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At what point in a woman's life, does looks not matter anymore?

At what point does personality or brains take precedence as opposed to looks? Be it in social interaction or in the mating game?

by Anonymousreply 5102/20/2013


by Anonymousreply 102/19/2013


by Anonymousreply 202/19/2013

What R1 said.

by Anonymousreply 302/19/2013


by Anonymousreply 402/19/2013

So are you all going to sit there and tell me an 80 yr old woman's looks take precedence in her life?

by Anonymousreply 502/19/2013

Right around 46.....

by Anonymousreply 602/19/2013

My 88-year-old mother refuses to be seen by a male doctor or dentist because she wears a wig.

by Anonymousreply 702/19/2013

If you were talking about men, I would say "50."

After that you might as well just commit suicide.

by Anonymousreply 802/19/2013

WHY are you so concern with this OP?

by Anonymousreply 902/19/2013

At birth

by Anonymousreply 1002/19/2013


My grandmother could never leave the house without putting her "face" on. No one really cared if she was without make-up but HER.

So, I restate at NO point in a woman's life does looks not matter anymore.`


by Anonymousreply 1102/19/2013

My mother turns 70 this year. I noticed that she stopped wearing heels about ten years ago. When I asked her about it, she said that no one looks at her anymore anyway, so she doesn't bother. It made me sad, because she was stunning in her youth. It must be a hard pill to swallow.

by Anonymousreply 1202/19/2013

R11, the question wasn't when do looks not matter anymore, it was when do they not take presidence.

by Anonymousreply 1302/19/2013

R13 read again

"At what point in a woman's life, does looks not matter anymore?"

by Anonymousreply 1402/19/2013

yeah, r13, why don't you read the title of the thread?

Reading is fundamental!

by Anonymousreply 1502/19/2013

At what point in a gay man's life, does proper punctuation not matter anymore?

by Anonymousreply 1602/19/2013

R14/15, the point is to read the WHOLE question. Op is asking when looks take a back seat to intelligence, and such. Obviously no one still lucid can say they don't care about how they look at all. This is why reading is fundamental. Read the whole question, not just the first part.

by Anonymousreply 1702/19/2013

I think it might make a difference in whether or not a woman's looks were ever her first priority. Believe it or not, some women place a higher priority on personality and/or brains from the start.

I knew I'd never be pretty and so worked harder on being interesting and having a personality than I did on trying to change my looks. Now at 60 I actually feel like I look better than ever (not counting the inevitable beauty of simple youth).

by Anonymousreply 1802/19/2013

I hope for R14/15's sake he is attractive, because if he has to fall back on intellect, he's in big trouble.

by Anonymousreply 1902/19/2013

R17 R18 My answer is still never. R18 do you own a mirror?

by Anonymousreply 2002/19/2013

I interpreted OP's question to mean, "When do other people stop judging women primarily on their looks?" And unfortunately, I have to echo all those posters saying "never."

by Anonymousreply 2102/19/2013

Thread after thread about looks and attractiveness lately. Is it really a looks-obsessed DLer or a feminist troll trying desperately to prove her point about superficiality?

OP, either way - get yourself a shrink.

by Anonymousreply 2202/19/2013

It ALWAYS matters !!!

by Anonymousreply 2302/19/2013

R17 & R 18 are two different people. If you are referring to me, R17/19, then yes, I do own one. I am stunning.

by Anonymousreply 2402/19/2013

I'm R-18 and yes I own a mirror. And I"m damn good looking. But I'm not beautiful or pretty. When I was younger it was not unusual to be looked over in search of prettier girls, but once someone talked to me and heard what I had to say and saw my attitude about stuff, found out I had some smarts, then it was not unusual for them to have a change of heart and take interest in me.

But to answer the initial question the only women I know to whom looks totally did not matter were older women with dementia.

by Anonymousreply 2502/19/2013

R25 My dear old friend's wife suffered a series of strokes. Physically she was like the old lady in Amour. She had to be carried and fed like a baby.

He wanted her to socialize with people to try to keep her mind active.

So I had lunch with them in their house. Even I could tell she was horrified to have someone see her like that. She has since passed but was about 96 at the time.

by Anonymousreply 2602/19/2013

The moment she comes out as lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 2702/19/2013

I love you, R27.

by Anonymousreply 2802/19/2013

Women over 35 should just move away. It's ridiculous what women do to hold onto youth. I couldn't care less about looks. I find them to be a bother. When you're good looking people never leave you alone. Never. I don't let it bother me though. I'm in charge of my life. It doesn't matter what other people think. I would never hand over that kind of power to anyone.

by Anonymousreply 2902/19/2013

I think most women become invisible to men around the onset of menopause or about 50. Because women spend most of their lives being looked up and down and obviously evaluated by men it's a rather startling change when they start looking through you.

by Anonymousreply 3002/19/2013

It never ends as long as you're above the ground and in decent health. If you think women aren't competing to be top dog in retirement homes across the world then you don't know any older attractive people. That is why you should never stop striving to be your personal best. Retirement communities are like high school all over again so don't even blink about getting a nose job or veneers or whatever it is you've always wanted when you hit your sixties. The reward of polishing the diamond that is you throughout your life really comes to fruition as you enter your eighties and nineties. Look forward to being the best older person you can be and stop fretting about losing your youth when you're hitting your mid decades. Your much older self will be kicking your middle aged self for not living in the moment. Seventy year self will think your fifty year self was a damned fool for falling for all the Hollywood hype. People rise to the top at different decades of their lives. Remember that a nobody in their forties can become a legend in their seventies. Some people pull it all together in their later years. Your peak may just be fifty years from now. Never lose hope and keep working on yourself. I doubt Maggie Smith thought she'd top out at her age. Today she is a beloved international star who drives rating on a TV series. She's been at it for years and she probably thought it would never get better when she was in her fifties, right?

Don't let the people (men) who have always run Hollywood contradict how elders have been cherished in societies for ages. They just wanted to make money. Don't let gay culture convince you that once you hit thirty, you're done. If we make it to old age, you'll enjoy being there with the others who have made it there as well. You're going to want to be one of the better ones so never stop working on yourself. Science is going to extend your life so you need to keep at it and consider yourself lucky to even have the age you have now. Don't waste it. Think of the millions of people who've never even made it past thirty. Don't ever stop.

by Anonymousreply 3102/19/2013

Because I'm sure we can come up with one answer that applies to all of them.

by Anonymousreply 3202/19/2013

I love R31,

thank you darling, you have made my day.

by Anonymousreply 3302/19/2013

R31 is a gem

by Anonymousreply 3402/19/2013

OP, looks always matter. I have seen women in their 90's looking like litle gems. Hair perfect, make-up flawless, dressed in lovely slacks and sweaters with a tasteful scarf and a nice broach and a bracelet.

My mother always said you had to be prepared for anything. Mother never left the houe without a bit of makeup and her hair fixed. She always dressed smart & stylish even if she was in casual wear going to the supermarket.

After she turned 65, she rarely appeared before 10:30, but she woke around 6:30. She had certain things to take care of before she appeared.

by Anonymousreply 3502/19/2013

Well, r31 just said it all. I'd say thread closed, but I bet this subject resonates with a lot of people.

My mom is 85 now and has macular degeneration and can't even see herself in the mirror. She was always particular about her appearance. Not too much make-up, not too little. She always had perfect eyebrows with just a little bit of eyebrow pencil. I noticed about twenty years ago that the pencil shade was getting darker and sometimes she'd sport four eyebrows.

But when you hit a certain age, everything hurts and comfort trumps style. And if you can't see that well, well fuck it. She can still put it together, but gone are the days of the pretty dresses, suits and fabulous shoes. Now its the jewelry, hair, Coldwater Canyon coats and sensible SAS shoes.

by Anonymousreply 3602/19/2013

Oh, 10 or 12.

by Anonymousreply 3702/19/2013

it's fun trying to look nice. if you perceive it as a big chore, or an attempt to look way younger, you're on the wrong path. just try to look hot for your age. your looks will always matter, especially to yourself.

have fun with it.

by Anonymousreply 3802/19/2013

Yes, R36, comfort definitely trumps style at a certan point, but there is definitely a way to look good and be comfortable. There is no excuse for slovenliness. And posture is another thing that keeps women looking good. Chin up, shoulders back, and walk with assurance.

by Anonymousreply 3902/19/2013

It is hard to answer. Do you mean when does it not matter according to straight male approval or other groups? Well men generally stop looking at women over 40 unless they look younger for their age.

But most women continue wearing make-up and high heels well into their late 50's. I guess I have noticed that once a women hits 60's she stops wearing heels, but that has more to do with health and the conditon of their feet.

by Anonymousreply 4002/19/2013

Depends on how she was raised or her personality.

by Anonymousreply 4102/19/2013

r39. comfort doesn't mean slovenly. Where did you come up with that one? These elder women want to be stylish, but know they can't wear the things they used to and don't want to wear something that hurts.

by Anonymousreply 4202/19/2013

Why are some gay men on DL so obsessed with women? Sheesh.

by Anonymousreply 4302/19/2013

People stopped staring at me at 37. I also stopped dyeing my hair blond then. Sometimes it hurts, but mostly it's a relief. I got enough attention in my youth. Time to move on.

by Anonymousreply 4402/19/2013

A lot of women care about looking 'nice' and stylish until death. My mother is 86 and she still wears nice slacks, pretty skirts and dresses along with a shortish (2 inches) heel. She wakes up in the morning and does her skin regime along with her make up before walking outside the house, even if it's to go a few feet outside to pick up the mail.

My mom was always into fashion but not in a vain way, she just loved the 'art' of it. My dad appreciated it and told me that she was one of the few women working long hours in a factory who walked into work with high heels, took them off and walked out of her job in heels, pencil skirt and modest make up.

I think it's cool. My mom also gets a lot of compliments on her clothes/looks when she goes to stores or visits friends.

A person's looks are enhanced by confidence and those old generation women who always kept it together in terms of their clothes/appearance tend to look attractive b/c of that easy confidence and personal care.

by Anonymousreply 4502/19/2013

When you're rich and can buy whatever you need. Including people.

by Anonymousreply 4602/19/2013

R46 That never stopped Doris Duke or Christina Onassis.

by Anonymousreply 4702/19/2013

Once they've closed the lid on the casket.

by Anonymousreply 4802/19/2013

I've seen too many women give up in their mid 50s to early 60s. They tend to have been the hot chick hippies from the late '60s. Starts w/ the dry, grey hair they stop coloring or keeping styled, and stop wearing make-up.

Then, there's my grandma in her late 80s who is Ava Gardner glamorous w/ the curled, dyed-hair, manicured nails, silk blouse, skirt and hosiery for a simple Saturday lunch out. That's how she looked when I was a kid and she's kept it up now.

by Anonymousreply 4902/19/2013

R47, read the question.

It's not when do women stop caring about their looks. The question is when do their looks not matter anymore.

I stand by my answer.

by Anonymousreply 5002/20/2013

They always matter. My grandmother was one of the most stylish women I've ever met. She was never a stunning beauty, but she always made sure she was well dressed and put together and stressed the importance of these two things to me. Why? Women aren't expected to look conventionally beautiful or hot past a certain age, but they will be judged on grooming and attire -- something they can control to a degree.

by Anonymousreply 5102/20/2013
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