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When you're into a new relationship, do you ask how many guys he's slept with?

Getting involved with a guy and it's moved from dating to kinda sorta something. I really like him and he likes me and we're having a great time.

Last night, in small talk before we went to sleep, he asked me how many guys I've slept with. I joked it off and didn't answer because while I don't think the number is shocking I can't say it's under five, either.

I don't know why he asked and I don't know what to do if he asks again. And I don't know if I want to know how many he's done.

Also, at what number are you a whore? (Just in case my more than five is more trouble than I think. And the real number is 21. I am 33. I came out at 19.)

by Anonymousreply 3203/15/2013

Nope. Only if he's poz or has the herp.

by Anonymousreply 103/14/2013

You're a whore, OP.

by Anonymousreply 203/14/2013

Just 21? How quaint. You must have grown up in the Antarctic.

by Anonymousreply 303/14/2013

I didn't dare ask.

by Anonymousreply 403/14/2013

I don't think I'm a whore. 21 guys over 14 years is nothing compared to some of the stories I've heard. (I think!)

by Anonymousreply 503/14/2013

What a little judgemental pussy you are. Five? Twenty one? Please. You should go else where for praise, becaus that's clearly what you're looking for.

You're far, FAR to good for him. Or anyone for that matter. Stay home and jerk off. Porn should be your new boyfriend. It won't talk back or judge you.

But it does get old. Just like you and your attitude.

by Anonymousreply 603/14/2013

I would ask him why he wants to know. Not everybody feels completely comfortable with their entire sexual history and might not want to have to give a full accounting to it to somebody they're just starting to warm up to. It seems like the sort of thing it would be best to discuss either with someone you regarded as just a friend or acquaintance or with someone you'd been with for a while and really trusted.

by Anonymousreply 703/14/2013

I'm 20 and yes I would ask. I also want medical confirmation he's clean. I would never have casual sex and I woud never risk my life or health for sex.

by Anonymousreply 803/14/2013

Yea right, only 21? I'm sure it's more like 210

by Anonymousreply 903/14/2013

I never answer the "how many have you had" question, and I think less of men who do ask it.

by Anonymousreply 1003/14/2013

OP: there is no right or wrong answer here.

Having sex (or not having sex) is a very private decision that only you need to be comfortable with, no one else. Hopefully you'll find a partner who feels the same way.

And pay no attention to hysterial harpies like R6.

by Anonymousreply 1103/14/2013

Thanks, R11. It was an honest question.

by Anonymousreply 1203/14/2013

I never got how people can sleep with this many people. I've witnessed my roommate at it but I most likely will only be intercoursing one or two guys during my lifetime. I never found the idea of multiple partners appealing.

by Anonymousreply 1303/14/2013

Oh course, it's fun to compare notes. I find it weirdly insecure when guys DON'T discuss these things.

by Anonymousreply 1403/14/2013

You a whore darlin'

by Anonymousreply 1503/14/2013

W-A-Y past 100 and I never charged them.

Problem?

by Anonymousreply 1603/14/2013

I'd want to know too if someone I was maybe getting involved with had been fucked by a ton of other guys. It's a turnoff, I'd rather know sooner.

by Anonymousreply 1703/14/2013

Counting all the sex parties and college glory holes, I've had thousands. By the time I was 19 I was trying to set records. One day I managed 31 dicks in my mouth between 2pm and 9pm. Sex is hot. What's wrong with you people?

by Anonymousreply 1803/14/2013

I would say both of you volunteer the information rather than await a question.

My husband and I talked about it at length as we got to know each other. Not only did it make me understand his capacity for love, but it was also hot.

by Anonymousreply 1903/14/2013

I wouldnt care about him sucking lots of cock (altho glory holes are creepy & elderly, but good for him if he enjoyed them) but getting fucked by a lot of guys would gross me out. Yeah, I have a double standard, to be honest. I can't help it, it's just a turn off.

by Anonymousreply 2003/14/2013

I stopped counting 5-6 years ago, but I was at around 350-400 at the time (and have certainly increased that number since). I'm 34 now.

If some guy who I was dating were to ask me, I would honestly tell them "my number." I'm safe and get tested regularly. I'm whoring not it out in a dungeon getting bareback pig cocks every weekend. If that's your thing, that's fine. Everyone can do what they want; I'm not going to judge. For myself.

There's nothing wrong with having a rambunctious sexual appetite as long as you're safe and sane about it in your own head. If a guy rejected me for that reason, I'd know that we're not of the same mind anyway and are probably incompatible for the long run.

That all said, for the right guy--and there have been I-can-count-on-one-hand a few--I'd never sleep with anyone else again.

by Anonymousreply 2103/14/2013

Whoops. That should be:

*I'm not whoring it out

by Anonymousreply 2203/14/2013

"Last night, in small talk before we went to sleep, he asked me how many guys I've slept with."

The correct response to that is, "Oh I should never dream of burdening you with that kind of information."

by Anonymousreply 2303/14/2013

I once walked out on a first date because the guy asked me how many people I'd slept with. When I informed him that that wasn't really an appropriate question to ask someone you'd just met, he acted surprised and said that he asks everyone that question and that nobody else minds. I slipped out without saying a word when he got up to go to the bathroom a few minutes later. He was drunk as fuck and being a douche who couldn't keep his hands to himself all night but that question was the last straw. It was the only time I ever walked out on a date.

by Anonymousreply 2403/14/2013

Question for gay guys - would you date a guy with genital herpes? Would you be in a relationship with a guy with genital herpes?

by Anonymousreply 2503/14/2013

I don't like to ask that question but it comes up occasionally. If it's a high number, I won't dump the guy but I'll be very careful about how close I let him get to me at first.

I had a friend that found out from the friends of his boyfriend that his guy had slept with at least a hundred men. My friend didn't care as long as that was behind him. The guy cheated on him twice in five months. They were done shortly after.

For me that number can be a sign of instability. Not even mental instability (which is possible) but emotional instability. If you had a period in your past where you slept around a lot, that's fine, but it had better have been quite a while ago.

by Anonymousreply 2603/15/2013

R25, my ex had it. He was the absolute love of my life and him having herpes was no big deal. Luckily, I never got it.

by Anonymousreply 2703/15/2013

I told my ex I'd sucked about 50 dicks over a 20-year period (most were one-offs) and he was kind of appalled. He'd only been with about a half-dozen, and a couple of them had been relationships.

by Anonymousreply 2803/15/2013

"but I most likely will only be intercoursing one or two guys during my lifetime"

Somehow I believe you, mary.

by Anonymousreply 2903/15/2013

You spund like a bunch of teenage girls. That's a question females ask.

by Anonymousreply 3003/15/2013

Now that you mention it, my partner of 38 years and I never discussed it. Probably because we knew we were both your run of the mill 70's sluts.

by Anonymousreply 3103/15/2013

What r10 said.

by Anonymousreply 3203/15/2013
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