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Shopping at the DL department store

I'm going to buy the following items:

1)One of Bonnie Franklin Inc.'s "Hold Me, David" Snuggie blankets

2)A Red Dragon cheese and Beef Sausage basket

3)The T-shirt with the slogan, "I'm no virgin, but three fingers is my limit" or maybe, the "Go Fuck Todd" T-shirt. Umm, decisions, decisions.

The "This.Never.Happened" children's picture Bible (as an Easter gift for my niece and nephew)

And, of course, a bottle of Helenesque for Mother's Day.

What's on your shopping list?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 23003/04/2013

I'd get the Go Fuck Todd T-shirt.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 102/24/2013

The every man is really gay cologne.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 202/24/2013

Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 302/24/2013

earrings, caftans

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 402/24/2013

I'm going to buy the hot new books "Why 100% Straight Men Enjoy Gay Sex So Much" and "Doing Porn: The Quick Way to Fame and Fortune."

Can't wait to get home and read them.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 502/24/2013

I'm still waiting for my "I want to see dinasours" T-shirt from an old "Let's remake DL swag" thread some years ago.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 602/24/2013

Summer's Eve Douche -The Cheryl Line

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 702/24/2013

The 'King Kong Will Stop The Rain' line of baby dolls.

'Once Around the Garden' brand salad mix

'DataLounge Land' souvenir maps

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 802/24/2013

Let's not forget Carol Channing's "I Can't Believe It's Corn" line of gourmet corn relishes.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 902/24/2013

R5, I believe it's: "Doing PROn: The Quick Way to Fame and Fortune."

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1002/24/2013

I'm buy that 'Josh' book at the bottom of the big discontinued bin in the basement store. I hear there are some videos of that Planet Green show of his too, and they're only a dozen for 99 cents!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1102/24/2013

OP or someone, please explain #3.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1202/24/2013

At the DL, once you get to the middle of the parking lot, the cart's wheels quit working and you have to leave it there.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1302/24/2013

A creme brulee torch, and creme brulee ramekins, so I can make the darn things myself and my outer space alien pals....NOW!!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1402/24/2013

Oh, look! They just got a shipment of Kyle Richards off-the-shoulder, gold lame "CUNT" football jerseys -- and they're all three sizes too small! Perfect!

This is even a better price than T.J. Maxx!

I'll take FIVE, in every gaudy color!

Now, let's go downstairs to Persian Trannie Petites! I need some plastic hooker shoes!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1502/24/2013

The 'tearoom', on level four, offers such amenities as stud service, a dark room, and a steam room.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1602/24/2013

I'm going to have some of the turkey meatballs in the cafeteria. But I'm not going to ask for free drink refills - won't make that same mistake twice!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1702/24/2013

[quote]Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls.

In the same aisle as the cak & graxy I suspect.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1802/24/2013

Size 42DD Shit Bra

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 1902/24/2013

R12, that's an old mostly forgotten DL joke from the years after 9/11. It's a reference to Lisa Beamer, widow of Todd Beamer of Flight 93 fame. Todd Beamer is the one who was heard saying "Let's roll."

Lisa Beamer was such a ubiquitous media figure in the aftermath, it became a running joke that she was going to open a chain of "Let's Roll!" Cinnamon Roll shops.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2002/24/2013

Well, R3, "Let's Roll" cinnamon rolls was part of a very funny thread mocking a rather obnoxious widow of 9/11 who created a cinnamon roll product line to raise money for herself and other very well-off widows of 9/11. Her charity really began to stink of greed.

The product name, "Let's Roll", was based on what were supposedly the last words that her husband said to her by phone from the doomed United Airlines flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. The husband told her that he was about to lead a group of co-passengers in an attempt to overtake the terrorists who had hijacked the United flight.

Essentially, the wife (Lisa something) became viewed by many people online as a would-be fame whore, trying to cash in the memory of her husband.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2102/24/2013

Our personal shoppers are like the wait staff at Ed Debevic's resturant in Chicago, pointlessly bitchy.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2202/24/2013

The Dom and Elijah "Shout-Out" color guide.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2302/24/2013

Wait, wait, wait... I thought the cinnamon rolls were a DataLounge joke. Please tell me she didn't really come up with that.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2402/24/2013

Sorry, I meant to direct my previous post to R12.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2502/24/2013

I think that you are right, R20 / R24. Sorry, it's been several years since that thread. I got mixed up.

However, Lisa Beamer did try to cash in on "Let's Roll!". Didn't she try to copyright that expression?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2602/24/2013

Not Without My Daughter Frosting

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2702/24/2013

PreLube© brand Lube.

Because you just never know when a moment of Surprise Anal will happen.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2802/24/2013

A box of Dog Fucks Baby in the Ass Huggies!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 2902/24/2013

A package of Freddie Smith's Uncut Sausage Links and some of Cheryl's Moist Mussy Snack Caks.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3002/24/2013

Even though I don't understand what it means, I want a Go Fuck Todd t-shirt in medium please.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3102/24/2013

Best selling self help book, "This Never Happened".

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3202/24/2013

Overheard at closing time:

I've got to get home.  If my pussy isn't attended to by 8 o'clock, I shall be strokin' it for the rest of the evening.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3302/24/2013

R21 = Ann Cunter

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3402/24/2013

Shitty Little Ann's diapers for Big Gurls.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3502/24/2013

The "Oh, Dear" Guide to English Usage

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3602/24/2013

Here's a tip for all of you new shoppers...Run down to the basement level, DL has an overstock of DL Trolls and they are practically giving them away!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3702/24/2013

Where is the turkey meatball department?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3802/24/2013

The Gail Grimes Home Furnishings Collection.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 3902/24/2013

An extra-large white towel for the sauna, with complimentary embroidering of the nickname your fellow gym members have given you.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4002/24/2013

Wire hangers, ideal for reenacting Dl fave "Mommie Dearest".

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4102/24/2013

Gail GRINDS

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4202/24/2013

Your Guide to On-Line Medical Diagnosis

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4302/24/2013

Plastic gargoyle neighbors to place on a ledge.

The DataLounge version of the Garden Gnome.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4402/24/2013

The DL department store still sells CD's, and none of the music is after the 1980s.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4502/24/2013

XXL Caftans

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4602/24/2013

R45 With the exception of "AnnE Hathaway's" Greatest Hits".

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4702/24/2013

Extra bath towels so my tricks that spend the night can at least take a shower.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4802/24/2013

The Anne Hathaway Chia Pet Nose.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 4902/24/2013

Attention DL shoppers, hurry to our flooring department for today's special: sauna flooring featuring a nacreous layer of permacum at no extra cost. No home fitness center is complete without it.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5002/24/2013

Dildos moulded in the likeness of all denominations....Stop by level three's toy department for more gift giving ideas!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5102/24/2013

If you want cigarettes, the only brands that are sold are Virginia Slims and Capris.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5202/24/2013

R52 You nonsmoking ninny we have Benson&Hedges, and Monarch too!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5302/24/2013

Pall-Mall 100's!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5402/24/2013

They are of their time, surely, but I treasure my "I'm crying as I type" tissue dispenser (never got the "My heart goes out" version) and the limited edition Sumerian Farmwives action figure collection.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5502/24/2013

Dr. Amy Bishop brand hair dye in Boom Boom Black. Bedazzled "I can't believe I slept with Jani Lane and all I got is chased out of his house" tee shirts.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5602/24/2013

Surprise Anal Guest Towels in the linens department, please.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5702/24/2013

WWHD? or What would Heath Do bracelets? for people who like to think about every aspect of their life in the context of how Heath Ledger would feel about it. Margarine fountains!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5802/24/2013

The Liza Minnelli Liquor Cabinet Collection

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 5902/24/2013

The pub on 1 has buxom lesbian barmaids! The girls can play darts and shoot pool while the boys shop.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6002/24/2013

The pharmacy on level 1: "Judy's Place"

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6102/24/2013

Would you like to open a DL charge? You'll save 15%!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6202/24/2013

The butcher in the food hall always offers Verifactia for Sizemeat.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6302/24/2013

Notice to our customers: Safety Notice! No caftans on the escalators! They easily get caught in the mechanism. Please use the elevators or stairs.

Happy Shopping!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6402/24/2013

Datalounge Land game and The Prancing Ponies figures collection.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6502/24/2013

Ratty Korean Wigs & More

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6602/24/2013

Bed, Bath & Beyonce!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6702/24/2013

Seventh Floor! Camping Gear and Menstrual Huts!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6802/24/2013

Joey Luft's Blue Bandit Toilet Cakes

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 6902/24/2013

Fuckhead and the Cunt take Manhattan: The third book in the children's trilogy of a hapless couple of dogs on wacky adventures as they trek homeward. $24.95 US

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7002/24/2013

Your eyes were so blue colored contacts from the new DL contact lenses line

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7102/24/2013

"Mariah Carey's CD Store" which only stocks Mariah Carey CDs -- and is going out of business because the owner is a has-been and nobody buys CDs anymore anyway.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7202/24/2013

I suppose it has to be mentioned: The 'I slept with Jani Lane and then he died' T-shirt.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7302/24/2013

For R69 : You gave me such a good laugh. Thanks. I really needed one.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7402/24/2013

Only today in Shirt-A-lounge. The special Taylor Swift T-shirt: I dated Taylor Swift and all I got was a T-Shirt and a lousy song.

Free for customers who indeed dated Taylor Swift.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7502/24/2013

Nate Berkus* Metallic Pouf

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7602/24/2013

The Helen Lawson DVD series.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7702/24/2013

And for the little darlings in your life, please visit the children's clothing department and see out new dazzling "Little Miss America" collection designed by Mrs Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder Colorado!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7802/24/2013

The Entire Series Trilogy.

Book One "My Nephew is Homeless and Shirtless."

Book Two "I Think My Boyfriend is Cheating on Me with My Boss"

Book Three "I Locked My Keys in My Car."

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 7902/24/2013

I could use a new cane, but I'll wait for the seasonal Michfest display.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8002/24/2013

"Your eyes were so blue colored contacts from the new DL contact lenses line"

I like blue.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8102/24/2013

Thank u, R74. I like u.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8202/24/2013

[quote]And for the little darlings in your life, please visit the children's clothing department and see out new dazzling "Little Miss America" collection designed by Mrs Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder Colorado!

You forgot to mention that the DL department store always overlooks those pesky recall notices. Razor-sharp clasps, strangling high necklines, and asbestos-soaked garments are always on trend!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8302/24/2013

Can you believe those old guys--what were they, like 40?--at table six only tipped me like 18 percent on a $70 lunch bill?! After I introduced myself by name and even smiled at least once.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8402/24/2013

Joey Luft should work on a line of stuffed animals, mainly bunnies. They can be sold with the Jon Benet clothing.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8502/24/2013

Don't forget to make an appointment at the Foreskin Restoration Clinic. On 7, next to the Fine Leather Goods department.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8602/24/2013

The Swash* by Brondell

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8702/24/2013

Marc at the grill on 6, I'll have the daily special...

Tuna Melt?!!!Perfect!!!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8802/24/2013

Discontinued Abercrombie shirts for the 45 year old gay man who wants to look 20.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 8902/24/2013

R84 Marc, we stiffed you because you responded with a "no problem" instead of "you're welcome."

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9002/24/2013

"Suitcase with Wheels" for those weekend sojourns to NYC. Small and lightweight for easy entry into gay bars to find home for the night.

Comes with a complimentary bottle of Janie Layne's new fragrance, "GET OUT! I'M MARRIED!", guaranteed to repel those pesky gay one nights stands and get them out of the house... fast!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9102/24/2013

Dart boards with photos of Lena Dunham and Amy Bishop on them.

Gift coupons for the Olive Garden.

A DL member's self published book on "The Greatest Male Porn Stars".

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9202/24/2013

"Karen Carpenters Countin' Calories!" app for the dieters. In the 'Possibly Lesbian' section on floor 10.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9402/24/2013

Fat bastard's guide to sounding thin.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9502/24/2013

The Muscle Max Grill on six has shirtless waiters serving high protein foods on weight plates. oooh-la-la!

Conveniently by the "speedo's for the beautiful"*** department.

***bouncers at the department entrance, no fats, femmes, or unworthy.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9602/24/2013

"Tami Erin sings the classics" cd in the soon to be obsolete cd section, near the Mariah Carey display.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9702/24/2013

Lens Dunham brand photographic equipment. Catch the sale on wide-angle lenses. Cameras, on 8 and in our suburban branches.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9802/24/2013

This is actually a real thing. On the Shark tank on Friday two fraus had a line of bedding and room decorations for little girls called, wait for it..Addison't Wonderland. The fucking bedding was $1400 for a twin set. A TWIN SET! For girls..for $1400. I think it should go in the bedding section.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 9902/24/2013

Attention, shoppers! Julianne Moore is signing copies of her autobiography, "Me, Seriously," in our book department on the mezzanine.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10002/24/2013

I hope that Marc at the Once Around the Garden Cafe on level 3 doesn't get snippy with me when I explain to him that my Jayden has very serious allergies and we need the restaurant cleared out of all peanut and gluten products at least three hours before we come in. I understand that the most expensive thing there is only 20 dollars and we are making him empty the place just for us but he really needs to think of the children.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10102/24/2013

The Datalounge print gallery is having 80% off all Tom Bianchi photos. We need to make room for the Spring 2013 Soulmates collection. This sale is not to be missed.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10202/24/2013

Tom Bianchi will be signing copies of his new book "At Long Last Love: 50 Soulmates Who Have Touched Me In A Special Way, Jan.-Feb. 2013 Edition" in the Datalounge print gallery from 4-6pm today.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10302/24/2013

'Tina bring me the Axe body spray' in Men's furnishings.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10402/24/2013

Ladies, join us in the Wisteria Room on five. We're having a special showing of the latest styles from the Helen Lawson Spring Wig Collection. These new styles are fashioned from 100% Virgin Dynel and are now top rack dishwasher safe!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10502/24/2013

Massengil medicated douche is buy one get one free right now. Better stock up!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10602/24/2013

And for the butch gals who enjoy a good douche, Listerine is in aisle five.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10702/24/2013

I can ring ya up on registah far!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10802/24/2013

Ann, where can I find the carn cob holders?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 10902/24/2013

Where is the "I'll plant my own tree" garden section? Did they move it again? I need some new bulbs, a duck laid an egg in my flower box.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11002/24/2013

"Golden Girls Inconsistencies - The Complete Collection"

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11102/24/2013

Half-Pint's ShitBra Collection, in Lingerie, on 5.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11202/24/2013

The Line of "No One Knows I'm Gay" greeting cards. For the delusional shopper.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11302/24/2013

I understand there's a special this week on SJP brand Horsie Chow in the Pet Department, adjacent to the snack bar on ten.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11402/24/2013

The Complete Barbra Streisand CD/DVD Collection, to make even more money for the diva who drives vast amount of people - hordes! - crazy because she refuses to stop singing.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11502/24/2013

"I'd Like To Thank - The Definitive Guide to Predicting Next Year's Oscar Winners" by Lynn Stairmaster

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11602/24/2013

Precious Moments figurines for the family who lost a child in a brutal shooting, in the glasswares section, level 2.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11702/24/2013

Why is the Gift Wrapping Department labeled "Presenting"?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11802/24/2013

I need to speak with a manager, this is disgusting! I can't believe it, someone shit in the dressing room..who does that? at a store?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 11902/24/2013

Where's the baked potato bar?!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12002/24/2013

Get well soon by Robin, a new line of high end cards for the cancer patient in your life.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12102/24/2013

Autumn Harvest dinnerware. Collect them all. Each place setting or serving piece $18.00.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12202/24/2013

I almost forgot to get to the TV department in time to watch "EST Tonight". Phew, I made it.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12302/24/2013

I hope they aren't out of the Bengali (in) Platforms in the shoe dept!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12402/24/2013

Thank god they make these Jazzy Scooters available to make shopping more convenient. When my fibromyalgia is acting up it's very difficult to walk the fabulous aisles of the DL Department Store.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12502/24/2013

Does anyone know how to file a complaint? The Madonna display is bigger than the Janet display and I will not have it!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12602/24/2013

Skin Yellowing Cream by Oil of Trollay

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12702/24/2013

Can someone direct me to the drapery section? I'm looking for the newest in beef curtains for my bedroom.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12802/24/2013

The "50 But Look 20" Skincare Line is brought to you by Queen Helene's new Luxe line and on First Floor Cosmetics.

This stuff truly works! I use the cleanser, toner, SPF 150 day cream and night cream.

Within a week I was being mistaken for 23 years less than my actual age. And I wasn't even wearing my Abercrombie XS t shirt!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 12902/24/2013

After 50 Loads you get one for free!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13002/24/2013

I hear they are getting a liquor license soon and will be opening a Drinks with David Ehrenstein piano bar soon. I can't wait!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13102/24/2013

I need two ulimited transit passes. I'm riding the bus with my sister.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13202/24/2013

You can't come in you're too fat get out.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13302/24/2013

A prosthetic leg to beat someone to death with.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13402/24/2013

Surviving the Summit: A guide on how not to become a dead body on Mount Everest. In the newly renovated book section.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13502/24/2013

I'm definitely buying the "Suck it, Bitches!" T-shirt.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13602/25/2013

We're having a marciadown on Vagina Capes by Sara, now in Womyn's Separates.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13702/25/2013

Grease fire extinguishers

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13802/25/2013

Off to the music section.

Must buy the new CD "Boundaries Were Stated" by Nan Michiganwomyn with special guest Cris Williamson.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 13902/25/2013

When you're on the Womyn's Separates floor (all penised persons will be escorted out by security, aka Barb and Dutch) be sure to stop at Syster Moonpie's Womyn's World Cafe. It features a 100% meat-free, dairy-free, nut-free, soy-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, cruelty-free, hormone-free menu.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14002/25/2013

The feminine hygiene department is a big as a super-CVS!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14102/25/2013

R131 Ah yes, the salon where our favorites like Ehrenstein and Dan Savage can lecture.

And right next door, the cafe, with Milky Loads milkshakes for one and all!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14202/25/2013

R141, Talk with, [quote] The pharmacy on level 1: "Judy's Place"

We need a store directory!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14302/25/2013

Please have exact change ready or your Visa or Mastercard with your government issued ID. There will be no refunds ever. If you would like an exchange, you MUST have your receipt.

We have clearly stated our boundaries and are telling you now, so that we do not have to tell you then.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14402/25/2013

lol @ R133

Patsy never gets old.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14502/25/2013

Be sure to visit our new wedding registry counter under the "Congratulations, Boys!" banner on the 9th floor. The womyn's wedding registry is in the basement near the tire department.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14602/25/2013

The Dorothy Zbornack Personal Style line.

Full length tunics and suede boots for those warm Miami nights!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14702/25/2013

I'll be releasing my "Isn't It Dramatic" line this Spring! At Woolworth's!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14802/25/2013

2nd floor, cash, weed, pussy!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 14902/25/2013

My neighbor is a Telebubby

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15002/25/2013

Nan, at R144, do you not accept American Express?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15102/26/2013

Non event toasters cuz you're not running a B + B.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15202/26/2013

Pencils

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15302/26/2013

I'm hoping they haven't run out of the baby shaped battering rams in the home furnishings department. I think if you buy storm windows you get one free to use in case of fire.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15402/26/2013

'Tasteful Friends', the new decoration and furniture showroom, is now open for your head-shaking, sighing and chuckling pleasure.

This season black furniture is decisively excluded, though tables chairs and floors still feature those ever-popular stacks of books.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15502/26/2013

Ooh goody r155! Does is also have a webcam in it so that your friends who aren't there to snark with you can do it from afar and anonymously trash it online somewhere?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15602/26/2013

The "Who Gives a Flying Fuck?" DVD Criterion Edition is on sale this week with a special introduction by Lorna Luft.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15702/26/2013

Excuse me miss, but I have problems of my own. - Customer Service motto.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15802/26/2013

Claire's Bread Pudding(tm) food stall.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 15902/26/2013

I like the bargain basement where they stock liquidated crap from Kirker's bankrupt store.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16002/26/2013

I guess the Valentino/Hathaway section is not going to happen.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16102/27/2013

Debra Messing Eyewear. Guaranteed to cure cancer!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16202/27/2013

Seth Macfarlane voodoo dolls have just arrived in womyn's separates!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16302/27/2013

Elizabeth Mitchell signature "giant man hand" women's gloves

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16402/27/2013

Don't forget your pencils and old style telephone to re-enact Tippi in the pet shop in The Birds.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16502/27/2013

On the tannoy: "Our new one-piece foundation garment, zips up the back and no bones".

in hommage to The Women, but anyone who did not know would have to give back their gay card.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16602/27/2013

A dialing phone with a pencil.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16702/27/2013

there's the Olive Garden in the back.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16802/27/2013

Flip flops for work and other formal public places...find then on the end cap in men's accessories.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 16902/27/2013

There is a charge for gift wrapping but the attitude is always free.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17002/27/2013

there's aways elevator music for everyone to enjoy.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17102/27/2013

White belt men receive an extra $18 off of orders NSFW.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17202/27/2013

Get your tin hat here before they are gone.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17302/27/2013

Free soda refils for grammar Nazi's.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17402/27/2013

Special this week in shoe repair: free replacement of the rubber tip on your cane with any resoling of sensible shoes.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17502/27/2013

I'm fairly new. Would someone please explain "shit bra" to me?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17602/27/2013

I plan on picking up some pin-up posters of Alexis Cruz and Jordan Knight before stopping for lunch at The Della Reese all-you-can-eat buffet.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17702/27/2013

[quote]Free soda refils for grammar Nazi's.

Oh, dear. (Could it just be free juice or water, please? Soda is toxic.)

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17802/27/2013

I just found an awesome t-shirt with "YUM" written on it.

I'm gonna be fucked by straight guys forever!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 17902/27/2013

If you've lost your lesbian friend, please go to the courtesy desk in the cane department.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18002/27/2013

The cosmetics counter is having a special on Jungle Red nail polish, and the perfume counter has the new "Eau de Putain" from the Cristal Conners Collection.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18102/27/2013

I'm going to sit at the DL soda fountain to see if I can get "discovered".

I swear I saw Kevin Spacey making eyes at me while I was shopping for some low-riding jockey shorts in the "twinks" department.He keeps following me.

He must think I have Hollywood potential. I hope that he will get thirsty and come sit by me. I've always wanted to be in movies!

Oh, he's coming in. He's just winked at me.

-Sent from my Iphone

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18202/27/2013

The wall of shoplifter photos in the DL security department will only display pictures of the most DELICIOUS criminals!

And all men's dressing rooms* will have cameras behind one-way mirrors to, uh, cut down on pilferage. Yes, that's it.

[italic]* except for the dressing rooms in Big 'n' Tall, of course[/italic]

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18302/27/2013

Which department sells Mama's Mussy Moisteners?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18402/27/2013

For R184:

Take the elevator to the eighth floor. Turn right. Walk through the caftan and earrings department.

Look for the overhead sign that reads "Mama Likee". The moisteners are three aisles down to the left next to the enema bags.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18502/27/2013

Home of fine furniture, fabrics and fisting.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18602/27/2013

Don't forget to visit the "rejected pet store" on the ninth floor. Full of willing, multiply rejected guys of all ages and types.

They are all behind glass and looking for love. You don't even need to go through a screening process. Just send a message to your favorite. He will decide.

One caveat: They are often very needy. Better to take them to a hotel, using a fake name for the first date. Buying them decent clothes and taking them out for a nice dinner is recommended.

You have two weeks to return them with no questions asked. Safe sex is a must, the only thing that you must attest to on an initial application. Also, you MUST abide by the written do's and don'ts of the "pet" that you have struck an agreement with.

I met my last soulmate of three months in that way. I released him with some money in his pocket and free transportaion back to the DL department tank.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18702/27/2013

Are you a womon who hates to be pestered by her pre-rapists while you shop for womon-only things?

Brother Son Daycare is the place to drop off your penised persons while you shop for yourself. Conveniently located at the furthest end of the parking lot, each of your XY-chromosome laden flesh bags will get the best care.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18802/27/2013

This Saturday only: the Datalounge Tea Room (on the second floor, just past Notions) will feature the Peau de Soie Fashion Show Lunch with petits fours, finger sandwiches and DL ball gowns for spring.

Special guest model: The Lovely Mrs. Richard Carlson.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 18902/27/2013

Stop by the fragrance counter and get a bottle of Misogyny Kills.

Stop by the cafe and order a OP Sounds Fat special.

Dont forget to stop by the men's room and visit the glory hole.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19002/27/2013

R190, the glory hole? Just the one, dear?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19102/27/2013

The bathroom dividers in the DL Tea Room's tea room.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19202/27/2013

Today's Special in the Luncheonette: The Lisa Whelchel Sumptuous Whataburger

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19302/27/2013

Ladies and Gents, the Robert Murrae Spring Forward Collection will be shown in the Men's Swimwear department in a special showing at the very time of the Spring Forward time change. That's when EST becomes EDT.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19402/27/2013

[quote] That's when EST becomes EDT.

As long as it's not EDB

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19502/27/2013

[quote]The "This.Never.Happened" children's picture Bible (as an Easter gift for my niece and nephew)

Brilliant

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19603/01/2013

Gargoyle bookends

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19703/01/2013

One-year membership in their flower-bouquet-of-the-month club

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19803/01/2013

Sign at the T-Room:

Want that hole taken care of? Please present it at the gift wrap department.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 19903/01/2013

Attention shoppers, we regret to inform our faithful clientele that the rotating doors to the parking lot are temporarily out of order, due to a mysterious hissing sound they make as one tries to exit the store. We apologize for the inconvenience and ask that you use the employee exit by the lockers until we are able to locate and fix the source of that problem.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20003/01/2013

For the crafty DL-er who essays to make his own caftans, on Level Four we have the Fancy Joann Fabric section.

On request they will embroider, gratis, the legend "Sloooowww dowwwnnn!" on your throw pillows - a treat for your tasteful and slutty friends alike.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20103/01/2013

The Taylor Swift Beard Grooming Kit

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20203/01/2013

End-of-the-line, shop-soiled, unsaleable and damaged goods can be found en masse in Mother's Basement.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20303/01/2013

An announcement from our Over The Moon Baby Shop. It is not possible to return babies, because they are 'so last season'. Please check the shop's return policy for further information and also check out The Over The Moon Baby Shop Angelina Jolie special: Buy 7 and get one for free! Get yourself a bundle of joy now!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20403/01/2013

Hey hey hey bro --

That's not a gravy boat, that's a moon cup

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20603/01/2013

Circle your calendar DL shoppers! April 1st. is the debut of "Elaborate Scenario" a new fragrance from Judy Pills

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20703/01/2013

Today in the most formal Catty Chat Room we offer these specials:

bread pudding with bourbon sauce

wilted lettuce salad with hot bacon dressing

chicken salad with pecans

celery dressing

a “Hidden Sandwich” that features chicken or turkey, ham, bacon, and Swiss cheese, smothered in shredded lettuce and Russian dressing.

All entrees include artisanal bread and hand churned butter!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20803/01/2013

Cheryl has been conspicuously absent from the feminine hygiene aisle.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 20903/01/2013

The 'Jealous Bitches?' bar and restaurant is decorated in mint green hues and contained by floor-to-ceiling plate glass.

Platinum card-holders (see restrictions below) may gain access at any time, and be assured of attentive personal service. All drinks and gourmet meals are complementary.

Our plate glass walls have for your comfort been appropriately treated, so that entitled patrons may be admired from the outside, but undisturbed by views of 'the little people.'

'Jealous Bitches?' reserves the right to refuse entry to persons not deemed hot, sassy, fabulous or adorable. The decision of our doormen is final.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21003/01/2013

[quote]All drinks and gourmet meals are complementary.

Complementary to what? I want a freebie!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21103/01/2013

[quote]I'm going to buy the following items:1)One of Bonnie Franklin Inc.'s "Hold Me, David" Snuggie blankets

Sold out our last shipment today, and we won't be getting any more.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21203/01/2013

As a special promo item, we are offering--for today only-- a FREE C-Pap machine with the purchase of any mobility scooter. Mention the words "vagina cape" and receive a FREE goddess figurine to mount between the handlebars of your scooter.

Talk to the manager on call, Gaia Moonraven, for details. She can usually be found in the Carharrt clothing aisle or over by pet supplies.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21303/01/2013

r213 Is there a picture of said vagina cape and it's wearer twirling away? This should come with purchase.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21403/01/2013

A signed DVD copy of the first season of "GIRLS" in the $2.99 bargain bin.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21503/01/2013

Here's Sara modeling and twirling in her vagina cape:

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21603/01/2013

Waaaay OT, but----OMFG r216! The external links from the vagina cape pic are HILARIOUS! If I didn't know that Mychfest was a real event, I would swear that some genius from The Onion would have thought it up!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21703/01/2013

Me too, R217. I didn't know there really was such a thing as a vagina cape!

Sacred song circles? Inspirational choirs? Water blessings? It's like a religion and the woods of Michigan is their holy land ("The Land!"), their annual pilgrimmage to Mecca.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21803/01/2013

I don't know how to link properly but there is a Midway to Michfest thread and a Michfest 2012 thread so you can read about all the wackiness.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 21903/01/2013

I don't understand. Why are all of the customers in Foundations men?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22003/01/2013

Attention DL shoppers! We are now having "Pink Light Special" in our grocery department. A 32 oz.jar Duke's Mayonnaise is only 99 cents! Hurry, while supplies last!

Don't forget to check out our daily bakery deals, where "Sissy's Pizza Bread" is the featured item for today. We also have a limited supply of freshly baked nutloaf, for only $1.29 per loaf.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22103/01/2013

What about the Red Dragon Cheese, R221?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22203/01/2013

Don't forget the Bonnie Franklin "one-size-fits-all" wigs that arrived yesterday . As a tribute to her early demise, we are offering 20% off.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22303/01/2013

Shit, I thought you were kidding r223 - but sadly I just read the news.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22403/01/2013

Excuse me miss, can you tell me which department has "No Men on the Land" and "Penised People NOT Permitted" signs?

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22503/01/2013

From OP:

1)One of Bonnie Franklin Inc.'s "Hold Me, David" Snuggie blankets

...I guess these will now be collector's items - so grab them FAST!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22603/01/2013

Attention Shoppers: QE II mugs are discounted by 15%. It might be your last time to buy them while she's alive.

The value will increase TREMENDOUSLY if she doesn't pull out of her latest health threat.

Last chance to have a piece of a potentially dead reigning monarch!

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22703/01/2013

Attention Shoppers: The "DL death pool" does NOT refer to the the bathhouse pool on the tenth floor.

For those of you affording yourself of the actual bathhouse pool, Blanche Devereaux Inc., "Everlast" condoms are availabe for sale on every floor.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22803/04/2013

[quote] "Everlast" condoms are availabe for sale on every floor.

But they only have my size in the Big'n'Tall department.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 22903/04/2013

Stop by the African Baby selection on 7. We have added six new babies straight from our spring catalog.

by Remember the slogan: Shop at DL, where every sales bottom is pre-lubedreply 23003/04/2013
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