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I wish I were a MILF.

I'd flirt like hell with my son's hot athletic teenage friends and put on the show of a lifetime for them. I'd dress super-provocatively, bending down to "accidentally" reveal T&A and maybe a trace hint of V. I'd giggle and touch them suggestively on the shoulder or arm if they were to say something they thought was amusing. I'd lick my lips as we chatted. Essentially I'd tease the hell out of them and take their raging hormones to a near explosive brink. All the other moms would jealously label me the neighborhood slut and fruitlessly demand that their sons (and husbands) stay away from me.

by Anonymousreply 2503/04/2013

You're not alone in wishing you existed in some alternate universe, OP. We all wish you did too.

by Anonymousreply 103/02/2013

I have you arrested for molesting my boy!

by Anonymousreply 203/02/2013

Interesting fantasy, especially since OP is a guy.

by Anonymousreply 303/02/2013

OP thinks he's Mrs. Robinson, but he's really Baby Jane.

by Anonymousreply 403/02/2013

This was a storyline in 'Desperate Housewives' .... twice, I think,

by Anonymousreply 503/02/2013

These women only exist in pornos. Most moms of teenage sons are fat and out of shape and the last thing on their minds is sex.

by Anonymousreply 603/02/2013

What an odd fantasy that is, OP.

by Anonymousreply 703/02/2013

I'd get pregnant by all the men on my street.

by Anonymousreply 803/02/2013

I would SO kill to be her.

by Anonymousreply 903/02/2013

I'll add to R6 and say none of their sons' friends would touch them with a 10 ft pole.

by Anonymousreply 1003/02/2013

OP is Helen Bishop. You know she's...

... divorced.

by Anonymousreply 1103/02/2013

Your children would hate you, OP, and would never invite their friends over because they'd be so embrassed by your behavior.

by Anonymousreply 1203/02/2013

This seems to be the latest installment in a recent series of "if only I was a woman I'd slut it up with every hot guy who'd throw me a glance"-postings. Since it's apparent that you are damaged goods already, OP, why not just go ahead and chop it off...

by Anonymousreply 1303/02/2013

[quote]I would SO kill to be her.

Are you pre- or post- operative OP?

by Anonymousreply 1403/02/2013

Sad that you want to be envied by other women who have what you yourself envy. Wanting to be envied by those you envy is a sickness. Today, go do something tangible for yourself.

by Anonymousreply 1503/02/2013

OP, you're a MAN, right?

by Anonymousreply 1603/02/2013

OP: I get chocked up, thinking how you have wasted your life.

You could have been so happy, had you been a simple street prostitute while you were still marketable.

by Anonymousreply 1703/02/2013

You mean a frau? Your candor is refreshing and appreciated.

by Anonymousreply 1803/02/2013

I'm chocking as I type.

by Anonymousreply 1903/02/2013

OP It's too bad those boys aren't attracted to your old sagging man tits.

by Anonymousreply 2003/02/2013

OP, you could model yourself on Barbara Eden in Harper Valley PTA!

by Anonymousreply 2103/02/2013

You can do it! Go out and buy some lingerie, shave your body and advertise on CL.

by Anonymousreply 2203/04/2013

OP/ r9 : your use of the word KILL is now officially creepy.

by Anonymousreply 2303/04/2013

I am with you OP, I would be the slutty Mom sleeping with the hunky sons and the hunky husbands.

by Anonymousreply 2403/04/2013

"Yeah, I'd fuck me"

by Anonymousreply 2503/04/2013
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