did. You asked me what I thought was good and I told you, then you ordered it and didn't like it. That's fine, but don't blame me! It made me very hesitant to give my opinions on menu items (and people always asked). I guess this lady would have thought that I was a rude waiter.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2003/15/2013

I have never been to the Cheesecake Factory - is that a bad thing?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2103/15/2013

I agree with the one about over zealous waiters. What is that about? Don't they have other customers? Why keep coming over to our table every 10 mins to ask "is everything alright" over and over? Once, a few minutes each course is served, is plenty. More than that is an annoyance.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2203/16/2013

R12, the solution to that is just get up and walk towards the door. Stop at the hostess station and tell her you want to settle your check. It then becomes a matter of urgency.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2303/16/2013

R20, I just used to say something like, "It sells really well. We sell a lot of that." And I would definitely steer someone away from a poor dish and just say, "I haven't heard great things about it." I would frame things more as what the feedback from clientele had been rather than my own personal opinion.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2403/16/2013

A radio host complained that the server circled the tip line on the computerized check as a reminder to fill-in the blank.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2503/16/2013

Restaurants should have a button on the table to summon a server instead of them bothering or forgetting you.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2603/16/2013

[quote]Restaurants should have a button on the table to summon a server instead of them bothering or forgetting you.

When I was a kid there was a chain of restaurants (I've forgotten the name) where every table had a little lighthouse thing on the table with a flashlight bulb on top, and if you needed the waitress you pushed the button to light it. It worked very well.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2703/16/2013

There were a few times - maybe twice - when I was waiting tables and filled in a blank credit card slip with gratuity and totaled it. I think on both occasions it was a businessman's lunch where he didn't leave a tip and didn't total the slip. I'm sure I added 20%. People who don't tip disgust me.

Of course, nowadays I assume they go to the table with the credit card machine so you couldn't/wouldn't have to do that.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2803/16/2013

Some pregnant bitch just casually cut in front of me at the bakery. Moms are totally capable of being irrational cunts.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 2903/16/2013

[quote] What waiter would ever do 9 or 10? Calling someone fat? Writing in their own tip

I think she has heard of the restaurant policy where a restaurant adds an 18% gratuity on parties of more than a certain amount of people, but she doesn't understand it because she doesn't have that many friends who would go out to dinner with her. So she thinks that it's something that a waiter has done to one person.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3003/16/2013

Hello, red wine with fish? Ut si!

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3103/16/2013

Sorry, Lucifer, I always have red wine with whatever I'm eating. I detest white.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3203/16/2013

Ciaran, you're a trustafarian! How could you possibly drink red wine with fish or chicken?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3303/16/2013

Reds are fine with certain fish...the heavier, fatty fish are often paired with reds.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3403/16/2013

The mommyblog lady sounds as if she eats ONLY at restaurants where the servers are teenagers.

The part of one's brain that develops LAST (often up until the age of 21-22), is the part of the brain that controls organizing tasks. Having been a server at a diner in high school, let me tell you it was incredibly difficult. Years later at a much busier and high-pressured joint, I found it all much easier, because I could effectively prioritize tasks, which is a huge part of being a successful waiter.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3503/16/2013

And then, R26, some of these parents would let their offspring play with the button instead of banging their toy cars on the table.

You know it's true.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3603/16/2013

I hate it when a waiter crouches or sits down next to you in the booth to take your order. I know it's supposed to be more intimate and friendly and eliminate the supposed elitism of the waiter looking down on you, but I find it cheesy and insincere as all hell.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3703/16/2013

R37 - I can see your point on the crouching. Now I have a strange story to share ...

There's a joint in my neighborhood I'd go to for lunch on Saturdays sometimes, sitting at the bar as a single diner (no, it's not a dive at all). The bartender/waiter was someone I'd dealt with a few times before.

The day in question, there had been two guys sitting at the other end of the bar, but I hadn't given them that much notice. At one point the server tells us he said to the guy who stayed behind, after the other left: "You got shitty service today because your friend (consistently) leaves less than a standard 15% tip."

He was quite proud of himself for speaking up about it. I wasn't so impressed. You?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3803/16/2013

"And women should have a right to breastfeed at the table"

Why would anyone take a child that young to a nice restaurant? She needs a therapist- not a waiter.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 3903/16/2013

Something that my father always said that drove me nuts.

"Is that any good?"

Surprisingly, quite a few waiters would tell my dad, no it's not great, and steer him towards something they knew was good.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4003/16/2013

[quote]the supposed elitism of the waiter looking down on you

actually, elevated people sit, like the king, we, the commoners stand in their presence. that is why wait staff should stand.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4103/16/2013

r16, did she say bru-SHETTA?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4203/16/2013

Yes, the moron.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4303/16/2013

I had an uncle who would ask "what comes with it" after the server gave the specials.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4403/16/2013

Frau madness, of course. Most waiters don't do that.

She might have a point with #1, but then again, if you haven't ordered in a half an hour, it's time to shit or get off the pot.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4503/16/2013

[quote] Some pregnant bitch just casually cut in front of me at the bakery. Moms are totally capable of being irrational cunts.

I had a woman with a stroller come to my table once and said, "You're moving over there," pointing to another table. She expected me to get up and when I didn't, she said it again and added, "This works better for me. I need to sit my kid over there," with her finger in my face.

I looked at her and said, "You need to get your fucking finger out of my face, and learn some manners. It's beyond rude to ask someone to move, kid or no kid."

She was SHOCKED I would dare speak to her that way. She went to get the manager and he backed me up. She flounced out and swore she'd never be back.

Entitlement. And it was all HOW she asked - or rather, how she didn't. Had she done so politely, my friend and I would have gladly moved to another table.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4603/16/2013

Good for you, R46. Some people have no shame.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4703/16/2013

R46 = R47 = never happened

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4803/16/2013

R48 has no idea what that little 'troll-dar' section on each post does.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 4903/16/2013


R45 = R47, and his story sounds pretty fucking believable to me.

If you could have seen this Panera I used to go to, you'd know how rampant such behavior can be. Unfortunately -- or thankfully -- the Panera in question closed, most likely due to cuntescence.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5003/16/2013

I am R45 and R46. Not sure who was claiming who was posting what, but I admit that, without troll dar.

My original comment about the OP's post at R45 reminded me of the event I posted at R46.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5103/16/2013

[quote] did she say bru-SHETTA?

Almost as annoying as waitstaff who ask me if I'd like an EXPRESSO, instead of an espresso.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5203/16/2013

I never ask waiters what's tasty, I know some waiters are told to "push the chicken" or other dishes.

Taste is not only subjective, it's under pressure from market sources.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5303/16/2013

Anybody who huffs audibly about a waiter's mispronunciation of "bruschetta" deserves piss in his soup.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5403/16/2013

Some restaurants do want that friendly atmosphere with the waitstaff buddying with you. it is annoying. And I do agree about bringing the entrees when you've barely tasted your appetizer.

But some shouldn't be on the list because even if they did happen, they aren't really things waiters DO- it's what one waiter did.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5503/16/2013

So that's what you think, is it, R54, that this waitress should have gone in the bathroom and urinated on my food, and then served it to me?

If you work in a restaurant, I hope you get fired. No one I knew when I was a waiter ever even THOUGHT about things like this. You children are so hostile, so hateful. Talk about being urine-deserving.

I think I will knock down the next person I see who looks as if he was born in the '80s. Then I'll piss on him.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5603/16/2013

I'm 56.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5703/16/2013

No, I'm R56. You're R57 and R54.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5803/16/2013

There's an easy way to avoid getting every course at once: Order one course at a time.

It also helps to avoid overeating.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 5903/16/2013

Yes but I am also 56. 57 in October. I was responding to r56 who assumed I was a gayby.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6003/16/2013


I would go to your store, take your lame ass toys and donate them to the Salvation Army. Thus getting a tax write off, strengthing the moral value of the nation and destroying any attempt you had to put one over on me

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6103/16/2013

I don't think anyone was suggesting she should go to the *bathroom* in order to piss in your food, [R56]. Real waitresses piss right in the kitchen.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6203/16/2013

Except for that piss-oriented queen in R60 and R54, this is a millenials thing, waiters who piss in people's food.

I never even heard of it until about ten years ago, when I became friends with someone born in 1982, and I was a waiter once, and worked in food otherwise for a number of years.

It's good I'm nice to waiters, I suppose, in this day and age.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6303/16/2013

"this is a millenials thing"

Slander much, elderturd?

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6403/16/2013

R64 If you'll go back and read what I wrote, you'll see I found out about this from someone who was born in 1982, a millenial. He freaks out a little every time we eat out, worrying about how he treats the waiter so he won't spit/piss/shit in our food.

I literally never heard of such a thing until I knew this guy, and now it seems I read about it all the time.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6603/16/2013

All your aids and homo humor were super funny r65 but it's also not acceptable to be a fat fuck who breastfeeds at the table.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6703/16/2013

I'm convinced that pregnancy makes women loose any manners that they've been taught. Here is my favorite hotel review I found today. It is "No effort from the staff.". Apparently there is the expectation that a party would be thrown because she is pregnant.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6803/16/2013

I'm a millennial, R66, and I've never heard of such a thing. It could be an eldergrey kink, though, now that you mention it.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 6903/16/2013

I think it's a Chuck Palahniuk thing. The only time I've ever heard of pissing in the soup was in the Fight Club book.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7003/16/2013

I'm glad you never heard of such a thing, R69 R64. You have restored a tiny bit of faith to me.

I guess it's just fucktards like my friend and R60/R54. Who knows, maybe my friend (not a sex friend) is into piss, too.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7103/16/2013

What does this list have to do with being a "mommy" and what kinds of places is this woman eating at anyway?

Some of her points are valid but I've never has a server write anything other than Thank You on a check. Nor has anyone ever added a tip other than the standard 18% for large parties. If they did I'd ask to see a manager, not bitch on a mommy blog.

My partner and I vacation in a resort town that's mixed but has a large gay presence. One place we enjoy going is one that has a very polite but very non-family friendly policy. A couple walked in with a two tots in tow and told the host that they'd need booster seats and a kiddie menu. Host said they didn't offer either. After many attempts on the parent's part to negotiate (Well, can you at least make a hot dog? No sir. It's not on our menu)the exasperated parents said "well what are we supposed to do then?" The host graciously suggested some family friendly chains on the highway.

Having kids doesn't entitle anyone to a VIP pass everywhere and I have to question what the blogger did to provoke such an unusually hostile response on the side of servers.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7203/16/2013

I don't think these incidents happened to her personally. For some of them, at least, she's clearly referring to news items.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7303/16/2013

R37 Crouching Waiter Hidden Douchebag.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7403/16/2013

Webmaster, you need to permanently block the troll that constantly posts this viciously anti-gay, AIDS rants on here.



by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7503/16/2013

R65 needs to be booted and kept out of here. Trace other posts from this homophobe.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7603/16/2013

I agree

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7703/16/2013

I want to viciously slap that reviewer at R68!!

She actually bitched because no one congratulated her for being preggers or her "special occasion"!! Wow.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7803/16/2013

Yeah, Amber's review is ridiculous.

She apparently doesn't get that the world doesn't revolve around her, for one, and secondly, that most hospitality workers are trained to NEVER mention a woman's condition lest she NOT be pregnant and just fat.

What kind of pretentious twat goes on a "babymoon," anyway? An entitled one, that's who.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 7903/17/2013

[quote]I'm convinced that pregnancy makes women loose

Usually not until the 2nd or 3rd kid.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 8003/17/2013

I really am annoyed by waiters and random managers constantly asking if everything is all right. I'm trying to have a conversation; I'll let you know if I need anything.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 8103/17/2013

I was in a Manhattan diner this week. Had to climb over three strollers to get to my table. The mommies didn't have sense to fold them.

by Cater Waiter McFarlandreply 8203/17/2013
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