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I was having chest pains

Yesterday morning, while I was getting ready for work, I kept having these chest pains. They weren't real severe, they would come & go, but I was getting nervous that I might be about to have a heart attack. Ended up going to the emergency room, and I checked out fine. They attributed by chest pain to anxiety & emotional stress. How embarrassing that whole ordeal was!

Later in the day I emailed my roommate with the news of the day, and how it was all just a false alarm. His response? He got mad! Because I didn't immediately call him when the ordeal began. I purposely didn't tell him because I didn't want him to worry and I knew there was absolutely nothing he could do (he doesn't drive and he was stuck at work).

Was I a jerk? Knowing someone was sitting by a phone all nervous would have caused me even more anxiety.

by Anonymousreply 3802/22/2013

It is great to have people that care about you and want to help!

by Anonymousreply 102/21/2013

I totally agree. That's why I was trying to spare him needless worry, and at the same time lower my own anxiety level.

by Anonymousreply 202/21/2013

What if it was a heart attack? You could have been at death's door and didn't think to notify him? That just shows him how important he is in your life.

by Anonymousreply 302/21/2013

He's your roommate. He's not your partner, he's not your parent. He is just someone who splits the rent.

by Anonymousreply 402/21/2013

[quote]didn't think to notify him?

I [italic]purposely[/italic] didn't notify him. First, because there was nothing he could do from work except worry. Second, the exchange would only increase my anxiety level..."When are you going to the hospital?"..."Who's going to drive you?"..."OMG! Call me the minute you know something."..."Give the doctor my phone number!"

by Anonymousreply 502/21/2013

Is he just a roommate?

by Anonymousreply 602/21/2013

We're good friends. We do a lot of stuff together...but no sex.

by Anonymousreply 702/21/2013

I agree with you, you are right, OP. His response should have been one of sympathy, not one of making it about him and trying to fight with you.

by Anonymousreply 802/21/2013

Lucky to have someone who cares. Don't lose this gem.

by Anonymousreply 902/21/2013

OP, your roommate sounds like an hysterical drama queen just like my uptight alcoholic sister who is in need of psychiatric care, but absolutely refuses to seek it. Here's my experiences since I haven't told them:

Years ago I was admitted to hospital on an emergency basis for gastroenteritis, severe dehydration, and low electrolytes after I'd managed to drive to my internist's office assuming I only had the flu.

I called my sister as soon as I was in my room and had awakened from sedation -- I was on IV fluids, Demerol, and Phenergan, and in no shape for a fight.

She proceeded to criticize me for seeking medical help and argued how I as well as my doctors were "delusional" because there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with me requiring hospitalization and hence, for her to drive 90 minutes to my apartment then visit me since I was to be in-patient for at least several days.

From then on I decided that I would not contact anyone in case of hospitalization and left instructions in my medical file for no one to be contacted unless the emergency is life-threatening.

Last year I was in for almost a week with a cardiac problem due to an unknown birth defect. Since I was on Dilaudid, I didn't give a damn being without clean underwear & pajamas and wore those cheap hospital gowns, took a taxi home, and didn't call either sister until after it was all over. Almost all drama avoided!

OP, very sorry that you had emotional stress & anxiety bad enough to cause chest pains. I know how that it is and hope it doesn't happen again. Anyone who cares about you certainly wouldn't make a fuss about not being notified that you took the best, most efficient course of action in an emergency. Some people just don't have good common sense. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 1002/21/2013

You have a JOB????

by Anonymousreply 1102/21/2013

OP, get a full physical and bloodwork done. Watch your diet, especially alcohol intake.

You're roommate's reaction was nice. He was probably feeling helpless, and wanted to help. He wasn't mad at you, he was reacting to the situation - he could have been there to hold your hand, calm you down, etc. but wasn't.

by Anonymousreply 1202/21/2013

It was probably gas OP. Never stifle farts. When you feel the need, let it bleed.

by Anonymousreply 1302/21/2013

{quote}You have a JOB????

R11, that's not nice to say to OP, or to anyone else!

by Anonymousreply 1402/21/2013

OP, but what if you were dead. He wouldn't have had a chance to say goodbye.

You are reacting like this because it turned out to be nothing, what if it was a heart attack and you notified no one. You would have died alone.

by Anonymousreply 1502/21/2013

And OP, why no sex? Is he straight? One of you ugly? Both bottoms?

He seems like boyfriend material to me. Already moved in.

by Anonymousreply 1602/21/2013

[quote]He wouldn't have had a chance to say goodbye.

Once a person is dead, saying goodbye to them is kind of pointless because they cant hear you.

[quote]You would have died alone.

In an emergency room? I dont know if that really qualifies as alone.

by Anonymousreply 1702/21/2013

R17 - As a cancer patient, I can promise you there is no place on earth more lonely than an Emergency Room if you don't have someone there that you know.

by Anonymousreply 1802/21/2013

R16, have you ever had a roommate?

Have you ever tried to have a casual sexual relationship with a roommate?

Respectfully, I seriously doubt it, or you wouldn't have asked the questions of OP that you asked.

When I had a roommate, who has fairly good as roommates go, his ex came over one day to retrieve some things when only I was there. He confided in me to very be careful because his ex had several viral STDs and was a big whore. I couldn't help but laugh (in a reserved manner) and told him thanks, but it was preposterous to think that we would ever have sex even if we were both desperate although his ex was a hung top and I'm a versatile bottom.

Gay guys aren't "fuck cattle."

by Anonymousreply 1902/21/2013

[quote]He confided in me to very be careful because his ex had several viral STDs

That's when I would have said, "Wow, thats too bad because I have always been interested in you. I even told roommate so and he said he is fine with me pursuing you. But now that I know you have all these STDs I think I will have to take a pass."

by Anonymousreply 2002/21/2013

[quote]You would have died alone.

That was the least of my worries.

by Anonymousreply 2102/21/2013

[quote]And OP, why no sex?

Because of situations exactly like this one. Relationship-wise, we are very incompatible. We just look at the world so completely differently. As roommates, we manage.

by Anonymousreply 2202/21/2013

[quote]I can promise you there is no place on earth more lonely than an Emergency Room

Oddly, I didn't feel the least bit lonely. I mostly just watched TV.

by Anonymousreply 2302/21/2013

Not what you asked, but you should probably see a cardiologist just to be sure. Get a stress test. The emergency room's function is to get you stabilizied not do a thorough workup.

My father had chest pain, the emergency room checked him out and sent him home saying he had the flu. Dropped dead a month later.

by Anonymousreply 2402/21/2013

Sorry about your loss, R24. What did he die of? (Please tell me it was the flu.)

by Anonymousreply 2502/21/2013

Op, this is the last I will say on the subject.

This is one of those times when you just have to say, "I'm sorry, and thank you for your concern, I very lucky to have you in my life." and give your roommate a hug.

Whether you are sorry or not, this is all he wanted.

by Anonymousreply 2602/21/2013

When I was 29 I started getting this tightening in my chest and it was somewhat painful.

I had always been in perfect health and rarely drank, didn't smoke and no drugs for many years (and then only pot). I had only recently stopped running so I couldn't imagine why I'd be having a heart attack.

I was under a lot of stress at work and my dad had recently had a heart attack at 59 after smoking his entire life.

I didn't want to make a fool of myself by going to the ER but I spoke with a very good friend, a nurse, and she said "always get it checked out" but it'ss probably nothing. She called a doctor (internal medicine) he used to work for and I made an appointment for that afternoon. In fact they told me to come in as soon as I could.

I went that very afternoon to his office and he very thoroughly checked me out. When he was through he very quietly asked me if I had family in the area - I freaked out and thought he was going to say I'm putting you in the hospital stat and then you'll die.

Well all I had was esophogeal (sp) spasms which the doc said mimick exactly what a heart attack would feel like in your chest. But that it was stress related and nothing to do with my heart. He gave me something to relax my - I guess - esophogus (no idea how to spell this) and I was fine.

You should always go. Of course if you don't have insurance then I understand the hesitancy. You'll go. It will be nothing. They will bill you $20,000. Then you will wish you WERE dead.

R18, deep commisserations. I guess that's why they invented the iPad. We really are all in this life aren't we?

by Anonymousreply 2702/21/2013


Heart attack. Thanks for the thoughts.

by Anonymousreply 2802/22/2013

You need to be checked out immediately OP. Possibly minor heart attack & you may need a stent.

by Anonymousreply 2902/22/2013


Exactly. Odds are you are fine, but it is the stakes not the odds that are important. It's one of those situations where it is either nothing or very serious.

Emergency rooms keep you from dying on them, which is crucial of course. They should have told you to consult your G.P.

Don't know if my dad did, probably not, had zero risk factors. It's been a long time now, and there is no way to know.

by Anonymousreply 3002/22/2013


That's pretty much alone. No time to tell people what they meant to you, no one to pass on messages of thanks, apologies, and best wishes? Ugh.

I know emergency room people are great, that's not it.

by Anonymousreply 3102/22/2013

Emergeny rooms have a motto: Treat and street. Their job is to get you stable and then have you see your primary care doc after you are discharged, You should make a follow up appointmnent with your doc asap.

As far as your roommate, maybe he was hurt that you didn't want him to be there to support you? Maybe he cares for you more than you rhink.

by Anonymousreply 3202/22/2013

Glad you're okay, OP- but you should have come to Datalounge first.

by Anonymousreply 3302/22/2013

[quote] Was I a jerk? Knowing someone was sitting by a phone all nervous would have caused me even more anxiety.

OP - The thing that you actually need to focus on is why you were having the chest pains. If it is due to stress and anxiety, then you need to address the causes.

by Anonymousreply 3402/22/2013

Is OP dead yet?

by Anonymousreply 3502/22/2013

[quote]No time to tell people what they meant to you, no one to pass on messages of thanks, apologies, and best wishes?

Must of us have a whole lifetime to do these things. Don't wait until you're in the emergency room—that's too late!

by Anonymousreply 3602/22/2013

OP: let's plan ahead for next time: can I have all your stuff?

by Anonymousreply 3702/22/2013

My suggestion is to do cardio fitness. You likely are not getting enough cardio in your day and are sitting too much.

by Anonymousreply 3802/22/2013
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