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Question for people of color: How did you learn to love yourself?

I am a person of color and I often feel useless and often a basket case.

I have a problem where I only find white people physically attractive. I am sure at some point most people of color have gone through this. How did you deal with it? How should I go about solving this problem. Try as I might, I am only attracted to white guys. I think this has to do mostly with my upbringing and the high school I went to.

by Anonymousreply 4901/24/2015


by Anonymousreply 103/03/2013

OP, you are Asian, right?

by Anonymousreply 203/03/2013

I'm guessing OP is black and honest.

by Anonymousreply 303/03/2013

This is the third thread in a short time span about a person of colour only being attracted to white guys.

by Anonymousreply 403/03/2013

OP, I'm black and experienced a few years of intense self loathing. All of my friends were/are white and I just got caught up in a bunch of why can't I be like them. I spent some time on a shrink's couch and that helped. It took a long time to realize that black people aren't all bad and that white people aren't all good. In all honesty, both groups are more a like than either would ever care to admit. You'll get through it, if you're prepared to work on it.

by Anonymousreply 503/03/2013

The term "people of color" has to be the most ass-kissingly PC term ever conceived. As if one color is more "colored" than any other. What's next? "Ethnically challenged"?

by Anonymousreply 603/03/2013

Only loving white guys? I'm sorry, what?

by Anonymousreply 703/03/2013

Breastcasting for Womyn of color is always suggested.

by Anonymousreply 803/03/2013

For you OP:

by Anonymousreply 903/03/2013

OP, telling yourself that you SHOULD be attracted to something you're not is just the same as a gay guy telling himself he "should" be attracted to girls. Like what you like and don't worry about it. Your attractions are not wrong.

by Anonymousreply 1003/03/2013

What is your relationship with your family like OP? That's the first place you would generally go to develop a strong sense of self, but if they failed you in that area you may need to start from scratch.

by Anonymousreply 1103/03/2013

I don't believe all these threads where black people only want whites. Not at all. It just doesn' happen. Racism still does though by the looks of things.

by Anonymousreply 1203/03/2013

Oh shut your stupid agenda r12.

by Anonymousreply 1303/03/2013


by Anonymousreply 1403/03/2013

R12, the OP never said he was black. A person of color is simply someone is not white.

by Anonymousreply 1503/03/2013

I'm not sure if I'm saying this name right, is it Jamm-Al?

by Anonymousreply 1603/03/2013

I will admit, growing up in the racist south in the 60s gave me a curious fascination with the forbidden fruit of black men. I loved having sex with them, but I never wanted to be seen with them. Now that I'm old, it doesn't matter.

by Anonymousreply 1703/03/2013

I watched Oprah

by Anonymousreply 1803/03/2013

I am white (female) and I think that often both men/women of color are much more beautiful than white people.

It's sad to hear/see what kind of job the white/male/heterosexist paradigm does to people who don't belong to it.

by Anonymousreply 1903/03/2013

OP, watch this video and listen to the lyrics.

by Anonymousreply 2003/03/2013

What a crock of shit. Plenty of people of color "love" themselves just fine.

by Anonymousreply 2103/03/2013

R19, We already know "people of color" are better looking than whites. This is a known fact.

R22, You got it. "Crock of shit" is the perfect name for this thread.

by Anonymousreply 2303/03/2013

"I am sure at some point most people of color have gone through this. ... Try as I might, I am only attracted to white guys. I think this has to do mostly with my upbringing and the high school I went to."

Actually, not all. Most Blacks and Latinos are attracted to each other. There is plenty of sociological and empirical data if you search. And the vast majority of Black and Latino LGBT live in the larger Black and Latino communities--not in Chelsea or WeHo. UCLA/Wiliams Institute released a big major study with Cenusus data demonstrating this recently. So, the Black and Latino gay men/lesbians that you meet in gayborhoods--or the straight B/L men/women with white partners in those neighbrhoods--are outliers.

But when you say "people of color" I am assuming you are Asian or an immigrant because most Blacks and Latinos ... would know this already.

Or you're a gay white man trolling with their age-old fantasy that every brotha or papi is in love with random, average looking white boys.

I'm Black and grew up in a mostly white area in Los Angeles (Westwood), attended a mostly white high school, attended MIT and have lived everywhere from LA to Chicago to NYC. Due to my "upbringing" you would assume I would be a snow queen ...but far from it.

Child, please. #SMDH

by Anonymousreply 2403/03/2013

Growing up in a rural all white protestant world I have always been attracted to ANYONE different than myself. As a little kid I was fascinated by anyone of color. As an old adult I still am.

by Anonymousreply 2503/03/2013

op i know what u mean. the white race is indeed beautiful and attractive. intelligent too. however there comes a time when ub cannot take the rejecions, disdain , opaqueness etc... that usually occur when u try to chase that dream. eventually u see the light.

by Anonymousreply 2603/03/2013

Here's a hug OP...please don't feel useless. I'm sending you good thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 2703/03/2013


by Anonymousreply 2803/03/2013

R26, I'm white, and I call bullshit. The white race isn't any more of anything than any other race, except fortunate perhaps. Wake up. We shit every morning like you do op, what you're feeling has to do with you and you alone, not us. How can you not love yourself to the point you need to ask strangers how to love yourself? Are you serious?

by Anonymousreply 2903/03/2013


by Anonymousreply 3003/04/2013

This loser has been all over DL with these bullshit threads lately.

He/she/it is either

a) a white racist douche just trying to stir shit and reinforce his own sorry delusion that everyone worships and adores white people


b) some pathetic sadsack who has decided to blame his/her/its utter uselessness as a human on its race/ethnicity. Sorry, asshole, but you are not representative of people of color, most of whom are quite content with the skin they were born in and do not revere or want to be/date white people.

Either way, the world would be better off without a worthless hunk of shit like you, so...

by Anonymousreply 3103/04/2013

I am black and I am beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 3203/04/2013

I'm a white guy who's always been attracted to black guys. Always. I certainly can be attracted to white guys, but black guys go to the front of the line.

Attraction is what it is.

by Anonymousreply 3303/04/2013

R31 I was thinking the same thing. I'm gonna go with "A" - some racist white douche trying to stir up shit.

by Anonymousreply 3403/04/2013

R24, you can't reference data about "blacks and latinos" and have it mean anything. Latinos are basically white.

by Anonymousreply 3511/09/2013

OP; I'm not "white", but I'm sure you'd understand that I have been exposed to "whites" from morning until bedtime.. on the tv, movies, newspapers; and in society, in general.

I'm grateful to the teachers who taught me that happiness comes from within. And the whole world is like a big classroom. They emphasized that no one is less than another before God. And that's because He created all.

Physically, it was (I'll elim the quotation marks) the white males who pursued me. So I simply didn't have the self-loathing associated with darker-skinned people. NO, the self-loathing came from being homosexual. And that has been worked on, night and day. (Sorry, I'm listening to Connie Evingson's version of the Cole Porter song).

by Anonymousreply 3611/09/2013

I'm white and I think black and Asian guys are the most attractive. Some people are just attracted to someone who looks different than their own race, it doesn't have anything to do with self loathing.

by Anonymousreply 3711/09/2013

R15 "Person Of Color" only means non-white in Europe, North America, Australia/NZ.

European features/ coloring are a minority in the global population, and if you think an Anglo will be called "Person of (non majority) Color in China, India, or Nigeria, guess again.

We all have our types. Not attracted to Asian or African men. Like handsome Italians, Spaniards, Irish, cornfed Midwestern American. Not Swedes, nor Indian subcontinent types

Doesn't make me racist. I have a type.

by Anonymousreply 3811/11/2013

I thought we were ALL people of color.

by Anonymousreply 3911/11/2013

[quote] Doesn't make me racist.

You strike me as a pompous asshole who thinks his shit doesn't stink.

by Anonymousreply 4011/11/2013

I feel the same way, OP. Asian-American here, grew up in an abusive family, and I'm disgusted by the thought of dating anyone who even remotely looks like family (i.e., all East Asians).

I went to a boys' school in DC where at the time maybe 80% of the guys were Caucasian, which is the ethnic "group" (or whatever it's supposed to be called - "race" maybe) that I'm primarily attracted to, though I have a thing for Latin guys, too (there were two Latin guys I had serious sexual tension with, one just after 6th grade during the summer and one in middle school (7th and 8th grades).

I grew up reading my brother's issues of GQ from the 1980s and 90s, and mostly the guys in the ads were Caucasian. Same with my secret issues of International Male and Undergear, etc.

Now I'm way into Sean Cody and male models. They're mostly Caucasian. Don't beat yourself up. I used to be really upset about it, because I knew that I'd be at the bottom of the heap in finding a boyfriend, since ... It's too embarrassing / cringeworthy to even write about (no, not just the peen thing, more a general market-power thing that I don't want to describe, but is very likely discussed in the Hot Asian Guys thread (I've avoided that thread b/c I don't want to read that stuff)).

I'm working on becoming a David Geffen-type of guy, so that money will, in a very hollow way, kind of bring me the accompaniment of Caucasian male models and the like (i.e., I'll use money to experience a terrible simulacrum of romantic love, which is about the best I can do given my "damage."

You're so not alone, OP.

by Anonymousreply 4111/11/2013

Play knockout game to get even.

by Anonymousreply 4212/27/2013

I'm white and I think Asians, Hispanics, African Americans are more appealing. I just think some people are attracted to people who look similar to themselves and others like people who are different looking. No big deal.

by Anonymousreply 4312/27/2013

I am Filipino and I am interested in other Filipinos as long as they are masc and cute. I'd date other Asians as well as long as they are masc and cute too. Right now, I am in love with a Colombian guy.

That being said, I don't find blonde guys attractive. And for some reason, I don't get aroused by Sean Cody videos. I find the models a bit bland looks-wise.

by Anonymousreply 4412/27/2013

Filipinos are a special case. They are usually hot and attracted to each other.

by Anonymousreply 4512/27/2013

This is important thread that should be resurrected.

by Anonymousreply 4601/10/2015


by Anonymousreply 4701/24/2015

I was about to ask you the same question, pasty, chicken-meat, white boy.

by Anonymousreply 4801/24/2015

[quote]I have a problem where I only find white people physically attractive. I am sure at some point most people of color have gone through this.

God, no! I hope you've sought counseling since this was posted.

by Anonymousreply 4901/24/2015
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