I had incredible sex this morning
With my dildo. I was able to imagine being impaled by every hot guy I spotted this past week. After banging my prostate into ecstasy, I came buckets, showered and repaired to the veranda in my robe (no caftan! lol) with my tea and The Times. No muss, no fuss, no std's. No awkward brunches or walks in the park afterwards...
|by Franck||reply 47||03/04/2013|
Sounds like a good deal to me!
|by Franck||reply 2||02/24/2013|
But will the dildo call you tomorrow?
|by Franck||reply 4||02/24/2013|
Do you have one with a suction cup so you can stick it to the wall?
My favorite is the one molded after Johnny Hazzard's dick. So thick.
Sometimes I deep-throat it while I'm plowing myself with a vibrator.
Better orgasms than I've ever had with a person, and no STD fears.
|by Franck||reply 5||02/24/2013|
Sometimes a guy just has to take matters into his own hand.
And I totally agree with you, OP.
|by Franck||reply 6||02/24/2013|
This afternoon I was raped by a lucha libre.
|by Franck||reply 7||02/24/2013|
Well, isn't that special.
|by Franck||reply 8||02/24/2013|
I had that dildo last month,OP.It gave me scabies.
|by Franck||reply 9||02/24/2013|
Why do I suddenly hear a new version of Heart's song: "He's a plastic man!"
|by Franck||reply 10||02/24/2013|
The way DL people describe sex never ceases to gross me out. Erotic writers we are not.
|by Franck||reply 11||02/24/2013|
Dildos mean never having to say you're sorry.
|by Franck||reply 12||02/24/2013|
Just call me angel of the morning ....
|by Franck||reply 13||02/24/2013|
[quote]Do you have one with a suction cup so you can stick it to the wall?
Dear god I hope the wall in question is tastefully decorated and the color compliments the color of the dildo. Imagine being fucked by clashing colors. The horror, the shame.
|by Franck||reply 14||02/24/2013|
R14 "Compliments"? Oh dear...if you are doing to be the doyenne of taste, you need to review the difference between "compliments" and "complements." Glass houses, dearie...
|by Franck||reply 16||02/24/2013|
Did you and the dildo do the Times Sunday crossword together?
|by Franck||reply 18||02/24/2013|
I just use him for the necessary friction.
|by Franck||reply 19||02/24/2013|
Doesn't that cause cancer?
|by Franck||reply 20||02/24/2013|
This guy makes sex toys with common household objects.
|by Franck||reply 21||02/24/2013|
It was kind of Meh, actually
|by Franck||reply 22||02/24/2013|
A dildo is preferable, no need to get turned off my washing out your hole.
|by Franck||reply 23||02/24/2013|
Now I also have a strange rash
|by Franck||reply 24||02/24/2013|
I just wanted it over with so I could get back to my Sudoku.
|by Franck||reply 26||02/24/2013|
If I wasn't an inanimate plastic object I would be out of this relationship in a New York minute.
|by Franck||reply 29||02/24/2013|
[repaired to the veranda]
|by Franck||reply 30||02/24/2013|
OP = Peggy Noonan, former Reagan speechwriter
|by Franck||reply 31||02/24/2013|
How nice that you have found a sex partner with whom you can talk on your own level.
|by Franck||reply 32||02/24/2013|
Do not click the link at r21. You'll need to dip your head in bleach afterwards.
|by Franck||reply 33||02/24/2013|
Bravo, OP! Your post made me hard. And it gave me plans for the rest of my evening.
|by Franck||reply 35||02/24/2013|
Truth be told, I was faking it.
|by Franck||reply 36||02/24/2013|
truth be told, it's harder than the last date I had
|by Franck||reply 38||02/24/2013|
I did too. I wish my bf wasn't into waking my ass up too early though. I was sleeping nice and sound and here he comes bringing out the toys and flipping my ass over.
I really just wanted to sleep though.
|by Franck||reply 39||02/25/2013|
Does your dildo spurt fake cum and what is the fake cum made out of? Don't tell me it's yogurt with half a cup of sea salt......
|by Franck||reply 41||02/26/2013|
OP, what color was the dildo?
My guess would be black, because if you're that lazy seeking out sex , I imagine you're even lazier when it comes to washing your dildos.
|by Franck||reply 42||02/26/2013|
My God, The mind boggles when trying to imagine what the OP must look like.
|by Franck||reply 43||02/26/2013|
If I were OP's dildo, I'd claim to have a headache.
|by Franck||reply 44||03/01/2013|
R39, you can't rape the willing
|by Franck||reply 45||03/01/2013|
did you offer the dildo turkey meatballs after?
|by Franck||reply 46||03/01/2013|