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Tomorrow's my fantasy work husband's last day in the office.

I'm so totally despondent over this. He's tall, lean, very handsome, smart, funny. I think I've been in love/lust with him since the first time I clapped my eyes on him three years ago. I've loved him from afar for that long! If ever I have a bad morning, just the thought of seeing him, being around him, even hearing his name is incentive to get out of bed and get into the office. The man makes me so nervous, I stumble on my words when we have to talk. I've never felt this way about any other man.

Evidently, his little wifey-poo wanted him to get a job closer to home. Do not get me started on that controlling little bitch. This is not the first time he's bowed to her stupid little demands.

They're having a cake for him tomorrow. I'm seriously not sure I can make it through the party without falling apart. That's how much of a basket case I am over the situation. I suppose I'll be able to pull myself together, wipe back the tears, and pretend to be happy for him.

My only consolation is that I'll be able to keep him in mind when I take care of my honeycomb. I downloaded a shirtless pic on facebook from some beach from his honeymoon, and blew it up, and I stare at it every night when I probe my juicy fruit. Sorry to be so graphic, but I just need to get my feelings out.

Sending out much love!

by Artreply 1003/02/2013

Let us all see the shirtless photo. It will make it easier for us to decide whether you should go to work tomorrow.

by Artreply 102/21/2013

I'm sorry. R1 here, late to the party. You're an asshole, OP.

by Artreply 202/21/2013

R2 I didn't say that.

by Artreply 302/21/2013

I feel for you, OP.

by Artreply 402/21/2013

Sorry, OP, but your post made me laugh.

It sounds like Emory in "Boys In The Band" talking about Delbert Botts, his long-lost love of yesteryear.

by Artreply 502/21/2013

Has to be a very tame EST. No one else would pen such purple prose about the occupant of a nearby cubicle.

by Artreply 602/21/2013

[quote]take care of my honeycomb

[quote]probe my juicy fruit

by Artreply 702/21/2013

Pick up the cake and throw it at him, screaming "Haven't you ever had a broken heart?!".

by Artreply 802/21/2013


by Artreply 903/02/2013

OP-- I condole you. Hopefully soon you will find a real man to be your husband and take care of your honeycomb (a/k/a your juicy fruit)... you fruit tart, you !

by Artreply 1003/02/2013
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