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Are promiscuous people generally mean?

Betty White once said of playing Sue Ann Nivens, "Of course, I loved Sue Ann. She was so rotten. You can’t get much more rotten than the neighborhood nymphomaniac." It is true that most of the more promiscuous women I've known in my life have been hard types: cynical, competitive, and sometimes downright mean (particularly toward other women).

Is the same thing true for gay men?

by Anonymousreply 9008/04/2014

Not mean, just very self-centered.

by Anonymousreply 102/17/2013

I think R1 is correct. Promiscuous people are good at justifying things to themselves, so they'll find it just as easy to justify doing hurtful things to others.

by Anonymousreply 402/17/2013

Maybe not mean, but I find the term "predatory" apt. Maybe they are not Miss Congeniality, but they will cut a bitch to get at some dick.

by Anonymousreply 502/17/2013

Sue Ann was rotten irregardless of her being a slut. Betty wasn't saying she was rotten because she was a slut.

by Anonymousreply 702/17/2013

Actually, rereading it, I guess she was saying the neighborhood nymphomaniac (promiscuous people in general) are rotten. Oh well, stupid quote.

by Anonymousreply 802/17/2013


by Anonymousreply 1002/17/2013

Well, the OP can now rest easy knowing he clearly touched a huge nerve with r9.

by Anonymousreply 1102/17/2013

Promiscuous people, by definition, are comfortable with using people. Even if it's mutual, it's still "using" people. That's not a very nice person to be around.

by Anonymousreply 1202/17/2013

I am kind of a slut, but nice as can be. Not sure what's wrong with the bitches you people know.

by Anonymousreply 1302/17/2013

"OP, you sound like you need affirmation of your approach to life and/or sexuality and may feel the need to denigrate those with another approach."


by Anonymousreply 1502/17/2013

They generally display a lack of emotional depth, which can translate into 'mean' behavior (ranging from thoughtless to cruel), OP.

by Anonymousreply 1602/17/2013

They're users but seldom users in control. So I wouldn't call them mean at heart (or where it's supposed to be) but meanness could easily be part of their emotional reaction to what drives them.

by Anonymousreply 1702/17/2013

My bf is a slut and a very nice guy. Very popular at parties.

by Anonymousreply 1802/17/2013

I'd say promiscuous gay men are self-involved and almost monomaniacal. If you are not on their current sexual radar, you simply don't exist.

by Anonymousreply 1902/17/2013

[quote][R11], [R9] here. If you read my post I was clear that I was never promiscuous.

And if you read [italic]my[/italic] post, I never once said that you were promiscuous: I didn't offer explanations as to why you were being so defensive and tetchy toward the OP, only noted that you were.

by Anonymousreply 2002/18/2013

I don't know about promiscuous people, but R9 is clearly a judgmental cunt.

by Anonymousreply 2102/18/2013

Among other signs, promiscuity can indicate sociopathy/psychopathy

by Anonymousreply 2202/18/2013

yes OP

by Anonymousreply 2307/19/2014

[quote]Are promiscuous people generally mean?

Yes. They're usually people who are trying to fill up their empty souls with any kind of pleasure and will do anything and use anyone to make themselves temporarily happy.

by Anonymousreply 2407/19/2014

You know how bitchy fags can be.

by Anonymousreply 2607/19/2014

I am living proof of the direct link between being a Mean Girl and a call girl.

by Anonymousreply 2707/19/2014

What a fucking stupid question.

by Anonymousreply 2907/19/2014

Yes, all sociopaths are promiscuous, and all promiscuous people are sociopaths: they don't care, they're not capable of caring.

It's all about 'Me, Me, Me, and what and how much it gets Me, no matter what.'

by Anonymousreply 3007/19/2014

[quote]I am the biggest sweetheart in the world. Cross me and I am mean and vindictive and I don't get over it.

You are NOT a "sweetheart," then. You are a closet asshole with rage issues.

by Anonymousreply 3107/19/2014

Sorry, you don't get tons of dick by being mean.

by Anonymousreply 3307/19/2014

one of my best friends in hs was highly promiscuous and she didn't have a mean bone in her body. Nice as pie to everyone. That was her problem - she was too nice, she never said no to anyone and that included half the guys who asked her for a quickie.

She never wanted to disappoint anyone or be unpopular, and suffered for it.

by Anonymousreply 3407/19/2014

They often have no regard for other people and other people's feelings. That's rude and sometimes mean and always self-centered.

by Anonymousreply 3507/19/2014

r34 Was her name Ado Annie Carnes?

by Anonymousreply 3707/19/2014

I've always liked slutty, fun girls. Boys too. They're not the best friends of course but they're fun to go out with.

by Anonymousreply 3807/19/2014

I believe R36 is describing what visionary/kook Wilhelm Reich called "The Emotional Plague":

by Anonymousreply 3907/19/2014

They are a lot of fun.

by Anonymousreply 4007/19/2014

[quote]My bf is a slut and a very nice guy. Very popular at parties.

No doubt.

by Anonymousreply 4207/19/2014

Interesting, r39.

by Anonymousreply 4307/19/2014

If anything, I'm TOO nice.

by Anonymousreply 4407/19/2014

R14, you've certainly proven that promiscuous people are narcissists!

by Anonymousreply 4507/19/2014

Yes. Especially if they are women. Dated one for a year. Broke up with her two months ago. She's already got a new g/f and is making sure I know. Glad to be rid of her.

by Anonymousreply 4707/19/2014

I never get people like r49, who thinks people only fit into two categories: sluts or uptight prudes. Most people are somewhere between the two.

by Anonymousreply 5107/19/2014

There might be something to this theory . I was a HORRIBLE slut and a very snarky and bitchy person . I had zero interest in anyone I wasn't going to sleep with . But don't blame me,I was very good looking in a shallow and superficial gay world . Then I got old,and the worm turned !

by Anonymousreply 5307/19/2014

I don't see a reliable correlation among gay men. There are kind generous guys who have a lot of sex, and there are mean nasty guys who have a lot of sex. Same goes for the asexuals.

by Anonymousreply 5507/19/2014

I tend to agree with R55. I think sex drives (and the ability to get partners) varies among people, due to personality or inborn drive differences, availability, your looks and your likeability, etc.

It's less true now, but in the past, it probably took an eccentric type, especially if the person was female, to be promiscuous (other than for money.) It was certainly bucking tradition and societal expectations.

I can see that psychopaths might use sex to get what they want, just like they'd use people in any other way they could manage to, but I'm not sure it's a causal type thing - they're just users, in general, and not capable of having an honest, loyal relationship with anyone anyway.

But I think you could like sex a lot, and with a lot of people, and still not be antisocial and still be capable of a deeper relationship.

by Anonymousreply 5607/19/2014

I know I'm a terrible person but if someone is not on my sexual radar they might as well not exist.

Then there's the fact that I am not on the sexual radar of anyone who is on mine.

And there you are.

by Anonymousreply 5707/19/2014

[quote]Did I say I was a slut? I haven't had sex in two weeks.

Then why do you speak at r49 that there are only 2 alternatives?

by Anonymousreply 5807/19/2014

The sluts I've known have been the nicest people. That's how they get laid so often.

Of course on this board people who get laid twice a year are considered sluts.

by Anonymousreply 6007/19/2014

There's a difference (for me) between promiscuous and sluts / sex addicts.

Going home with a few guys a month from the bar - promiscuous, but OK in my book.

Hanging our at a bath house, hooking up via Grindr several times a week, etc. - sex addict and damaged goods.

by Anonymousreply 6107/19/2014

I'm not hostile nor promiscuous, but R15 needs to quit misusing the term IRONY. It makes me feels slutty and mean.

by Anonymousreply 6207/19/2014

I'm so excited Alanis is posting on DL

by Anonymousreply 6307/19/2014

You all seem to confuse rhetorical irony with dramatic or cosmic irony.

by Anonymousreply 6407/19/2014

Are mean people generally promiscuous?

by Anonymousreply 6507/20/2014

Plenty of alcohol is proven to be a stupendous mood enhancer. GRRRRR.........

by Anonymousreply 6607/20/2014

Back in my prime, I was a fabulous whore with no limits whatsoever. Once while I was leaving the baths, someone whispered something about "marathon man," and since he was kind of hot (breathing and awake,) I considered sticking around for one more. I still think of that guy often.

Also, I was and am the nicest person ever.

by Anonymousreply 6707/20/2014

mean people don't get laid a lot.

by Anonymousreply 6807/20/2014

Yes they do. Because they are usually VERY good at pretending to be nice. The mean side usually only comes out when someone tells them no.

by Anonymousreply 6907/20/2014

I have had straight acquaintances, of whom are promiscuous, and what I've noticed is that they are usually jaded or they think everyone is out to get "them."

I don't think it is because of them being quite promiscuous that causes them to be mean - it is the opposite, that no one would want to spend time with them outside of the bedroom because they are insufferable. The only kind of human contact they can have is through sex, nor would they want to because they are narcissists. Only their feelings count in the grand scheme of things. And they feel validated and empowered when someone wants them - but obviously casts them aside because they know internally on some level that person wouldn't want them afterwards. They beat them to the punch. They are jaded.

by Anonymousreply 7007/20/2014

I do think some people aren't wired to be nice, and in reality cannot handle intimacy or true affection - they can only handle sex on certain levels.

A good person to discuss as this is Sean Zveran. That guy is jaded and mean. I can't fault him if he grew up to be that way.

by Anonymousreply 7207/20/2014


HOW can someone be jealous? There is nothing in context to be jealous of. This is a general question posed...which seems to bother you more than others on this board. YOU might want to leave and find other material that is more agreeable to you.

by Anonymousreply 7407/20/2014

R46 & R47

Reread: I've noticed is that they are usually jaded or they think everyone is out to get "them."

You just proven my point without even realizing it.

by Anonymousreply 7507/20/2014

Have you ever introduced yourselves and shook hands after a fabulous session of sex? It's a lovely way to get acquainted. Not the same as it used to be now that we've all stopped smoking.

by Anonymousreply 7807/21/2014

Shaking hands AFTER sex. Now there's conversation-starter!

by Anonymousreply 7907/21/2014

By your definition, R80.

by Anonymousreply 8107/22/2014

Weird question OP

by Anonymousreply 8208/01/2014

hurt people hurt people.

by Anonymousreply 8308/02/2014

r72, was it nice to name someone specifically like that, dude?

by Anonymousreply 8408/02/2014


by Anonymousreply 8508/02/2014

So true, R83.

by Anonymousreply 8608/02/2014

"Sue Ann, did you decorate your bedroom yourself, or did you have to bring in a sex maniac?"

by Anonymousreply 8708/02/2014

I didn't think Sue Ann was "so rotten." She just seemed very needy to me. She was always being treated badly. Remember how her boyfriend made a blatant pass at Mary? Remember how she and Mary were at some kind of convention together and she arranged a double date for her and Mary with two obnoxious men? The men totally ignored her and focused all her attention on Mary. And remember how Mr. Grant was always turning her down? I always thought Sue Ann Nivens was sad, not rotten.

by Anonymousreply 8808/02/2014

Betty White, a dishonest lesbian in a phony marriage, has the nerve to call women who enjoy sex names?

Cunt. No wonder people lined up to shit in her dressing room.

by Anonymousreply 8908/02/2014

Betty White is just a garden-variety Hollywood narcissist. Maybe Lesbian but more likely asexual, like most narcissists. She's in love with herself and nobody else exists. Bea had her nailed (probably not literally)

by Anonymousreply 9008/04/2014
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