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Please describe your neighbors

Inspired by the My Neighbor Is a Gargoyle thread. My upstairs neighbors are a quiet older couple with a grown son who visits every now and again. On one side of me, next door, is a gay man and his boyfriend -- he's always doing "improvements" on his house with workmen in and out. He's in our city symphony and always practices with all the windows open. It's a bit annoying. On the other side is an alcoholic man and his obese girlfriend. They're frequently feuding. Across the street is a man who's lived in the area since the dawn of time and is always telling cars to slow down. He stands outside smoking a pipe and chatting with passersby. I guess he's retired.

by Anonymousreply 6403/07/2013

Lawsuit millionaire and designer with elderly wife. The lawsuit winner is mean and republican, the designer and his wife are very nice. He also has a nice body of work.

by Anonymousreply 103/03/2013

My upstairs neighbors are a young Korean couple. They moved in right after they got married and, 11 mos later, she spawned. Once the kid was able to walk..i mean, run.... he started running every morning at 6am IN HIS SHOES and was still running back and forth at 9pm. A certain percentage of their floors need to be covered. They aren't. I told the Managing Agent. Nothing. I told the Board of Directors. Nothing. Super can't be bothered. I called the cops. Nothing. I bang on the wall. They bang back. I asked them politely to be considerate. They slammed the door in my face. I've heard the kid fall and cry and the parents scream at him. As much as I loathe him, I fear he's going to hurt himself. Now they have another kid. I'm doomed.

by Anonymousreply 203/03/2013

Downstairs is a quiet older woman who is a quiet alcoholic. Above me is a skank guy who smokes weed all day and screams, coughs up and spits green phlegm over the balcony, chats (shouts) about his gang life and who he has fucked up. Next door are three middle class women who are a little prissy and aloof, but that's not a bad thing.

by Anonymousreply 303/03/2013

I miss the My Neighbor is a Gargoyle thread! Disgruntled police-officer's ex-wife cunt on one side. Other side: full on will smack a bitch up single mom with kids (who is fabulous). Behind me: overly frightened elderly woman who is frightened by raccoons and sees people who don't exist in the bushes.

by Anonymousreply 403/03/2013

R4, what frightens her about raccoons? They can be menacing to pets but, if that's not an issue, most people think they're cute (which they are).

by Anonymousreply 503/03/2013

Obsessed with drawing his curtains at night just prior to undressing.

by Anonymousreply 603/03/2013

This thread reminds me of that Tom Waits song, "What's He Building in There?". A creepy song about a creepy neighbour.

by Anonymousreply 703/03/2013

This thread reminds me of that Tom Waits song, "What's He Building in There?". A creepy song about a creepy neighbour.

by Anonymousreply 803/03/2013

We heard you the first time, R7/8

by Anonymousreply 903/03/2013

My neighbors are a harmless, elderly couple ... a tad on the eccentric side but harmless, really.

by Anonymousreply 1003/03/2013

Fat cunt

by Anonymousreply 1103/03/2013

I bizarre couple where the man stays home all day. I've caught him peeping through the fence looking at me in the yard, so I gave him a show once.

I heard him moaning and jacking off while did the same.

by Anonymousreply 1203/03/2013

Left - old victorian turned into 6 apartments - mostly young people, dorm mentality, loud, but nice - on the right a b and b - people sit on their balconies and comment on what I am grilling or yard work I am doing - ask for restaurant recommendations and how to get downtown, but are generally nice and the owners are really great people. Across the street are elderly neighbors we kind of keep an eye on, they are very sweet. We live in a resort community on a street with massive old victorians - only 3 on our street (ours and two elderly couples) are still single family homes (ours has 7 bedrooms) -

by Anonymousreply 1303/03/2013

Old fashioned eye-talian couple, Frenchie and Estelle, got two kids who come and go, but are mainly away. very friendly, they take my mail. the other side is a new fancy condo and they are "the gaybors" - both are new and fairly distant and chilly, have designer planters and fancy cars. I haven't really cottoned to them yet

by Anonymousreply 1403/03/2013

nice r13 until u HAD to state that you have a Victorian that is still a single family house. I was going to give u a 9/10 but with that last sentence it is now 1/10

by Anonymousreply 1503/03/2013

R5, I think she's just gotten to that age that she is frightened of everything. She sits in her backroom all hours of the night (it faces my yard) and watches/complains about everything: racoons, possums, deer(I live near woods), birds, firepit being lit, etc...

She's been in the neighborhood forever so I am good with being patient about her "ownership" issues - but it is irritating. I guess she has nothing else to talk about.

by Anonymousreply 1603/03/2013

I've only met the straight couple next door. I spoke to the husband and wife at different times. At the end of my conversation with the husband I got that knowing, we-should-have-sex look from him. It's subtle, not overt.

You non-ugly gays knows what I'm talking about.

by Anonymousreply 1703/03/2013

On my right side, there is a couple with one kid. They bought the lot two years ago, torn down the old house and build a new one. The guy is from Africa, super nice with a bright smile. His wife is white and chubby. She never waved nor said hello. She is kind of uptight.

On the other side, a nurse from a local hospital lives with her white boyfriend. The guy grills everyday, has a somewhat fat-fit body with trashy tattoos. They share one car. The boyfriend sometimes rides a moped.

Across the street is a tiny church for some very old white people. On any given Sunday, the tiny parking lot has no more than 15 cars, all expensive. Almost every church attendant uses a cane or walker.

by Anonymousreply 1803/03/2013

the area is crawling with male whores!

by Anonymousreply 1903/03/2013

I am ugly but still get that look.

by Anonymousreply 2003/03/2013

R9, I didn't double-post on purpose.

by Anonymousreply 2103/03/2013

Above me is a quiet, single woman in her early 60s with a yapping dog and a bleak social life. Real estate agent. Reasonably pleasant. Occasionally comes downstairs to ask me odd questions about life.

Below me is a quite, single Italian woman in her early 60s with a gay cat (he once tried to fuck my male cat) who has a bit of a drinking problem. Freelance stylist. Also very pleasant.

Next door was a well-known writer who moved out once his books started to sell. Now it's a young and very beautiful Argentinian woman with enormously wealthy parents who's abusive to the doormen and ignores everyone else.

by Anonymousreply 2203/03/2013

[quote]Fuck you muchly.

He was only kidding. Get a yourself a sense of humor, you twit.

by Anonymousreply 2303/03/2013

A married couple shares the house I live in. They have the main part of the house (3 bedrooms) and I occupy the granny unit (garage conversion to studio). We live on 5 acres in wine country.

The husband is an ex-hippy from the Bay area and the wife is a few years younger. They're both really nice and great neighbors. I couldn't have asked for better neighbors. They've become the closest thing to family I have and have opened up their home to me on numerous occasions.

by Anonymousreply 2403/03/2013

Elderly but still somewhat attractive woman with a busy social life. Has gay male friends, family, and a hunky Salvadoran handyman cycling in and out; throws parties every Christmas and Easter and invites me. She can be a bit shirty but I like her.

Ex-priest now married to a hot Marisa Tomei-type wife. They had kids later in life and are struggling a bit dealing with toddlers, but they are easygoing, friendly and funny. They are moving and I will miss them.

by Anonymousreply 2503/03/2013

A late middle aged jazz musician and his wife, who designs hairstyles in for film and television. They're lovely. The other side is empty. Across the street a queen I call 35... he's loaded and rather portly, but has an endless stream of young A gays in and out of his house each year during Pride. So I call him 35 because he doesn't speak to anybody with an age or waistline over it.

by Anonymousreply 2603/03/2013

"So I call him 35 because he doesn't speak to anybody with an age or waistline over it."

That's brilliant.

by Anonymousreply 2703/03/2013

My most interesting neighbor is a woman in her 80s who was part of the Metropolitan Opera in her youth. She still sings and plays the piano. Good for her.

by Anonymousreply 2803/03/2013

I live in a repurpoused building, an old law firm with three divisions. To my left, a trust fund fuck up and his bipolar girlfriend (both are always wanting to see who comes to my place to visit or have dinner). To my right reside a retail manager and his girlfriend (not very sociable).

All in all, it's a good fit, believe it or not.

by Anonymousreply 2903/03/2013

That is funny, R26.

Next door on the left is a 50 something short, broad woman, not fat, just big-boned. She definitely isn't a petite, instead her arms and legs are short and stumpy and she has a broad back and a flat chest. She has short dyed red hair and looks like a cross between Bonnie Franklin(RIP) and Patty Duke. She is a fake and gossips about me.

On the right is a woman in her early 60's and somewhat brittle and prissy. Otherwise she is pretty nice, EXCEPT when she joins in to gossip with my other neighbor.

by Anonymousreply 3003/03/2013

I've not met my neighbors on the north side of my. They moved in at Christmas and their car is covered in Jesus bumper stickers so I really don't want to meet them.

Across the street is empty. The dyke across the street died of cancer this summer and the place hasn't sold.

Behind me is an alley and I haven't ever met the people in the house on the other side of the alley.

To my south is a fussy queen who I call Gladys Kravitz. He's the neighborhood busy body and he really gets on my nerve because he tries to pry into my business and I have no interest in talking to him. I've caught him peering through the fence between our yards--if he hears anything he's out investigating.

by Anonymousreply 3103/03/2013

I have five neighbors that surround my property. A week ago I pulled into the driveway and was greeter with three cop cars and a coroner van next door.

It appears that my surly neighbor decided it was time to go and her ticket of choice was a shotgun.

Hope the next owner is nicer. The other four are great.

by Anonymousreply 3203/03/2013

Since you asked. 70's style complex in LA. My new downstairs neighbors are a handful of loud, youngish guys (still not sure who exactly lives there) who party and do drugs. Last night I was trying to figure out what smell was coming from their apartment (meth? crack?) - a lot of pot anyway. They are unfriendly, trashy, and some of us think they were responsible for a theft in the building. I jokingly say I am living above Jesse from Breaking Bad. I've become great friends with the neighbor on my left, a 30 year old actress turned retail manager. On the other side of me, is a single woman with a cat, who is also nice enough. I think that a whole band moved in to the far back unit - they are cute hipsters with tons of music equipment. Hopefully they won't "practice" in the apartment. It's a pretty transient place, people stay a few years at most and then move on. It's served its purpose for me but I am very happy to be leaving!

by Anonymousreply 3303/03/2013

Ah, the hippo upstairs! Like a ballerina in a Disney cartoon, she dances across the floor over my bed late into the night. I lie in bed awake, imagining her in her tutu, over-sized nostrils flaring as she throws her considerable bulk around the room to bad pop music.

Some nights, she is visited by her rhino consort, and I am sung to sleep by the rhythmic squeaking of her bed. They grunt and squeal like pigs at a trough until the rhino is done, at which point he immediately rolls off the bed and gets in the shower.

This unfortunately usually results in Ms. Hippo yelling and crying when he won't return to bed and when he leaves right after his shower. She often sobs uncontrollably for an hour or so afterward... just saying one word over and over... "Why? Why???"

The twenty something girl who lived upstairs before Ms. Hippo also sobbed at night, but she was a mouse like little thing. No hoofing around at night from her. No Mr. Rhino either. Maybe that's why she killed herself, and now Ms. Hippo is here.

by Anonymousreply 3403/03/2013

foreclosed and gone

by Anonymousreply 3503/03/2013

I'm on the top floor of my apartment building. My downstairs neighbor is an angry guy who is subletting illegally, always to musicians. He fancies himself one as well, but his guitar, piano playing and singing are way below any professional level. He must be slipping the super yearly bribes because the landlord would have him evicted in a second if he knew. I much prefer the subletters to this guy, as they actually have talent and are on the quiet side. When angry guy moves back in between subletters, he's noisy and his every move can be heard. I don't report him as I can deal with it and am afraid of who else might move in, who might be even more annoying, though the guy is a real jerk to everyone and we'd all love to see him go.

On one side is a nice quiet older couple. The husband has a vacuuming fetish.

On the other side is a young man I don't know well, who isn't there much.

by Anonymousreply 3603/03/2013

Weird hipsters. Weird because when they play music, it's just the same song. Over and over. I've never heard them listen to anything else in three years.

by Anonymousreply 3703/03/2013

My next door neighbor is this pushy, douchebag realtor with a fat kid, self-medicating wife and nosey mother-in-law. When he first moved in, I introduced myself and the first thing out of his mouth was to to tell me that we need to replace the fence we share.....not because it was in disrepair but because it clashed with the new shingle siding on the mother-in-law's granny cottage. Seriously. He's a full-time player on the "God Squad" and is fond of peppering his sentences with some variation of the word "blessed" (I'm so blessed, it's such a blessing, etc).

He and his shell-shocked wife drive matching copper colored Range Rovers (think cookware on wheels) that miraculously match mom-in-law's shingle siding AND fluoresce in the dark. No cheap trick.

He shares his first name with his fat little kid (natch) and they're both quick to remind people that their name is Guillermo NOT William. I call them both Billy-not-Willy just for kicks.

He's some kind of latino, short of stature, follicly challenged and seems proud of his macho-approach-to-life attitude whereby this is "his" world and everybody else is just in the way.

We hates him.

by Anonymousreply 3803/04/2013

R15 I don't know what your static is about - I thought it was relevant that most of the houses on the street are now apartments or b and b's - there are only 3 that are still single family houses and ours is one of them - so most of the neighbors are transient and I talked about the only people who weren't - the owners of the b and b, the landlords of the apartment building next to us and the two elderly couples across the street (the two elderly couples and us being the only single family homes) ??

by Anonymousreply 3903/04/2013

On the left, there's a two-family house. Young woman upstairs constantly reminds everyone she's working on a PHD in something. She giggles a lot and spends 99% of her time with a tall, skinny, effeminate hipster with a patchy ginger beard. He plays the guitar very badly at night. Downstairs, two brothers in their early-20s. They've got good union jobs thanks to Daddy, but are the two stupidest human beings I've met. They're sloppy, loud drunks. I had to call animal control when they left their under-nourished dog out in the backyard in freezing weather because they were both too hungover to remember they'd put her out six hours ago.

There's an apartment building to my right, but I've never really gotten to know anyone there except by sight.

by Anonymousreply 4003/04/2013

I live in Manhattan. I have no idea who my neighbors are.

by Anonymousreply 4103/04/2013

R22, who is the writer?

R37, so what's the song they play on repeat?

by Anonymousreply 4203/04/2013

Lovely retirees who are very kind to me. Tea Party people. They know I'm gay. They never mention it. Just like my relatives who I no longer see. I told them I hated politics and had no interest in it. A lie. I am very active in the State Dem organiztion and sometimes write issue papers for Dem candidates. My neighbors and I just smile, wave and talk abut gardening.

by Anonymousreply 4303/04/2013

On the right, Baptist Republicans. I have a tattoo on my wrist, I'm a pro-choice Democrat and I'm unmarried with no children. Therefore, I am as if from another planet and I need Jesus. The wife is dumb as a brick. We are very civil to each other, because it would be a disaster if we weren't.

To the left, really nice woman, her boyfriend and her two kids. Really nice couple. They're kind of shy like me, so we have an affinity.

Couple across the street are bit older and strange. I can handle strange, but they're not the interesting kind. They get on my nerves.

by Anonymousreply 4403/04/2013

[quote]Below me is a quite, single Italian woman in her early 60s with a gay cat (he once tried to fuck my male cat) who has a bit of a drinking problem. [/quote]

A gay cat with a drinking problem. That is so sad.

by Anonymousreply 4503/04/2013

I live in Hells Kitchen Manhattan and know my neighbors. There are kids of the old-school tenants in my building who I first met when they were toddlers. They are now teenagers -- it's been fun to watch them grow up.

by Anonymousreply 4603/04/2013

The girl living behind me used to be the dog catcher. She is mad gone on meth. When she was the dog catcher I actually knew her. I lived elsewhere for a few years and when I returned to my home she was living behind me. For a number of years I had no idea who she was. Toothless, haggard old woman. I was shocked when during the only conversation we had when she said, you know me, I'm Leslie. She fucks old black guys frequently. At one time a meth head girl was living in a tent in her back yard. She was fucking guys in her tent every night which was interesting at least. One time her homeless friends were also living in the yard. Stood on my porch one day and watched them fuck in the yard. For the most part she is the perfect neighbor. Never bothers me. I don't exist. She does not give a shit what I do and I consider her harmless.

by Anonymousreply 4703/04/2013

Professor below me and his sour-faced wife. Turns out, a (male) student sued him for sexual harrassment and firing him from being his assistant.

by Anonymousreply 4803/04/2013

We live in a small building in Brooklyn (not a "cool" neighborhood, but we like it), only seven apartments (three floors, two per floor, plus a large [illegal] apartment in the basement). We have the front apartment on the second floor. Across the hall from us is a Chinese couple with two kids, who are actually fairly well behaved. We only share one wall (the bathroom wall), and that's the only time I can occasionally hear the baby crying, very faintly, other than that they're pretty quiet.

On the first floor is a young black woman, early 30's, who lives alone, she works part time and is working on her PHD. The other tenant on the first floor is a crochety older white man and his wife. They bitch about absolutely everything. He smokes (outside only since his wife is oxygen) and when it's cold out he'll smoke in the tiny vestibule where the mailboxes/intercoms are, between the front door and the door to get into the rest of the building. VERY annoying. He also likes to rope you into conversations, which are just him ranting and raving about God knows what. I just ignore him and walk by.

On the third floor is a very nice young Jewish man and woman, around 30 years old, they're not a couple and I think he might be gay (not 100% positive, they just moved in). They're rarely home. Across the hall from them is a white man in his 50's who I don't see too often, but I know he collects beanie babies. He seems harmless.

In the basement is the landlord's niece and her cousin. Nice girls, early 30's, we hang out with the niece fairly often.

Other than the horrid guy on the first floor, it's a great building.

by Anonymousreply 4903/04/2013

loved your post R38

by Anonymousreply 5003/04/2013

upstairs: new 300# lesbian, hear every fucking step she laboriously takes. She has insomnia and moves furniture around at 3am. Probably on disability or a trust fund, because she is always home.

Next door, waifish little blond who enjoys Jane Austen to the point of wearing Regency dresses to parties. I pick up the occasional cash making her outfits.

Other next door: mousie thing who blast her music and is always traveling somewhere exotic. I think she may be a prostitute.

by Anonymousreply 5103/04/2013

To the north an older couple with college age kids. Very nice but the wife is a pill popping hypochondriac who constantly complains about migraines but her migraines consist of her sitting outside on their deck chain smoking and yakking on her cellphone while wearing an ice pack strapped around her forehead. She always has some malady. I think she's been using this for years to get out of working outside the home and doing cooking and housekeeping. Her husband does everything. To the east a couple with two young boys, one is perhaps autistic, and communicates by hooting and howling but he does know some sign language. Empty lot to the south. To the west I have no clue. Small house and I see lights on inside but they are never outside in their back yard.

All in all no problems.

by Anonymousreply 5203/04/2013

To the left is an apartment building, the tenants of which all seem to be blacks, latinos, and Armenians. Actually fairly quiet. Across the street is Armenian family that just moved in recently. Only know the next door neighbor well. She is an older white women (70 or so)who feeds every motherfucking cat she finds in the neighborhood. Little fuckers are almost always on our property shitting and peeing on a grass which screws that up pretty good.

Worst was about 6 months ago when I started my car, began backing out, and heard yelps from a cat. I got out to investigate and realized sound came from under the hood. Popped the hood and could not see the gato. Turns out cat was caught in the engined. Got a broom and pushed pussy out whereupon he or she was maimed and ran / limped into the bushes.

Only good news is she is being forced to sell her house, so once food supply leaves, so will the fucking cats.

by Anonymousreply 5303/04/2013

In cold weather, always pound on the hood of your car because cats like to snuggle up into the engine.

Do you know what happened to the kitty?

by Anonymousreply 5403/04/2013 you tell me...No, I have no idea what happened to the cat. But I am especially pissed at the neighbor who is obviously self-centered and doesn't give a shit about what is best for feral cats.

by Anonymousreply 5503/04/2013

Silly Chinese people on one side and rakish Indian guys on the other smoking dope

by Anonymousreply 5603/04/2013

For R42: the song is a ballad and the chorus is "All I need is you". I'm so sick of it, when they start playing 'their song' now,I just play video games with the volume turned up high to drown it out.

by Anonymousreply 5703/04/2013

Four unemployed 20-somethings, two men and two women, who have loud backyard parties every weeknight from 10pm to 4am.

They have wood burning in a fire pit the entire time, so there are billows of acrid smoke everywhere. When my elderly dog went outside to pee, she would come back in the house sneezing and coughing. One time she barked at a particularly loud 3am shoutfest, and someone threw a beer bottle at her. Now I keep the doggie door locked at night.

by Anonymousreply 5803/06/2013

R58 call the damn police.

by Anonymousreply 5903/06/2013

That sucks R58 and I agree with R59.

[quote]Next door, waifish little blond who enjoys Jane Austen to the point of wearing Regency dresses to parties. I pick up the occasional cash making her outfits.

I think that is so cool. I really do.

by Anonymousreply 6003/06/2013

This thread reminds me of that Tom Waits song, "What's He Building in There?". A creepy song about a creepy neighbour.

by Anonymousreply 6103/06/2013

A lesbian couple, both are gingers.

With ginger kids.

One (the butch) is very nice, we discuss plants and flowers all the time, the other gives me side eye often.

by Anonymousreply 6203/06/2013


by Anonymousreply 6303/07/2013

Both single. 1 cat I think. Asian.

by Anonymousreply 6403/07/2013
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