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Your Experiences With Sociopaths

Joran Van Der Sloot, Bernie Madoff, Dick Cheney, Casey Anthony, Scott Peterson, the Menendez Brothers... We've seen them on T.V., but there are less famous sociopaths affecting our lives in more intimate ways. Share your personal stories here.

by Anonymousreply 11610/05/2014

I would never tell tales out of school about my dear former friend Winona. You won't hear anything from me. Zip.

by Anonymousreply 102/18/2013

How much longer will be you here, dear? Imagine my surprise to see you as I come here to make my statement...

by Anonymousreply 202/18/2013

Ex- partner, charming and manipulative. I thank god every day I got away.

by Anonymousreply 302/18/2013

4% of the population are sociopaths. There are a lot more of them running around than we realize.

And I'm starting to suspect that all CEOs are sociopaths. How could anyone with a working conscience justify making hundreds times more than his/her employees.

by Anonymousreply 402/18/2013

Married one. The worst time of my life. Leaving was just as as bad.

by Anonymousreply 502/18/2013

I think it's environmental, because many of the ones I've known have been associated with petrochemical industries or were from petrochemical areas.

by Anonymousreply 602/18/2013

Close encounter with a madman who lived in a cabin a la Ted Kaszinski. Still afraid to open packages delivered to my door.

by Anonymousreply 702/18/2013

One of my exes. Almost as bad as my ex the narcissist.

by Anonymousreply 802/18/2013

Newly hired senior (SENIOR) executive for Fortune 100 company I worked with. Arrived with great fanfare. She trashed me to everyone within earshot because I wouldn't support her delusional schemes of grandeur.

I was lucky. I had had friends. The board woke up: both to her faults and to those of her paramour (the CEO).


by Anonymousreply 902/18/2013

Why does this subject come up every few months here?

by Anonymousreply 1002/18/2013

Becaush I've had a shlow month and the fellesh have got to talk about shomething.

by Anonymousreply 1102/18/2013

r4, socialist. also, obama is a sociopath as well as Bush

by Anonymousreply 1202/18/2013

I work with a passive aggressive sociopath. He's actually the owners boyfriend. He's a complete asshole and creates havock over nonsense. I play his game quite well. He steers clear of me for the most part. If the owner ever comes down off of her prescription cloud that she is living on maybe she will get rid of him. Either that or he will clean her out, leave her with nothing, and then he will be gone. Either works for me.

by Anonymousreply 1302/18/2013

[quote]I play his game quite well. He steers clear of me for the most part


by Anonymousreply 1402/18/2013

Met a girl who seemed to be very nice. We are about the same size, and she gave me a huge amount of beautiful, barely worn clothing she had grown too big to fit. I spent hours and hours listening to her complaints of serious health issues, and then her very sad tale of woe, that sounded like a bad soap opera.

The 3rd time I saw her, I had invited her to a pool party, as she was finally well enough to go out and meet people. She made a total mess for the poor server, refused to offer a tip, and was extremely demanding. I hate people who are totally obnoxious to "the help" for no valid reason. I vowed never to speak to her again.

She latched on to some of my acquaintances, who after ignoring my initial warnings, then quickly learned the truth and started to blame me for the introduction at the party. She then latched on to a new set of people, who act as sympathetic as the rest of us first did. I guess they'll find out the truth.

I now wonder if anything she ever told me was at all true, and if the clothes were shoplifted or stolen.

by Anonymousreply 1502/18/2013

Once long ago I cruised the Unabomber looking for a hookup. He took it ill.

by Anonymousreply 1602/19/2013

I think that a majority of high achievers are sociopaths and because they are manipulative and charming they worm or backstab their way into positions of power and money without merit.

by Anonymousreply 1702/19/2013

Actually psychopaths (also called sociopaths) are only about 1% of the population, not 4% as a pp wrote.

They are often found in occupations like CEOs, corporate attorneys, law enforcement.

by Anonymousreply 1802/19/2013

I posted about this in a previous Experiences With Sociopaths thread, but I went to school with a girl who was clearly a sociopath. In 4th grade, she stabbed me with a compass (that thing with a needle tip and a pencil you use to draw perfect circles). In 5th grade, she put a deep scratch in a record I let her borrow, ruining it. I mean, not just a needle scratch, but a deep gouge, through the black vinyl.

Twenty years later, I am watching the program "A Current Affair" and there she is, on trial for murdering her boyfriend. She stabbed him to death. Her father and brother cut him up, mixed him with cement and dumped his remains into the Atlantic ocean.

by Anonymousreply 1902/19/2013

R18 psychopath and sociopath do not mean the same thing. Reading these posts, it is clear that do not understand what a sociopath is.

by Anonymousreply 2002/19/2013

It's sad that our system of society is structured in the sort of way that rewards bad behavior.

by Anonymousreply 2102/19/2013

Very funny R20. They are usually used interchangeably although I myself found a good way to distinguish between them on another thread.

by Anonymousreply 2202/19/2013

[quote]In 5th grade, she put a deep scratch in a record I let her borrow, ruining it. I mean, not just a needle scratch, but a deep gouge, through the black vinyl.

The animal!

Clearly her later murder of her boyfriend was presaged in that barbaric childhood act.

by Anonymousreply 2302/19/2013

When I did my internship in Clinical Psych in Chicago, I had an 8 year old in a behavior mod./social skills training group who fit the MacDonald triad (bedwetting, firesetting, cruelty to animals). He'd been born to a crack addicted mother and was being babysat in a crack house around the age of 5 when cooking apparatus blew up in his face (per his chart). He often wore a pressure mask over his face and the burns had healed pretty well. Nonetheless, he was so full of restrained anger, it was frightening to think what he might do with it as an adult. And he was incredibly smart. I can't recall his last name, otherwise I'd do a search now as he be in his mid-twenties. I'd want to be proven wrong, but I'm pretty sure he's killed someone by now.

by Anonymousreply 2402/19/2013

I believe it was, r23. I was not friends with this girl, especially since she stabbed me the previous year. I loaned the record to another classmate, who returned it after borrowing it for the weekend. She begged me to let her borrow it for just one night. She kept the record for three weeks and wouldn't return it. I kept asking for it back, and then finally told her she owed me money for it. She brought it in the next day with the deep scratch, and said it was like that when I lent it to her. She was lying and was challenging me to call her on it. I knew then there was something wrong with her so just let it go.

She ended up dropping out of high school, moved to Florida and worked as a stripper, and then killed that guy. Stabbed him to death. It was a highly publicized trial, in part because she came across as so cold and disconnected from it.

by Anonymousreply 2502/19/2013

I lived within 10 blocks of the apartment where Jeff Dahmer lived when he was chopping up all those bodies.

by Anonymousreply 2602/19/2013

*he'd be in his mid-twenties.

by Anonymousreply 2702/19/2013

You can't have socies without patsies. I guess that's who I loathe more. I mean, the sociopaths can't help it; it's part of them same as having green eyes or curly hair. But the dummies that roll out the red carpet for them, push aside decent people to worship them, glow and giggle at their mere presence, defend them to the death... are jerk asswipe doormats.

by Anonymousreply 2802/19/2013

R24, very disturbing. What type of angry or violent behavior did he display, specifically?

by Anonymousreply 2902/19/2013

Knew one and he gave me the nice scar across my face. I had offended his son, who was a good friend, by coming out. He waited on my back porch for almost a whole day and attacked me when I finally let my puppy out in the early AM. He also I threw pink paint on my truck, my parent's front door, and some other things I won't mention here.

by Anonymousreply 3002/19/2013

Most sociopaths aren't violent, at least the smart ones aren't. You usually don't realize you're dealing with one until the knife hilt is protruding from your back.

I've dealt with a couple of them, and although many of them are very good at cloaking their sociopathy, there is one warning sign you should heed: they literally have no shame. They will tell you a story about something reprehensible that they did, and they won't realize how revolting you're likely to find it. Or they'll freely admit to something that any normal adult would hide, even if the normal adult had done or thought it.

That should send up a red flag, especially if it happens more than once.

by Anonymousreply 3102/19/2013

Mind you this was in 1994, R29, so my memory is sketchy. He tortured a cat to death and had lit a fire that caused significant damage to a room in his foster parent's home. I was a group facilitator, but not his primary therapist so I wasn't familiar with his impulsivity levels and ongoing behavioral issues at home or school other than they existed. Our focus in sessions was on the ongoing interaction and teaching the kids to adopt more prosocial behavior to diffuse difficult situations.

In sessions, he usually kept apart from the other kids, but he knew how to menace or try to provoke without crossing a line. It could be very subtle like a quick, threatening look seen only by a few. He could throw it from across the room and it was scary-looking even to adults. Other times, his body posture and facial expressions would appear menacing and he would insert himself as far as he could into another kid's space. He'd disengage pretty quickly when directed by an adult, but he'd made his point. He wouldn't engage in any problem solving on his own like many of the other kids were able. I'm sure he was able, he just wasn't willing until an adult intervened.

A couple of times he came into session looking like he might blow up. These times we kept him in the room, but separated from the other kids and distracted. I either never heard or can't remember what led up to his poor moods those days; it was handled in individual sessions with his therapist and foster parent.

by Anonymousreply 3202/19/2013

The first hint for me is the lack of expression and humor. They're too busy sizing you up as a competitor/victim to worry about such niceties.

by Anonymousreply 3302/19/2013

Would you settle for a malignant narcissist? People are always mistaking me for a sociopath.

by Anonymousreply 3402/19/2013

There's this one girl I was friends with in middle school who I used to wonder about. She seemed to live to cause chaos. She especially loved to manipulate people into becoming angry at each other over nothing. She would always do this thing where she'd have two of her friends on a three way call with her, and have one stay silent on the line while she manipulated the other person into saying mean things about the silent friend without knowing they were on the line. She did this ALL the time, too, not just once or twice. Of course, I wised up after it happened to me a few times, but she would still try to do it to me.

She also seemed to be very good at manipulating people into dropping their (rightful) anger towards her all the time. She'd do something shitty to someone, then the next day she'd leave a certificate on their desk that she made on her computer the night before that she that was a "Best Friend Award" or something. Dumb shit like that that's laughable in retrospect, but it worked on a group of middle school kids.

The summer after sixth grade (which was the year she came to my school and we met and all this crap started), she and I went to summer camp together (I know, I should have already known better, but I was a child). She was a pain in the ass the entire time, but one incident stands out. One time, when she and I were alone in the cabin that we shared with six other campers, she went into the drawers/luggage of the other campers, pulled out their disposable cameras, and wasted all of everyone's film taking pictures of the wall while laughing sadistically about it like a total psycho (this was in '99 when those cheap disposable cameras were all the rage). Of course, the other girls discovered what had happened to all their cameras later that day and wanted to know who would do that to them and why. I was too chicken shit to say anything right away, but felt bad about it and was fed up with her shit anyway, so I informed the head counselor of the camp. Her response was to turn around and say that I was the one who did it. Even though I was the one who brought it up in the first place, she was so convincing in her insistence that it was me that it just degenerated into both of us blaming each other and squabbling. No one in charge could figure out which one of us really did it so the whole thing was pretty much dropped.

By the time 7th grade started, I finally knew enough to stay the hell away from her. Our other friends caught on soon enough and soon the whole group collectively agreed to completely stop talking to her. That was pretty much the end of my personal interactions with her, although she transferred to my high school in our junior year. She seemed to have changed somewhat by then - she was still a psycho bitch, but wasn't going about it in that same cool and collected manner that she had in middle school. She would do things like suck up to people, offer to drive them to school, then flip out on them halfway there and ditch them on the side of the road for no reason (I was still keeping my distance from her, but this is the sort of thing I heard from many other people who had no reason to lie). Anyway, suffice it to say, she alienated a lot of people at my high school too.

I always thought she was a textbook sociopath when I was younger, and I still don't know what the fucking deal was/is, but if nothing else she was definitely a product of her environment - which is something I have some sympathy for as an adult. She was an only child and her parents were a TOTAL wreck. I never personally witnessed any physical violence, but they were always screaming and swearing at each other not only when she was around, but when I and other friends of hers were right there too. A girl I knew in high school who briefly became friends with her before realizing what a psycho nut she was told me that the last time she was over at her house, she got into some kind of dispute with Psycho Friend and her mom that ended with the mom chucking scoops of ice cream at her as she walked out the door to leave.

by Anonymousreply 3502/19/2013

R28 is one of them... He has infiltrated our sanctuary.

by Anonymousreply 3602/19/2013

(cont) It was a hilarious visual image, but I believed it.

I've tried to find her via google and facebook multiple times within the past few years because I really wonder what the fuck the actual deal was with her and what happened to her, but I've had no luck whatsoever. Not that I'm an expert on these terms, but in retrospect she was probably more of a psychopath than a sociopath. It did really creep me out in middle school how much serenity and sheer glee she seemed to get from being pure evil, but by high school she seemed much more openly emotionally damaged.

(Wow, I've never had to continue a post on DL before. I really wasn't expecting to write a fucking essay. I doubt that anyone even cares about this story besides me, but oh well.)

by Anonymousreply 3702/19/2013

r35: tl; dr

by Anonymousreply 3802/19/2013

When we're younger we don't have the experience or balls to deal with these people. Even just calling them out verbally in front of others can take them down.

by Anonymousreply 3902/19/2013

Can't believe no one has mentioned it.... Gotta give ya props for throwing Dick Cheney in there. lol

by Anonymousreply 4002/19/2013

[quote]She would always do this thing where she'd have two of her friends on a three way call with her, and have one stay silent on the line while she manipulated the other person into saying mean things about the silent friend without knowing they were on the line

Was her name Regina George?

by Anonymousreply 4102/19/2013

I worked with a serial killer. He was odd at work, but not so much that it was uncomfortable. He was linked to the murder of several young men. Convicted and sentenced to life in prison- a few times over!. Probably dead by now.

I was not that much older than his oldest victim.

by Anonymousreply 4202/19/2013

My ex is a sociopath. Two years of serial cheating coupled with lavish "forgive me" gestures. Verbally abusive to me and cruel to his family and animals. Sold some of my possessions and work supplies. I had to get counseling to get away. Have had a strict no contact rule with him for months and he still conacts me 1-2 times a week. Nasty piece of work, that guy.

by Anonymousreply 4302/19/2013

R31, the head of my office is one. He did not hire me into the office, but his predecessor did. He is extremely manipulative and, as you said, I didn't know what was going on until it was too late. He completely screwed me over on promotions and I only got promoted finally, because people over his head told him he had to do it. Meanwhile I still watch him play his games with other people and they continue to get taken in. I just back off and stay out of it, because he'll wait a long time to get even if he thinks you are in his way.

by Anonymousreply 4402/19/2013

R20. = pedantic sociopath

by Anonymousreply 4502/19/2013

I think we all are. At least all of you are.

by Anonymousreply 4602/19/2013

R45, if you're going to attempt to be funny using a lazy approach like that (which was insupportable and inaccurate), at least stop placing a period after the post number and before the equal sign. It makes you look like what you are: an ignorant cunt.

I've known numerous sociopaths and three psychopaths. Some of the sociopaths have been quite sensitive about their state - they tried to find ways to imitate the behaviors they observed so they would appear normal in their dealings with people, and approached ethics as an intellectual exercise in self-control. Others were completely blase about people and others' interests, and reality, for that matter. It was when manipulation games entered the picture - they had to get what they wanted in whatever way it took - that they became scary.

The psychopaths were another story. One was married to a cousin. He ended up shooting her five times in the head (she survived, amazingly, since it was a .22 but unsurprisingly has been damaged in many ways). Another cousin killed his wife and proceeded to live in the woods, evading the sheriff and searchers. No remorse.

by Anonymousreply 4702/19/2013

I grew up in Myrtle Point, Oregon. pop.2,500 and when I was 19 one of the local cops pulled me over on a bogus infraction. I'd forgotten I had put my wallet under the seat so when I couldn't produce my license immediately he got very agitated and rough,arrested me,handcuffed me and stuck me in the back of the car. I was a good kid who showed no threat or resistance so his overreaction was really inexplicable. Anyway,he took me to the station and we got the matter cleared up..after that he was almost uncomfortably polite and solicitous...asking me if my wrists hurt from the cuffs,asking lots of friendly,personal little questions and offering to drive me home which I let him.

A week later he pulls me over AGAIN to see if I had my license with me(I did) and runs a check on it. I was a little freaked so I didn't notice until a week later that he hadn't given my license back. About a month later I was at the library and he walked in and just kind of stood by the stacks and kept looking at me. I left and that was the last time I saw him.

Flash forward a year and a half. I'm at college and I get a call from the sheriff of my hometown(who was a pretty decent guy)telling me that the deputy who had arrested me had been terminated,was under investigation and that mine was one of a number of drivers licenses belonging to young men that shared my build,hair color and general physical description that had been found in his possession and would I be willing to come home, if need be, to testify in court about my experience. I agreed. Fortunately,it wasn't necessary for me to appear which I was very glad not to have to.

by Anonymousreply 4802/19/2013

My last family reunion.

by Anonymousreply 4902/19/2013

Maybe not sociopaths but I know a number of my former bosses have been personality disordered.

by Anonymousreply 5002/19/2013

A lot of gay men are sociopaths. They were wounded spiritually as children and learned to be self-seeking, self-obsessed survivalists. As adults, they are always out for themselves.

by Anonymousreply 5102/19/2013

Don't be so quick to judge, R33. That could just be Aspergers or Schizotypy.

by Anonymousreply 5202/19/2013

One of my students is a sociopath. He truly looks like a serial killer on his identity picture (zero expression) and that is the way he looks like all the time. Most of the time when he speaks to you he is looking at some moving target behind you. Rarely if ever has looked me in the eye. Zero expression in his voice, always. And the worst of it is he's actually smart. Several teachers have come to me after they had taught the group for the first time, and asked me if this guy was ok. I used to defend him ("he's really smart, just not very engaged") but I don't anymore.

by Anonymousreply 5302/19/2013

Interesting story, R48. Was the cop attracted to you,do you think, or was it some kind of weird revenge thing?

by Anonymousreply 5402/20/2013

One of my best friends who is a Stock Broker. He was kind of chubby average looking but had a superficial charm to him especially with the old ladies. Made you think you were best friends looking out for you.

In reality, he was manipulative, though his career was the only one that mattered, anger issues at work, wiggled his way into taking others clients, befriend people only based on what they could do for him and very pretentious. Designer labels, convertible sports car brag about how much money he makes. (who dose that?)

Oh, and got into a car accident, he ran from scene and got away with it. His justification was that it would hurt his career. Never mind that it was the wrong thing to do.

Very controlling of me and my circle of friends. Something happen between him and someone else in the group so he banished us all from his life in one swoop. 10 years of friendship gone without even an second thought.

We are not friends anymore thank god.

He is going to kill someone some day because I know he thinks he can get away with it.

by Anonymousreply 5502/20/2013

Is a sociopath a woman who does acting supervisor then attempts to dominate female employee but flirts ( simpers, tosses hair) with male employees?

Or is that just a trollop?

by Anonymousreply 5602/20/2013

Sincere question to those who work with a sociopath. How do they manage to keep their jobs? You can't be the only ones who notice their behavior. Do the powers-that-be notice them and if they do not, why not? Do others of your work stature see them for who they really are?

by Anonymousreply 5702/20/2013

R57, Oftentimes the sociopath is the boss. Which is how they keep their job. Other sociopaths who play to their needs usually keep theirs. Any sane person just flees that type of working environment

by Anonymousreply 5802/20/2013

In a larger company, psychopaths/ sociopaths often keep moving up (because they're ruthlessly effective and great at shmoozing), so that they're constantly dealing with new people who don't know them yet or recognize them for what they are. More common is that these people switch companies frequently as their colleagues and superiors eventually catch on to them.

But I suspect a lot of psychopaths work in independent or transactional jobs like financial sales and real estate: there they deal with people on a one-off basis, and by the time the victims have figured out they've been fleeced, the perp has moved on.

by Anonymousreply 5902/20/2013


At the time I remember telling a friend of mine who was an acquaintance of this guy that I thought the whole thing seemed gay to me but he told me the guy was married so of COURSE it couldn't be anything like that. The licenses he had been illegally collecting, all from guys my age and physical description, seem to signify,to me at least, that he had a "type". Whether it had anything to do with sexual attraction I don't know. All I can say is that it definitely FELT gay.

I don't,however,think it was revenge related as he wasn't fired until long after I had left town.

by Anonymousreply 6002/20/2013

"wounded spiritually"

Spirits don't exist.

by Anonymousreply 6102/20/2013

R53, has he been diagnosed with anything? Perhaps he has Aspberger's.

by Anonymousreply 6202/20/2013

R14 I act as a loose canon myself. I never look him in the eye, only when I'm clearly angry. I pay little attention to him, as if he's simply unimportant, irrelevant. Of course with others, I'm sincere, professional, helpful and upbeat. He usually gets waved off by me, and I make him repeat himself as if he wasn't important enough to pay attention to. He's a complete asshole and by me he's treated as one.

by Anonymousreply 6302/20/2013

Aspergers people should be shot!!!

by Anonymousreply 6402/20/2013

Why, R64?

by Anonymousreply 6502/20/2013

You know there's not a single poster on this thread who wouldn't suck Joran van der Sloot dry and then bend over and beg him to bareback you.

by Anonymousreply 6602/20/2013

Try again R66.

I wouldn't even let him give me a handjob.

by Anonymousreply 6702/21/2013

Yeah, right.

You'd lick his shitter in a heartbeat. And given the hygienic conditions in Peruvian prisons, that's saying something.

by Anonymousreply 6802/21/2013

Oh sorry, R48/60 - by 'revenge' I meant whether it was some kind of weird payback for him to hassle a certain type of guy instead of just being a case of attraction. Like you said, he had a definite physical type and that could lend itself to an 'acting out' kind of scenario.

by Anonymousreply 6902/21/2013

Why do you say that R66? Joran is gross and looks like a neanderthal.

by Anonymousreply 7002/21/2013

Vera in cube D21

by Anonymousreply 7102/21/2013

Having been a nurse in a pediatric psych unit, I have worked with many of them. It's considered "cruel" to burden a child with that label (that is, anti-social personality disorder) so until the age of 16 they have the diagnosis of conduct disorder. The one who almost killed me had, at the age of 11, tortured and killed countless neighborhood pets, sodomized his younger sisters and gouged the eye out of a social worker. After injuring every person (patient and staff) on the unit without provocation (just because it was "fun," he said), they finally drugged him into oblivion and shipped him off to state where hopefully he will spend the rest of his days.

There are bad seeds. There are kids without compassion and you can't teach compassion (although the shrinks keep trying). The environment contributes a great deal but nature produces monsters even in loving families.

by Anonymousreply 7202/21/2013

Not everyone has your low standards and self-hate, r66.

by Anonymousreply 7302/21/2013


What will eventually happen to a person like this? Is he released when he turns 18?

by Anonymousreply 7402/21/2013

That's scary R72. How did he almost kill you and what was his family environment like?

by Anonymousreply 7502/21/2013


Some people should just be taken out to a ditch and shot.

It really would be the simplest and best for all concerned.

by Anonymousreply 7602/21/2013

I think my bfs cousin is a sociopath. Doesn't talk to his family for many and varied reasons but none of them particularly valid. Can be the most charming guy in the world as long as you serve a purpose in his world. Will borrow money from friends and then cut them off pretending they've offended him in some way so as not to have to pay the money back. Has cheated on every girlfriend he has ever had and has never shown an iota of remorse. He stole a bunch of money from an employer about 6 years ago and then skipped the country for a while where here invented himself as a resort owner. He returned last year with his new fiancé who he alternates between adoring and loathing, although she never has the faintest clue about his change of heart because to her face he is always sweet as pie, even if behind her back we suspect he's having affairs. His parents are great people as are his 3 brothers, but I believe there is something really wrong with this guy. My bf refuses to see him as a sociopath as they were great friends as kids although he acknowledges "he is not quite like the rest of us".

by Anonymousreply 7702/21/2013

[77]--Yep, definite sociopath. I've worked with several and they all had the "charm effect" going for long as you served their purpose. They were all in positions of authority and got there by using then discarding people but, since they were experts at knowing individual weaknesses when it came to bribes, got away with their behavior for years until their basic incompetence (and others' unwillingness to continue covering for them) caught up. Total chameleons who go into every personal encounter with a smirk on their faces.

by Anonymousreply 7802/21/2013

How bad can I be? I like animals and children.

by Anonymousreply 7902/21/2013

Mid-20s had a roommate who's today, I'm sure, deeply closeted.

It was the '80s and the era of AIDS and I thought this guy was just hiding and playing it safe like I was and that we could be friends, maybe more.

But he's insane. I was hardly out, but he saw in me someone who eventually would peak open that closet door and step out a bit.

He would not.

It was scary; he was one way with me and another with other people.

I got out with my life and I was lucky.

by Anonymousreply 8002/21/2013

I think my ex was possibly a sociopath. He was a pathological liar who would lie about the most mundane things. As in "how was your day?" and he'd make up some drama instead of just saying "fine". He was very charming and goodlooking and would tell stupid lies just to see if people would believe him based on his charm and shmooziness. One of his favorites was that McDonald's used penguin eggs instead of chicken eggs. He cheated on me, stole from his company and was emotionally abusive. He had no trouble "discarding" me once he met the new object of his interest.

by Anonymousreply 8102/21/2013

The author of the book, The Sociopath Next Door, estimates that 4% of Americans are sociopaths. That's higher than most other mental health experts claim.

Yet some of you seem to see sociopaths around every corner. Perhaps it's not their mental health you should be worrying about.

by Anonymousreply 8202/21/2013

R82, [sarcastic clapping.]

Sure, maybe.

Or maybe the percentage is higher.

And maybe there are degrees, too.

by Anonymousreply 8302/21/2013

Two words: Andrew Cunnan

He was a volunteer of the HIV prevention program I was the coordinator of in San Diego.

by Anonymousreply 8402/21/2013

R72, answering questions: this kid came from a middle class background with divorced but loving parents. They were aware that something was "off" from the beginning: he cried nonstop as infant, hated affection and as a toddler was dangerous to peers and pets if not monitored carefully. In kindergarten he broke the principal's nose! His parents sought help everywhere but drew the line when he raped his sisters. He spent a long time with us at the hospital because no one would take him. We rejoiced when he got a place at State. They will hopefully keep him, transferring him to an adult facility at 18 as he is unable to pretend he is normal in any way.

Psychiatry no longer recognizes the terms psychopathy and sociopathy, but the latter is intelligent and lives often very successfully in society. The former is of lower intelligence and can't feign normalcy.

He attacked me in the nurses station when I had no back-up. Broke down the door and punching, kicked and choked me. It gave me a severe concussion, broken nose, 2 broken vertebrae and I was on medical leave for 6 months. I've been back for a month and I'd hate to leave bedside nursing (I'm one of the few who really likes it) but it's agonizing to be on my feet 12 hours or more a shift. I hope it gets better.

by Anonymousreply 8502/21/2013

Sorry to hear that R85. It does sound like some people are just born bad. The constant crying as an infant seems to be an indicator as I've heard that said about other criminals. Nancy Spungen's mom said the same thing about her too.

by Anonymousreply 8602/21/2013

R72, they are not classified as having a personality disorder as a child because children don't have fully developed personalities. They are still diagnosed with conduct disorders and other types of behavioral disorders as children.

by Anonymousreply 8702/21/2013

Of course you're right in theory, R87, although I believe an antisocial personality is established very early and terms like ODD, CD, impulse control disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, etc. are often bullshit terms for "fucking asshole kid." Before my injury I wasn't so bitter, though, and fortunately I don't work with children anymore.

by Anonymousreply 8802/21/2013

"... they finally drugged him into oblivion and shipped him off to state where hopefully he will spend the rest of his days."

'til Halloween!

by Anonymousreply 8902/21/2013

I didn't think there were state institutions any longer. R72

When this kid turns 18 and continues to act out, where could they send him? Prison?

by Anonymousreply 9002/21/2013

R90, there certainly are. Our local state psych hospital is Creedmoor. Has acute, outpatient and residential facilities for kids and adults. This patient is in the children's facility and will move to the adult unit at 18.

My unit did not like to heavily medicate kids as a rule. State has no problem with it. I think that's why this kid hasn't killed anyone yet.

by Anonymousreply 9102/21/2013

im stuck on a course with about 6 or 7 of times :(

by Anonymousreply 9202/21/2013

Maybe some of these folks you guys are complaining about are jerks or A##holes and not sociopaths...

by Anonymousreply 9302/21/2013

R84, please tell us more

by Anonymousreply 9402/22/2013

kill yourself r95

by Anonymousreply 9502/22/2013

You're a fuckhead, PPSM. Die in a fire.

by Anonymousreply 9602/22/2013

R92, would this be the same course I am burdened with coordinating? Probably not... I'm just noticing higher education attracts mental cases. And perhaps more so when the courses are crap, bogus or lead to nowhere in terms of job prospects.

by Anonymousreply 9702/22/2013

That's amusing! I was just going to mention PPSM as the only sociopath I've dealt with recently, and her she is!

by Anonymousreply 9802/22/2013

So, Zak, what was Cunanan like? Did you talk to him? Could you tell he was a sociopath?

by Anonymousreply 9902/22/2013


I can corroborate the existence of state hospitals for the mentally ill. When I first graduated from college, I worked as a counselor at an assisted living facility for the mentally ill, which was very much like a boarding house and not at all like an institution. The mentally ill we had were all schizophrenics, but stable and medicated. When one of them "decompensated"--flipped out due to not taking her meds--she ended up in a state hospital, where I visited her a few times (this was for two years after I switched jobs and started my real career).

by Anonymousreply 10002/22/2013

There's a woman at my workplace who has flipped out repeatedly over the years and they are afraid to fire her. She took off for an entire year during an mental fit and got her full fucking pay for it. The one time her supervisor attempted to fire her this woman pulled out a box cutter and told the supervisor, "I'm not going any- motherfuckin'-where." And she stayed! The psycho is currently out again on paid leave with another mental fit.

I wish I were making this up. Thankfully she doesn't work on my floor and I don't have to deal with her directly.

by Anonymousreply 10102/22/2013

"Psychiatry no longer recognizes the terms psychopathy and sociopathy, but the latter is intelligent and lives often very successfully in society. The former is of lower intelligence and can't feign normalcy. "

Most sociopaths are not any more intelligent than the average person. Sociopathy has nothing to do with intelligence.

by Anonymousreply 10202/22/2013

R103 do you have a government job?

by Anonymousreply 10302/22/2013

No, R103--I work in an academic library!

by Anonymousreply 10402/23/2013

At least we know that R103 doesn't work for a major corporation. If he had, he would have witnessed the sociopath promoted.

by Anonymousreply 10502/23/2013

Society has become a constant battle where nobody is ever wrong, everybody lies, and the first one to escalate to the authorities has a big advantage. Sociopathy is becoming the norm, not the exception. And truth is, we should have seen it coming. It was already obvious in the 1970s that's where the trend was.

by Anonymousreply 10602/24/2013

Can you elaborate on that 108? What appeared in the 70's that indicated that sociopathy was becoming more prevalent?

Would you categorize Jodi Arias as a sociopath?

by Anonymousreply 10702/24/2013

Bump for more sociopath stories.

by Anonymousreply 10805/21/2013

I was a criminal defense lawyer for about 15 years and most of my clients were just people down on their luck or mentally ill/addicted who did stupid things. However, I had one client who was just barely an adult who tried to kill a friend's mother for money. He slit her throat, but she lived. As she lied on the floor, bleeding out, he fixed his hair and asked her how he looked. He was stone cold scary, but handsome with a quick smile. Came from a great family and was extremely smart with great grades. He ended up confessing after the boy who "hired" him to kill his mother (for suspending his cell phone use for a week - this boy was still a juvenile) ratted him out. I worked out a plea (3 years - ridiculous) and was telling him about it. I said - you will be asked if you "are in fact guilty" during the entry of the plea. He laughed and said, "yeah... but I must have been temporarily out of my mind... right?" and laughed. Most chilling moment I have ever had with a client. I quickly left. He is the only true psychopath criminal I have ever met... but I do know one lawyer who was sent for mandatory psych eval related to addiction and was diagnosed a psychopath. And he is one.

by Anonymousreply 10905/21/2013

The people who were mean to me in high school were all sociopaths! One girl laughed at my shoes and called me fat! I wonder how many people she's killed since then?

And my old BF--he left me and took all our cat food AND the Activia yogurt I eat for my allergies! S-O-C-I-O-P-A-T-H!!!!

by Anonymousreply 11005/21/2013

r111, Thanks for sharing that. I'll bet the hair stood up on the back of your neck. It is so sad that he didn't get life. Imagine how many lives he will damage if not out right destroy or end going forward.

God, imagine being emotionally healthy and having a child like that.

I heard of a family who adopted a child as an infant. By the time the kid was 16 the parents had to take turns sleeping; they were afraid he was going to kill them.

by Anonymousreply 11105/21/2013

Sorry I forgot about my post here, regarding Andrew.

He was definitely someone who was "on" all the time. We knew him by his assumed name. He was one of our outreach volunteers. Definitely someone who knew everyone at that time in San Diego.

I never spent any time alone with him.

Certainly was scary to find out he was a spree killer.

Was very odd to be bothered by the media who wanted to know everything we knew about him.

Like most evil, he was actually pretty boring.

by Anonymousreply 11205/21/2013

i recently ended my romantic involvement with someone. He, with the exception of a female friend who we all know is a kleptomaniac, is the only person I've ever been certain is a sociopath. Of course he fooled me, but only for a couple weeks. I was in the relationship primarily to avoid boredom, so his evil was rather interesting at first - became boring later.

anyway, he would repeatedly fixate on wanting to kill his ex-wife. He'd talk about how he wanted to choke her, but that he would get caught. He showed Nazi porn to his fifteen-year old son - I thought that was indicative of sociopathy, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, plenty of red flags from day one. On the flip side, he was cheery when he wore his mask, plenty of charm and glow, and a good lover.

spooky people. I made a clean break as I figured he'd want to kill me some day, too.

by Anonymousreply 11310/05/2014

[quote] ve had a strict no contact rule with him for months and he still conacts me 1-2 times a week. Nasty piece of work, that guy

What does he say when he contacts you?

by Anonymousreply 11410/05/2014
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