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In memory of the season being done: Let's be Downton Abbey!

I'm the lavender barnacles on the Dowager Countess's purple hat from the Edwardian era!

by Anonymousreply 5902/21/2013

I'm the blood dripping down the face of Matthew Crawley.

by Anonymousreply 102/19/2013

I'm the sheer pounds per inch generated by Lady Mary's constantly pursed lips.

by Anonymousreply 202/19/2013

I'm the lotion O'Brien has to use each night to massage the frozen grimace on Lady Grantham's simpering face.

by Anonymousreply 302/19/2013

I am Earl of Grantham's secret gay past

by Anonymousreply 402/19/2013

I'm the overflowing septic tank. ALL THEY DO IS EAT.

by Anonymousreply 502/19/2013

I'm Jimmy wondering why my dick is getting hard, when all I did was sit there trying to "be friends."

by Anonymousreply 602/19/2013

I'm Tom Branson's taint misbehaving

by Anonymousreply 702/19/2013

I'm getting tired of this thread already.

by Anonymousreply 802/19/2013

I'm the crust in the corner of Mrs. Patmore's eyes.

by Anonymousreply 902/19/2013

I'm the bar of soap that O'Brien used as a murder weapon.

by Anonymousreply 1002/19/2013

I'm the unbelievable stench emitting from r8's pussy!

by Anonymousreply 1102/19/2013

I'm Elizabeth McGovern's weird Chicago accent.

by Anonymousreply 1202/19/2013

I'm Jimmy's physical beauty that all the characters comment on but no one at home can quite see.

by Anonymousreply 1302/19/2013

I'm a big, sloppy, wet kiss to the joys of feudalism.

by Anonymousreply 1402/19/2013

I'm Lady Edith's gigantic bush.

by Anonymousreply 1502/19/2013

I'm the dreary weeds O'Brien is forced to wear 24/7, even to the Gillies' Ball at Duneagle Castle.

by Anonymousreply 1602/19/2013

I'm footman Tom's cigarette...and he's smoking me all the time.

by Anonymousreply 1702/19/2013

I'm Branson's improbably gym-worked torso.

by Anonymousreply 1802/19/2013

I'm the African American man who anally penetrated Thomas, Jimmy, Matthew, and Mary's ex fiancé.

by Anonymousreply 1902/19/2013

I'm the house. GET OUT.

by Anonymousreply 2002/20/2013

I am O'Brien's bangs. Don't fuck with me, fellas!

by Anonymousreply 2102/20/2013

I am Jimmy's warm, moist and inviting anus, involuntarily clenching and unclenching

by Anonymousreply 2202/20/2013

I'm Lady Grantham's breakfast tray.

by Anonymousreply 2302/20/2013

I'm the ten bathrooms you never see.

by Anonymousreply 2402/20/2013

I'm Bates' cane, not seen since season 2.

by Anonymousreply 2502/20/2013

I'm next season's OTT soap opera plot device. Either someone will come back from the dead or a long lost evil twin will show up.

by Anonymousreply 2602/20/2013

Dont they buy any new furniture at Downton Abbey?

by Anonymousreply 2702/20/2013

I'm the peephole Thomas has drilled into the wall between his room and Jimmy's.

by Anonymousreply 2802/20/2013

I'm the scullery maid you never see. I don't get to eat with the other servants because I smell like wet towels.

by Anonymousreply 2902/20/2013

Where do they all go to the bathroom? You never see them tinkling or dropping a duece or anything...

by Anonymousreply 3002/20/2013

[quote]Where do they all go to the bathroom? You never see them tinkling or dropping a duece or anything...

I'm Carson's self-discipline. I keep Carson from ever needing to go to the bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 3102/20/2013

I'm Lady Mary's pre-marital busted hymen. By a darkie no less!

by Anonymousreply 3202/20/2013

[quote] I'm Lady Mary's pre-marital busted hymen. By a darkie no less!

We still haven't established that Mr. Pamuk wasn't a backdoor enthusiast.

by Anonymousreply 3302/20/2013

[quote]Dont they buy any new furniture at Downton Abbey?

Old money never buys; they inherit.

by Anonymousreply 3402/20/2013

I'm yet another slutty new maid, targeting the penises of the upper classes even as I fluff their pillows.

by Anonymousreply 3502/20/2013

I am Thomas' well-eroded foreskin, thumped and torn from the torments of seeing "Jimmy" with his waistcoat off.

by Anonymousreply 3602/20/2013

I am the Cora Countess of Grantham's wobbly and precious American accent, spoken as if delivered via the lazy bubbles oozing at the top of a pot of stewed ginger plums.

Apparently I am Jewish, but you'd never know it by me.

by Anonymousreply 3702/20/2013

R33. The Turk told her not to worry because she would still be a virgin on her wedding night. I assumed that meant they would stop short of actual intercourse, just like a great many straight couples did before reliable birth control. Probably mutual masturbation and frottage. A proper lady in 1920 would not do oral or anal--not in a million years.

by Anonymousreply 3802/20/2013

I am Lady Cora's long lost half sister, played by Heather Locklear, to be introduced for a dramatic effect in Season 4. I will try to seduce Robert and be the show's resident vixen.

by Anonymousreply 3902/20/2013

I am the third victim of this season that was put to rest.

by Anonymousreply 4002/20/2013

when I didn't 'take home the gold' last summer and then found out I wouldn't be taken home period, I ran away, hooked up with an agent and got some walk-on parts on a big hit.

I love rubbing it their entitled ass faces!!!

by Anonymousreply 4102/20/2013

That would be great, R39. They have to fix Heather's face first, though.

by Anonymousreply 4202/20/2013

I'll be the Mrs Bates story arc which culminates in a weird prison stay. No one will understand the plot, character motivation or even the accents!

by Anonymousreply 4302/20/2013

I am Lady Edith's wonky eyes and big honking nose, which causes whispers in the British aristocracy about my actual paternity.

by Anonymousreply 4402/20/2013

I am Mrs. Bates the First, so inexplicably evil that Cruella DeVille was embarrassed.

by Anonymousreply 4502/20/2013

I am Lady Fingers, played by Joan Collins, who is going to take a shine to the Irish widower when he moves out in a piss with his baby and opens a pub nearby to spite the Granthams (I hope I'm not letting the cat out of the bag with his - but isn't this STUPID?).

I shall offer him my famous fish pie, which forms its own crust.

by Anonymousreply 4602/20/2013

I am the British press, which despite many allusions to their imminent interest in the catastrophic scandals at Downton, somehow seems to miss the fact that the place has become a Vortex of Disaster and an Opening to the Underworld, placing the entire environs in danger of false arrest, unrequited love, premature death - always gory, absurd misunderstanding, marriage reversals, and servants robbing and smarting off to The Family without repercussion.

Buffy and Angel will arrive in the fourth season to try to mend the rift.

by Anonymousreply 4702/20/2013

OP is divine. "Lavender barnacles" fits exactly, and we've been trying to come up with a "what would you call it" for weeks.

by Anonymousreply 4802/20/2013

I'm the simple black silk blouse that Anna wears since being promoted to Ladies Maid.

by Anonymousreply 4902/20/2013

I'm the beautiful and kind-hearted young aristocrat who brings joy to everyone she encounters. I'm engaged to the Duke of Kent, but of course I die in a freak accident (in this case, I faint after catching my fiancé in a kiss with a footman...and my neck snaps like a twig as I fall down a flight of stairs).

by Anonymousreply 5002/20/2013

I'm the slutty party girl cousin with a prisspot for a mother.

by Anonymousreply 5102/20/2013

I'm the plot. I'm a bit jumpy when I bother to show up.

by Anonymousreply 5202/20/2013

I am Lady Cora's crass American outcast Aunt Nellie, Martha Levinson's half sister. I am not upper crust and am an embarrassment to the family. I show up at Downton Abbey one day with a family secret that could bring the Crawley family to its knees. I am played by Roseanne Barr.

by Anonymousreply 5302/20/2013

I am Cora's mysterious wealthy brother who has been mentioned but never seen. I am apparently the direct ancestor of Maris Crane, Vera Peterson, and Chuckles the Clown.

by Anonymousreply 5402/20/2013

I'm Crawley House, spotlessly clean despite having no servants.

by Anonymousreply 5502/21/2013

I am Dr. Clarkson's hidden collection of various used athletic supporters from the local mens cricket team...

by Anonymousreply 5602/21/2013

I am quality writing, missing since season one.

by Anonymousreply 5702/21/2013

I am "Cousin Oliver"

by Anonymousreply 5802/21/2013

I'm the crusty tea towel under Thomas Barrow's bed. I was pilfered from the kitchen and I hold many secrets.

by Anonymousreply 5902/21/2013
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