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I Give You Kisses Cuz You're My Missus!

My partner keeps saying this to our new cat. He'll just say it over and over.

He's masculine, 24, jock. But now that we have a kid he's been exhibiting a lot of flamboyance.

He'll raise his arm and SNAP when she walks in the room and say "Girl, you so fuzzy!"

Her name is "Marceline" but he calls her "Mama" and says things like "Mama! I love my monkey mama! Gimme dem kisses mama!"

Oh yeah, he calls her monkey a lot. I actually heard him say something like " Who's a funky chunky monkey sunky dunky?"

It's a major turn-off, but what can I realistically do about it???

I do like that he's so affectionate, I find that really cute, but I just can't help finding it a bit ...embarrassing. I wish I were somehow better than that, but I guess I'm not.

I can't possibly ask him to stop. He loves that cat, and that would just be cruel.

I don't really have many good options here, do I?

by Anonymousreply 11305/31/2013

[quote]He's masculine, 24, jock. But now that we have a kid he's been exhibiting a lot of flamboyance.

Two things: A cat is not a child; and your boyfriend is only masculine compared to Madame.

by Anonymousreply 103/12/2013

R1, oops! I didn't mean to type kid! I meant kitty.

by Anonymousreply 203/12/2013

Many people get kitties and puppies so that they can be totally comfortable acting really silly by talking "baby-talk." Their excuse is that the furry companion really responds to such endearments. In reality I think it relieves the human companion's stress, and brings him back to a fantasy simpler time where he/she was relieved of responsibility. OP, How wouldn't it be worse if your partner had a diaper fetish, and wanted you to be his adult daddy?

by Anonymousreply 303/12/2013

If you find it so embarrassing leave him. I'm sure he could do better.

by Anonymousreply 403/12/2013

OP? Your post, your life, your whole existence is painful. Please do us all a favor and disappear.

by Anonymousreply 503/12/2013

[quote]I don't really have many good options here, do I?

Getting a blog would be one.

by Anonymousreply 603/12/2013

Please, let the boyfriend get the cat in the inevitable break-up. And God forbid you ever have a kid, OP.

by Anonymousreply 703/12/2013

If he acts like that with a cat, he could potentially act like that with a baby. Be glad that your guy could actually be a father who is present physically and able to engage/ entertain the kid

by Anonymousreply 803/12/2013

"I give you throw-up cuz I want you to grow up."

by Anonymousreply 903/12/2013

If something doesn't sound right, it probably isn't true. OP's story is just a little too contrived.

R5 is on the right track.

by Anonymousreply 1003/12/2013


Flame boyance.

by Anonymousreply 1103/12/2013

This thread really makes me feel good about gay parenting.

by Anonymousreply 1203/12/2013

lol.. unless he's doing all those even in his sleep, your guy sounds adorable.

by Anonymousreply 1303/12/2013

Adventure Time fans?

by Anonymousreply 1403/12/2013

How affectionate is he with YOU, Op?

by Anonymousreply 1503/12/2013

Sounds so cute!

by Anonymousreply 1603/12/2013

You two are both flamers for naming your cat Marceline.


by Anonymousreply 1703/12/2013

[quote]Adventure Time fans?


by Anonymousreply 1803/12/2013

What kind of kitty?

by Anonymousreply 1903/12/2013


by Anonymousreply 2003/12/2013


by Anonymousreply 2103/12/2013


by Anonymousreply 2203/12/2013

Tuxedo cat? Why didn't you name her Gunter?

by Anonymousreply 2303/12/2013

She doesn't look like a Marceline, to be honest.

by Anonymousreply 2403/12/2013

Pweshus kitty! I can see why BF baby-talks to her.

by Anonymousreply 2503/12/2013

OP, you have a big black hairy pussy. Thanks for showing us your pussy pics.

by Anonymousreply 2603/12/2013

A nice little dish of ethylene glycol left next to the kitty litter box will solve all of your problems. Don't worry, you can thank me later.

by Anonymousreply 2703/12/2013

OP, Your kitty looks like a reincarnation of Honey Katt. She used to jump off my bed to greet my roomie at the door, for a special petting session.

by Anonymousreply 2803/12/2013

Oh, she looks like my old kitty that the ex got rid of. WIth her pink nose and I bet she has pink toes too! Aww, pink nose, pink toes kitty! She's so cute. Marceline does not fit her, like r24 said. You should call her Bean.

by Anonymousreply 2903/13/2013

Lord OP I recently got a tuxedo of my very own and I could give your BF a run for his money. Your precious is ADORABLE!

by Anonymousreply 3003/13/2013


The OP is trying much too hard to make one of his absurd threads 'happen'.

by Anonymousreply 3103/13/2013

When we brought home our rescue dog nearly 10 years ago, he promptly ate one of his turds. I've baby-talked to him that he's "eatin' dookie!" every day since. It's just how one talks to the animals.

by Anonymousreply 3203/13/2013

Pretty pink-nosed snookum!

by Anonymousreply 3303/13/2013

24 and partnered? Did you have a ceremony? Admit it: you met a month ago and moved in to save money. He might be your boyfriend but you don't sound like you know him well enough to claim to be partners.

by Anonymousreply 3403/13/2013

Awww, your kitty is so cute!

by Anonymousreply 3503/13/2013

OP, does the kitty respond differently to you than she does to your partner? Please be specific.

by Anonymousreply 3603/13/2013

Another two month "relationship" hits the skids because neither party can see further than the tip of his nose. Good job, kids.

by Anonymousreply 3703/13/2013

OP what is your partner like in bed?

top or bottom?

by Anonymousreply 3803/13/2013

Send the BF to me, you don't deserve him.

by Anonymousreply 3903/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 4003/13/2013

"He'll raise his arm and SNAP when she walks in the room and say "Girl, you so fuzzy!"

I have to say, I'm picturing this and I can not stop laughing.

by Anonymousreply 4103/13/2013

This thread is proof the DL is infested with lonely cat fraus and sad apartment dwelling queens.

by Anonymousreply 4203/13/2013

Pic of the BF or I call this a trollina thread.

by Anonymousreply 4303/13/2013

What R39 said.

R42 is Grumpy cat.

by Anonymousreply 4403/13/2013

I agree she doesn't look like a Marceline, but he liked it. I wanted to name her Roxy. She gets called Marcy by me.

by Anonymousreply 4503/13/2013


by Anonymousreply 4603/13/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 4703/13/2013

[quote]Pic of the BF or I call this a trollina thread.

You know I can't post his picture.

by Anonymousreply 4803/13/2013

Have you not been around animal owners before, OP?

Lots of them, to a greater or lesser degree, talk to pets in baby talk.

It could be worse. I was flipping channels and stopped on one of those fucking housewives shows. Lisa Vanderpump, who I rather like, was on. So her husband walks in with a little dog . She said, "Give me a kiss, you sexy thing!"--to her husband, I thought. She then proceeded to kiss the dog!!?? Only then, did she notice the husband and said, "Oh, hello, darling."

by Anonymousreply 4903/13/2013

I am curious, OP - does your partner not say similar "love babble" to you? Murmur sweet things and make up goofy nicknames, etc.?

by Anonymousreply 5003/13/2013

Who considers a cat the same as a "child"? Grow up.

by Anonymousreply 5103/13/2013

My cat's name IS Monkey. I demand royalties!

by Anonymousreply 5203/13/2013

OP, your BF called me this morning to say he hates the way you eat your Cheerios.

by Anonymousreply 5303/13/2013

[quote] Her name is "Marceline"


by Anonymousreply 5403/13/2013

Got a phone? YouTube him. Embarrassment is a marvelous behavior modifier.

by Anonymousreply 5503/13/2013

R47, I'm sitting here laughing my ass off - hysterical!

by Anonymousreply 5603/13/2013

R56, why?

by Anonymousreply 5703/13/2013

People tend to forget that cats are dignified animals. Just because they sometimes writhe around on their backs, chase their tails, burrow under quilts & romp in a dry bathtub, etc. doesn't mean that they're drooling idiots.

So, naturally, they HATE babytalk. Affection is fine, using nicknames is acceptable, worship is expected -- but don't address them in gibberish.

Speak to a cat as you would a distinguished professor emeritus -- polite smalltalk combined with stimulating conversation about current events & the arts (no sports).

Imagine that you are Clifton Webb & the cat is George Sanders.

by Anonymousreply 5803/13/2013

This thread had my coworker and I laughing to the point of TEARS on our train ride home. Thanks, OP!

Kisses 'cuz she's his missus?

Show him the door because he's a big queeny BORE!

by Anonymousreply 5903/13/2013

What a cute little kitty! I'd probably give it kisses and call it Missus, too.

Stop being shallow. Unless there's a real problem going on, or if you just don't like him, then learn a bit of selective deafness.

If you break up, give him the kitty. Whatever. Just make sure that poor cat doesn't pay for your silliness.

by Anonymousreply 6003/13/2013

[quote]Who considers a cat the same as a "child"? Grow up.

Exactly, cats are far superior.

by Anonymousreply 6103/13/2013

OP, when you're old, bald and fat you'll look back and wish your 24 year old treasure was still around talking baby talk to the kitty.

by Anonymousreply 6203/13/2013

I think what bothers OP is that his partner's image as masculine is "tainted" by his kitty talk.

OP, your partner actually sounds great. Shame on you.

by Anonymousreply 6303/13/2013

[all posts by ham-fisted troll a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 6403/13/2013

Hilarious Op!

by Anonymousreply 6503/14/2013

[quote] had my coworker and I laughing

Your post had me laughing.

OP, start calling the cat Momma's Mussy.

Start calling you husbear Momma.

by Anonymousreply 6603/14/2013

[quote] BWS (butch while single) syndrom is very real. You need to test out a partner's masculinity before committing.

That's funny. Thank you for the laugh.

by Anonymousreply 6703/14/2013

This thread is making me horny as hell!

by Anonymousreply 6803/14/2013

Has anyone ever thrown a cat into a wood chipper?

by Anonymousreply 6903/14/2013

OP if you and your boyfriend are fans of Adventure Time, I think you both are great. Just bring it up to him, nothing wrong with being blunt.

by Anonymousreply 7003/14/2013

I have brother and sister smokies (blue-gray shorthairs) and when one of 'em does something stupid, like tearing around the house after their supper, I chant:

"Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh!

"Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh!

"Goofball kitty kitty -- unh! unh!"

I am sure I must sound insane when I do this.

But they seem to love it and run around even faster.

by Anonymousreply 7103/14/2013

r71 Pics of the cuties or it didn't happen..

by Anonymousreply 7203/14/2013

How do I do it? Never done it before.

I guess I could catch them tomorrow morning after their breakfast.

They like spend the rest of the morning racked out on my bed.

by Anonymousreply 7303/14/2013

I don't know r73 but I can't wait to see them..I would talk to them like that too. They sound like dollies and bubbles ( I call my pets bubble and bubblehead, don't know why)

by Anonymousreply 7403/14/2013

Kids are for people who can't have cats.

by Anonymousreply 7503/14/2013

My bf does the same, OP. Has absolutely no boundaries when it comes to the cats (scarlet and quizix) and caws and coos at them loud enough for the neighbors to hear. After ten years I still find it mildly irritating at times but not enough to make an issue of it, and those little bitches run our house. If he's a good guy and you're happy with him, then allow him his idiosyncrasies.

by Anonymousreply 7603/14/2013

[quote]When we brought home our rescue dog nearly 10 years ago, he promptly ate one of his turds. I've baby-talked to him that he's "eatin' dookie!" every day since.

Your dog eats his dookie every single day?

Have you considered, y'know, trying to STOP him from eating it?

by Anonymousreply 7703/15/2013

J'adore R58!

by Anonymousreply 7803/15/2013

r58, I agree with you up to a point, but if George Sanders rubbed his cheeks repeatedly up against Clifton Webb when he wanted dinner, cntentedly licked his own ass in full view of him and whoever else happened to be in the room whenever he felt like it, and slept snuggled up against him every night, I'm sure he'd have a somewhat more familiar tone with him.

by Anonymousreply 7903/15/2013

No, R77, it just happened that one day, but I've reminded him of it in my baby-pet-talk every day. It's just something I say.

by Anonymousreply 8003/15/2013

R76, good advice. Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 8103/15/2013

Widdle pink bunny nose boo-boo kitty!

by Anonymousreply 8203/15/2013

Men who behave in such a manner are no men at all.

Also, ANYBODY who treats cats in this manner are just loathsome and embarrassing to the human race at large. Grow the fuck up, you imbeciles.

by Anonymousreply 8303/15/2013

Who pissed in R83's corn flakes this morning?

by Anonymousreply 8403/15/2013

OP and I would not be compatible. I used to do to my cat Missy all that he claims his boyfriend does, but also I would lick her head to feel closer to her in a feline non human way.

by Anonymousreply 8503/15/2013

[quote] He's masculine, 24, jock

Cheerleading doesn't count, hon.

by Anonymousreply 8603/15/2013

R79, who's to say that Messrs Sanders & Webb didn't do all those things together? Still no excuse for babytalk.

by Anonymousreply 8703/15/2013

Did you know Carmelita Pope? Wonderful gal.

by Anonymousreply 8803/15/2013

Wrong thread, dammit.

by Anonymousreply 8903/15/2013

If I were the OP I would try giving my boyfriend a little extra silly lover's talk and gratuitous making out. Maybe he's just starved for affection.

by Anonymousreply 9003/15/2013

More cat pictures please. The smoky brother and sister aren't going to post pic of themselves..

by Anonymousreply 9103/19/2013

Looooove this thread. OP's bf sounds adorable! And I have totally co-opted the SNAP and "girl, you so fuzzy!" for when my kitty enters the room, lol.

Clearly, OP's problem is that his bf is suddenly much less straight-acting than he used to be, and OP is disgusted by that.

OP, your bf is a flamer, and there's nothing wrong with that!

by Anonymousreply 9203/21/2013

R92, cute!

by Anonymousreply 9303/22/2013

The cat's dad. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 9404/01/2013

The cat's dad what, R94? English not the first language of pricks?

by Anonymousreply 9504/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 9604/01/2013

What hapened to the fuzzy girl?

by Anonymousreply 9704/01/2013

Jesus OP, what did you do?

by Anonymousreply 9804/01/2013

Man, I read all the way to the end of this thread so I could post about how beautiful the tux is and say that I have one (a boy) who looks JUST THE SAME and is the most awesome cat I've ever lived with... and now your cat is DEAD?! What!

Wait a minute, was today April Fo---- oh, fuck it.

Anyway, your boyfriend sounds like an adorable stud, if you ever break up with him over the cat, can I have his number?

Hope the kitty's doing okay.

by Anonymousreply 9904/01/2013

R96 is not the OP.

by Anonymousreply 10004/01/2013

Thank heavens. OP come back! Tell us more funny cat talk! This thread amuses me.

by Anonymousreply 10104/02/2013

Most catchy thread title evah!

by Anonymousreply 10204/02/2013

Two cats playing patty-cake...

by Anonymousreply 10304/02/2013

r96, unlike you, I love and am loved.

by Anonymousreply 10404/02/2013

More Marceline pics and other kitties too, please.

by Anonymousreply 10504/02/2013

OP here!

Marci is alive and well. She's still super fuzzy and gest lots of kisses. He's got me in on it now, too. I'm sure if our neighbors heard us they'd think we're insane.

New pic, evil as ever:

by Anonymousreply 10604/02/2013

Aww, with that pink nose, who can resist? Does she have pink and black toes too? I am glad you went over to the dark side. Who cares what your neighbors think? Maybe they should get a cutie cat.

by Anonymousreply 10704/02/2013

Adorable tuxedo cat. Lucky you.

by Anonymousreply 10804/02/2013

Oooh I just wuv my widdle pinky nosey toesy hunny bunny tuxedo- butt baby boy...YES I Doooo!

Repeat. Endlessly. It's better than Effexor, trust.

by Anonymousreply 10904/02/2013

OP, I must see pics of the pink toes and I am not the feets troll. I love tuxy feet.

by Anonymousreply 11004/02/2013

Masculine guys that can act goofy and are affectionate and loving with animals are my Kryptonite.

Glad you joined the party. You've got a great guy and an adorable puss. Count your lucky stars.

by Anonymousreply 11104/02/2013


by Anonymousreply 11205/31/2013

Put it in the microwave

by Anonymousreply 11305/31/2013
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