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How has your looks impacted your life?

I "think", I put think in quotation marks because I'm sure it wasn't the only reason, my homeliness is one of the reasons why my childhood/teenagehood was so miserable. So ya I had a pretty sad childhood/teenagehood because of it.

by Anonymousreply 1903/09/2013

They certainly seem to have affected your grammar perniciously, OP.

by Anonymousreply 103/08/2013

"has your looks"?

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 203/08/2013

R3 = Dawn Wiener

by Anonymousreply 403/08/2013

R3, please. There are PLENTY of homely children.

by Anonymousreply 503/08/2013

ALways a nice ordinary looking kid like a Brady kid.

Grew up to be good looking enough to get into clubs and get jobs strictly on my good looks.

I didn't know i was hired for my looks until a new co-worker angrily told me that I was hired because I "looked good in a suit".

Nice huh? He was an asshole.

So I guess to answer the question my looks had a great impact. People respond more positively to an attractive person.

All that said my life is normal. I am over 50 now but time has a way of sorting things out.

The younger ones come up and knock you off the plateau.

by Anonymousreply 603/08/2013

I agree that almost all prepubescent children are cute (although sadly, even some kids that young don't see themselves that way for various reasons). It's when they reach puberty and the teenage years that many of them start to go through an "awkward" stage, although that's something most of them grow out of by adulthood. Once you're past that sad little awkward stage that involves fun stuff like braces and uncontrollable acne and all sorts of weird hormonal changes, I think most adults have it within their power to make themselves fairly attractive if they choose to. You have to work at it - if you're overweight/don't put yourself together well/etc., then you're not going to be considered attractive, but it's really rare that I see a grown adult and think "Wow, that person is just straight up UGLY through no fault of their own and there's nothing short of plastic surgery that they can do about it." Most unattractive adults I see have things holding them back that are fixable through their own willpower.

I'm one of those who went through a definite ugly stage between around the ages of 11-15, but I grew into myself and as an adult learned how to put myself together in a way that maximizes what I have. I'm no perfect ten, but I'm what most people would consider attractive. I do sort of envy those who never go through an awkward ugly stage though. I think being called ugly when I was still a kid probably did have some long lasting effects on my self-confidence - perhaps slightly pathetic, but true.

by Anonymousreply 703/08/2013

A great deal. I've had very awkward stages and quite prepossessing ones, and a prime relatively late in life when I was very much admired. I've had out of shape years and very fit ones (and not in the order one would assume). I've had years when I was clueless how to dress and groom and years when I knew exactly what to do. And, because I didn't have the presence of mind to put it all in proper perspective, the highs went to my manic head and the lows sometimes filled me with needy despair.

If I had to do it all over.... well that's a fool's question.

Ok, I'll save you the trouble: "Mary!"

by Anonymousreply 803/08/2013

All the people I knew in school - whether it was highs school, college or grad school- the ones who studied and worked hardest went on and did well. It didn't matter what they looked like.

by Anonymousreply 903/08/2013

Are you sure it wasn't your faggyness?

by Anonymousreply 1003/08/2013

I'd slightly qualify what r9 said, but mostly agree. I also don't believe that a person's looks have much to do with how happy or satisfied they are. I've known some stunning people who were miserable shits.

by Anonymousreply 1103/08/2013

I'd always thought I was ugly into my twenties, but since turning 30 I have come to really like my features and can now see the good looks that others saw. I have a boyish face so I look younger than 33. Nothing dramatic like 10 years younger, but at least around age 27/28. (That's what people guess when they ask my age.) I've also noticed I have symmetrical features and big brown eyes. Not bug-eyed like Bette Davis, but bright and expressive. And I have thick straight hair that flips up when it gets to a certain length. I've especially come to appreciate my hair more since a lot of guys my age or younger have lost theirs or have receding hairlines and are balding. I think that's partly why I look younger. I'm sure if I had a horseshoe on my head, I'd look 38 or older instead.

Anyway, my only regret is that I wish I'd noticed my physical attributes sooner.

by Anonymousreply 1203/08/2013

[quote]All the people I knew in school - whether it was highs school, college or grad school- the ones who studied and worked hardest went on and did well. It didn't matter what they looked like.

It also didn't matter what they studied.

It only mattered THAT they studied.

Those people had the self-discipline to get shit done. Life rewards those people.

by Anonymousreply 1303/08/2013

I've always thought people look pretty unattractive until you get to know them. Then they can look absolutely ugly or quite attractive with every possible gradation in between. I've never picked up the ability to see beauty in the face of any man without know him personally. Strangers are pretty much faceless to me. I can ride the elevator at work with the same people for years on end and if I never got to know them, I wouldn't recognize one of them the next day.

Being focused on your own opinion of your attractiveness is very likely the cause of your low opinion of your yourself. You've got to admit, this is a very shallow concern on your part. Handsome or not handsome, I think I would find OP ugly too.

by Anonymousreply 1403/08/2013

Even though no one ever called me ugly, it took me until I was in my 30s to accept that I'm actually sort of handsome. I think it stemmed from having a dad and two older brothers who were very manly and handsome, and I was sometimes confused for being a girl in my early teens (chubby, longish hair, no facial hair, etc).

by Anonymousreply 1503/08/2013

I'm very good looking. I didn't know this until I was 17. Before that I thought I was ugly. And then my life consisted of politely turning down propositions received from everyone from the Fed Ex driver at work to coworkers to coworkers' husbands (very odd) to my doctor and lawyer to people in shops and groceries. In the meantime I became involved with someone I really liked - not a looker himself, in his own opinion, but looks never meant much to me. And we built a life together as the hit-ons continued. We'd meet people at parties and they would ask me to ditch my partner. Or go on a date. They'd get my phone number and start calling. My partner never acted like he care about my looks much, and that it was "me" he loved, and he'd just laugh and suggest I meet the guys if I wanted.

Reading this I see it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I've just never vocalized it before. And I also know that my "luck" in career and employment - it's always gone very well and I moved up quickly anywhere I was, until we started our own companies - that my luck probably just came from how I look.

Being middle-aged has changed it somewhat, but now it's younger guys rather than peers I hear from.

by Anonymousreply 1603/08/2013

I've never been attractive. Fortunately, it hasn't held me back in my career, but it's definitely left me loveless for most of my life. I was involved with one man for a few years who was ok with how I looked, but I don't have much hope to meet someone like that again.

by Anonymousreply 1703/08/2013

R17 do you really think it was your looks that left you loveless? You were a rich or accomplished man, wouldn't guys gravitate towards you?

by Anonymousreply 1803/09/2013

I don't think I look like a good guy. It seems a lot of people agree with me.

by Anonymousreply 1903/09/2013
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