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Datalounge Dear Abbey

Dear Confused in Connecticut: It has nothing to do with medication side effects, honey. Your husband is a fag. Next!

Dear Frustrated in Franklin: The "waiting until marriage" story is bullshit. Your boyfriend is a closet case. Next!

Dear Hopeful in Hoboken; Oh, honey. There's no such thing as a bisexual. That man is a pole-smoker. Run Away. Next!

Dear Uncle Bottom: No. it is not perfectly normal to feel that way about your nephew. Begone Incest Troll! Next!

Dear Openminded in Omaha: It only hurts the first time. Be sure to pre-lube. Next!

Dear Homosex Troll: When the man go up inside the man, the man is not "straight" even if he shouts "Aiiiyeeeeh!" Next!

Dear Verklempt in Vermont: We don't respond to elaborate scenarios, asshole. Next!

Dear Sandy in San Diego: There is simply no excuse for a caftan. Ever. Next!

Dear Boyscout in Boise: If you liked it, you are gay. But you should still call the police. Next!

Next!

by Anonymousreply 802/22/2013

Connie Marble has a column. Will wonders never cease.

by Anonymousreply 102/22/2013

Dear OP: Yes, you're trying too hard. Next!

by Anonymousreply 202/22/2013

Dear Frustrated in Fresno: Your co-worker is a selfish cunt. Just because she chose to have kids doesn't mean she should be treated any differently.

by Anonymousreply 302/22/2013

Dear Kool-Aid Lover- Don't drink the juice the GOP is serving. It's toxic!

by Anonymousreply 402/22/2013

I didn't expect to like your post, OP, but I did. I really did.

by Anonymousreply 502/22/2013

Dear Strongly-Scented in Sacramento: Your pussy stinks. Try a baking soda douche. Next!

Dear Muddled in Montpelier: Actually, "Once Around The Garden" is sexual slang for a pubic hair fetish. Do not go back to that restaurant. Next!

Dear Straight Me in Syracuse: Why are you so stupid? Next!

by Anonymousreply 602/22/2013

OP, it would have been funnier if you actually tried to sound like Dear Abbey. These just sound like the typical DL queen answers to everything. NEXT.

by Anonymousreply 702/22/2013

Is this what old folks think is funny?

by Anonymousreply 802/22/2013
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