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If you were allowed to make a law, what law would it be?

I'd make it so that celebrities aren't paid as much as they are and more money is funneled toward the healthcare industry.

by Anonymousreply 9404/16/2013

People on government assistance shouldn't be allowed to vote

by Anonymousreply 102/27/2013



by Anonymousreply 202/27/2013

People who can't afford to have children anywhere in the world cannot breed and should be sterilized.

by Anonymousreply 302/27/2013

Ban male circumcision (just as underage female cutting is illegal) unless the male is 18 or even 21 or unless there were a compelling medical reason, which is also relatively rare. By the time the male is an adult, he would realize cutting is barbraic and unnecessary, and he would enjoy having a foreskin.

by Anonymousreply 402/27/2013

The highest paid executive (or any other person) at a company cannot make more than 100 times that of the lowest paid person (part-timers and contractors included). Pay is defined as the full compensation package (annual income, benefits, bonuses, stock, etc). When correcting the imbalance, at least 30% of the delta being closed must be made up of raising the wages/bonuses on the poorest employees ... the rest can be done by cutting the compensation packages of the highest paid.

Currently it's nearly 500 times, so bringing it down to 100 times (while still outrageous) would be a vast improvement.

by Anonymousreply 502/27/2013

Ban the banning of circumcision, should it ever be banned. Head hiders: who needs 'em?

by Anonymousreply 602/27/2013

Ban the Ban and Bans!

by Anonymousreply 702/27/2013

R1 and R3 are vile.

by Anonymousreply 802/27/2013

Force every man in the world to be circumcized.

by Anonymousreply 902/27/2013

Universal Single Payer health care.

by Anonymousreply 1002/27/2013

force every man to give me head

by Anonymousreply 1102/27/2013

Force R9 and all idiots like him to have their dicks cut off, because they're obviously too fucking stupid to own one

by Anonymousreply 1202/27/2013

Why am I vile, R8?

by Anonymousreply 1302/27/2013

My law shall state "To whom it may concern: When a lady loves a gentleman, he must love her in return."

In re: my law; ad hoc, to wit, to woo: "When a lady feels affectionate, then the man must follow through."

Here's another law we women'll do our best to legislate: "It shall be completely criminal for a man to break a date. Each offender shall be rapidly thrown in jail where he belongs." Thus we'll write our Bill of Wrongs.

My law is what the world is waiting for. Every unrequited lover will be grateful when it meets the full approval of the House and Senate, Such enthusiasm as you never saw will greet my lovely law!

In re: my law; it should be understood: with the help of women everywhere we shall outlaw bachelorhood!

What's more, in lieu...

Morris: Marie, before you're through, I've got some things I'd like to say; if you have got to outlaw anything you should outlaw in-laws, too!

Marie: I'm concerned with what the man must do. "Every girl shall have a honeymoon which shall last at least a year. During which aforesaid honeymoon every care shall disappear. Ipso facto, let the government get the bride and groom alone. After that they're on their own."

Whereas (whereat) hereby (hereof) herein (there-out, and furthermore) My law is what the world is waiting for. We are going to rid the country of contempt of courtship, Legally replacing it with davenportship Such enthusiasm as you never saw will greet my lovely law!

by Anonymousreply 1402/27/2013

I totally agree with R3 and R4.

by Anonymousreply 1502/27/2013

Make a law where idiotic people can't make laws about what others can and can't do.

by Anonymousreply 1602/28/2013

A $100 fine will be imposed on anyone who does not stay to the right when walking on a sidewalk or in a public area such as a park.

by Anonymousreply 1702/28/2013

Women on public assistance will have their tubes tied after second child.

by Anonymousreply 1802/28/2013

Men on public assistance will have a vasectomy after their second child.

by Anonymousreply 1902/28/2013

Greedy people should be fined for greedy acts and the money given to the poor.

by Anonymousreply 2002/28/2013

All elections publicly funded. No company or corporation may donate to any political cause. No individual may donate more than $2000 in any given election cycle to any given politician (i.e. all donations to all politicians in a given four year period may not amount to more than $2000). No individual may donate more than $2000 per year to any political party.

Capital Gains taxed at the same level as income for everyone.

A financial transaction tax of 0.1% on every stock trade.

Estate tax of 50% on all inheritance over $2Million (the value of family farms and small private local businesses exempt from the calculation).

Banning of private, for-profit prisons. Immediate disbarment and jail time for any Judge found to have declared guilty and sent anyone to a private prison they themselves had invested in.

Immediate re-instatement of the Glass-Steagall act, and breaking up of all big banks into private savings and investment entities.

Immediate closure of all tax loopholes on corporations and the wealthy that encourage them to ship jobs over-seas, or stash profits and wealth in over-seas "tax-havens".

Immediate end to all federal government subsidies to profitable fossil fuel industries.

by Anonymousreply 2102/28/2013

After single payer healthcare:

Reverse the Hyde Amendment and have government fully fund abortions.

by Anonymousreply 2202/28/2013

17% Flat tax on income and VAT on purchases over $1,000.

by Anonymousreply 2302/28/2013

Why wait until the second, R18 and R19?

by Anonymousreply 2402/28/2013

That's an easy question for me ...

If I had the power to make a law, I'd require that ALL elected officials be required to do their own annual income tax returns, with paper forms and a pen (No software, no professional preparer.) Want to bet you'd see REAL simplification of our tax code, really fast?? :)

As it stands, our federal elected representatives get free professional tax preparation as a Congressional benefit. They have no idea how ridiculously confusing they are making this shit, and no incentive to do otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 2502/28/2013

All hot men required by law to be naked in public.

by Anonymousreply 2602/28/2013

I would have sex with Turkey men

by Anonymousreply 2702/28/2013

All male public figures (political, sports, entertainment, etc) would be required to post cock shots. It would save me hours per week and we would truly understand some of the politics we see.

by Anonymousreply 2802/28/2013

Repeal DOMA


Pass the DREAM act

Pass the American Jobs act

Repeal the Patriot act

Pass a new amendment obliterating the "Citizens United" decision, and repealing corporate "personhood".

Break up the big media companies.

by Anonymousreply 2902/28/2013

The Equal Rights Amendment.

by Anonymousreply 3002/28/2013

Ryan Gosling would be required to make gay porn.

by Anonymousreply 3102/28/2013

Any television show that labels themselves as a "news" show would be required to cite their sources and state only actual facts.

Anything that is interpretation of those facts and conclusions drawn from those facts would be clearly stated as such.

by Anonymousreply 3202/28/2013

[quote]I'd make it so that celebrities aren't paid as much as they are

So you want the people who make the money for the corporations not to get a cut of the accrued revenue, so the suits get to keep trillions made off celebrities' backs? I guess you're pro-corporate Fascism then.

by Anonymousreply 3302/28/2013

Christopher Romansky would be required to make gay porn.

by Anonymousreply 3402/28/2013

R1 40% of people who receive food stamps have full time jobs. 80% of the people who work at Walmart collect food stamps. Those people all pay taxes. If you collect unemployment benefits, you have to pay tax on those benefits. Unless you live in public housing, a person on public assistance pays property tax (either directly if they own, indirectly if they rent).

What was it Patrick Henry said about taxation without representation?

by Anonymousreply 3502/28/2013

Not quite the same thing. They actually do have representation as they can vote unless they are undocumented or felons.

by Anonymousreply 3602/28/2013

All pets would be required to be spayed or neutered after one optional breeding cycle.

Anyone who abandons a pet to an animal shelter should have to do community service for the shelter for one year, or pay for them to take the animal.

by Anonymousreply 3702/28/2013


by Anonymousreply 3802/28/2013

R21 get my vote.

by Anonymousreply 3902/28/2013

All personal assets over $1 billion would be seized.

by Anonymousreply 4002/28/2013

Harsh, r40!

by Anonymousreply 4102/28/2013

R40 Are you fucking serious?

by Anonymousreply 4202/28/2013

Marshall Law

by Anonymousreply 4302/28/2013

Reinstate the "Fairness Doctrine"

All members of congress, and all wall-street traders and all CEOs of all publicly traded corporations and all private businesses with revenues over $1Billion annually would be subjected to regular drug testing. Every positive result would require a $1million fine. Third strike means abdication of position and permanent banning from holding a similar position ever again.

Once that's in place for ten years or so, THEN we can talk about drug-testing welfare recipients.

by Anonymousreply 4402/28/2013

I would create an administrative order in my judicial circuit forcing all attorneys, members of law enforcement, witnesses, etc., to address judges as "Mary" (or possibly "Helen") instead of "Your Honor" or "Judge."

I so long to be able to say in court, "With all due respect, MARY, I object!"

by Anonymousreply 4502/28/2013

R45 I am so sick today, and you are making me laugh, MARY, which is making me cough, MARY. CMAO.

by Anonymousreply 4602/28/2013

I'm not a legal scholar, but I do indeed believe that a Supreme Court decision in favor of gay marriage would make such marriage available in every state.

I hope that lawyers will soon chime in.

by Anonymousreply 4702/28/2013

Well, I'm glad I could make you laugh, R46, but I'm sorry for causing the coughing fit. I hope you feel better.

"Come [italic]on[/italic], MARY, if you allow this line of questioning, it will only serve to inflame the jury! This is nothing other than allowing prejudice, MARY, pure and simple!"

I would be the happiest gay man in the world if I could actually say that in court.

by Anonymousreply 4802/28/2013

Sorry, wrong thread.

by Anonymousreply 4902/28/2013

I object MARY!

by Anonymousreply 5002/28/2013

I would make comprehensive sex education compulsory in all American high schools.

I'm so tired of those conservative counties in red states that legislate "abstinence only", therefore precluding any real discussion of human sexuality. Too many teen pregnancies and STDs result from such a "bury our heads in the sand" stance.

As part of the law that I propose, free condoms in all American high schools would be mandatory. "The Pill" would be freely available through gynecologists for girls over 14, with or without parental consent.

by Anonymousreply 5102/28/2013

That's really good, R51. I support your proposed law 100%.

by Anonymousreply 5202/28/2013

Term limits for congress: two terms as Senator (12 years) or six terms as Congressperson (12 years). No more career politicians.

by Anonymousreply 5302/28/2013

No member of Congress, or the Presidential Administration, shall be allowed to lobby Congress for a period of 12 years after serving in Congress.

by Anonymousreply 5402/28/2013

... or the Administration.

by Anonymousreply 5502/28/2013

The 535 people we've have sent to Washington to represent us must relinquish their current medical plan and be required to participate in ObamaCare.

by Anonymousreply 5602/28/2013

That all lawyers, judges and law students clean public toilets for free on weekends.

And that the millions in NYC pick up litter from subway tracks and trap rats too.

by Anonymousreply 5702/28/2013

Illegal to be mean to one another

by Anonymousreply 5802/28/2013

R43, do you mean, "martial law"?

by Anonymousreply 5902/28/2013

To expand on what R56 said... all laws passed by Congress must affect Congress people equally as it does the public at large. They should be required to use the same health care, have the same tax rules, follow the same laws, etc. No exceptions for them.

But beyond that, no Congress person should be allowed to invest in the stock market (it amounts to 'insider trading'), or publish books, or otherwise reap monetary benefit while in office. They need to focus on their jobs.

Too many people (mostly republicans) see election to Congress as a cash-cow, not a solemn honor and responsibility to represent their constituents.

by Anonymousreply 6003/01/2013

Can we stop lobbying?

by Anonymousreply 6103/01/2013

Tax any and every church that get in any way involved in politics.

by Anonymousreply 6203/01/2013

R59, you don't realize that "Marshall Law" is an old DL intentional misuse like pron, cak and graxy. Many people used to misuse it instead of the correct martial law, so it was affectionately adopted at DL. There even used to be an authenticated poster named Marshall Law.

by Anonymousreply 6303/01/2013

Strict limits on campaign spending for Congress along with a two-term limit for Congress.

Today, as soon as someone wins an election, their entire focus is on raising money for the next election.

by Anonymousreply 6403/01/2013

Theists are not human beings. Their mass public torture mutilation is not merely legal, but is actually required.

by Anonymousreply 6503/02/2013

Mandatory gay-sex education in High School.

by Anonymousreply 6603/04/2013

I would like to do away with all political parties.

by Anonymousreply 6703/06/2013

Death Penalty for people who park their cars diagonally across parking lines so that neighboring cars won't "ding" their doors.

by Anonymousreply 6803/06/2013

Mandatory required castration for all right-wing religious gun-nuts. Any off-spring they might have had prior to the castration would be given post-natal abortions.

by Anonymousreply 6903/07/2013

I think actors should be paid AFTER the movie opens... &/or bombs

by Anonymousreply 7003/07/2013

All those in the top 2% financially in this country would have to get all their ill gotten gains back to the USA and then give 95% of it to the poor, some directly and most to programs for the poor.

They would never again be allowed to keep anything more than 15 thousand a year so they would know what it feels like to live like those on minimum wage, SSI, low amounts of SS, etc.

They would also have to give up everything they own including most of their clothes and the food in their homes and move into slums. Seeing is how they could never again get to keep more than 15 grand a year they will never be able to move from them.

by Anonymousreply 7103/07/2013

Male nudity would be legalized. College wrestlers and swimmers just compete nude.

by Anonymousreply 7203/07/2013

... and male gymnists.

by Anonymousreply 7303/08/2013

It would be legal to kill paparazzi with your car.

by Anonymousreply 7403/08/2013

Before being able to register to vote, one would have to take a test that would determine if they have a basic understanding of how this country's government works and such. If they fail, they can't vote, but they can retake the test during the next election cycle.

by Anonymousreply 7503/08/2013

Anyone convinced that cream cheese isn't cheese but a dessert would be subjected to public stoning.

by Anonymousreply 7603/14/2013

Death penalty for making "duck face" in any photo, ever.

Retroactive to the 80s.

by Anonymousreply 7703/16/2013

R75, perhaps you should take your own test first. What you're proposing is unconstitutional.

by Anonymousreply 7803/17/2013

I'd ban Rush Limbaugh from any employment by anyone, and see how long it takes him to starve to death.

by Anonymousreply 7904/16/2013

R35 current figures make it 87% of folks on food stamps work full time.

by Anonymousreply 8004/16/2013

Not only do religious institutions lose their tax-free status in America, they would be taxed at a 75% bracket.

by Anonymousreply 8104/16/2013

Make comparative religion classes mandatory in basic school, so everybody can learn how all that stuff was fiction made up by power hungry men.

by Anonymousreply 8204/16/2013

R82 wins.

by Anonymousreply 8304/16/2013

Institute a 2-tier public school system.

Tier 1 would be for students who use the school for its intended purpose and who treat their fellow students and teachers well. Students would have a great deal of freedom and academic standards would be high (or at least much progress from your current level would be expected). Tier 1 would be generously funded and have all sorts of (voluntary) arts and sports extracurriculars.

Tier 2 would be a boot camp style institution for the unsocialized savages that make school life impossible for their fellow students and teachers. Tier 2 would be a rigid somewhat miserable existence where your only rewards would come from academic progress and a kind and generous attitude toward peers. Students could earn their way back to tier 1 with a year or two of sustained civility. Tier 2 would have no sports.

by Anonymousreply 8404/16/2013

Animal cruelty would be a felony, not a mere misdemeanor, with harsh fines and prison time.

And maybe we get to do to the person whatever it was they did to the animal.

by Anonymousreply 8504/16/2013

Tax the church.

No more corporations buying off lawmakers.

No more incest between Big Pharma and the corrupt/inept FDA (fucking murderers).

No more direct-to-consumer advertising of Rx drugs.

If you're on public assistance = tubes tied.

No more residential property sales allowed to foreign citizens. Want to buy a house here? Get your papers.

Oh--and I'm taking away your guns.

by Anonymousreply 8604/16/2013

Break up the food monopolies and get their representatives out of the FDA. They are making us fat and sick with all the chemicals and GMOs banned in the rest of the world.

Same with banks, big pharma..

Corporations should not have influence over the regulatory agencies that oversee them. You would think this would be obvious and cause for outrage if not followed.

Lazy corporate owned media will not report on this.

by Anonymousreply 8704/16/2013

[quote]If you're on public assistance = tubes tied.

That's sexist (and likely a little racist), as well as less than effective.

by Anonymousreply 8804/16/2013

No government member may be allowed to participate in a vote to raise their own salary.

by Anonymousreply 8904/16/2013

As part of Diversity programs, universities would be required to have a Right Wing professor for ever Left Wing professor, so students will be taught both sides and not continued to be brainwashed by the Libs.

by Anonymousreply 9004/16/2013

Politicians we sent to Washington would be required to participate in ObamaCare, relinquishing the lifetime Golden Health Plan for them and their families.

by Anonymousreply 9104/16/2013

Facts and logic have a left wing bias, R90.

by Anonymousreply 9204/16/2013

R90 = ignorant moron

by Anonymousreply 9304/16/2013

Lying in politics,business or any matter of public interest or discourse would be actionable.

Oh, and complete and systemic campaign finance reform..get the goddamn lobbyists and corporate money OUT of our electoral system!

by Anonymousreply 9404/16/2013
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