Should parents tell children they are ugly?
My friend's daughter is always lamenting how the cute boys in her school don't like her.
She should me their pictures. I wanted to say sweetie you need to lower your standards.
Plus she is Persian (I felt like I should explain that the little blonde boys usually like the other little blonde children)
|by Anonymous||reply 66||02/24/2013|
It is better when you are the "Uncle," OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||02/23/2013|
Sarah Jessica, I think we have to have a little talk today before we head up to Broadway for the "Annie" rehearsal...
|by Anonymous||reply 2||02/23/2013|
[quote]plus she is Persian
Who is "plus she"?
|by Anonymous||reply 3||02/23/2013|
A super-sized, tubby Persian child.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||02/23/2013|
Here's a simple answer, OP. Would you like someone to tell you you're ugly and you should lower your standards?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||02/23/2013|
OP has blazed new trails in lowering even the standards of DL.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||02/23/2013|
OP, Absolutely not. You should tell children that they need to develop their inner qualities and brains and heart, and find someone that would appreciate their friendship for who they are as individuals.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||02/23/2013|
You need to read them the story of the ugly duckling and tell them that maybe someday far off in the future they too will become a beautiful swan.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||02/23/2013|
R8, "It never works for you," or it never works for others? It sure worked for me.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||02/23/2013|
You probably wouldn't tell an ugly fat little boy that, would you?
|by Anonymous||reply 12||02/23/2013|
We're talking about Teresa Giudice's kid, aren't we.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||02/23/2013|
What? I was blond and blue eyed. I liked dark even when I was...very young.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||02/23/2013|
Tell her she's "different" with a very very personal flair.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||02/23/2013|
Tell them they are ugly, old, and must work in the family restaurant.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||02/23/2013|
Really, no swans? Many Persian women are absolutely stunning.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||02/23/2013|
[quote]Re: Should parents tell children they are ugly?
Someone should tell you are racist to "Persians" you stupid fuck.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||02/23/2013|
Have you told her about Nads yet?
|by Anonymous||reply 22||02/23/2013|
Parents often DO tell their children they're ugly, and then the children grow up insecure with massive complexes and are furious at their parents for the rest of their lives. Barbra Streisand's case is a classic example.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||02/23/2013|
[quote]Plus she is Persian
Handlebar mustaches on prepubescents is never a hot look.
Then again, facial hair is In!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||02/23/2013|
I'm not sure it's ever anyone's job to tell another person they're ugly.
I've known a number of physically unattractive people who've gone on to live good, productive, happy lives because they were raised within a value system that valued other qualities beyond superficiality and looks.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||02/23/2013|
Life & her peers will tell her soon enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||02/23/2013|
Um, R8? Even though there's a good chance that it won't work in the immediate future and that they'll still go through middle and (possibly) high school crushing on people who aren't interested, it will at least plant the seeds in their mind for how to develop healthy adult relationships later in life - which, by the way, is a fuck of a lot more than telling them they're "ugly" ever will.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||02/23/2013|
I think parents will find their children lovely no matter what.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||02/23/2013|
You don't need to tell kids that they are ugly. It's better to give them helpful advice, like that they might have fun doing something suitable like being a live-in bell ringer in a cathedral tower in Paris.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||02/23/2013|
Tell your child to avoid ugly people. Those are the people who would presume to judge them. There are no uglier people.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||02/23/2013|
This is why we kill ourselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||02/23/2013|
Would an uglocyde make you happy, OP? We should totally do that. Go out into the community offing babies that offend our keen sensibilities. Ugly babies are ugly.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||02/23/2013|
Maybe he meant, "Darling, no handsome blond boy will ever marry you because Mommy and Daddy are ugly."
|by Anonymous||reply 38||02/23/2013|
Tastes change. Persians are hot now, she'll probably be sought after in high school. I used to be considered "cute" (never beautiful) --5'2 with red hair and green eyes--but now all the men want tall, athletic and tan. R33 is right, though--my parents would have found me beautiful with a third eye and four stumps as limbs. It's not your place to say anything.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||02/23/2013|
Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||02/23/2013|
Not only should they tell them, but they should slap their faces viciously!
|by Anonymous||reply 42||02/23/2013|
"Parents often DO tell their children they're ugly, and then the children grow up insecure with massive complexes and are furious at their parents for the rest of their lives"
Ain't it the truth! No, there's never any need for a parent to tell a child they're ugly, as the rest of the world is eager to tell the child how good-looking they are, or are not.
Parents should teach children that there's more to life than looks, whether the child is hideous, or stunning.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||02/23/2013|
Don't make physical beauty an issue. Women are to damn obsessed with that shit.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||02/23/2013|
Persians are Iranian, are they not? Does OP call blacks "Negroes" and Asians "Orientals"???
|by Anonymous||reply 45||02/23/2013|
Oh for God's sake, the OP is just a retarded ("should me?") troll. Look at the title of this thread: "should parents tell children they are ugly?" And then troll-tard "wanted to say sweetie you should lower your standards."
A word to the OP: sweetie, you are pathetic.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||02/23/2013|
Is ugly grounds enough for an honor killing?
|by Anonymous||reply 47||02/23/2013|
My parents always told me things like "Some day you will look different." "You will probably grow into your looks."
My cousins continually called me ugly. It was my name, except when they called me by my nickname, which was "Ugs." Yes, it was short for Ugly.
When I cried and told my mother, she said, "Stop being so sensitive, for God's sake. Don't play with them."
Well, since I had to take the bus from school to their house 3 days a week while my mother was at work, I had to play with them. I had no choice unless I locked myself in the basement.
Would it have killed my mother to ask them not to call me Ugly? Apparently, yes, because she never did. She adored her sister's male children and figured I needed to get used to tje fact that life wasn't easy. Well, I was never taken to a hair stylist, a dermatologist for my skin problems, an orthodontist for braces. In addition to acne (starting at age 9), I had ringworm on my scalp, legs and chest. My mother told me it was because I picked at my skin. It was my fault.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||02/23/2013|
R48, So sad that truly ugly parents scar their children emotionally. I hope that you were able to eventually distance yourself and develop self-confidence and talent that made you truly beautiful. I also pray that you found wonderful friends that could actually appreciate your strengths.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||02/24/2013|
OP perhaps you should learn how to spell "showed"
|by Anonymous||reply 51||02/24/2013|
R45 - Persian call themselves Persians...
And I find that Persian women are actually very beautiful in many cases (if they keep the facial hair in check).
|by Anonymous||reply 52||02/24/2013|
Wow, R48, your mother was a cunt!
I'm sorry you had to deal with such nastiness.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||02/24/2013|
R32 you think everyone's parents are cretins like yours and everyone's famliy is a freak show who are a bunch of hillbillies like yours because you feel so alone. But don't feel so bad because you are famous! And your famliy happen to be very proud of you because you are a major hit at the carnival. People pay and stand in line for hours to see what kind of hideous creature that you are who came from chemical waste. Your famliy are so proud that you're voted the most grotesque phenomena in recorded history. That means a lot to your famliy.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||02/24/2013|
Op, blonds LOVE dark, opposites attract isn't an old saying that withstood the test of time for nothing!
|by Anonymous||reply 55||02/24/2013|
Persian women tend to be quite good-looking.
But you seem to have gotten what you were looking for, troll.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||02/24/2013|
Don't worry dear, one day the perfect troll will appear and drag you to his swamp and you guys will live happily ever after.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||02/24/2013|
R48, your mom was indeed a cunt, but her telling them not to call you ugly would not have helped, in fact, it would have made it worse.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||02/24/2013|
I think it's usually best not to say anything. I have a friend who is just plain ugly. She's very nice, sweet, caring, intelligent, and empathetic, but she's just not attractive. She always used to like the best looking people in school and always aimed high. She had a strange view that she wasn't beautiful but she was attractive. As one person in college described her, she was hideous. I never contradicted her view of herself.
Eventually she "lowered" her standards and married a guy in her same range of attractiveness. Now her thing is she thinks that her husband is lucky because he married the pretty one. She does look about 10 years younger than her age, but ugly 10 years younger is still ugly. She has a solid marriage, so why mess with it?
Somewhere deep down, though, I think she knows she's not at all attractive. But for whatever reason, I think the denial she lives in helps her get through it.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||02/24/2013|
I'm not so sure being valued because of your good looks is an example of superficiality. Artists aren't made, they are born with innate talent. Einstein didn't learn to be a genius, he was born one. Is it superficial for us to laud their talents because they are a product of genetics and not education? No. Therefore being attractive is basically another talent. The trick is to not dismiss this gift and let yourself "go".
|by Anonymous||reply 60||02/24/2013|
In conclusion, the mustachioed Persian girl shouldn't be told she's attractive. One shouldn't fill her will falsities about her level of attractiveness but rather teach her to develop her other talents (if any) and to mitigate the level of ugliness she shows to the world.
Maybe she'll make a good maid.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||02/24/2013|
A girl in grad school who was constantly teased, because she was overweight and had a lisp, went on to be voted prom princess. Most professional models will tell you that they always felt awkward being the tallest and skinniest in their school. Conversely I've seen beautiful people get involved with drugs and liquor and destroy their looks.
R61, I disagree. You should remind the girl of her best physical features, and how to emphasize them with clothing or makeup. She needs to develop self-confidence and inner strength, as well as any God-given talent. Look at Celine Dion, as an example of whom many consider now beautiful if only because of her voice.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||02/24/2013|
R62, I have ever before heard of a grad school which had a prom.
Where did you go? The University of Barbizon?
|by Anonymous||reply 63||02/24/2013|
r48 likely now looks fabulous, while the male cousins are fat, balding and infantilized like most straight males in North America.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||02/24/2013|
Should they? No.
But they have, do, and will. My mom called me ugly all the time as a child. Yesterday I was told I have gorgeous skin and I'm constantly being reminded that I'm handsome. Sometimes parents are just evil for the sake of being evil.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||02/24/2013|
R13 -- Those are some fugly looking kids. I'm sure I'll have nightmares tonight.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||02/24/2013|