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At the Tone, the Thread Will Be....... Underwhelming

(beep)

by Anonymousreply 60106/24/2014

Anyone want to go to trivia with me at the pub tonight?

by Anonymousreply 102/18/2013

I just used Trader Joe's sunflower-seed butter rather than peanut butter on a PB&J. I do like sunflower-seed butter better than peanut butter.

by Anonymousreply 202/18/2013

So tired of everything.

by Anonymousreply 302/18/2013

Occupy Wall Street!

by Anonymousreply 402/18/2013

Leftovers for dinner again... still learning to cook for one.

by Anonymousreply 502/18/2013

Yahtzee!

by Anonymousreply 602/19/2013

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

by Anonymousreply 702/19/2013

You know that one semi-attractive male celebrity who we've all heard of, but no one really pays much attention to? He's a homo. I heard it from a friend of mine who's an insider in the business and has met him once or twice, so I know for sure.

by Anonymousreply 802/20/2013

My neighbor gets on the elevator because she believes that other people (husband? father?) in her unit can't hear her cell phone conversation.

That might be true, but everyone else in the fucking building can, because sound travels in the elevator shaft!

by Anonymousreply 902/20/2013

jejunely

by Anonymousreply 1002/20/2013

......I didn't have corn!!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1102/20/2013

In honor of Presidents' Day I smoked a bowl and drank some Nyquil and slept all day. It was bliss.

by Anonymousreply 1202/20/2013

"The printer may be out of toner."

Well, I checked and it's not.

by Anonymousreply 1302/20/2013

Damn it OP, it took me FOREVER to find this thread because I was searching 'underwhelmed' as is the tradition. And I think oddly, the link to this thread is missing from the last.

*sigh* Nevermind. Bend over so I can slap your bottom, and then we can all get on with underwhelming each other.

You know you want it.

Kisses,

by Anonymousreply 1402/20/2013

People annoy me.

by Anonymousreply 1502/20/2013

What was the number you called to hear that? 595-1212?

by Anonymousreply 1602/20/2013

I'm still nervous. Why?

by Anonymousreply 1702/20/2013

I can't stop watching "Final Destination 5" whenever it's on cable. I'm watching it now after I just watched it about 2 hours ago. A few months ago it was "Bridesmaids". I dread to think what it will be next.

by Anonymousreply 1802/20/2013

ayb, please accept my sincere apology. It didn't occur to me that using a different tense of underwhelmed in the title was verboten.

This is probably the fourth underwhelmed thread I've started. "I Want to be Underwhelmed Vol. VII" (or a Roman numeral close in proximity) and "I Vant to be Underwhelmed Forever and Ever" were the first ones I started.

"The -Underwhelming- Remains the Same or What is and Shall Ever Be" was another one I named from couple of years ago. In hindsight, someone on that thread (might've been you or Ciaran) expressed exasperation in locating that thread for the very same reason you complained about.

I gotta admit I always get a kick out of your wry posts ayb and I certainly appreciate your candor in regards to any underwhelming declaration or plight du jour you feel like mentioning. Stay angry.

by Anonymousreply 1902/21/2013

If I can just get this bit of salad out between my teeth. Suck suck suck.

I need floss.

by Anonymousreply 2002/21/2013

I made a big bowl of vanilla pudding and ate it with whipped cream and vanilla wafers.

by Anonymousreply 2102/21/2013

Ah, Tweezer..

[quote]"I Vant to be Underwhelmed Forever and Ever"

I always thought that was the funniest Underwhelmed thread title out of the bunch, so cudos to you, baby.

*kisses*

In other news, I'm on a combination of Naproxen for a wrist sprain incurred whilst lifting at the gym (MARY!) and Omeprazole to counteract the mouldy affects of that on one's stomach.

Amusingly, I have the slightly stoned side effects of being fuzzy, vague and err smiley that come with the drug. It made work quite a bit less tedious than usual, today.

So you'll be no doubt dismayed to know I'm not feeling very abrasive atm, consequently :S

by Anonymousreply 2202/21/2013

I'm nuking a Lean Cuisine.

by Anonymousreply 2302/21/2013

I can't find Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Alfredo style in many stores. I'm on a budget and all.

by Anonymousreply 2402/21/2013

I really wanted Tarragon Chicken Salad for lunch, but the deli had just run out, so I got Blackened Cajun Chicken Salad instead. It was almost as good, but not quite. But no complaints.

by Anonymousreply 2502/21/2013

I had a drink last night for the first time in a year. It was uneventful.

No, I'm not an alcoholic who relapsed. I'm just that boring.

by Anonymousreply 2702/21/2013

Aw, you made be blush ayb. Kisses to you too.

Now back to business as usual.

by Anonymousreply 2802/21/2013

I work for the telephone company!

by Anonymousreply 2902/21/2013

I think my fish whisperer stole my koi. Or the gardener.

by Anonymousreply 3002/21/2013

I dreamed I had a hemorrhoid that stretched out like a chewed-out piece of bubble gum. I got nervous and rolled it back up and pushed it back into my ass thinking, "This is going to get in the way."

by Anonymousreply 3102/21/2013

I hate my coworkers.

by Anonymousreply 3202/21/2013

[quote]"I Vant to be Underwhelmed Forever and Ever"

Greta Garbo was my inspiration for that one ayb. For some strange reason I've imagined GG as an avid DLer were she still alive.

"Oh, how I yaern toob be underwhelmed."

by Anonymousreply 3302/21/2013

I haven't had a job for three years and I'm about to lose my house.

by Anonymousreply 3402/21/2013

A few days ago my neighbor's smoke detector went haywire. He's a very young single father. He and I are the only two tenants on this particular section of a small corridor.

This building has a large number of older ladies as tenants, especially on this side. I am friendly with many of them, one in particular, and she was worried it was my apartment, so she came to my door, banging. All the old ladies were panicked.

Lets call her Ann.

Clearly it was my nextdoor neighbor's place.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

We knocked on the door and pressed the doorbell several times. We started to get worried about them. I tried the doorknob and it opened, *ANN* said go in! go in! So I did. Ann stayed in the doorway.

I'm tall, it's a 1950's building, ceilings are only 8 ft. I reached up and turned off the smoke detector. It turns out he had left a pot of boiling water on his stove top. Sometimes my smoke detector goes off if I stay in the shower too long or open my oven door when it is hot.

So I turned off the burner and moved the pot of water to a cold burner.

ANN, as we are calling her, was still standing at the door and had not entered. She saw nothing.

On the way out I noticed a small GROW OP situation in a closet. My ex, a great friend, who is a landlord, an owner of several flats, thinks I should report it as a fire hazard.

And the neighbor, we'll call him *carlos*, showed up about 5 minutes later. Ann gave him shit about scaring everyone, all the old ladies. She played bad cop, I played good cop. Said sometimes steam from my shower sets it off. I never told Ann what I saw.

I don't know if I can report it. I don't want to.

by Anonymousreply 3502/21/2013

I didn't understand what R35 was about. Grow OP?

Sorry, can you clarify?

by Anonymousreply 3602/21/2013

He's growing weed in the walk in closet. The big sliding doors were replaced with a thick drape of plastic, there were bright lights, a heater.

he's trying so hard to support his kid, I don't feel right telling anyone.

by Anonymousreply 3702/21/2013

The UPS drivers tear through our neighborhood at breakneck speed. I get that our street is near the end of the day, but Christ, they're going to kill someone.

by Anonymousreply 3802/21/2013

Why is it so hard to find lima beans in my local stores?

by Anonymousreply 3902/21/2013

Wow, my farts have been extra stinky lately.

by Anonymousreply 4002/22/2013

My best friend is terribly, terribly depressed. I'm scared to death he's going to kill himself.

by Anonymousreply 4102/23/2013

My blanchemange is runny.

by Anonymousreply 4202/23/2013

I love to randomly shout the word "YEAST!" to piss people off.

by Anonymousreply 4302/23/2013

[quote]he's trying so hard to support his kid, I don't feel right telling anyone.

I certainly wouldn't rat him out, but I'd tell him to be careful of the fire hazard and take some extra precautions.

by Anonymousreply 4402/23/2013

I knew Stockard Channing in the 40's. She was 50.

by Anonymousreply 4502/23/2013

Whenever I'm asleep and have to pee, I have the most lurid piss dreams.

by Anonymousreply 4602/24/2013

I am trying to be kind to a friend who is ill but boy is conversation heavy going.

I need to go on a diet.

My boss is brilliant and makes me feel inferior although not deliberately.

by Anonymousreply 4702/24/2013

Those initial side effects were obviously temporary. I've had nothing like that since.

But I have noticed I now only need one beer to get a buzz going.

by Anonymousreply 4802/24/2013

[quote]Whenever I'm asleep and have to pee, I have the most lurid piss dreams.

Did you ever dream you're standing in front of the loo (or sitting on it, if you are so inclined) and start to wee?

by Anonymousreply 4902/24/2013

I have eight pairs of northern cardinals at my feeder as we type.

by Anonymousreply 5002/24/2013

Jennifer Lawrence is going to win an Oscar tonight

by Anonymousreply 5102/24/2013

[quote] He's growing weed in the walk in closet. The big sliding doors were replaced with a thick drape of

The landlord may notice the uptick in electrical use.

I don't know about apartments, but utility companies notify police if a house seems to be using too much electricity.

by Anonymousreply 5202/24/2013

There's a small hair on my nose that I can see - on my nose - but cannot see in a mirror to see where it is to remove it.

Quelle frustrating!

by Anonymousreply 5302/24/2013

Somebody asked me if I got a haircut and I said, "No, I got 'em all cut!"

by Anonymousreply 5402/25/2013

I'm moving in with family and none of them smoke. I have to give up my pipe.

by Anonymousreply 5502/25/2013

R53 getcha self an electric nose-hair trimmer, Blanche! They don't cost very much. Even I have to do that every couple of months.

R55, that's grim. Can't you just smoke your pipe outside? If they know you smoke a pipe it seems a bit much to expect you to totally give it up, even if they are doing you a favour *waits for antis heads to explode*. But seriously, it's not like it's crack.

Well, I'm done dispensing advice now. My underwhelming update is I got a wrist support from Boots because I wasn't really refraining from using it. Now I have a constant reminder not to, and also the support to encourage healing.

by Anonymousreply 5602/26/2013

R56 I have one of those and I trim fine everywhere else - this one...it's too small for me to see in a mirror, but I see it when I am looking through my glasses.

Probably just need to get one of those magnifying makeup/shaving mirrors.

by Anonymousreply 5702/26/2013

You may have heard of this. It's a show called "The Fuccons" from Japan (also known as "Oh Mikey!") and features the adventures of an American family who move there.

Oh, and they're all mannequins.

by Anonymousreply 5802/28/2013

I would turn in any neighbor who was growing and selling pot! There are millions of other ways to support children other than being a low-rent, shady criminal. Trust me, even if he didn't have that kid, he'd still be doing it. Don't you people have any standards, or are you all obsessed with the teeny tiny virtue of "not sounding judgmental"!?

by Anonymousreply 5902/28/2013

R59, what a Good German you are!

Not to mention ignorant. We're not talking about a crack den here. Hardly worth absolutely ruining the lives of two people (especially the child) over selling a bit of weed. It's not even a big operation.

Over the years I've known plenty of professional, affluent people who also smoked dope. Reefer Madness is not a documentary.

You sir, are evil.

And yes, I'm going to sign this with my nick.

by Anonymousreply 6003/01/2013

I didn't know Kathy Najimy and Ellen Degeneres performed Immer auf die Kleinen in 1999.

by Anonymousreply 6103/03/2013

The cute weather guy on NBC NY keeps pronouncing Bangor, ME as banger. It is not a sausage, sweetie.

by Anonymousreply 6203/04/2013

Worked my ass off and spent most of my free time learning and studying. I became very well respected at work. New business manager and it's like a series of floors sliding under my feet.

Really, I think I was better off when I did manual work, I kept fit and didn't have this mental drain. It was crap, but this is worse.

by Anonymousreply 6303/04/2013

Judge Judy will be on shortly.

by Anonymousreply 6403/04/2013

I have that flushed feeling again when I think I have a fever but I never do. I wonder if I'm allergic to something.

by Anonymousreply 6503/04/2013

I forgot Colin Farrell was on Bally K. He is so handsome.

by Anonymousreply 6603/05/2013

I like Chicago. I didn't think I would, "Windy City" and all.

I learned so much about architecture on the "Architectural Boat Tour:" the one by the Architecture Society, not the touristy one.

I'm sorry I haven't read the previous posts, so forgive me if this has already been said.

by Anonymousreply 6703/05/2013

R67 I agree

by Anonymousreply 6803/05/2013

I sometimes wonder if life would be different if I had green eyes instead of blue.

by Anonymousreply 6903/05/2013

I have to pee but I'm too lazy to get up.

by Anonymousreply 7003/05/2013

Colin Farrell was surprisingly good in "A Home At The End Of The World". The whole film is into itself, but it still works. I liked it.

by Anonymousreply 7103/11/2013

My favorite binder at work is getting so frayed that I know I'll have to get a new one, but I don't trust the office manager to order the right one.

Off to Staples this weekend!

by Anonymousreply 7203/11/2013

OMG I'm studying with the tv on in the background. I almost choked when an advert came on and the guy kept saying bareback and body, bareback and body, bareback and body. I must have heard it three times before I realised he was saying Bayer Back and Body. I think they need to re-think the name.

by Anonymousreply 7303/12/2013

[27] is the best.

by Anonymousreply 7403/12/2013

I'm listening to Toad the Wet Sprocket songs on YT. Something's Always Wrong is on at the moment.

I went to Walgreen's for meds and liquid tears this past Mon. evening. I also called my mom and talked for a half hour in the car. I had Fluffy my ten year old Cocker with me. Then I went to ABC Liquors and bought a 1.75 of Ronrico dark rum.

I needed razors but they were too expensive at Wag's so I ran over to Big Lots. They only had generic brands so I trucked on over to the Walmart on 19 in Pinellas Park.

While there, I went over to Pet Supply and picked up 3 bags of "wholesome holistic" Healthy Dog Biscuits since they can often be hard to come by. When I found razors I noticed much to my surprise on a shelf opposite the razors they had Tussy roll-on deodorant so I bought one (.97¢). The label said original scent but they lie.

It doesn't smell like cloves. It doesn't even smell like the many years later on scent they changed it to the last time I purchased some. Smells awful, like a B.O. and rancid imposter fragrance combo. Terrible.

I stopped off at the XTC for a bottle of poppers then I topped off my tank at the gas station across the street from my abode before arriving home at 9 pm. I should've put air in my tires but I didn't feel like it. Lily Tomlin was on Joy Behar when I walked in the door so I was happy to catch that.

Now it's time to put a drop of damned (scary) Prednisone in my eye now for a double stye that I've had for 4 months. At least it doesn't look like a stye at this point but it hasn't healed. It looks like I have mauve eye shadow on my left lid and have dry eye besides. It's worrisome. Monday I return to the ophthalmologist for yet another appointment.

P.S. I'm so tired of doing all the warm compresses with tea bags too. My fingertips are dry and cracked from wringing out tea bags dipped in hot water.

by Anonymousreply 7503/12/2013

He did it to me again. We go to bed around 11:30 and, lately, my partner has been taking a 20 ounce glass of water or juice to drink while we're watching tv. Inevitably, he wakes up around 5:00 or 6:00 to pee. He barely wakes up and goes right back to sleep but I end up being awake until the alarm goes off.

I've asked him not to do it because it is so frustrating lying around for two or three hours. I work from home and I end up wanting to take a nap in the afternoon, which I hate to do because it is so unproductive and I feel like shite when I wake up. He says I should just take a nap and be happy that I can.

He's in his 20s so it's not his prostate acting up - it's that damned big glass of water. I swear I'm going to dump it on his head if he does it one more time.

by Anonymousreply 7603/15/2013

My SAD is finally lifting. Life is good again.

by Anonymousreply 7703/15/2013

I was just told (kindly) that I have a silly accent and can't say the word "bond" correctly. So have been in a room by myself trying to get rid of the "w" sound I put in "bond" AND I CANNOT MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!

by Anonymousreply 7803/15/2013

[quote]I was just told (kindly) that I have a silly accent and can't say the word "bond" correctly. So have been in a room by myself trying to get rid of the "w" sound I put in "bond" AND I CANNOT MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!

How are you saying it-- "Baw-nd"?

Can you say "ah" instead of "aw"? When you say, "Ah, that feels good," does it sound different from "Aw, that's so cute!"?

Can you say, "Bah, humbug," or does it come out as "Baw"?

by Anonymousreply 7903/17/2013

The whole world is happily eating corned beef and cabbage together. Looks like I'll be having a pizza instead. All alone again. Sigh.

by Anonymousreply 8003/17/2013

SO EXCITED about the new Daft Punk album coming out this year. Supposedly. Though all the billboards are mysteriously being taken down after a day or so. SO EXCITED.

by Anonymousreply 8103/18/2013

I'm back to wanting a dog again. A dog. A dog. I think I want a dog.

by Anonymousreply 8203/23/2013

Close my eyes, or keep them open?

by Anonymousreply 8303/23/2013

I just caught the last 10 minutes of Diff'rent Strokes. I've only seen that programme once or twice but it caught my interest because it was about paedophelia. I was surprised to see them discuss the fact that paedophiles are not gay.

by Anonymousreply 8403/24/2013

I'm phoning in my prescription refills. I'd rather be watching a movie or doing a crossword.

by Anonymousreply 8503/26/2013

I think the People's Choice award is the most important award because it comes from the people.

by Anonymousreply 8603/26/2013

Should I use a #2 or a #3 drill bit on this gloryhole?

by Anonymousreply 8703/26/2013

CHOINK CHOINK CHOINK. Pass the biscuits.

by Anonymousreply 8803/26/2013

I have re-discovered the magically delicious nature of steamed brussel sprouts, halved, buttered, and sprinkled with Toney's Rosemary/Garlic seasoning.

I'm losing weight, but my breath is bad and my piss smells like swamp cactus.

by Anonymousreply 8903/27/2013

If the world ends in nuclear Armegeddon, I can always eat my semen. It tastes like lumpy Risotto.

by Anonymousreply 9003/27/2013

New page. Endless Winter in the UK, no end in sight apparently.

Very odd.

Here's some Beefheart.

Even odder.

by Anonymousreply 9103/28/2013

I keep looking up places I want to go on Trip Advisor and reading only the bad reviews to make me feel not so bad that I'm not on vacation.

by Anonymousreply 9203/28/2013

I just found out that daffodils, tulips, narcissus, aloes and jade plants are all toxic to cats and dogs. I have large jade and aloe plants in my house and daffodils, narcissus and tulips all over my yard. I've been thinking about adopting a couple of dogs, but clearly I'm going to have to choose between plants and animals.

by Anonymousreply 9303/28/2013

I have a stupid-as-fuck coworker that I'd like to throw my stapler at HARD... How do some people get hired??!

by Anonymousreply 9403/28/2013

I am on a conference call with our board and am paying absolutely no attention.

by Anonymousreply 9503/28/2013

*sings* Love is like a butterfly...

by Anonymousreply 9603/28/2013

I hate when somebody hangs up the phone on me. How old are you, douchebag?

by Anonymousreply 9703/28/2013

My shitty day at work was nullified by the delightful news that KU lost. In fucking overtime.

I hate KU.

by Anonymousreply 9803/30/2013

I think it's about time we changed the website slogan to

[quote][bold]DataLounge[/bold] get your fix of gay gossip, news, pointless bitchery and Joan Crawford.

by Anonymousreply 9904/03/2013

Went to two different 7-11 ATMs I'd used before to try withdrawing $300. Four times I got a slip saying "unable to complete". Then I went to a Chase Bank ATM and it worked. No idea why.

by Anonymousreply 10004/03/2013

So, I guess I'll be homeless before too long. I've worked to support myself for over thirty years, but this society has no respect for someone who has tons of experience but has reached a certain age. It sucks to get old and be totally alone in the world.

by Anonymousreply 10104/03/2013

I wish I could do something to help, R101. :( I wish you luck.

by Anonymousreply 10204/06/2013

I was in your position tens years ago, r101, but I was lucky enough to have family to take me in. I was very lucky. I'm just now turning my life around. I wish you the best.

by Anonymousreply 10304/06/2013

I did not know that the turnips I've been eating all my life are actually rutabagas.

I love mashed turnip so much that I often mix them with all my other vegetables.

by Anonymousreply 10404/10/2013

Thanks, R102 and R103. Unfortunately, I have no family and very few friends, and no friends that can take me in. I will be on the street soon. Life sucks, and then you die - but now soon enough.

by Anonymousreply 10504/10/2013

I had a super value pak mega anxiety dream this morning in which several themes from my most frequent anxiety dreams were woven throughout. One element that was new was that I ran into Elaine Stritch, who was feeling sad about getting old. "I feel exactly the same way. We'll get through this together," I told her, and we both cried.

by Anonymousreply 10604/11/2013

I've just seen "Harriet Craig" on Youtube. Don't you think that her costumes/hair detracts from the film? It would have been so much more effective to have her as a manipulative bitch if she'd had a softer look. It's all so signposted it makes you think her husband is mentally defective.

It's funny, but the more I see of Joan's 50s output the more I think that actually "Female On The Beach" and "Johnny Guitar" were actually much better than their campy nature would have you believe. "Torch Song" is still laughable crap though.

by Anonymousreply 10704/14/2013

I decided to plant some Irish moss in a small area that has been used as a chipmunk tunnel in the past (arrival of new cat has shut down chipmunk population). I thought, "I hope rats haven't taken over the tunnel system."

As I was digging I could feel the dirt below my hand was crumblVera's if it was over a hollow area. I saw a small rock in the corner of the hole I was digging. I tried to loosen the rock with my finger, but it sort of disappeared. I dug around the area and all of a sudden, within a nanosecond, this huge THING materialized out of the rock hole, flipped over, exposed a white underbelly and was 4x the size of the "rock." I screamed like a little girl.

It was just do unexpected! Was it a rat? Ewww!

It turned out to be a very large toad. I'd excavated its winter hibernation site. Poor old guy. He was sleepy and maybe a little injured fom my trying to scrape the "rock" out of the dirt (I think the "rock" was his knee.) I picked him up; he sat still for a few seconds and hopped down. I put him back in his hole, but he hopped behind and under a bush. I left him there, hoping he can dig himself a new hole.

The way it came out of the hole was like magic -- like a liquid being squeezed out of a bottle. Like if you squeezed a ketchup bottle and a toad just suddenly ploppec out of that tiny little bottle tip.

by Anonymousreply 10804/17/2013

That's funny r108. Hope your cat doesn't get Mr Toad.

I heard Kelly Clarkson's new song, People Like Us, while driving to work this morning and it made me cry. I am just so damn mad at this country and what's happening, and this song captured exactly what I am feeling.

Speaking of mad, how many years has it been since M&M's replaced tan with blue? I am just not feeling the blue M&Ms and wish they'd stop putting them in with the others.

by Anonymousreply 10904/18/2013

I remember the tan M&M's, R109. They were my favorites.

I just found out tonight that someone I knew as a teenager is now a producer on 60 Minutes. Not sure how I feel about that. Kudos to him, in some ways, but the show is pretty obnoxious.

by Anonymousreply 11004/21/2013

I hate panic attacks. Oh well.

Now I'm going to watch some cheesy scifi on Netflix and practice my deep breathing.

by Anonymousreply 11104/27/2013

Everyone brew the coffee and gather 'round. CBS Sunday Morning starts in thirty minutes.

by Anonymousreply 11204/28/2013

You should have typed that a bit louder, R112. I almost didn't wake up and it looks like a good show this week.

by Anonymousreply 11304/28/2013

I'm enjoying it, r113, especially the piece about printing human tissue. Amazing.

by Anonymousreply 11404/28/2013

Ever get the feeling the Republican party is run by Carrie's mother?

by Anonymousreply 11504/28/2013

Well, I finally got a job. The pay is exactly half of my salary at my last full time job, but it is enough to pay the rent and see a movie now and again. The perks are pretty good, though, including free lunch - today I got a salad that was so big, I'm eating the rest of it now for supper - and free health insurance after three months.

by Anonymousreply 11604/30/2013

My town put a"sustainability element" in the town's Comprehensive Plan and all the nuts came tumbling out of the tree at a town board meeting, claiming that the plan was tied to a United Nations initiative and an international nonprofit organization that might somehow start dictating laws to the town if the plan is approved.

"The group, some two dozen people, suggested that the town’s sustainability plan was linked in some way to a 20-year-old U.N. initiative known as Agenda 21, and the broad array of sustainable programs it suggested the world’s nations adopt."

“By approving this program you are losing your right to legislate,” said. "I am a proponent of Home Rule" we're some of the comments by this group of "concerned citizens," aka wing nuts with nothing better o do than sit around listening to Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.

by Anonymousreply 11704/30/2013

I stood on the corner of W10th and Greenwich (Manhattan) talking to a friend. We were passed by Jessica Lange, her younger daughter and son in tow, and then ten minutes later Edie Falco (a brunette now) hurriedly walked by and hailed a cab on Hudson. Lange had sunglasses, but was still very recognizable. Taller than I expected. Falco is fucking tiny. She didn't wear sunglasses and seemed very genuine and unconcerned about being recognized. My friend and I chatted for another ten minutes after this.

by Anonymousreply 11804/30/2013

I made a big bowl of guacamole for a work function tomorrow and mistakenly added a palmful of ginger powder instead of garlic powder. Damn it! It actually tastes OK, but it's not guac.

by Anonymousreply 11904/30/2013

I'm going to be so fucking tired when I get in tonight.

by Anonymousreply 12005/01/2013

I had a really disturbing dream of mushroom clouds last night that ruined my day. I was in Manhattan and saw a mushroom cloud to the west. I put my head down and wondered when I would go blind and when the shock wave would hit. I wondered if I would die from the blast or if I would die in an ensuing firestorm. When I didn't die immediately, I wondered when I would get nauseous from radiation poisoning. I felt embarrassed that I would die in a pool of vomit and diarrhea.

When I didn't die after a few minutes and didn't find myself blinded, I looked up. Everyone around me was also still alive. We then saw a mushroom cloud to the north. Then another. And another. But we didn't feel the ground shake or get blinded. I said, "We should get out if here," and a guy said, "We should go upwards. Come to my grandfather's place. It's in the palisades and the air will be cleaner there. And we'll be safer from tsunamis." A bunch of us left and we arrived at his grandfather's apartment in the blink of an eye. It looked like an apartment in Russia. I saw a tram pull up outside and thought, "Trams in NJ?" Then I remembered -- oh yeah, this is the future, I forgot. In the future, trams will be more prevalent

"There's no more tv or radio, and no more electricity. Running water will run out soon," said the guy who brought us there. And I thought, "Oh shit. I'll never see anyone I know again. And now wars will start over food and water and warm clothing. Why couldn't I have died when the first bomb exploded?" We looked out the windows and saw at least 20 mushroom clouds in all directions. Then I saw tornados and said, "Those will be heading our way soon. And tsunamis. And nuclear winter." I couldn't imagine why it was still sunny outside. I was filled with dread about what the future would bring in this new world.

by Anonymousreply 12105/04/2013

Got a new toy for my dog today, which he's already mostly destroyed. Doing laundry and dishes. Will soon pour at least one glass of wine and continue listening to the audiobook of Confederacy of Dunces.

by Anonymousreply 12205/04/2013

I opened a bottle of Trader Joes Zinfindel (the $5 one- not the $3 one) Its usually very good but this bottle tastes overly acidic. I might just use this bottle for cooking and open the Gnarly Head Red.

by Anonymousreply 12305/04/2013

I'm so glad that Zach Galafanakis told us not to get our hopes up during his SNL monologue.

by Anonymousreply 12405/04/2013

I went to a Kentucky Derby party yesterday, and I met the hot daddy from my gym who I've been crushing on the last couple of years.

I knew some things about him previously just by listening to him talk to his buddies at the gym. And we knew each other's names and would say hello to each other.

But last night, we didn't know many other people at the party - he went because his wife wanted to, and I went because I was bored. So we spent a couple of hours really getting to know each other. He really is everything I look for in a partner... except straight, and happily married. But he's funny, interesting, smart, considerate, handsome. Plus he smells great, has really nice teeth, looks great naked in the locker room, and isn't concerned that his black hair is starting to grey.

I could probably start a great friendship with him at this point, which might be the dumbest thing I could do since I'm so lovestruck.

by Anonymousreply 12505/05/2013

I got a phone call very early this Sunday morning from someone with a very heavy foreign accent telling me that someone in Brooklyn tried to use my visa credit card yesterday for $807. I did not use my Visa card in Brooklyn yesterday. I was suspicious that this was a scam.

Long story short, I called the number on the back of my Visa card and a guy with a heavy foreign accent answered. He referred me to fraud, where another heavily-accented guy verified this.

So my Visa card company apparently uses a call center in India where they have a type of Indian accent that I am not used to. At any rate, I'm glad I checked it out before giving away info about my identity.

by Anonymousreply 12605/05/2013

Yesterday, I ended my anxiety ridden day with Xanax.

This morning, I had some strong cappuccino and I feel euphoric and joyful.

Down. Up. Down. Up.

by Anonymousreply 12705/05/2013

Is there any way to get rid of grey doves in the city?

There is a single male Coooooo-ing like crazy every darn day outside my window.

by Anonymousreply 12805/05/2013

Happy Mother's Day.

by Anonymousreply 12905/12/2013

*sniff*

*cough*

:(

by Anonymousreply 13005/13/2013

What IS that smell!?

by Anonymousreply 13105/13/2013

I have discovered the joy of Lexapro + Lyrica. Life is good.

by Anonymousreply 13205/13/2013

I really think Antique Roadshow is fucking with our minds. They always show some horrible painting that looks like it came from a hotel art sale by an artist no one has ever heard from before and claim it's worth a half million dollars.

by Anonymousreply 13305/13/2013

I can hear myself breathing.

by Anonymousreply 13405/14/2013

My increased activity at DL correlates with my job sending me to remote locations for weeks at a time, with absolutely nothing to do 99% of the time.

by Anonymousreply 13505/14/2013

Jesus christ. I just clicked on a silly joke link to a news website featuring a music video ... I scrolled down and one of the linked stories at the bottom was about a woman, disfigured by having acid thrown in her face, begging to die. With a horrifying photo. I was just looking to see Daft Punk mixed with screaming goats, not a graphic image that will haunt me for days.

by Anonymousreply 13605/16/2013

Buuud!

by Anonymousreply 13705/17/2013

OK, so everyone needs to go watch "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil" on Netflix streaming.

I'm so glad I have insomnia tonight!

by Anonymousreply 13805/17/2013

"Try rehabbing a painted lady," they said. "They're so elegant,"they said.

It's taken taken me two weeks to scrape and sand 1/8th of the house. Now I have to replace odd widths of trim and fuck with caulk.

I loathe caulk.

by Anonymousreply 13905/17/2013

The white pines (which are supposed to be green) which were turned orange by Hurricane Sandy are shedding ALL of their needles. All of them. It seems like there are 20 metric tons of orange pine needles in my yard and garden beds. I rake and rake and there's more the next day.

So the trees are half-naked with a few tiny green buds. It looks so awful. I hate white pines. They were planted by the builders and it's too expensive to get them cut down, since I live in a vacation paradise for the 1%, where everything is 4x what it costs somewhere else.

by Anonymousreply 14005/17/2013

Why has my local PBS station picked up the horrible show "The Cafe"? It's sooo awful. An entire episode of some guy singing pop songs in a shop as a motley assortment of people dance around. I assume it is supposed to be heartwarming, but it's just bafflingly annoying.

by Anonymousreply 14105/17/2013

I love "The Café" R141. That episode was lovely. It is a serial so you won't get much from one episode.

by Anonymousreply 14205/17/2013

God, folk rock is so gross. I'm looking at you Lumineers.

by Anonymousreply 14305/18/2013

I just watched the new Star Trek. On the way home, I picked up some cookies & cream frozen yogurt with crushed Oreo, caramel and chocolate sauce. I'm in a semi-coma on my bed with my dog cuddled up to me. I've got my viola next to me, occasionally plucking it a bit.

by Anonymousreply 14405/18/2013

I wish Steve Zahn were my boyfriend. I wish, I wish.

by Anonymousreply 14505/19/2013

I had a late lunch (really, my first meal of the day at 4pm... I've been really lazy today), but it was so big that here it is, ten hours later, and I'm still so uncomfortably full that I can't sleep.

by Anonymousreply 14605/19/2013

My da is going to stay with me for a few days until they get the train mess straightened out. He's taking me and my sister out to dinner tonight and bringing lots of goodies from mam.

by Anonymousreply 14705/19/2013

I posted an ad on craigslist to sublet my apartment at about 7:15 this morning and it's already buried on the 2nd page and I've gotten no responses. Should I delete it and repost it? What would be the best time of day to post it? Should I post it somewhere else?

by Anonymousreply 14805/20/2013

Can't sleep. Watching Korean disaster and monster movies. Awesome. Someone bring some popcorn and a Coke Zero. Pretty please?

by Anonymousreply 14905/21/2013

Woke up half an hour ago. I'm already a ball of stress and sick to my stomach about work. I have vague memories of a dream where everyone was on my case about all my work /due dates.

I just left the office about nine hours ago.

At this point, I think a new job is not only desired but necessary for my mental and physical health.

by Anonymousreply 15005/21/2013

[bold]FUUUUUUCK![/BOLD]

My 10 yr. old blind cocker spaniel is lost. He got loose late afternoon or early this evening while I was out. He got through a loose fence board that gave way. I live on a busy street too. I've been searching for him on foot and a friend helped looked in his car and I just listed him lost on CL. Fuck fuck fuck. It's dark now but I'm out to go look some more. This is what I get for leaving the kitchen door ajar.

by Anonymousreply 15105/21/2013

[bold]...[/bold]

by Anonymousreply 15205/21/2013

Fluffy was found thank goodness. A rush hour motorist picked him up yesterday and I just got back. It turns out that Fluffy is two years older than I thought.

by Anonymousreply 15305/22/2013

[bold]this text will be bold[/bold]

Did I turn it off???

by Anonymousreply 15405/22/2013

I found some Girl Scout cookies but they're kinda stale.

I'm eating them anyway.

by Anonymousreply 15505/22/2013

[/bold] another attempt

by Anonymousreply 15605/23/2013

Holy shit. I have a crack in one of my front teeth. I can't really see it, but I can feel it if I run a fingernail down my tooth. God knows how much this is going to cost.

by Anonymousreply 15705/23/2013

Counting the hours until the 3 day weekend...wishing it was tomorrow at 3:30 (assuming the higher ups let us leave early) I am SO ready for a break from this place... the woman who sits across from me.

by Anonymousreply 15805/23/2013

I watched that show Royal Pains. They're not even trying to pretend they are in the Hamptons. It's totally SoCal. And who is the lead guy related to in show biz? He's fug, not a great actor and his eye job is worse than Joe Pesce's was in My Cousin Vinnie. He must have gotten his job through connections.

by Anonymousreply 15905/28/2013

I ate a Fiber One bar for breakfast -- new flavor for me, Trail Mix. I had no idea it had 9 gm of fiber in it. Now I'm farting my brains out. My old Fiber One bar only had 5 gm fiber.

by Anonymousreply 16005/29/2013

The toads are whistling in the wet, rain soaked darkness. It's a peaceful sound.

by Anonymousreply 16106/02/2013

I got 2 hours sleep last night- no idea why. I'm turning the laptop OFF at 9am and turning the TV on for an hour. I have Nytol if I need it, but I'm going down the hot chocolate route in the hope of sleep without pills (even if they say they're herbal!)

Brain barely functioning.

So tired.

by Anonymousreply 16206/03/2013

LOL 9am, Jesus I [italic]am[/italic] gone!

by Anonymousreply 16306/03/2013

I used to be bothered by the VCR which always thought the time of day was a flashing 12:00 AM. Now, every piece of electronic gear knows the exact time--to the second--right out of the box. I am no longer annoyed; I am unnerved.

by Anonymousreply 16406/03/2013

Why won't Russell Tovey be my boyfriend? Why?!?!

by Anonymousreply 16506/07/2013

I've noticed a distinct lack of threads about me recently.

I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the BOARD!

by Anonymousreply 16606/08/2013

I am watching My Favorite Martian. I haven't seen the show in 50 years. I don't think it was ever syndicated in reruns.

I can't believe how many episodes they made per season -- 37!

And it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I can ignore the canned laughter. I found it annoying as a kid, so I learned to tune it out. Bill Bixby was cute and Ray Walston sported a Caesar haircut 40 years before George Clooney.

by Anonymousreply 16706/08/2013

I require more caffeine. Please assist my procurement.

by Anonymousreply 16806/09/2013

Link

Link

Link

by Anonymousreply 16906/09/2013

AYB's foreskin has the most delectably virile musk.

Discuss.

by Anonymousreply 17006/09/2013

I went to see the Psychedelic Furs tonight. Now I'm eating leftover curry. Next, I watch an episode or two of The Fall on Netflix.

by Anonymousreply 17106/10/2013

**************HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYB!

I remembered your B-D is in the middle of June, I think b/c you bitched about "You're the One That I Want" being the #1 song on the charts on the week you were born.

by Anonymousreply 17206/12/2013

R172, thanks babe. It's on Monday. That's some memory you've got there- are you my stalker? I don't *feel* like I'm almost 35. But I am. Weird.

*kisses doll*

Currently completely obsessed with this song- specifically the middle to the end.

by Anonymousreply 17306/15/2013

I miss my Dad. My life stopped the day he died. I'll never get it back.

by Anonymousreply 17406/16/2013

Hang in there, r150. I've been in your shoes and lucked into a better situation. Here's hoping you do, too.

by Anonymousreply 17506/18/2013

I ♥ ayb, even though he's way too old for me.

by Anonymousreply 17606/18/2013

My old job finally got around to paying me about 10k in late paychecks. I used it to pay off my car and all my credit cards. I should feel happy, but my suddenly-increased, now greatly-reduced bank account is putting a damper on it.

by Anonymousreply 17706/18/2013

ekiB - dyolF kniP

by Anonymousreply 17806/19/2013

You should be elated, r177. Ridding yourself of that much debt is a great thing. Now your freed up to invest all that money for your retirement!

by Anonymousreply 17906/20/2013

I am so heartbroken right now that if I could, I'd change places with James Gandolfini.

by Anonymousreply 18006/20/2013

I know there's at least one other Ham radio guy on DL (with my luck, he's like most Hams...a libertarian in his 80's), and I'm braggin'. I just passed Elements 2, 3, and 4 and I'm now an Extra Class Ham.

Christ, I'm too poor for this hobby. I'll soon be begging in the street for antenna wire and old radio tubes.

by Anonymousreply 18106/20/2013

My brother is a cool ham guy, R181. His call letters are KCØRPS. He's not gay, though.

by Anonymousreply 18206/20/2013

Ciaran is that really you on the DLFB? I won't believe it until I see you post on this thread under your authenticated name confirming it- sorry, but we've had our share of trolls and I really need to know I haven't just let in a trojan twat.

Thanks in advance, doll.

by Anonymousreply 18306/20/2013

Well I'll be. I finally found a song I've been looking for for ages. It's called "Something for Nothing" (1975) by Debbie Sabusawa (great name huh?).

It's a VD awareness song. Used to have it on a 45 when it came out but one of my friends stole it back in '77-'78. They were being passed out for free somewhere. The singer's photo was on the 45's paper sleeve. She looked sorta like Yvonne Elliman or the Mazola "we called it maize" margarine woman. Anyway, it's a pretty song and here's a link where you can listen to it if you're curious.

by Anonymousreply 18406/23/2013

Hi ayb. Are you convinced yet? If you're still not sure, follow me on twitter...

by Anonymousreply 18506/23/2013

Waiting for the housekeeper to leave so I can order a pizza. WHY WON'T SHE GO HOME??

It's because my house is filthy, isn't it.

I'm so ashamed.

by Anonymousreply 18606/23/2013

Now I'm convinced, Ciaran. Thanks for confirming :)

One can never be too careful with all these awful trolls about.

Last night at my folks' we ordered a take away curry. It was overpriced, and they tried to stiff us on one of the items. But the biggest crime of all was its unrelenting blandness. Take away is getting really crap in the UK.

by Anonymousreply 18706/24/2013

The moon was blood red when it rose tonight

by Anonymousreply 18806/25/2013

The world is entering a very dangerous, very dangerous period right now. Hold on to your seats and stock up on non-perishables.

by Anonymousreply 18906/25/2013

The sheer number of hotties at the coffeehouse today is mind-numbing. Jeezus.

by Anonymousreply 19006/25/2013

Is there any nutritional value in performing analigus?

by Anonymousreply 19106/25/2013

I watched a few Shane Dawson vids on youtube and he’s funny.

I was sure he was gay, but he says he has a girlfriend. He’s overly obsessed with gays for a straight guy.

by Anonymousreply 19206/26/2013

I've got a great new title for every single future Hollywood movie ever made(just so they don't have to strain their brains thinking of something new): 120 Minutes of My Life I'll Never Get Back

by Anonymousreply 19406/29/2013

Not many lightning bugs on eastern Long Island this year.

Last year I saw the most lightning bugs ever.

by Anonymousreply 19506/29/2013

I'm drinking coffee and getting ready for CBS Sunday Morning. I always think of my dad when I watch it.

by Anonymousreply 19606/30/2013

How many times should one allow a "friend" to cancel plans at the last minute before taking the hint and subsequently punching & deleting said friend?

by Anonymousreply 19807/01/2013

I'm beginning to believe that "what you resist, persists" is true

by Anonymousreply 19907/01/2013

r200: How is Largo doing?

r198: Some people are flakes by nature -- just depends on how well you can tolerate it. Sounds like you'd be best served by allowing it to taper off. It will take care of itself.

by Anonymousreply 20107/02/2013

Last year I bought a bunch of Cosmos seeds for 25 cents a pack at the end of summer. I sprinkled then in my side flowerbed in May and they are all blooming nicely.

by Anonymousreply 20207/04/2013

s

by Anonymousreply 20307/07/2013

f

by Anonymousreply 20407/07/2013

^^Oh Papa Tooney. We've got us a Looney.

by Anonymousreply 20507/08/2013

Going up the beach today. I probably won't hang around there for hours as originally planned and there's a part of me that wants to be a grump and avoid going out in the nice weather, but I'm going to be shut away in work until the end of August baring the usual crummy short weekends, now. So I guess I don't have a choice.

by Anonymousreply 20607/13/2013

It may be sno-cone season but I'll be damned if I know where to get one.

by Anonymousreply 20707/15/2013

We've had 5 guinea fowl roving our neighborhood for almost a year now. Suddenly, there were only 4 and that very day there was an article in the local paper saying the first coyote sighting in over 100 years has been confirmed. On my block :(

by Anonymousreply 20807/15/2013

THere doesn't appear to be an All Star thread.

by Anonymousreply 20907/16/2013

just went out of the house for the first time all day to buy dinner. Mediterranean tuna salad sandwich on olive bread. the olives in the tuna salad and the bread overwhelmed the tuna, resulting in an underwhelming sandwich.

by Anonymousreply 21007/20/2013

I broke my toe.

It's turning a lovely shade of purple,

Fuck.

by Anonymousreply 21107/20/2013

R210, I'm going to make tuna salad tomorrow & might like to try olives in it. I've only got the green kind, stuffed with pimentos, but I think that sounds better than the black ones.

by Anonymousreply 21207/20/2013

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

by Anonymousreply 21307/20/2013

I love olives. Black, green, red - it doesn't matter. They are precious in my sight.

Mmmmm.

by Anonymousreply 21407/21/2013

This pic is fran-friggin-tastic. So is Sam Phillips btw.

by Anonymousreply 21507/22/2013

r212, how did your tuna and olives experiment turn out? i made roast provencal chicken from the bon a petit summer issue for dinner today. i didn't have herbes province, so i just used thyme oregano and fennel seeds instead. it was ok. now i feel like i have to find herbes provence to try it again tomorrow.

by Anonymousreply 21607/22/2013

I told myself I'd be in bed by 10:00 pm. But I've had one drink too many and now Im watching that Bar Rescue show which makes me want to make another cocktail. It's now almost midnight.

by Anonymousreply 21707/22/2013

Would you consider a job like this?

To me it sounds like the assistant could end up doing the guy's laundry and scrubbing his toilet, rather than learn about business.

And no way one can save money on a job like this. $100 a week... wtf!

[italic]Assistant needed in exchange for rent & $400 per month (Hollywood Hills)

1BR house

Looking for a personal assistant that would be interested in being available throughout the day to manage my real estate affairs, cooking, cleaning, and managing my daily life.

Ideally want someone personable that enjoys helping others.

The job would pay $100 per week cash however would come with free housing in my Million dollar home in the hills with free reign of all the amenities including Jacuzzi overlooking the hills, Cable and fast WiFi, use of IPhone 4S and Laptop; and also access to a 2 story downtown Penthouse loft. All food, utilities, laundry and parking will be include with your job.

Learn how I make money if your interested on real estate or expanding your business experience; or just try something new. If you are responsible organized and willing to work hard. Would love to discuss this opportunity with you.

Please email me with a icture of yourself as well as a bit about your interest and why your interested in the position. Looking to begin this arrangement the beginning of August.

I am a single 34 year old investment banker, very social and love to entertain. Am always on the go and could you the perfect assistant to make everything run smoothly.

Please send all requested info to receive a response.

Thanks!

Charles[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 21807/25/2013

I hate that CBS doesn't have its morning news show on Saturday mornings; I can't stand to watch the steaming pile of shit that is GMA.

by Anonymousreply 21907/27/2013

Oops. Nevermind.

by Anonymousreply 22007/27/2013

Thank goodness for the almost-August chillier evenings. Tonight, for the first time in ages, I did not sit in my lounge dripping with sweat.

by Anonymousreply 22107/29/2013

:D

by Anonymousreply 22208/10/2013

Is it a spaghetti night? Because I think it might be a spaghetti night.

by Anonymousreply 22308/11/2013

I just played 90,000-seat stadium.

And only 40 people bothered turning up!

FML

by Anonymousreply 22408/21/2013

One of my favourite British actors told me I have great tits. :-D

by Anonymousreply 22508/21/2013

Remember when these threads didn't take so long to complete?

What is happening???

At the moment I'm overdosing on all things Frank Zappa. It occurred to me and my brother when we were talking recently that his cancer coincided with his almost becoming a Cultural Attaché in the new Czech republic and having just released "The Real Frank Zappa Book" which takes apart everything that's wrong with America, and by extension the West, very effectively.

We agreed he was probably done away with. The same year (1990) he was diagnosed was the same year the US govt. told the Czechs to cool it with him.

Just a theory of course, but I don't really believe in coincidences. Check out the part on his politics on Wikipedia. He was getting in the way of US business interests.

by Anonymousreply 22608/22/2013

OK -I'll bore you with my tale.

I've posted before (perhaps in this very thread) about my huge crush on a hot dad at my gym. He's in his 40s, devastatingly handsome, incredible shape, muscular but not steroid-y or body builder, and was always polite. Often worked out with his college-aged son.

I had seen him and his wife around town occasionally. Then in early May, Kentucky Derby party, we were both there but didn't know many people so we started talking and hit it off. Over the summer we've become friends. We've played golf together, I've met him (and sometimes his wife and other friends) for drinks/dinner. This past weekend, I went sailing with them on his in-laws boat. With him, his wife, son, daughter, and a few other friends they invited.

So there is NO chance of a hook-up. This guy is totally into his wife and family. Which ironically, makes me crush on him more - seeing how much he loves his wife and kids is heart-warming. (MARY!) And while it kills me, because I fantasize about running away with him, I value their friendship and could never do anything like that to her - she is the kindest, most generous person I've met. (Plus I can totally see why he's into her - looks fantastic, sense of humor, etc.)

So there's my story. Dreamed about this guy, now we're friends, and spending time with him is both wonderful and heart-breaking.

Maybe I should go for the son.

by Anonymousreply 22708/26/2013

It's getting to be that time to hit the Coinstar machine again. I typically net between 9-14 bucks.

by Anonymousreply 22808/31/2013

My half-Pakistani fuck buddy just left.

He's half my age and hung like a horse.

That is all.

by Anonymousreply 22908/31/2013

There has been a lot of wonderful weather this summer, but I can't bring myself to go out and enjoy it. Sometimes living in a flat really sucks.

by Anonymousreply 23009/03/2013

Then stop mooning over Diana books dreaming how a tiara would add sparkle to your visage and head down to the Heath for some cock.

by Anonymousreply 23109/03/2013

its finally dawning on me that i am overspending on cable. i rarely watch the premium channels especially in the summer. i didn't watch true blood this season, but i am sure to miss it as soon as i cut off hbo.

by Anonymousreply 23209/03/2013

Nevermind

by Anonymousreply 23309/07/2013

I know I type like a massive queen, but I'm actually one of those types who 'pass' easily because I came out late.

It's okay, I know you don't believe me. Just meet me and you'll see.

I'm disappointingly English.

Goodnight,

by Anonymousreply 23409/09/2013

Dumped by my fuck buddy. Fuck. Now I have to go on the prowl again.

by Anonymousreply 23509/10/2013

Time for coffee and a protein bar.

by Anonymousreply 23609/10/2013

It just seems such a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

by Anonymousreply 23709/14/2013

Somewhere, Gagabot's head is exploding...

by Anonymousreply 23809/14/2013

I should be at shul right now, observing Yom Kippur, but instead, I'm ... well, you know. I'm going later. Lest I be struck dead.

by Anonymousreply 23909/14/2013

Better struck dead than stuck fat (or ugly), r239.

I can't believe how chilly it's gotten in the last few days. And I can't fit into my jeans. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 24009/14/2013

Glad to have the a/c off

by Anonymousreply 24109/14/2013

The other day I made a green poop. My poop has never been green. What could that mean?

by Anonymousreply 24209/14/2013

Why is it all the hot guys are the ones on meth?

by Anonymousreply 24309/15/2013

I aspirated a hot pepper yesterday and despite trying to force myself to cough, couldn't get rid of it until this morning after sleeping with my feet above my head.

by Anonymousreply 24409/15/2013

Did you eat liquorice, R242?

by Anonymousreply 24509/15/2013

[quote]Why is it all the hot guys are the ones on meth?

That's the only way they can stay thin. Either that or smoking and smoking is too damned expensive anymore.

by Anonymousreply 24609/15/2013

I meant to set my dvr to record FAMILY PLOT. I forgot to.

by Anonymousreply 24709/15/2013

Why did my fart follow me all the way up the escalator? I would have thought that I would move out of the stank zone rather quickly but, nope, it followed me all the way up.

by Anonymousreply 24809/16/2013

Stalked by a fart.

Oh, the humanity!

by Anonymousreply 24909/16/2013

On my way home from work yesterday, I tripped and fell down the last ten or so steps of the subway stairs. I got right up and felt OK, but expected to be sore in places today. I feel perfectly OK, though.

by Anonymousreply 25009/18/2013

I wish I had some weed.

This wine isn't doing what's required.

by Anonymousreply 25109/20/2013

I had a cheeseburger last night for the first time in forever. Now I'm craving one again and it's not even 10am.

by Anonymousreply 25209/22/2013

So fucking bored. I wish my fuck buddy would get his ass over here.

by Anonymousreply 25309/30/2013

I went home at lunchtime and the flood alarm in the basement was going off. It turned out one of my cats had coughed up a hairball on it.

by Anonymousreply 25410/01/2013

HA! Good kitty. I hope you took the rest of the day off, r254.

by Anonymousreply 25510/01/2013

Last night a coworker's husband saw four deer crossing the intersection of Eight Mile and Greenfield, on the border of the city of Detroit and the suburb of Southfield.

THERE ARE HERDS OF DEER LIVING IN DETROIT.

by Anonymousreply 25610/03/2013

Sure. Since a lot of the human population has moved or abandoned their houses, the wildlife will move in and take over.

Shoot the fuckers.

by Anonymousreply 25710/03/2013

I just ate a whole sleeve of gluten and sodium, by which I mean crackers. Well, there goes my last trip to the gym.

by Anonymousreply 25810/03/2013

Sublime.

by Anonymousreply 25910/05/2013

Wish I'd been in Sydney tonight.

by Anonymousreply 26010/05/2013

Should I have potato chips? Or toast?

by Anonymousreply 26110/05/2013

Depends what you're going to put on the toast and what kind of crisps you have. One must have complete information before making such weighty decisions.

by Anonymousreply 26210/05/2013

Shampoo, 80s style.

by Anonymousreply 26310/06/2013

Okay I just watched "The Princess Bride" does anyone else in the world think this film is horribly overrated dross?

Or am I almost totally alone in that thought?

People whose film opinions I generally respect recommended it, and I've seen the quotes all over the web over the years. Thinking I was missing out, I rented it and... ehh.

I know a film is bad when I find myself going to IMDB whilst it's still playing to see if anyone agreed with me.

Where was the spoof? I was expecting something between Mel Brooks and Monty Python. It was just a sappy kid's film with some good sword fights and a few memorable lines raising the odd chuckle.

I kept waiting for it to 'grow up' and do something smart and it never came. It was like live-action Disney with some blood.

I haven't started a thread because I know it's so loved and didn't want a flame war.

*shrugs*

*shudders a bit at thought of being vilified*

by Anonymousreply 26410/06/2013

I was looking through the Fear Finder--the free newspaper that comes out every fall advertising local haunted attractions--and found one place in Lapeer that offers the House of Horrors, the Corn Maze of Fear and the Hayride of Despair.

by Anonymousreply 26510/07/2013

I think it's kind of hilarious how they hate Halloween in the UK and are determined that no vulgar, consumer-centered American holiday be allowed to take over the precious culture.

Hayrides? Corn mazes? Pumpkin picking? Candy-apples, roast corn on the cob, eaten outdoors? Good Christ, no! We'd rather burn the guy!

by Anonymousreply 26610/07/2013

I wonder if they hate it because it is a custom originally started in Ireland, R266?

by Anonymousreply 26710/07/2013

I'd rather burn the guy, too, r266 but the fundies would be up in arms and probably try to burn ME.

In the US, we have to make sure we don't offend the religious nuts with anything that's remotely "pagan" or they scream they're being persecuted. If only.

So that's why Halloween isn't what it *should* be. Altho some of us continue to celebrate in secret the way it should be.

by Anonymousreply 26810/07/2013

God fucking help me. I had my window open because it was so hot... And I realised the heat was on. I went into the hallway and the thermostat was set at 76. I found my husband and asked him why the heat was on. He said, whilst wearing a pair of shorts and a tee shirt, that he felt cold, so he turned the heat up.

by Anonymousreply 26910/08/2013

Is your husband at least good-looking, r269?

by Anonymousreply 27010/08/2013

He's too skinny, R270. Which is one of the reasons why he is cold. That and being underdressed for October. Hes obsessed with having the same waist he had in his 20s. But in order o have the same waist he had in his 20s, he has to be 25 lbs underweight and being underweight makes him look older.

by Anonymousreply 27110/08/2013

"Maybe it's time to stop not doing what you pretended you can do and can't, and start doing the thing that you can't do, but can no longer pretend that you can."

by Anonymousreply 27210/12/2013

I miss Jerri Blank.

by Anonymousreply 27310/13/2013

In other words, he IS dumb. And vain.

Tell him to freaking eat something and stop trying to roast you, r 271.

by Anonymousreply 27410/13/2013

Why does my front page include threads that haven't been touched for a week?

by Anonymousreply 27510/19/2013

I really like Depeche Mode's latest album.

by Anonymousreply 27610/19/2013

I just finished watching this.

King of the Hill - "Hank's Dirty Laundry" First Aired: 3/01/98. Reports of unreturned X-rated videos ruin Hank's credit rating. Guest voice Lynne Thigpen.

This ep is the one that has Peggy driving and singing Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton. Any episode that has Peggy singing is bound to be good I tell you what.

by Anonymousreply 27710/19/2013

I'm so fucking mad and I don't even know why. I think I'm going to clean or head to the gym. Fuck.

by Anonymousreply 27810/19/2013

What did Heracles' wife say when she gave him the poisoned shirt?

"Die in a Greece fire."

by Anonymousreply 27910/21/2013

I think my partner may be falling out of love with me.

If it happens, I'm not sure I'll be able to cope. I know, I should be sanguine about it all. But this was the big one, the love of my life, the relationship I never thought I'd have. And if it goes away, I will be devastated beyond words.

by Anonymousreply 28010/21/2013

I hate my brother

by Anonymousreply 28110/21/2013

I'm watching David Tennant's "Hamlet" and it's not half bad.

by Anonymousreply 28210/21/2013

[quote] I'd rather burn the guy, too, [R266] but the fundies would be up in arms and probably try to burn ME. In the US, we have to make sure we don't offend the religious nuts with anything that's remotely "pagan" or they scream they're being persecuted. If only. So that's why Halloween isn't what it *should* be. Altho some of us continue to celebrate in secret the way it should be.

Burning the guy has nothing to do with Halloween and isn't pagan. It's a tradition on Guy Fawkes Day to burn the guy in a bonfire. British people prefer to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day rather than Halloween. Halloween is seen as a crass, commercial American holiday where children rudely demand candy while Guy Fawkes Day is considered a good solid British holiday.

There is much disgust aimed at Halloween in the UK (Australia too) to the point where in the UK there are now signs distributed in communities for people to put on their windows indicating they do not participate in Halloween. "Trick or treating" is reviled, as "gangs of children" descend upon comfy households "demanding sweets with the threat of property damage if refused."

Fact is, American trick or treating is traced to "souring," where children were given cakes if they promised to pray for the souls of the dead relatives of people providing cakes. This was done on Nov 1, All Souls' Day, a holiday the church started to try and wipe out the pagan holiday of All Hallows' Eve. These holiday traditions are much older than Guy Fawkes Day.

by Anonymousreply 28310/21/2013

Why do you think he's falling out of love with you, r280? Talk to us.

by Anonymousreply 28410/21/2013

dongle

by Anonymousreply 28510/22/2013

DL is messed up again only allowing threads from my feed watcher to show up. I don't want to delete cookies and reenter my subscription ID because it will erase everything in my feed watcher. Yawn.

by Anonymousreply 28610/22/2013

I have a cold -- the first cold I've had in years. A few days ago I went to a doctor's office to get a referral for a sleep lab study. I swear I picked up germs there. Fucking sick people spreading their diseases....

by Anonymousreply 28710/26/2013

This is me, studying. I hope my sister stays on her side of the table and keeps her nose out of my computer.

by Anonymousreply 28810/27/2013

Ok, I thought I was turning into my grandfather, who coughed and hacked every minute he was awake. (Of course, he was a chain smoker and I don't smoke, so why I would turn into him would be purely genetic, if true).

Anyway, I had thick goop pouring down the back of my throat, cutting off my oxygen supply, causing me to cough. Much goop escaped into my lungs, giving me a rattling chest cough. I sounded like a dying smoker. My throat and neck muscles hurt from coughing so much. I thought I was a goner. I wasn't sneezing or sniffling.

I went to my dentist to get my overdue teeth cleaning and warned them I had postnasal drip, so if I held up my hand, it meant I needed to cough. My dentist said her son had been suffering the same thing for a week. When I coughed, she said it was the same cough. I was so relieved! I wasn't turning into my grandfather after all!

The dentist said she took her kid to the doctor and it's some kind of weird virus going round that is all about postnasal drip.

by Anonymousreply 28911/05/2013

Thanks for posting that, R289.

I've been dealing with the same thing for the last 2 weeks.

Have tried Alka-Seltzer Plus cold, Theraflu, Mucinex, DayQuil and NyQuil and nothing is working!

I'm not going to ask my doctor for any antibiotics. I'll just muddle through until it goes away.

by Anonymousreply 29011/05/2013

This thread is 9 mos. old.

by Anonymousreply 29111/19/2013

And as such, it is now ready to be born. Hooray. I'll get the cigars.

by Anonymousreply 29211/19/2013

No one would tolerate cigars around here, R292. It'll have to be a Tic Tacs, which we can austerely suck on whilst unconvincingly feigning delight.

My life? My life! Gone all Jewish Mama on you there. Sorry about that. Yes, it's still all about how much work sucks. I am looking forward to handing in my notice on the 2nd January.

New task: let's get this thread to 600 before the end of the year. Underwhelmed is a dying tradition on the DL, like good manners, oy! You never saw such rudeness. Enough with my complaining- let's have some FUN.

GO!

by Anonymousreply 29311/20/2013

Do I continue putting cumin in my chili or not. I like it better without but ,every single recipe says " It's not really chilli without cumin" I am sad that I don't know my own mind.

by Anonymousreply 29411/20/2013

Would anyone like a Triscuit? I can also offer blackberries, strawberries, and clementines. Coffee or tea if you wish.

by Anonymousreply 29511/20/2013

My feet are feeling a tad cold. I may go hunt down my cozy little socks to keep them warm whilst I do my homework.

by Anonymousreply 29611/21/2013

It's been two weeks now and I still feel like shite. I just can't shake this cold. I was coughing so much that I pulled a muscle in my back. Unfortunately, I can't just stop and rest. Will I ever feel better again?

by Anonymousreply 29711/21/2013

I bought some canned goods to donate to a food drive we're having at work. I'd love to throw a bottle of good whiskey in there, but I don't think it would go over too well.

by Anonymousreply 29811/24/2013

i'm reading this thread on my ipad while having a bm.

by Anonymousreply 29911/24/2013

I've read every entry in this thread and still think, WTF?

by Anonymousreply 30011/25/2013

Just got back from 2 weeks in Paris and Berlin. For the first week back, I was dreaming in French, despite not speaking it since High School 35 years ago. Hurray!

by Anonymousreply 30111/25/2013

[quote]Do I continue putting cumin in my chili or not. I like it better without but ,every single recipe says " It's not really chilli without cumin" I am sad that I don't know my own mind.

If it's just for yourself, leave out the cumin and call it whatever you like. So long as it has chilies (hot peppers) in it, it's chili. If you're making it for others, add the cumin, but perhaps not as much.

by Anonymousreply 30211/25/2013

I feel like that Semi-Homemade woman we all love to hate on Food Network. I'm taking all these shortcuts at Thanksgiving this year, by tweaking the grocery store's pre-made dishes with an extra ingredient or two passing them off as my own.

I'm so naughty.

by Anonymousreply 30311/25/2013

Snarfing cashews and composing my Christmas card list. It looks like I'm only sending out eighteen personal cards this year. Probably a hundred at work. Does anyone else send out cards anymore? I usually receive ten to fifteen at home.

by Anonymousreply 30411/27/2013

You guys are my only friends. I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks for always being here.

by Anonymousreply 30512/01/2013

We love you, too, r305. Have a good day, buddy.

by Anonymousreply 30612/01/2013

I don't even fucking know who Paul Walker is.

Fast and the Furious??? Who gives a shit?!?

by Anonymousreply 30712/01/2013

On my second glass of wine and browsing for gifts. Not a frau or a coffee mug cradler, I swear.

by Anonymousreply 30812/01/2013

Today doesn't suck as much as I thought it would. I was on vacation all last week so when the alarm went off this morning, I thought I'd be more angry.

Of course, I'm on vacation again from 12/25 - 01/01/14 so that may help.

by Anonymousreply 30912/02/2013

Just spoke to a handsome drear on Grindr with no sense of humour who was incredibly dull and lifeless, and selfish too.

Those who will take a blowjob but won't give one? You're monsters.

Anyway!

by Anonymousreply 31012/06/2013

Then you have me, ayb. I'd rather give and not get -- I'm good at what I do, but I find that most boys are not. In the end, it's just easier to jack off and fall asleep.

by Anonymousreply 31112/06/2013

I ordered my food online a fucking hour ago and they haven't arrived yet. Arrrgggghhhh.

by Anonymousreply 31212/06/2013

I hate my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. OOH!

by Anonymousreply 31312/07/2013

When did it finally arrive, R312?

by Anonymousreply 31412/07/2013

Two and a half hours later! I laughed in the guy's face and said there was no way I was accepting it.

by Anonymousreply 31512/07/2013

Unacceptable service R115! Good for you!

I ate too much chocoholic tonight, and now it's 5 am and I can't sleep.

by Anonymousreply 31612/08/2013

Finally "Can't Get Used To Losing You" by Chad and Jeremy is up on you tube.

by Anonymousreply 31712/10/2013

A friend gave me a trimmed rosemary bush today; I prefer them to Christmas trees. Now my living room smells wonderful. I hope the Christmas Mouse will soon drop by for a thimbleful of hot cocoa.

by Anonymousreply 31812/10/2013

I used to love Charlie McDermott on The Middle but they've made his character too mean. Snarky was good, cruel and hateful is not.

by Anonymousreply 31912/11/2013

I'm dreading having to take my cats to the vet tomorrow for their annual wellness visit. I'm not expecting any trouble with my female cat, but my male cat has aggressive tendencies and I'm worried he'll scratch and bite. I'm going to give him a tranq before I bring him in. I hope I can actually get him to ingest it rather then to ingeniously stash it somewhere in his mouth and then ditch it behind my back.

by Anonymousreply 32012/11/2013

I fairly certain my backdoor squirrel is dead. Haven't seen him at all today and he always is out there on the fence running back and forth throughout the day. Last night when I walked my dog I saw a dead squirrel in the parking lot down the street. It must have been him.

by Anonymousreply 32112/12/2013

I am very sorry to hear about your back door squirrel. May your many memories of him frolicking in your backyard bring you comfort. Do you have a front door squirrel?

by Anonymousreply 32212/13/2013

I Christmas-wrapped a giant-sized bag of Raisonettes for Larry the Letter Carrier. I'm going to place it in the mailbox later for him later. I always give him chocolate for Christmas, but usually I don't wrap it, I just put it in one of this cute little decorative bags. Does anyone else give their mailperson a gift at Christmas?

by Anonymousreply 32312/13/2013

I was channel guiding and noticed General Hospital. I thought they shut down that shit years ago. It was two ugly white people in a freight elevator or something. I think the dude was called Spinelli? Spindarella?

by Anonymousreply 32412/16/2013

The group of this site on the place with the name that we dare not speak here is now up to 499 members. It would would be lovely if we could make it 500 before Christmas.

Just sayin'

*kisses doll*

by Anonymousreply 32512/19/2013

Bump

by Anonymousreply 32612/20/2013

Left the office at 10pm. I really want to watch bad TV and pig out on pizza, but... I guess I'll just settle for the bad TV half of the deal.

by Anonymousreply 32712/21/2013

Mam doesn't think White Winter Hymnal is very Christmasy. I sang it anyway.

by Anonymousreply 32812/22/2013

I've made the traditional Christmas Cashew Nut Loaf today, it's reaching completion in the oven as we speak.

Apparently my food tastes are a bit Michfest.

Merry Xmas, bitches

XXX

by Anonymousreply 32912/23/2013

I'm tired and hungover. Broke up with my luvah last night after he picked me up from a friend's wedding - viva le open bar! - and had crazy breakup sex. Finally worked up the courage to tell him how I felt when I was tipsy. Sniff.

Heading home soon for a satisfying American Horror Story marathon - am up to the end of season 1.

Probably will scramble an egg or two for my sad sack dinner.

by Anonymousreply 33012/23/2013

Just saw the International Space Station fly overhead. Took about 5 minutes to transverse the sky. I seemed to be able to make out a pair of solar panels, but it seems hard to believe they could be seen with the unaided eye.

by Anonymousreply 33112/26/2013

[quote] Does anyone else give their mailperson a gift at Christmas?

Yes, but I give a gift cert to 711 or Dunkin Donuts or Subway. It has to be less that $20 though, because the USPS doesn't allow a gift worth $20 or more.

Too bad Congess can't have the same rules.

by Anonymousreply 33212/27/2013

I am Still. So. Fucking. Exhausted. From. Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 33312/27/2013

R333, Mary! Hang in there, baby x

Well here we are, post-Christmas. I've actually enjoyed it this year, it's been quite fun. And still more to come.

Last night I had great sex with a 20 year old, and he responded to my after-text today so hopefully he'll be a new fuckbuddy for 2014. It was so good it was positively indecent.

I'm a whore, darlin'

by Anonymousreply 33412/28/2013

Look at ayb robbing the cradle. As your spirit guide would proclaim, "I should have known you'd know where to find the weed AND the boys!"

by Anonymousreply 33512/28/2013

R335 lol @ spirit guide. So stealing that. Brilliant.

by Anonymousreply 33612/28/2013

I have gas.

by Anonymousreply 33712/28/2013

I can't stop crying.

by Anonymousreply 33812/28/2013

Happy New Year!

by Anonymousreply 33901/06/2014

I'm at the library and thinking it would probably be a good idea to bring alcohol wipes next time I come here to wipe off the keyboard and mouse. Really don't want to think about the hands that have typed before me.

by Anonymousreply 34001/06/2014

I love this thread.

by Anonymousreply 34101/06/2014

Nobody gives a flying fuck about an Olympic skier, even if she is screwing Tiger Woods.

by Anonymousreply 34201/07/2014

It's all about Disco chez moi en ce moment, mes bitchez.

by Anonymousreply 34301/07/2014

Got up, dressed, drove to work, sat at my desk before I realized that it's my day off.

FML

by Anonymousreply 34401/07/2014

Pine Sol's "New Longer Lasting Scent" offends.

by Anonymousreply 34501/07/2014

My Poo-Pourri no longer is getting the job done.

by Anonymousreply 34601/07/2014

Yesterday, my garage door was frozen shut so I couldn't go to work. I had a couple of conference calls (one for 3 hours) and was able to access my email from my home computer (didn't bring my work laptop home with me on Monday night).

Today, I was able to get the garage door open and am now sitting at work with NOTHING TO DO and NO MEETINGS!!

Wished the days had been reversed.

by Anonymousreply 34701/08/2014

I'm back at the library and dang! forgot to bring the alcohol wipes. It was enough of a job just getting dressed so I'd be warm on the drive over, not to mention stopping at the p.o. to mail a letter. At least I didn't have to get gas.

I'm sitting at a different computer and have to admit these keys are less sticky which makes me wonder what the heck was going on at the old computer. Don't think I'll be going back.

by Anonymousreply 34801/08/2014

I am so fucking lonely.

by Anonymousreply 34901/10/2014

I just came back from my local cat boutique after stocking up on organic catnip and premium quality nip toys. I got the high-quality stuff for my cats when I adopted them last spring and now they refuse to touch the stuff from Petsmart or the grocery store. Only the highest quality nip will do. They are currently going nuts over their new Yeeowww toys, kicking and biting and licking and hugging them.

by Anonymousreply 35001/10/2014

R349, I'm so sorry. As corny as it sounds, am sending a hug. Have spent much of my life lonely and know the feeling. Please do something nice for yourself today.

by Anonymousreply 35101/10/2014

I just realised "Loose Women" is just "The View" in a UK format. Why didn't I work this out sooner? I've been trolling this place for nearly a decade and I didn't work that out yet?

God I hate "Loose Women", it's like being trapped in a live version of the Daily Mail.

*shudder*

by Anonymousreply 35201/10/2014

I'm back at the library for my afternoon session. Had a spinach and feta pot pie for lunch. It's really raining hard but for some weird reason I'm not anxious driving in the rain.

by Anonymousreply 35301/10/2014

I work at home in snowy Michigan and haven't dressed in two days, showered in three, or left my house in four. I realize how lucky I am.

Gotta leave the house tomorrow and get groceries though. The snow is melting due to the heatwave of 37 degrees.

by Anonymousreply 35401/10/2014

R354, I truly can't imagine not showering for three days. Can you smell yourself? What does it feel like?

by Anonymousreply 35501/10/2014

I feel a little grimy and three days is the limit. I can smell myself, but it isn't that bad in the winter as I keep my place relatively cool. I don't do it in the summer.

by Anonymousreply 35601/10/2014

Yuck, r354. I can smell you through the internet. I hate being unclean. I can't sleep if I haven't showered.

I can't stop eating today. This morning, I was on my way to the office fridge to get a yogurt for breakfast and passed a pile of donuts. Had two. Ordered out for lunch and got a meatball parm hero. Just got out of a meeting where we had candy. Drinking a soda now. I feel sugar sick. For the past 10 days I've been living on salads and stirfrys. This is what happens when I deprive myself of bread, meat, cheese and sugar.

by Anonymousreply 35701/10/2014

If you were to take a ruler and calculate the exact center of the top of my tongue, that is where I managed to bite it. How does one bite the middle of one's tongue - whilst eating SOUP no less...

by Anonymousreply 35801/10/2014

I just looked up Chinese New Year 2014. It falls on Friday January 31st.

The Year of the Horse.

Years of the Horse always sit right with this here tiger. I'm exited.

by Anonymousreply 35901/11/2014

Back at the library but going to see Inside Llewyn Davis this afternoon. I have to drive in the rain ... panic. Stuffed peppers for dinner tonight.

by Anonymousreply 36001/11/2014

I believe Brian Williams just made a weed reference. He said that people at the OZ open are getting baked, and not the good kind of baked.

by Anonymousreply 36101/14/2014

Why do drivers insist on trying to clean their car windshields WHILE driving!! God, this pisses me off to no end.

This morning, I cleaned my windshield BEFORE I got on the road. My windshield was nice and clear. I play the good samaritan this morning and let a car get onto the road in front of me. The bitch starts driving and THEN hits the washer fluid button!! Of course the wind blows it back but it's not enough to clean MY windshield so I'm driving with a smudge-filled windshield for about a mile until I get to a traffic light.

by Anonymousreply 36201/15/2014

At the library before I go to lunch at Whole Foods and buy fish for dinner. Llewyn Davis ok with laughs but somehow missed the mark. Needed more John Goodman.

Finished binge-watching Dexter last night and, for once, was satisfied with the ending. Wish they'd do a sequel.

Later I'm going to Walmart for aspirin and a pill box (for meds, not hat).

by Anonymousreply 36301/15/2014

My neighbor outside smoking and it's fucking freezing. I've never been a smoker, I'll never understand it.

I have tons of shit I have to get done around the house before tomorrow and Im here wasting time online. Is there something I can smoke that can have that kind of hold on my brain to get shit done? Besides crack?

by Anonymousreply 36401/16/2014

You don't remember how bad bad sex is until you have it again, do you?

Sigh. Bad tops should come with a warning label: "CAUTION: NOT VERY GOOD AT SEX"

No, it wasn't the bloke from 3 weeks ago who was great.

I know, I'm a whore, darlin'

by Anonymousreply 36501/17/2014

His birthday is coming up in two weeks and I'm trying to decide if I'm going to send a card. A nice card, a goodbye card, a best wishes card. I hate when things are complicated.

by Anonymousreply 36601/20/2014

Foghat. Gone but not forgotten.

by Anonymousreply 36701/21/2014

Just watched The Joy Luck Club.

Had forgotten how good this movie is.

by Anonymousreply 36801/22/2014

I'm leading a conf. call at 3:00PM ET and I'm a bit nervous. not sure why either, as i do a ton of these calls

by Anonymousreply 36901/22/2014

I can't believe the little shit at work hasn't been fired yet. He was supposed to be canned yesterday, but he's still here. Apparently this is one turd that won't flush.

by Anonymousreply 37001/22/2014

dada I'm goin' to "Dizz Knee Land"

by Anonymousreply 37101/23/2014

I wonder if poor Barbra has given up on doing Gypsy. I would have loved seeing her do one more musical...

by Anonymousreply 37201/23/2014

Anyone else unable to open The Good Wife thread?

by Anonymousreply 37301/23/2014

I'm trying to decide whether to buy an unopened copy of Madonna's Sex book or a used one for my coffee table. Big price difference.

by Anonymousreply 37401/23/2014

R360, are you back at the library? What do you do there all day? More, please!

by Anonymousreply 37501/23/2014

I've had a sinus cold for three days and have missed two days of work. I don't feel any better tonight, but I HAVE to go in tomorrow. It's going to be the day from hell.

Would one of you be so kind as to bring me some earl grey tea and a crumpet? Many thanks.

by Anonymousreply 37601/26/2014

I'm listening to the Triple J Hottest 100 where listeners vote for their fave songs of the last year. I've heard 5 songs so far and it's all really boring.

by Anonymousreply 37701/26/2014

I've got flu or something. Weird dizziness, no energy and just general fatigue and lack of appetite.

by Anonymousreply 37801/27/2014

R375, I visit the library every day to see if any of my reserved books have come in and also to use the computer speakers because mine at home are broken and nobody can fix them. And of course I have to hop on DL because I live in a very staid, conservative town and it tickles me to be on here reading about felching while Mildred at the next computer checks her Daily Christian Word website.

Today I ate the tiniest red apple I've seen in a long time.

by Anonymousreply 37901/27/2014

I overdid it at the gym yesterday and can barely walk today. Not in a good way.

by Anonymousreply 38001/27/2014

Wiggleworm infant survives Ferris wheel ride in Houston, TX.

by Anonymousreply 38101/27/2014

Hot Dad was back at the gym today. He and Mrs. Hot Dad went to Jackson Hole last week for a week of skiing.

There are only four shower stalls in the locker room, and a bunch of guys were showering today, so we were waiting for a while for the stalls to open up. Hot Dad stood there naked with his towel over his shoulder, then would lean over a bit and massage his thighs because they were still sore from a week of skiing. A couple of times he gave a few tugs on his cock. I had to prop one of my legs against the wall because I started to pop a boner. It's amazing how comfortable he is in his own skin, and how at ease he is standing nude in a roomful of guys.

Surprisingly, I didn't rub one out in the locker room shower, I waited until I got home. It took me about 90 seconds to come.

by Anonymousreply 38201/28/2014

R379, I love your posts!

by Anonymousreply 38301/28/2014

R375, that's very kind of you to say that.

At the library now where people are normal and I know what to expect. Neighbor invited me for lunch today at her house, said she had some exciting news. I was nervous all morning, who wants to have lunch with the neighbor? But I went and even took a fancy pound cake and two herbal teabags. Lunch was a mess, tuna fish (tasted like the kind in oil) and individual bags of Cheetos. And water! No offer of dessert.

News was she's expecting a baby (assume it's human). Oh great, now I'll be spending more time at the library.

by Anonymousreply 38401/28/2014

I've just seen Rashomon and now I have the hots for Toshirô Mifune.

by Anonymousreply 38501/30/2014

I must have a kind face.

I was in NYC yesterday and 2 different people/groups asked me for directions in the subway station.

One trio of visitors (Asians who didn't speak much English) asked which train to take to The Museum of Natural History (one of my favorite places in NY). I was able to help them, they thanked me, and I told them I hoped they enjoyed it and wished I was going with them.

The second group, also a trio, spoke English but appeared to be visiting the city because of the Super Bowl. They were going to the Port Authority Bus Terminal as was I. As we were getting off the train, they thanked me again.

I don't live in NYC (moved when I was 3 yrs old) but I do get to go into the city for business several times a year.

by Anonymousreply 38601/31/2014

R386, Just think how much better you would have felt if you had taped $100 bills to them and sent them into the worst neighborhood in the city.

by Anonymousreply 38701/31/2014

Another good one dead, again. There's no room for anything worthwhile in this world is there? And when it rears its head its just as soon snuffed out by one thing or another. No room at all.

I know, Mary!

Sad.

by Anonymousreply 38802/02/2014

[quote]I must have a kind face. I was in NYC yesterday and 2 different people/groups asked me for directions in the subway station.

I live in NYC and I get asked for directions a lot. I hope it's because people think I have a kind face.

Even if I'm jogging, or running, people stop me. Today, I was running on the promenade by the Hudson and some Spanish tourists stopped me (there were plenty of walkers around us) to ask about the nearest stairs to High Line. It was cute.

by Anonymousreply 38902/02/2014

What the hell happened to the Top Chef thread?? I click on it and its says "Thread Does Not Exist."

FYI - if you're stuck at home and have cable and electricity, Bravo is currently showing the entire season.

by Anonymousreply 39002/05/2014

I'm so unhappy. I think I'm losing my mind.

by Anonymousreply 39102/08/2014

I wish all the threads on DL were about how awful Matt Lauer is.

by Anonymousreply 39202/08/2014

Major changes to Mozilla Aurora. I wonder if Firefox has these changes. I like the new look and the new icons.

by Anonymousreply 39302/08/2014

It's Girl Scout Cookie Weekend!

You can use this online directory to find Girl Scouts selling cookies near you!

by Anonymousreply 39402/08/2014

I'm haunted by the stray dog that I saw this morning curled up by the stop sign at the entrance to my subdivision.

I walked nearby with my dog, who was a little afraid when she saw the dog and hurried along with me to get home. Not even a growl out of her, and you know how hard it is to shush a Schnauzer.

Then I immediately got some dog biscuits and walked back up there alone with a leash to get a better look. Even though I was saying "hey doggie...hey boo" in my sweetest voice the dog was frightened and ran the other way.

Towards the four-lane road.

I could see her teats---must have had a litter recently. No collar.

I'm sad.

by Anonymousreply 39502/09/2014

I got a tooth refilled.

by Anonymousreply 39602/10/2014

At the library and wishing there were tweeting birds outside the window instead of a wan winter sun.

The worst guy in Hollywood thread makes me want to read a bio of Harry Cohn. But do I really?

Saw movie A Great Beauty yesterday and still can't figure out if I liked it. Is it important cinema or silly drek? Like so much of life, hard to tell.

by Anonymousreply 39702/10/2014

So, embiggen isn't really a word? UGH.

by Anonymousreply 39802/11/2014

LOL, Ciaran.

I watch Lidia's cooking shows on local PBS stations. She always says "densen" when suggesting that cooks use pasta water to thicken sauces. I didn't think it was a word but apparently it is!

by Anonymousreply 39902/12/2014

I have a bird feeder two feet outside my window hanging from the iron raining. Mostly I get sparrows. I also get a small bird with a red spot on the back of his head. He's been coming for at least 3 or 4 years, always comes stag. I'm surprised he's lived this long. I also get the occasional blue jay, but they flee if they see me, which that always do, the scaredy cats. Rarely I get a grey squirrel, which I shoo away, those bastards!

by Anonymousreply 40002/16/2014

It's a Downy Woodpecker. God bless Google.

by Anonymousreply 40102/16/2014

Today is my first day off in over three weeks. I slept for 11 hours and 17 minutes last night.

by Anonymousreply 40202/16/2014

In about 5 minutes I'm going to start making spaghettini with a shrimp puttanesca sauce.

I'm debating whether I should top it with grated pecorino cheese (knowing that topping a shellfish sauce with cheese is an Italian no-no) or with fried breadcrumbs (which is sort of a Sicilian topping). Decisions, decisions.

Yesterday I got tickets to see [italic]The Other Josh Cohen[/italic] next month at the Paper Mill Playhouse. I never heard of this show until it was announced last year that it would be performed there.

by Anonymousreply 40302/16/2014

Heresy aside, r403, I'd rather have cheese than breadcrumbs any day.

by Anonymousreply 40402/16/2014

Lone starling at my bird feeder every day. It hides if a flock shows up. Once the flock is gone the loner returns.

by Anonymousreply 40602/16/2014

Why do Italians have some kind of thing about mixing shellfish and dairy? Is it connected with Leviticus?

by Anonymousreply 40702/16/2014

Back to work tomorrow. Over 2 months later. This is going to be painful.

by Anonymousreply 40802/16/2014

Why can I not just leave the rest of the lasagna in the fridge for another day?

by Anonymousreply 40902/16/2014

You're singing my sorrowful song R409.

by Anonymousreply 41002/16/2014

R400, if you want blue jays put peanuts in your feeder. Cardinals love peanuts, too. My blue jays get up in the tree outside of my bedroom window every day, wait quietly and start yelling as soon as I get out of bed.

by Anonymousreply 41102/16/2014

My mom rescued a baby bluejay from a neighbor's cat. We kept it as a pet for about three years. It could say help, hello, Joanne, get down and night night.

by Anonymousreply 41202/16/2014

I'm having bugles for dinner

by Anonymousreply 41302/16/2014

It's fuckin freezing out there. I've stayedn in all day, haven't even showered. But I've been feeling INTENSELY randy. Already wanked twice and I'm fairly certain I'll need more before the day is done. And I*'m not in my 20s anymore.

by Anonymousreply 41402/16/2014

I'm having bulges for dinner.

by Anonymousreply 41502/16/2014

My power blinked out three times within 10 minutes this morning, and then my desktop computer (the one I run my business on) got the dreaded "Blue Screen" and wouldn't start.

Yadda yadda two hours later I finished a "System Restore" and I'm back in business.

It was draining, emotionally. Why can't that happen on Sunday, and not today?

by Anonymousreply 41602/17/2014

Woke up in a panic today once I realized a lot of state offices are closed for Presidents Day. Quickly checked the library's website but no info. Had to call and, blessedly, a human voice answered saying they're open. Whew, close one.

by Anonymousreply 41702/17/2014

My friend just told me a riveting story of getting pulled over at 1:30 am over the weekend and being asked to perform a sobriety test by a dickish cop.

I'm scared straight now.

by Anonymousreply 41802/17/2014

I'm getting stoned and watching Chopped. I DVR'ed it last night, the episode with all of the bacon.

I love being able to fly through the commercial breaks. I don't like to wait to see which cook got Chopped.

I'm a vegetarian, so watching them all drool about cooking with bacon is kind of weird. People seem to overdo their professed love of bacon.

Pigs have such cute, curly tails. They smile while they oink, for god's sake.

by Anonymousreply 41902/17/2014

Is Datalounge broken? How the hell will I get through the day without DL?

by Anonymousreply 42002/18/2014

The ultimate frauware catalog. It's even got caftans.

by Anonymousreply 42102/18/2014

Hot Dad invited me to go skiing this weekend. His wife & daughter are on vacation this week and traveling to look at colleges, so he was planning to head up to Okemo where his in-laws have a place. He said "if you can put up with me for a few days, you're welcome to join me."

I'm under no impression that anything will happen, but I'm still giddy to be invited. Just to hang out with him excites me.

by Anonymousreply 42202/18/2014

Glad I'm at the library today because I have a lot of research to do. Just might skip my opera class (discussing Carmen) and focus on my tasks.

by Anonymousreply 42302/19/2014

I'm having Buggles for dinner

by Anonymousreply 42402/19/2014

Day Two of my 10 Day Juice and Smoothie Diet.

I made an avocado smoothie for the first time for lunch. It wasn't my normal fruit smoothie, but I guess that is the idea here---to branch out and try new drinks. I've been making green drinks in my Vitamix for over a year, but to make it 10 days I need some variety.

For dinner I will be using silken tofu for the first time to make a banana cocoa smoothie.

Ten days may be a little ambitious, but it is my own fault that I fell off my New Year's diet and need to atone and get back on track.

(My friend scored some pot on Super Bowl Sunday, which kicked off a number of beer-fueled snack binges.)

by Anonymousreply 42502/19/2014

R422 -- Okemo is packed with kids. Get up at dawn and hit the mountain as soon as the lifts start running. Ski till noon, thats about when the older kids start piling in.

Oh and dont try anything with your friend. If he starts something with you, thats another story. But don't perpetuate the stereotype that gay men will hit on all men.

by Anonymousreply 42602/19/2014

Just watched "Men at Work" on TBS. WTF happened to David Krumholtz??!! He actually looks like Judd Hirsch's son from that TV show with Rob Morrow. Maybe he ATE Rob. Anyone remember the name of that show? He was hot back then. Sigh

by Anonymousreply 42702/19/2014

R411, thanks for the tip about the peanuts, I will try it.

by Anonymousreply 42802/20/2014

I'm at a new library today, not just a new branch but a totally different library system. It's not as nice as my home base branch. Think I'll be leaving soon.

by Anonymousreply 42902/20/2014

Had a big breakfast AND a big lunch today.

by Anonymousreply 43002/22/2014

Watching Oliver Twist with Tom Hardy as Sikes.

by Anonymousreply 43102/22/2014

I've become a snot factory. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 43202/23/2014

Which side did you ski, r422? I love your Hot Dad updates.

What I want right now, what I really, really want, are biscuits and (milk) gravy, no sausage. Instead, I'm fixing scrambled eggs with dill and then heading off to clean out the garage.

by Anonymousreply 43302/23/2014

Thanks R426. That's basically what we did. We got there Fri and Sat morning right when the mountain opened. Took a break late morning when it got crowded, skied again when most kids were in for lunch, then called it a day around 3.

No, I didn't try anything with Hot Dad. I'm 100% sure he is straight, with no desire to explore. We were having some beers after skiing Friday, and a woman was hitting on him, hard. When she stepped away, I (half-jokingly) said I could leave them alone if he wanted. He said he's just trying to ignore her, because telling a woman that he's married means they try harder to get in his pants. He made a comment, something about never cheating on his wife and he's not going to start 23 years in, so I don't see myself interfering in that! I did get to see him in his boxer briefs a couple of times, so I'll just have to be happy with my fantasies. And he's not just pretty to look at, he really is a nice guy and fun to hang out with, so I'd be stupid to screw that up.

R433, we skied the bigger mountain, I forget the name of it. But some of the trails were Jolly Green Giant, Upper Chief/ Lower Chief, etc. We had talked about going to the other side on Saturday afternoon, but my legs were kind of shot and Hot Dad said it was more challenging, so I decided to bag it. This was my first time this season, you forget how many different leg muscles you use!

by Anonymousreply 43402/23/2014

My best friend just got in his UHaul and left my city for Brooklyn. I miss my friend.

New York, please be good to him.

by Anonymousreply 43502/24/2014

My nose is red and raw.

by Anonymousreply 43602/24/2014

I found $20 after the freaking snowfall we had on Wednesday.

by Anonymousreply 43702/28/2014

I wish they would cancel alternate side of the street parking already. I don't want to go out and move my car for nothing but if I don't and they don't cancel I'll be in trouble.

by Anonymousreply 43803/02/2014

[quote]Back to work tomorrow. Over 2 months later. This is going to be painful.

Why were you off work that long, ayb? I hope your return wasn't too painful.

by Anonymousreply 43903/02/2014

Suspended. YAY

by Anonymousreply 44003/02/2014

Smart move, R434. You could end up being able to have more outings. It makes a nice inexpensive weekend.

R403, what about shrimp scampi? Mine has grated parmesan.

R427, that show was Numbers. I didn't even realize Krumholtz was on Men at Work.

by Anonymousreply 44103/02/2014

R439, I left one job and then it took a little while. But I had money. This job is just a temp one I took to stop myself going mad. In my field but below my skill set. It's starting to grate. two more weeks and a bit, and I'm done.

I was knackered that first week and am still pretty fatigued now but it's not the routine (used to that now), it's boredom.

by Anonymousreply 44203/05/2014

I watched Survivor last night. If you add some touches of grey to his hair, the guy named LJ reminds me of my obsession, Hot Dad. Big and handsome.

by Anonymousreply 44303/06/2014

Is anyone following the Oma Hamou saga? It's more surreal than anything Dominick Dunne would write about. Looks like she may be headed back to the slammer.

by Anonymousreply 44403/06/2014

It's my birthday, bitches! I'm older than God. But I adopted a cat from the shelter today so it's not all bad.

by Anonymousreply 44503/08/2014

Happy birthday, anonymous!

by Anonymousreply 44603/08/2014

Happy birthday R445 and thanks for adopting kitty

by Anonymousreply 44703/08/2014

Welcome home, r445's kitty. Happy Birthday, r445.

by Anonymousreply 44803/08/2014

Happy birthday, R445! I hope you and the new kitty get to snuggle together after a happy day.

by Anonymousreply 44903/08/2014

Thanks, guys! She's snuggled up right now, she seems to feel at home already.

by Anonymousreply 45003/08/2014

I found a typo on page 500 of Helter Skelter last night.

And this is the new edition, updated with new news about The Family.

Its in the last paragraph on the page, if you have the book handy. How could this happen, after all of these years?

by Anonymousreply 45103/09/2014

I ate too much yesterday. Now I feel like I should just eat fruit and drink water all today, but I'm already getting an urge for a sandwich. I eat better/healthier during the week than I do on the weekends. Maybe I have too much time on my hand on weekends.

by Anonymousreply 45203/09/2014

R445, Happy late birthday to a fellow Pisces. Mine is this Wednesday. And congrats to adopting your kitty. He'll be grateful to you every day for the rest of his life.

by Anonymousreply 45303/09/2014

I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I'll sleep in and, later, watch a film during the afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 45403/09/2014

I have so much work to do, I don't know where to start.

I woke up in the middle of an intense work-related dream where people from my past showed up and disrupted my schedule.

So I'm stressing out in my sleep, too.

by Anonymousreply 45503/10/2014

Last night I was reading that DL thread about Karen Lynn Gorney. Then I smoked some weed and all I could think about was Julie Bovasso, her name, her face, her acting career.

by Anonymousreply 45603/14/2014

A conversation in the gym locker room the other night was what guys were doing for Lent. One guy said he was trying to give up swearing. He turns to Hot Dad and asks if he's ever tried to quit swearing, and Hot Dad says that he doesn't swear, except for an occasional "God damn". (I never realized it, but once he said that it occurred to me that he doesn't swear.) Another guy turns to Hot Dad and says he doesn't get it, what do you say during sex if you're not saying "fuck" or "shit"? Hot Dad makes a joke of it and says I usually ask "what's your name again?"

After, Hot Dad and I were walking to our cars and he asks me if most guys I'm with just swear during sex. I told him in my experience, it's probably 75% of what a lot of guys say. So I ask, seriously, what does he say during sex. He's a little embarrassed, but says he does a lot of complimenting his wife's body, and asks her if what he's doing feels good. And sometimes he'll say "God damn, this feels awesome!" So then I ask what his wife says, and he says with a wink "can we do that again?"

Fuck, I bet he's a great lover.

by Anonymousreply 45703/15/2014

How is the new kitty, birthday person?

Tried to watch Hannibal last night but fell asleep. Why do they dress handsome Mads Mikkelsen so badly?

by Anonymousreply 45803/15/2014

I'm taking a really boring online course right now, this moment. Is there any interesting news today?

by Anonymousreply 45903/15/2014

YES!!!

[quote]BREAKING NEWS

At 3:30 p.m. on March 13, 2014, noted Hollywood model, actress, and film producer Oma Hamou was arrested on multiple charges.

Under the alias of Alexandra McConnell, she was picked up after having fled the Michael D. Antonovich Antelope Valley Courthouse where she was awaiting a hearing on a probation violation earlier in the day. Her apparent reason for fleeing the site of the hearing was that her attorney had just notified her of an arrest warrant issued the day before on six new charges.

Ms. Hamou / McConnell was transferred shortly after midnight on March 14 to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood where she is being held on $101,000 bail.

Her friends, well-wishers, and the many law enforcement officers who have believed in Oma Hamou and her journey to stardom have been placing cards and flowers at the gate of the detention facility since shortly after dawn yesterday.

Oddly, though, several dozen dogs seemed to have gathered at the gate to piss on the well wishers' tokens of admiration. [/quote]

by Anonymousreply 46003/15/2014

Not what I was expecting for [italic] news.

by Anonymousreply 46103/16/2014

Not what I was thinking for [italic] news, but ok, I asked.

by Anonymousreply 46203/16/2014

It must be a terrible blow for her after she took out that full page Variety cover ad for her starring role in the self produced film as Empress of Russia. And even put the Korean flag on it hoping they would help sponsor it.

by Anonymousreply 46303/16/2014

[quote] "My best friend is terribly, terribly depressed. I'm scared to death he's going to kill himself."

Never mind.

by Anonymousreply 46403/16/2014

ER II meets VC hunk-a-hunka

by Anonymousreply 46503/16/2014

[/i]Now let's see if we can stop the italics

by Anonymousreply 46603/16/2014

[/italic]and again

by Anonymousreply 46703/16/2014

[italic]little buggers[/italic]

by Anonymousreply 46803/16/2014

Solved?

by Anonymousreply 46903/16/2014

[/italic] [quote]Trying a quote to stop it[/quote]

Test.

by Anonymousreply 47003/16/2014

Oma Hamou has been released this morning from incarceration....

by Anonymousreply 47103/16/2014

im drimk

by Anonymousreply 47203/16/2014

I'm not a think as you drimk I am.

by Anonymousreply 47303/17/2014

Two more days til Spring! Of course it's not even 32 degrees this morning here in Morris County, NJ. Might get to the 40s by the afternoon.

I can't wait until it gets warmer. I feel like doing more things when its above freezing.

by Anonymousreply 47403/18/2014

My belt broke a few minutes after I got to my shitty retail job today, and I was wearing pants that fall down easily without it. My boss let me clock out and run home to get a new belt.

I didn't go back. I called 45 minutes later and said I had car trouble and was waiting on AAA. Now I'm drinking a beer and wondering what to watch on Netflix.

by Anonymousreply 47503/21/2014

Yesterday, I had to drive to a client on Long Island to deliver some training.

I left my home at 11:00 AM ET (Winter) and arrived home at 6:45 PM so I came home in Spring.

by Anonymousreply 47603/21/2014

Had lunch at Whole Foods today with a new friend. We like the same kale chips.

by Anonymousreply 47703/22/2014

R458, the new kitty is great, thank you! Very playful and cuddly and interested in everything. Just now she's sitting on the porch with me, enjoying the warm weather.

by Anonymousreply 47803/22/2014

Time off is here again wooooo. Hopefully it won't be as drawn out as last time. A fortnight would be ideal.

by Anonymousreply 47903/24/2014

I got to the gym later than usual tonight, and as I was changing into my workout clothes, Hot Dad emerges from the showers. He pats me on the shoulder as he walks by me (naked, towel in the other hand). He's a few lockers down from me tonight, but no one is between us, so I know I'll get a (naked) show as he goes through his routine. We chat for a bit, I ask him if he watched any opening night baseball, and (still naked) he tells me he had a client in yesterday so had to do a work dinner last night.

I go to take a quick leak, and when I come back to my locker for my iPod, he's standing there (still naked) rolling on deodorant and watching Sports Center highlights. WITH A SEMI HARD COCK. Normally he probably hangs about 3-4 inches soft, thick, with a nice plump cockhead. As I look out of the corner of my eye, his dick is probably an inch longer than usual, and elevated at a 45 degree angle. MOUTHWATERING. I was watching to see if it was still growing, but it didn't appear to be. He was still watching TV, so I almost made a crack about him getting turned on by Sports Center highlights, but there were a couple of other guys in our bank of lockers so I figured that wasn't cool.

He put on his underwear, and I wished him goodnight as I headed to work out. I totally couldn't focus on my workout, I kept flashing back to his gorgeous dick. So instead I came home and rubbed one out in about 90 seconds. Fuck, I should have grabbed my phone and taken a picture. He's so fucking hot.

by Anonymousreply 48004/01/2014

Animal Treason

by Anonymousreply 48104/02/2014

I had no idea "The Machinist" was utter shite.

by Anonymousreply 48204/02/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 49004/04/2014

LOL I'm listening to iheartradio on my laptop at work. An ad comes on for somebody named Dr Federico(?). He's telling people that the reason they are having trouble losing weight is because their hormones are out of balance. It's not you, it's your hormones!

Apparently, today is "Fat Loss Friday." The ad ends by saying, "If you want to get started, CLICK HERE!" Mind you, the ad NEVER mentions a website/website address/phone number.

Really? A radio ad ends with CLICK HERE?! Somebody needs to be fired.

by Anonymousreply 49204/04/2014

I came in to work before 7 am to complete a plan that's due today and I haven't written more than a few sentences.

by Anonymousreply 49304/04/2014

Who are the idiots posting shit that doesn't belong on this thread? Do they have no idea what this thread is about? Have they ever read any of its incarnations? Morons.

by Anonymousreply 49804/06/2014

Sunday anxiety.

by Anonymousreply 50004/06/2014

It's gotta be Rock and Roll music if you wanna dance with me.

by Anonymousreply 50104/09/2014

Yeah, threadjacker FUCK OFF. This thread is meant to light-hearted take your tinhat BULLSHIT somewhere else, you annoying CUNT.

Oh yes, and please everyone F&F the 'political' posts on this thread as I am about to do.

by Anonymousreply 50204/09/2014

I was gonna watch the latest Thor movie which I have rented on Blu-ray from Lovefilm, but then I realised after watching Red Letter Media review the new Captain America film that I actually am coming to hate comic book movies where a bad thing wants to blow things up and a good thing fixes it all... and seeing this same film over and over again with different titles that is not exactly bad, but certainly not what you'd call good either... just mediocre. Just seeing things explode and people shout and thinking 'that was alright, but my expectations were in the toilet to begin with so it probably wasn't that great was it' and hating myself a bit.

Don't get me wrong, it has its place. But that place is not a sober one, it's a place of drinking and disappointment leading to more drinking to the point where you're just numb and it washes over your broken inebriated brain like so much worthless eye candy.

TL;DR version: I'm sick of comic book films.

by Anonymousreply 50304/09/2014

I just washed my windows. Partly, anyway. I'd ask how often y'all wash yours, but I already know a fair number barely wash your sheets, so I won't bother.

by Anonymousreply 50404/09/2014

My neck hurts. I'm thinking about going to bed before 8pm. Rock 'n' roll.

by Anonymousreply 50504/09/2014

Why the FUCK don't people wear sunglasses when driving on a sunny day headed EAST???!!!

I was behind someone this morning on my way to work who apparently had to wait until he could see the back of the car in front of him move into his field of vision before he would step on the gas. Basically, he would leave an 18-wheeler-sized space in front of him.

I was behind him for 3 traffic lights and, because of him, we missed the lights 3 times during our trip.

by Anonymousreply 50604/10/2014

Law & Order: Criminal Intent reruns, string cheese, and PowerAde Zero.

Don't judge me!

by Anonymousreply 50704/18/2014

I'm stuffing myself while watching hospital/ER reality shows from the net.

by Anonymousreply 50804/18/2014

Do I enjoy having fruit flies in my apartment? I must. I keep buying bananas and then letting them go bad. I don't even like bananas that much, yet I have a banana holder and everything. I'm sure this is a metaphor on some deep level for my life. That's IT! I'm crossing bananas off my grocery list. Now, let my new life commence!

by Anonymousreply 51004/19/2014

The three-day weekend just wasn't enough.

by Anonymousreply 51204/21/2014

I don't entirely regret ditching them.

by Anonymousreply 51304/21/2014

Working is overrated.

by Anonymousreply 51404/21/2014

R510, If you replace them with cucumbers I will agree with the symbolism angle.

by Anonymousreply 51504/21/2014

R510, I used to have banana issues, too. Not with fruit flies, but I would only buy one or two because I knew they would go bad before I had the chance to eat them.

But now I buy bunches, and then freeze them in quarters in a ziploc bag. I just pull out two pieces for my smoothies, and also put about 6 pieces in the food processor with a splash of soy milk and vanilla, and maybe a spoonful of chia seeds.

You could swear it is ice cream, but without the guilt.

Banana problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 51604/21/2014

Yumbly! Works great with other fruits, too.

by Anonymousreply 51704/21/2014

Cha, cha, cha, chia !

by Anonymousreply 51804/21/2014

I've let a few cucumbers go bad in my time. No fruit flies tho as they're in the fridge. I like the freezing bananas idea, but I'm going to enjoy my banana-free lifestyle for the present.

by Anonymousreply 51904/22/2014

Picking particles of pad thai out of my teeth. My, that was a toothsome dinner, even if it was leftovers.

by Anonymousreply 52004/22/2014

My boyfriend is a low-down lying little shit, and I should kick him to the curb for a younger model.

by Anonymousreply 52104/23/2014

I just helped a friend out with some volunteer consulting work for his nonprofit. Come to find out in the course of the work that he's a lying sack of shit and that he committed perjury in an important legal certification. I terminated the work, and a friendship of 20 years, not wanting to be involved when the shit hits the fan.

by Anonymousreply 52204/23/2014

R522, you have integrity. It is disappointing how dishonest sone people can so casually be.

by Anonymousreply 52304/24/2014

Watching first season of Orphan Black and loving the hot guys in it.

by Anonymousreply 52404/24/2014

I've a nasty feeling I'm going to end up on the dole again :(

by Anonymousreply 52504/24/2014

Called in sick again today. It's like some part of me wants to sabotage my job at Target, where I work like a dog for $9/hour. As a 40-something year-old man.

I gotta find a way to kick my ass into something better. But where's something better for a man like me, in this current world, without a degree? Hell, even with a degree.

by Anonymousreply 52604/24/2014

My toes look weird.

by Anonymousreply 52704/24/2014

Why, ayb? Didn't you get a new gig recently?

by Anonymousreply 52804/24/2014

I just watched Moonstruck for the first time and fell in love with it.

by Anonymousreply 52904/24/2014

R27, "You're life is going down the toilet! Cover that thing up!"

I love that movie. It's one that I can watch no matter what part I come in on.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to make that "toad in a hole" (toast with egg in the middle) for breakfast tomorrow. Every time I see that part, I want one.

Dermot Mulroney made one the other night on Crisis.

by Anonymousreply 53004/25/2014

When I wake up on a Saturday stressed out about work, it's probably time to move on to my next job... I already am dreading Monday morning!

by Anonymousreply 53104/26/2014

Something stinks. Like burnt rubber ... and cheese.

by Anonymousreply 53204/26/2014

Found out yesterday that I don't totally suck at mini-golf. I don't totally rule either, but my life is all about the middle way these days. I think that sounds better than mediocrity.

by Anonymousreply 53304/26/2014

[all posts by childish idiot removed]

by Anonymousreply 53404/26/2014

Due to a stuffy nose, I was a mouth-breather last night. In all my dreams, my mouth felt horrifically dry, and I downed glass after glass of dream liquid with no relief. Tonight may be a repeat performance. but I've got a gigantor glass of water on the nightstand for when I wake up gasping.

by Anonymousreply 53504/27/2014

Venus was a very bright morning star today.

by Anonymousreply 53604/27/2014

I think I'm taking too much Klonopin lately.

by Anonymousreply 53704/28/2014

R528, alas it was a month's holiday cover only. It wasn't paying well and was far below my skill set so I didn't carry on with it beyond the end date because I mistakenly thought I'd get a new, more suitable, better paid contract reasonably quickly. I have had interviews for stuff (contract and perm), but well, here we are... :(

R534, I can't remember who started the "Underwhelmed" thread tradition but the first few were unexpectedly popular, filled up very quickly and were soon replaced (Probably because OT- I had to google that- stuff was filling up the place with random 'get a blog' shit and annoying people. Seriously if whoever was responsible is reading this, MAJOR KUDOS to you, sir).

It looks like the first one was pre 2010 and lost in the thread cull. So yeah the tradition is 4 years old. This thread was unloved last year probably because the whole of DL slumped but seems to be picking up of late. We're finally getting to the end of it well over a year later.

Here's the link if you want to read underwhelming stuff from times gone by.

by Anonymousreply 53804/29/2014

The juncos went back north at the usual time. I still have a significant number of white throated sparrows.

When I no longer see the white throats, that's when I know that it's going to be warm from that day forward --- as opposed to a warm day here and there, among the overwhelmingly cold, dreary, windy ones.

by Anonymousreply 53904/29/2014

Actually, ayb, I believe the "Underwhelmed" threads go back to 2004, most likely to 2003, and probably to 2002 or so.

JohnEric was a frequent poster, and so was Price if I remember correctly (he was still in NE at the time). There was a straight woman who called herself IFJ (short for Indian Food Junkie), who would post about her favorite Indian buffets. There was also a B-school student who would post from school. A fair amount of authenticateds (whom I won't name lest a flame war commences), and many anonymous folks who posted over the course of tens of threads.

by Anonymousreply 54004/29/2014

Instead of going out last weekend and enjoying the nice mild spring weather, I stayed indoors and watched a bunch of old English horror movies.

by Anonymousreply 54104/29/2014

Very grim news out of Oklahoma tonight.

by Anonymousreply 54204/29/2014

R542, karma is a bitch

by Anonymousreply 54304/29/2014

I'd really like to know, once and for all, just what 'potted meat food' is.

by Anonymousreply 54405/01/2014

Do we even know if the guy was guilty? I doubt it. A black man in Oklahoma...not a good idea.

by Anonymousreply 54505/01/2014

Re: Oklahoma. That has to be one of the most ironic headlines I've read in some time.

And in other underwhelming news, I've just seen an ad. for a huge clearance sale on books. I have over 100 unread titles gathering dust at home. But I will go and buy more books.

by Anonymousreply 54605/01/2014

Who TF cares if a criminal gets executed? No one cares if Miley lives or dies, but I am supposed to get worked up over a piece of shit dying?

In other news, I feel guilty that I am missing out on the 1,344,232 uses of Coconut Oil.

by Anonymousreply 54705/01/2014

I am watching the Bruins vs. Canadiens game. I hope the Bruins win.

by Anonymousreply 54805/01/2014

Sorry R548. Good game, lousy finish for Bruins fans. Didn't they lose their first game in OT in the first round too?

by Anonymousreply 54905/02/2014

Ah, R540. So this latest wave was a revival of an old theme then eh? Intriguing.

Dole interview is next Thursday :(

by Anonymousreply 55005/02/2014

... why do my pajamas kinda reek?

by Anonymousreply 55105/02/2014

I've lived near the ocean all my life and always viewed seagulls as those annoying food grubbers at the beach. But my neighbor of a few years started throwing bread outside in winter and attracted a sea gull into her yard (we're 6 miles from the ocean). Now I get to see seagull mating spring behavior and it's actually amazing.

The gulls vocalize quite a bit, making a gutteral laughing sound. A few will gather on the neighbor' s rooftop and begin their flight to impress the female. It's quite beautiful. When you're at a beach, you're used to seeing gulls flying low over the water and then high in the air. But it's really cool to watch these acrobats in you're back yard. I love it when they dip down to just above the grass while turning in flight. It's like seeing a private air ballet.

by Anonymousreply 55205/02/2014

So I'm on YT getting some Jan Terri (Losing You, Get Down Goblin) groove on when I spotted this chick in the queue.

by Anonymousreply 55305/03/2014

I hear a Baltimore oriole! Yep, it's May. Some years they show up after my pear tree flowers, but this year they made it right on time.

by Anonymousreply 55405/07/2014

My nostrils are fairly densely packed with stalagtites and stalagmites. If I extract them while driving, no one will see me, right?

by Anonymousreply 55505/07/2014

God bless you R553. I have been stuck on the Stairway to Stardom ever since I found your link.

And now, two brassy Jewish frauen sing of the joys of future OBESITY!!!

by Anonymousreply 55605/07/2014

Tomorrow is Day #11 of my 30 Day Shred--the Jillian Michaels workout DVD.

Level 2 has been a real bitch, so I'm looking forward to starting Level 3 on Sunday or Monday.

I plan to look quite fit and sassy when my beach vacation starts 17 days from now.

by Anonymousreply 55705/07/2014

Yes, yes ayb. There are 89 of Stairway to Stardom show clips to browse through.

BTW, I'm still on a Jan Terri kick. This verse of Get Down Goblin has been an earworm for the past two weeks. "Who's that knocking on my door? Quote the raven; never more. Who’s that knocking on my door? Quote the raven; never more.

by Anonymousreply 55805/07/2014

Tease-a-Louise!

by Anonymousreply 55905/07/2014

Good luck ayb at R550. Hope it's over soon!

by Anonymousreply 56005/07/2014

I called in sick to work today to stay home and play with my pussy.

She is on my lap and purring up a storm.

by Anonymousreply 56105/09/2014

I went to a Kentucky Derby with Hot Dad and his wife last week; it marks one year since we struck up a friendship, as we officially introduced ourselves at last year's party. I mentioned to him that I haven't seen him at the gym in several weeks, meanwhile I'm praying he hasn't switched gyms. But he had been doing some campus tours with his daughter and working overtime, so hasn't had much time to work out.

Anyway, finally saw him back this week and his usual habit of strolling to and from the showers wearing just flip-flops and a wedding ring. At the locker next to him is a new guy that's been coming to the gym for a few weeks, Scott. From the neck-up Scott looks like a surfer, blond hair, a little longer than the average guy. From the neck-down, Scott looks like a football player; big and muscular, but kind of soft and not defined. I'm guessing he's mid-30s.

Now granted, I've only seen Scott in the locker room a few times. He isn't a towel dancer, but he was always pretty quick to dress, giving just a 5 or 10 second glimpse of his ass (nice round ass, though) and never really socializing. But with Hot Dad doing his thing naked (drying off, packing up his clothes, applying deodorant, etc), Scott was hanging out naked too and making small talk. I got a few minutes to watch the two of them side-by-side. My favorite part of the night: Hot Dad finishing his water, absent-mindedly running his fingers up and down his six-pack while chatting with Scott about their favorite golf courses. So it looked to me like Scott was trying to flirt a little with Hot Dad, but he'll soon learn that Hot Dad is just old school when it comes to locker room habits. But I'm not complaining if I can get some repeat viewings of those two nude men!

by Anonymousreply 56205/10/2014

I'm so depressed today that not even Datalounge can cheer me up. FUCK.

by Anonymousreply 56305/11/2014

I can't believe the deals I have been missing out on because I didn't have a free customer card at my grocery store.

Today: buy 1 pack of chicken breasts and get 2 free!

It's crazy!

by Anonymousreply 56405/11/2014

You know that feeling you get when you chew four Klonpin and take a cylcobenzabrine? That's the feeling I'm experiencing right now and I don't ever want it to end. I've done a ton of things on my to do list, and my back no longer hurts. Anyone who wants to come over and chill is welcome to do so.

by Anonymousreply 56505/12/2014

For r564:

"It's carpets! It's madness! It's carpet madness!"

by Anonymousreply 56605/12/2014

Just drank a glass of white wine. Think I'll have another one.

by Anonymousreply 56705/12/2014

What the hell? Might as well make it five -- I don't have to work tomorrow.

by Anonymousreply 56805/12/2014

Monday, and today I have a huge form to fill in to get my council tax deferred during unemployment, and the student loans company to call to get the same for my repayments.

This is why I hate being unemployed; it's not the indignity of it so much as all the paperwork involved.

by Anonymousreply 56905/12/2014

It's super hot today but I am refusing to turn on the AC until June. I like to have a few months every year with low gas and electric bills, but I might have to cave if this continues..

I made "Buffalo Cauliflower" last night and just ate some of the leftovers, cold, dipped in honey mustard, while I watched the video of Solange trying to beat up Jay Z in the elevator (see TMZ for details).

Good food. Good entertainment.

by Anonymousreply 57005/12/2014

This afternoon, I pulled in to the driveway and turned off my car. I sat for seventeen minutes (looked at the clock when I got out). Just sat. I considered backing out and just going somewhere on the other side of the country. I wanted to do something without a plan. I woke myself up, picked up my groceries and walked inside, put everything away and ate a spear of dried papaya.

by Anonymousreply 57105/14/2014

I picked my teeth and felt sad. Then I played with myself rather absently. Why?

by Anonymousreply 57205/14/2014

Do it, R571. Over the weekend, I was thinking about getting away and instead of over-thinking everything, I got on-line and made reservations for five days at the beach for Memorial Day weekend. It wasn't quite spontaneous, but for me, it was quite a leap. Now I'm excited and I have something to look forward to.

by Anonymousreply 57305/14/2014

That sounds fun - go, you!

by Anonymousreply 57405/16/2014

I use VRBO to find rentals where I can bring my dog.

I am headed out tomorrow for a weeks' vacation at a Florida beach and couldn't be happier. I've been cooking healthy food to pack in the cooler so I don't feel bad about the inevitable heaps of fried food and beer I will probably consume.

I used the "summer reading" thread here on the DL (now closed) and found four great books that I have checked out at the library.

I will walk on the beach, read, and smoke copious amounts of pot.

I wish tomorrow was here already. My dog, of course, is very concerned when she saw me bring the cooler in from the garage, and will probably lose her shit when she sees the suitcase later today.

What, does she think I'm going to leave her here? Hell no.

by Anonymousreply 57505/16/2014

There's a guy downstairs kicking a ball around and I want to have sex with him. it saddens me that I won't.

by Anonymousreply 57605/16/2014

Burnt Offerings is on the late show!

by Anonymousreply 57705/17/2014

King Kong is on the late show! The '76 version with the petro-critique (and the gorgeous Jessica Lange).

Am I the only one watching the late show these days? Does everyone else have a social life?

by Anonymousreply 57805/18/2014

I freaking love Burnt Offerings, the movie and the book it was based on.

by Anonymousreply 57905/18/2014

I'm up late digitizing some of my CD collection, doing laundry, drinking americanos, yanking crap off my bookshelves, and trying to finalize what I'm going to donate to the transitional housing program tomorrow. And, just to make things interesting, I'm chewing some Klonopin and making sure that my cat agrees with all of my choices.

Also, I feel like buying a singer/songwriter album. Anyone have a suggestion?

by Anonymousreply 58005/21/2014

I miss the honky tonks Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens.

by Anonymousreply 58106/01/2014

Marilyn and Royce, never forget :)

by Anonymousreply 58206/02/2014

Here is some CB radio lingo once used by truckers along with examples of usage.

Meat Wagon - Ambulance

"Meat wagon rolling South at the 22"

Smokey Bear - Officer of the Law

"Smokey bear rolling North at the 50"

At the 50 means 50 mile marker. Could be any mile marker number.

10-20: Where are you located

"What's your 20"

Pickle Park: Rest Area

"Smokey bear in the Pickle Park"

On Your Donkey - On your bumper

"You got a meat wagon on your donkey"

City Kitty - Police

"City Kitty up there taking your picture"

10-4 - Affirmative

"Yeah 10-4"

Taking your picture - Shooting Radar

"They are taking your picture up at the 240 mile marker"

Driving Award - Speeding ticket

"You are going to get a driving award driving like that"

CB Rambo - Clown on the radio talking big usually starting drama with any and every body.

"Looks like we got a CB Rambo in the parking lot tonight"

by Anonymousreply 58306/02/2014

I keep waking up in the middle of the night. Have taken klonopin and waiting for it to kick in. Fuck insomnia.

by Anonymousreply 58406/03/2014

I'm already on my third cup of coffee.

by Anonymousreply 58506/03/2014

Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner Fischerspooner

by Anonymousreply 58606/08/2014

Huh. So that's what Fischerspooner sounds like.

Dreadful.

by Anonymousreply 58706/08/2014

A couple of tokes puts me right back to sleep, R584 - no wait and it's worn off by the time I wake up in the morning.

by Anonymousreply 58806/08/2014

I'm enjoying the bounties of my Memorial Day trip to Maine. For breakfast, I made French toast with apple cinnamon bread from When Pigs Fly bakery drizzled with just a bit of Maple Dulce de Leche from Stonewall Kitchen. Absolute heaven.

by Anonymousreply 58906/08/2014

Thanks for the tip, R588! We just got medicinal marijuana in my state, maybe I should check it out. And pot has always made me sleepy as hell.

As an aside, I just realized I've been on DL for 10 years now. I know I'm still a newbie to some, but this has been one of my longer-lasting relationships, and I'm so grateful for it. I love you bitches!

by Anonymousreply 59006/09/2014

Here's a math question:

Q: You have three friends and 11 pills of 20 mg Klonopin. How do you divide the pills so that the four of you each receive the same amount of narcotic?

A: You now have zero friends and 11 pills of 20 mg Klonopin. Place bodies at non-discreet intervals in the LA River basin.

by Anonymousreply 59106/09/2014

Dole ends, work starts. Back on the treadmill, very soon. I'm grateful to be able to be a functioning consumer again in due course.

I like clothes. I don't pay loads, I TK Maxx. But I do like clothes.

by Anonymousreply 59206/10/2014

I think I'll just crawl into a hole and pull it over me. Today at the hospital we were discussing parents that hurt their children to gain attention. I called it Munchkin's.

by Anonymousreply 59306/17/2014

[all posts by racist flame-bait shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 59406/18/2014

True or false: Magneto is a thousand times more interesting than Professor Xavier.

by Anonymousreply 59506/18/2014

The new thread is here

by Anonymousreply 59606/24/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 59706/24/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 59806/24/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 59906/24/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 60006/24/2014

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

by Anonymousreply 60106/24/2014
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