Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

I'm.... sad.

I realize I'm in a (sort of, I guess) relationship with a guy I honestly love. But I'm the one who has to do all the work. I know that if I wasn't so invested in this he wouldn't be in my life.

He never says anything affectionate. I have to ask him if he LIKES me. He says yes. When I ask him if he really wants to be with me he says yes, but....

I don't know. I think I'm to him the "thing" you be with when you don't have anything better in sight. And such a stupid fuck for putting up with this, I know. But I don't want to lose him.

I already know you're going to crucify me for being stupid but I'll ask anyway. What am supposed to do? Do you think he's just the kind of person to whom it's difficult to be affectionate. Or do you think that he doesn't really care for me?

I'm feeling sad.

by Anonymousreply 2203/02/2013

That's sad OP. Sorry to hear. It sounds like "flogging a dead horse".

Just out of curosity - how old are you both?

by Anonymousreply 103/02/2013

at least you have a boyfriend boo fckin Hoo

by Anonymousreply 203/02/2013

You should move on. You seem to have bad self esteem. Do you not think you will find or get anyone else?

by Anonymousreply 303/02/2013

"Love makes fools of us all."

by Anonymousreply 403/02/2013

OP- just got out of the same sort of relationship (actually i think he was an aspie, so that might explain a few things) him, he was able to say he was in a relationship (like an item checked off a list) but never got over the "me" and into the "we"...he was always on the go: if I didn't plan an event for him to be part of he would find one with his friends (all female, so no worry about cheating) or family.

Our problem came about when events collided and he would double book. If he preferred the content of their event over mine, he would go with them: the relationship had no bearing, just the fun.

When this occurred on Christmas, I dumped him.

On the affection level, mine wasn't into it...he hated being touched or caressed (too ticklish) it seemed we were friends (except I paid for everything).

Even with him I did everything alone: watch tv, play video games, hang out with my friends, jerk off on the computer....I told him the difference between being with him and being single, was that single was cheaper.

by Anonymousreply 503/02/2013

move on, life is too short.

by Anonymousreply 603/02/2013

He's straight, sweetie. Anderson used to do this to Kathy ALL the time.

by Anonymousreply 703/02/2013

[quote]What am supposed to do?

Leave him. I wish I had left mine, a man who "couldn't be gay," sooner than I did, and it was only two years.

by Anonymousreply 803/02/2013

He is just not that into you.

by Anonymousreply 903/02/2013

OP, the guy is probably just using you. He probably throws a bone (pun intended) to you once in a while just to keep the thing going, so he can continue mooch materialistic things from you.

You actually already answered your own question. Be strong. Don't get hurt.

by Anonymousreply 1003/02/2013

R10 Ditto. It happened to me, only I was the one to get dumped (via text-message!)

by Anonymousreply 1103/02/2013

I feel for you R11 watch some Kelly!

by Anonymousreply 1203/02/2013

He might be like me, which is contented enough in relationships, but fully aware that if the relationship were to dissolve... I would still be content.

I am just not a romantic. I enjoy spending time with a person (even for years), but I am keenly aware at all times that I am responsible for my own happiness, and that it can never be dependent on anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 1303/02/2013

Ask yourself why you don't want to loose him if he makes you unhappy and seems to not be particularly interested in you, let alone 'we'.

by Anonymousreply 1403/02/2013

Rule out Aspie and dysfunctional, selfish mother. It's not you.

by Anonymousreply 1503/02/2013

Are you a girl, OP? I can't really tell.

by Anonymousreply 1603/02/2013

This will help you in future relationships. You now know you need someone who is affectionate and let's you know you're wanted.

Let him know this is what you need and if it doesn't change you'll be better off alone. No threats just information you've learned about yourself.

Then follow through and treat yourself with some self respect. No more of the "Do you like me?" stuff. That's unbecoming and a turnoff.

by Anonymousreply 1703/02/2013

I've only been through this twice. Both times while working on long-term assignments in desolate rust-belt hellholes.

The things we do for an occasional warm body and someone to text "what's up" when you're bored out of your mind.

Thank God for big cities full of options.

by Anonymousreply 1803/02/2013

R17 has some good insight, OP.

Use this experience to know what it is you DON'T want in a relationship and what you really need in a relationship. It sounds simple but it's not. Write down the qualities you look for in a mate. Think about it. What's really important?

by Anonymousreply 1903/02/2013

People who claim they have difficulty with affection or even saying affectionate things have no business being in a relationship with anyone. A relationship should be your refuge. Dump him.

by Anonymousreply 2003/02/2013

Don't be sad. Get even. Do not show any sort of jealousy and stop the "do you LIKE me" stuff. Now here's where revenge comes in, my favorite part. I figured a guy I was in love was cheating on me. Not your case, at the moment, but, let's face it, it's only a matter of time. Find a guy who is better looking than your boyfriend. Spend the night with him and make sure your boyfriend finds out, not directly. When he does, he'll want you so badly, he'll commit and never look at another man again. At least that's the way I figured it would work out for me.

PS. It didn't.

by Anonymousreply 2103/02/2013

I know how you feel, OP. It must be exhausting to keep this relationship going.

by Anonymousreply 2203/02/2013
Need more help? Click Here.

Follow theDL catch up on what you missed

recent threads by topic delivered to your email

follow popular threads on twitter

follow us on facebook

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!