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The Worst Thing About Being Gay

is that no one cares when you get cancer. They're done with being shocked. There are pills and treatments. There might be a "cure". But not for that gay thing. I am fighting for my fucking life.

"Oh, well, at least he didn't have the AIDS". Am hiding in the closet once again, not wanting to offend anyone. I refuse to be a victim. There are moments when the pain is so bad that I feel like I am dying and am totally at peace with it. Coming out should not have been a trauma. This is a trauma. Could use some help right about now but my family can't be burdened.

by Anonymousreply 2202/21/2013

I'm sorry for your physical and emotional pain, OP, but I don't really understand your post.

Good luck with your treatments. Cancer is one evil demon.

by Anonymousreply 102/21/2013

Honey, you're the same poster that asked about those of us that made someone gay, right?

Go away.

by Anonymousreply 202/21/2013

Too many meds, sorry i'm not making sense. Have a big family but am being helped by hospice. I'm 3 floors up. doesnt seem right. Can't be gay and sick.That woulld be tmi.

by Anonymousreply 302/21/2013

Not really getting the connection, OP. Did your family ostracize you after coming out? I'm sorry if that's the case and I know a lot of gay people have similar experiences, but it's not the same as "being gay".

The worst thing about being gay is homophobia, and how it can even become ingrained in ourselves.

by Anonymousreply 402/21/2013

The WORST thing about being gay is having EVERYONE assume that your favorite music acts are Madonna, Streisand and Judy Garland! Jeez!

by Anonymousreply 502/21/2013

I'm sorry you're going through this alone, OP. I wish you knew my family; they'd take you in and never desert you in a time of need. Not all families are gay-hating.

Have you no friends or distant relations who are good people?

by Anonymousreply 602/21/2013

I am so sorry you're suffering, OP, and I hope you will overcome this just as you have all the other struggles in your life.

by Anonymousreply 702/21/2013

I'm not sure.

by Anonymousreply 802/21/2013

Best of luck, OP. Hospice people are wonderful, so you're in good hands. People don't have to be related to you in order to care & help -- in fact, sometimes it's just the opposite (as you know).

by Anonymousreply 902/21/2013

How to spend all that extra income. Vacation home? Redecorate? 401K? Decisions, decisions...

by Anonymousreply 1002/21/2013

Thanks, r6. My family are mostly kind and very liberal. but they have limits on what is tolerable and I have already shot my wad.

by Anonymousreply 1102/21/2013

Wow OP - I hate that you are having that experience. I have been through cancer 3 times now. Honestly my partner and friends were a far better support group than my family. Look for people that care about what is important to you instead of some odd family structure that might not mean a lot to all of you. As the old saying goes, you can chose your friends, but not your family.

by Anonymousreply 1202/21/2013

OP, your family is certainly NOT kind and liberal if you having cancer is a burden on THEM.

Fucking assholes.

by Anonymousreply 1302/21/2013


by Anonymousreply 1402/21/2013

Another bad thing about being gay. An old buddy that I went to school with from 1st grade thru H.S. graduation died last year. He was gay. He died from an aneurysm. In the days after he died, people on Facebook who knew him from school were abuzz about "What happened to Tim?" At least seven different people answered, "I think it was AIDS." Tim was my friend for 40 years, he was not HIV positive and did not have AIDS. I commented this on Facebook and immediately defriended a bunch of bigoted fux.

by Anonymousreply 1502/21/2013

Now you've got my dander up, OP.

Unless you've stolen from them, shot up heroin at the Christmas dinner table, molested your siblings, or some such egregiousness, your "liberal" family should be with you in this terrible time of need. Part of being "family" is forgiving and accepting each other to a degree that even close friends mightn't do.

But every family dynamic is different, so I'll back off now. On behalf of my wonderful parents and siblings, I'm sending you good thoughts and virtual hugs.

by Anonymousreply 1602/21/2013

If only you'd found a nice girl and settled down like we told you to, you wouldn't be in this mess.

by Anonymousreply 1702/21/2013

OP, you don't do yourself a favor by keeping your anger to yourself. Talk to someone at the hospice (doctor, shrink, nurse, etc.). Look for ways to keep social contact (even when it's just quick phone calls or emails) with your friends and family members.

by Anonymousreply 1802/21/2013

Hospice care has implications of it's own. Maybe that is what they can't deal with.

by Anonymousreply 1902/21/2013

My family was mostly OK with me coming out as a gay. 30 years ago. but that's all they could handle. It really just doesn't matter anymore. I'm done.

by Anonymousreply 2002/21/2013

For me there is no worst thing. I love it.

by Anonymousreply 2102/21/2013

What is it with these people on the DL? The OP delivers a vague, odd, senseless whining about having cancer and how people treat you different because you're gay. And cancer hurts. Ouch. And he's (she's) closeted again - about the cancer? And people aren't nice. And of course THIS is the place to come complain.

So get therapy. Get counseling. Talk to your docs about depression and anxiety. Tell your family or others how you're feeling. And take appropriate action.

And for heaven's sake stop pulling your pants down here offering your sore butt to the DL world to paddle as you beg for - what? someone to tolerate your twaddle because with the number of fraus here lately someone is sure to coo and dab for you?

by Anonymousreply 2202/21/2013
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