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Should parents tell children they are ugly?

My friend's daughter is always lamenting how the cute boys in her school don't like her.

She should me their pictures. I wanted to say sweetie you need to lower your standards.

Plus she is Persian (I felt like I should explain that the little blonde boys usually like the other little blonde children)

by Anonymousreply 6602/24/2013

It is better when you are the "Uncle," OP.

by Anonymousreply 102/23/2013

Sarah Jessica, I think we have to have a little talk today before we head up to Broadway for the "Annie" rehearsal...

by Anonymousreply 202/23/2013

[quote]plus she is Persian

Who is "plus she"?

by Anonymousreply 302/23/2013

A super-sized, tubby Persian child.

by Anonymousreply 402/23/2013

Here's a simple answer, OP. Would you like someone to tell you you're ugly and you should lower your standards?

by Anonymousreply 502/23/2013

OP has blazed new trails in lowering even the standards of DL.

Astounding.

by Anonymousreply 602/23/2013

OP, Absolutely not. You should tell children that they need to develop their inner qualities and brains and heart, and find someone that would appreciate their friendship for who they are as individuals.

by Anonymousreply 702/23/2013

You need to read them the story of the ugly duckling and tell them that maybe someday far off in the future they too will become a beautiful swan.

by Anonymousreply 902/23/2013

R8, "It never works for you," or it never works for others? It sure worked for me.

by Anonymousreply 1102/23/2013

You probably wouldn't tell an ugly fat little boy that, would you?

by Anonymousreply 1202/23/2013

We're talking about Teresa Giudice's kid, aren't we.

by Anonymousreply 1302/23/2013

What? I was blond and blue eyed. I liked dark even when I was...very young.

by Anonymousreply 1402/23/2013

Tell her she's "different" with a very very personal flair.

by Anonymousreply 1502/23/2013

Tell them they are ugly, old, and must work in the family restaurant.

by Anonymousreply 1702/23/2013

Really, no swans? Many Persian women are absolutely stunning.

by Anonymousreply 1802/23/2013

[quote]Re: Should parents tell children they are ugly?

Someone should tell you are racist to "Persians" you stupid fuck.

by Anonymousreply 2102/23/2013

Have you told her about Nads yet?

by Anonymousreply 2202/23/2013

Parents often DO tell their children they're ugly, and then the children grow up insecure with massive complexes and are furious at their parents for the rest of their lives. Barbra Streisand's case is a classic example.

by Anonymousreply 2402/23/2013

DON'T DO IT!!!

by Anonymousreply 2602/23/2013

[quote]Plus she is Persian

Handlebar mustaches on prepubescents is never a hot look.

Then again, facial hair is In!

by Anonymousreply 2702/23/2013

I'm not sure it's ever anyone's job to tell another person they're ugly.

I've known a number of physically unattractive people who've gone on to live good, productive, happy lives because they were raised within a value system that valued other qualities beyond superficiality and looks.

by Anonymousreply 2802/23/2013

Life & her peers will tell her soon enough.

by Anonymousreply 2902/23/2013

Um, R8? Even though there's a good chance that it won't work in the immediate future and that they'll still go through middle and (possibly) high school crushing on people who aren't interested, it will at least plant the seeds in their mind for how to develop healthy adult relationships later in life - which, by the way, is a fuck of a lot more than telling them they're "ugly" ever will.

by Anonymousreply 3002/23/2013

you sound fat r31

by Anonymousreply 3202/23/2013

I think parents will find their children lovely no matter what.

by Anonymousreply 3302/23/2013

You don't need to tell kids that they are ugly. It's better to give them helpful advice, like that they might have fun doing something suitable like being a live-in bell ringer in a cathedral tower in Paris.

by Anonymousreply 3402/23/2013

Tell your child to avoid ugly people. Those are the people who would presume to judge them. There are no uglier people.

by Anonymousreply 3502/23/2013

This is why we kill ourselves.

by Anonymousreply 3602/23/2013

Would an uglocyde make you happy, OP? We should totally do that. Go out into the community offing babies that offend our keen sensibilities. Ugly babies are ugly.

by Anonymousreply 3702/23/2013

Maybe he meant, "Darling, no handsome blond boy will ever marry you because Mommy and Daddy are ugly."

by Anonymousreply 3802/23/2013

Tastes change. Persians are hot now, she'll probably be sought after in high school. I used to be considered "cute" (never beautiful) --5'2 with red hair and green eyes--but now all the men want tall, athletic and tan. R33 is right, though--my parents would have found me beautiful with a third eye and four stumps as limbs. It's not your place to say anything.

by Anonymousreply 3902/23/2013

Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.

by Anonymousreply 4002/23/2013

Not only should they tell them, but they should slap their faces viciously!

by Anonymousreply 4202/23/2013

"Parents often DO tell their children they're ugly, and then the children grow up insecure with massive complexes and are furious at their parents for the rest of their lives"

Ain't it the truth! No, there's never any need for a parent to tell a child they're ugly, as the rest of the world is eager to tell the child how good-looking they are, or are not.

Parents should teach children that there's more to life than looks, whether the child is hideous, or stunning.

by Anonymousreply 4302/23/2013

Don't make physical beauty an issue. Women are to damn obsessed with that shit.

by Anonymousreply 4402/23/2013

Persians are Iranian, are they not? Does OP call blacks "Negroes" and Asians "Orientals"???

How....quaint.

by Anonymousreply 4502/23/2013

Oh for God's sake, the OP is just a retarded ("should me?") troll. Look at the title of this thread: "should parents tell children they are ugly?" And then troll-tard "wanted to say sweetie you should lower your standards."

A word to the OP: sweetie, you are pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 4602/23/2013

Is ugly grounds enough for an honor killing?

by Anonymousreply 4702/23/2013

My parents always told me things like "Some day you will look different." "You will probably grow into your looks."

My cousins continually called me ugly. It was my name, except when they called me by my nickname, which was "Ugs." Yes, it was short for Ugly.

When I cried and told my mother, she said, "Stop being so sensitive, for God's sake. Don't play with them."

Well, since I had to take the bus from school to their house 3 days a week while my mother was at work, I had to play with them. I had no choice unless I locked myself in the basement.

Would it have killed my mother to ask them not to call me Ugly? Apparently, yes, because she never did. She adored her sister's male children and figured I needed to get used to tje fact that life wasn't easy. Well, I was never taken to a hair stylist, a dermatologist for my skin problems, an orthodontist for braces. In addition to acne (starting at age 9), I had ringworm on my scalp, legs and chest. My mother told me it was because I picked at my skin. It was my fault.

by Anonymousreply 4802/23/2013

R48, So sad that truly ugly parents scar their children emotionally. I hope that you were able to eventually distance yourself and develop self-confidence and talent that made you truly beautiful. I also pray that you found wonderful friends that could actually appreciate your strengths.

by Anonymousreply 5002/24/2013

OP perhaps you should learn how to spell "showed"

by Anonymousreply 5102/24/2013

R45 - Persian call themselves Persians...

And I find that Persian women are actually very beautiful in many cases (if they keep the facial hair in check).

by Anonymousreply 5202/24/2013

Wow, R48, your mother was a cunt!

I'm sorry you had to deal with such nastiness.

by Anonymousreply 5302/24/2013

R32 you think everyone's parents are cretins like yours and everyone's famliy is a freak show who are a bunch of hillbillies like yours because you feel so alone. But don't feel so bad because you are famous! And your famliy happen to be very proud of you because you are a major hit at the carnival. People pay and stand in line for hours to see what kind of hideous creature that you are who came from chemical waste. Your famliy are so proud that you're voted the most grotesque phenomena in recorded history. That means a lot to your famliy.

by Anonymousreply 5402/24/2013

Op, blonds LOVE dark, opposites attract isn't an old saying that withstood the test of time for nothing!

by Anonymousreply 5502/24/2013

Persian women tend to be quite good-looking.

But you seem to have gotten what you were looking for, troll.

by Anonymousreply 5602/24/2013

Don't worry dear, one day the perfect troll will appear and drag you to his swamp and you guys will live happily ever after.

by Anonymousreply 5702/24/2013

R48, your mom was indeed a cunt, but her telling them not to call you ugly would not have helped, in fact, it would have made it worse.

by Anonymousreply 5802/24/2013

I think it's usually best not to say anything. I have a friend who is just plain ugly. She's very nice, sweet, caring, intelligent, and empathetic, but she's just not attractive. She always used to like the best looking people in school and always aimed high. She had a strange view that she wasn't beautiful but she was attractive. As one person in college described her, she was hideous. I never contradicted her view of herself.

Eventually she "lowered" her standards and married a guy in her same range of attractiveness. Now her thing is she thinks that her husband is lucky because he married the pretty one. She does look about 10 years younger than her age, but ugly 10 years younger is still ugly. She has a solid marriage, so why mess with it?

Somewhere deep down, though, I think she knows she's not at all attractive. But for whatever reason, I think the denial she lives in helps her get through it.

by Anonymousreply 5902/24/2013

I'm not so sure being valued because of your good looks is an example of superficiality. Artists aren't made, they are born with innate talent. Einstein didn't learn to be a genius, he was born one. Is it superficial for us to laud their talents because they are a product of genetics and not education? No. Therefore being attractive is basically another talent. The trick is to not dismiss this gift and let yourself "go".

by Anonymousreply 6002/24/2013

In conclusion, the mustachioed Persian girl shouldn't be told she's attractive. One shouldn't fill her will falsities about her level of attractiveness but rather teach her to develop her other talents (if any) and to mitigate the level of ugliness she shows to the world.

Maybe she'll make a good maid.

by Anonymousreply 6102/24/2013

A girl in grad school who was constantly teased, because she was overweight and had a lisp, went on to be voted prom princess. Most professional models will tell you that they always felt awkward being the tallest and skinniest in their school. Conversely I've seen beautiful people get involved with drugs and liquor and destroy their looks.

R61, I disagree. You should remind the girl of her best physical features, and how to emphasize them with clothing or makeup. She needs to develop self-confidence and inner strength, as well as any God-given talent. Look at Celine Dion, as an example of whom many consider now beautiful if only because of her voice.

by Anonymousreply 6202/24/2013

R62, I have ever before heard of a grad school which had a prom.

Where did you go? The University of Barbizon?

by Anonymousreply 6302/24/2013

r48 likely now looks fabulous, while the male cousins are fat, balding and infantilized like most straight males in North America.

by Anonymousreply 6402/24/2013

Should they? No.

But they have, do, and will. My mom called me ugly all the time as a child. Yesterday I was told I have gorgeous skin and I'm constantly being reminded that I'm handsome. Sometimes parents are just evil for the sake of being evil.

by Anonymousreply 6502/24/2013

R13 -- Those are some fugly looking kids. I'm sure I'll have nightmares tonight.

by Anonymousreply 6602/24/2013
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