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Are promiscuous people generally mean?

Betty White once said of playing Sue Ann Nivens, "Of course, I loved Sue Ann. She was so rotten. You can’t get much more rotten than the neighborhood nymphomaniac." It is true that most of the more promiscuous women I've known in my life have been hard types: cynical, competitive, and sometimes downright mean (particularly toward other women).

Is the same thing true for gay men?

by Anonymousreply 9008/04/2014

Not mean, just very self-centered.

by Anonymousreply 102/17/2013

I'm kinda slutty. People are always commenting about how chill I am. Truthfully, I'm not kinda slutty. I'm pretty fucking slutty, my nick name is Slameron.

by Anonymousreply 202/17/2013

Most fags are mean. If you didn't know that before, you do now!

by Anonymousreply 302/17/2013

I think R1 is correct. Promiscuous people are good at justifying things to themselves, so they'll find it just as easy to justify doing hurtful things to others.

by Anonymousreply 402/17/2013

Maybe not mean, but I find the term "predatory" apt. Maybe they are not Miss Congeniality, but they will cut a bitch to get at some dick.

by Anonymousreply 502/17/2013

I am the biggest sweetheart in the world. Cross me and I am mean and vindictive and I don't get over it.

by Anonymousreply 602/17/2013

Sue Ann was rotten irregardless of her being a slut. Betty wasn't saying she was rotten because she was a slut.

by Anonymousreply 702/17/2013

Actually, rereading it, I guess she was saying the neighborhood nymphomaniac (promiscuous people in general) are rotten. Oh well, stupid quote.

by Anonymousreply 802/17/2013

I think rather than mean or self-centered they are more likely to be less concerned what others think of them. There are plenty of mean and self-centered people who can't be labeled "promiscuous" - whatever that old fashioned attribution means to most people.

I think they are also more curious and less afraid to explore that curiosity. As an older person I wish I had been more "promiscuous" and less afraid of exploration and convention.

OP, you sound like you need affirmation of your approach to life and/or sexuality and may feel the need to denigrate those with another approach.

by Anonymousreply 902/17/2013


by Anonymousreply 1002/17/2013

Well, the OP can now rest easy knowing he clearly touched a huge nerve with r9.

by Anonymousreply 1102/17/2013

Promiscuous people, by definition, are comfortable with using people. Even if it's mutual, it's still "using" people. That's not a very nice person to be around.

by Anonymousreply 1202/17/2013

I am kind of a slut, but nice as can be. Not sure what's wrong with the bitches you people know.

by Anonymousreply 1302/17/2013

R11, R9 here. If you read my post I was clear that I was never promiscuous. I learned later in life that I had been way too uptight in my younger years because I was adhering to someone else's conventions.

The fact is that the older you get and the more you learn aboout people, you realize that kneejerk reactions to others - especially others unlike yourself - are usually wrong or most certainly incomplete and narrow minded.

Comes a time you stop judging others because they can or are willing to do things you yourself aren't.

Sexuality or sexual mores are rarely measures to judge another person.

by Anonymousreply 1402/17/2013

"OP, you sound like you need affirmation of your approach to life and/or sexuality and may feel the need to denigrate those with another approach."


by Anonymousreply 1502/17/2013

They generally display a lack of emotional depth, which can translate into 'mean' behavior (ranging from thoughtless to cruel), OP.

by Anonymousreply 1602/17/2013

They're users but seldom users in control. So I wouldn't call them mean at heart (or where it's supposed to be) but meanness could easily be part of their emotional reaction to what drives them.

by Anonymousreply 1702/17/2013

My bf is a slut and a very nice guy. Very popular at parties.

by Anonymousreply 1802/17/2013

I'd say promiscuous gay men are self-involved and almost monomaniacal. If you are not on their current sexual radar, you simply don't exist.

by Anonymousreply 1902/17/2013

[quote][R11], [R9] here. If you read my post I was clear that I was never promiscuous.

And if you read [italic]my[/italic] post, I never once said that you were promiscuous: I didn't offer explanations as to why you were being so defensive and tetchy toward the OP, only noted that you were.

by Anonymousreply 2002/17/2013

I don't know about promiscuous people, but R9 is clearly a judgmental cunt.

by Anonymousreply 2102/17/2013

Among other signs, promiscuity can indicate sociopathy/psychopathy

by Anonymousreply 2202/17/2013

yes OP

by Anonymousreply 2307/19/2014

[quote]Are promiscuous people generally mean?

Yes. They're usually people who are trying to fill up their empty souls with any kind of pleasure and will do anything and use anyone to make themselves temporarily happy.

by Anonymousreply 2407/19/2014

I agree 100% with R9/R14.

by Anonymousreply 2507/19/2014

You know how bitchy fags can be.

by Anonymousreply 2607/19/2014

I am living proof of the direct link between being a Mean Girl and a call girl.

by Anonymousreply 2707/19/2014

A lot of people on this thread need to get laid.

by Anonymousreply 2807/19/2014

What a fucking stupid question.

by Anonymousreply 2907/19/2014

Yes, all sociopaths are promiscuous, and all promiscuous people are sociopaths: they don't care, they're not capable of caring.

It's all about 'Me, Me, Me, and what and how much it gets Me, no matter what.'

by Anonymousreply 3007/19/2014

[quote]I am the biggest sweetheart in the world. Cross me and I am mean and vindictive and I don't get over it.

You are NOT a "sweetheart," then. You are a closet asshole with rage issues.

by Anonymousreply 3107/19/2014

[quote]Most fags are mean.

Stop projecting your homophobia onto all gay people.

by Anonymousreply 3207/19/2014

Sorry, you don't get tons of dick by being mean.

by Anonymousreply 3307/19/2014

one of my best friends in hs was highly promiscuous and she didn't have a mean bone in her body. Nice as pie to everyone. That was her problem - she was too nice, she never said no to anyone and that included half the guys who asked her for a quickie.

She never wanted to disappoint anyone or be unpopular, and suffered for it.

by Anonymousreply 3407/19/2014

They often have no regard for other people and other people's feelings. That's rude and sometimes mean and always self-centered.

by Anonymousreply 3507/19/2014

Some slutty people are needy and desperate to please, some slutty people are cheerful and fun, some slutty people are thoughtless users, some slutty people are emotionally blunted, some slutty people have a magnetic charisma, etc. etc. Slutty people aren't all the same.

However, no slutty person I have ever met has been a tenth as mean as the kind of controlling bluenose who wants to stop other people from having sex. Those people allow their righteous fervor to drive them to all sorts of cruelty.

by Anonymousreply 3607/19/2014

r34 Was her name Ado Annie Carnes?

by Anonymousreply 3707/19/2014

I've always liked slutty, fun girls. Boys too. They're not the best friends of course but they're fun to go out with.

by Anonymousreply 3807/19/2014

I believe R36 is describing what visionary/kook Wilhelm Reich called "The Emotional Plague":

by Anonymousreply 3907/19/2014

They are a lot of fun.

by Anonymousreply 4007/19/2014

Often times, hypersexual people have been sexually abused in the past (childhood/teens).

by Anonymousreply 4107/19/2014

[quote]My bf is a slut and a very nice guy. Very popular at parties.

No doubt.

by Anonymousreply 4207/19/2014

Interesting, r39.

by Anonymousreply 4307/19/2014

If anything, I'm TOO nice.

by Anonymousreply 4407/19/2014

R14, you've certainly proven that promiscuous people are narcissists!

by Anonymousreply 4507/19/2014

The word is choosy. They can be with hundreds of people and they only choose the best of the lot.

And face it, you are NOT one of the best or even on the lot.

by Anonymousreply 4607/19/2014

Yes. Especially if they are women. Dated one for a year. Broke up with her two months ago. She's already got a new g/f and is making sure I know. Glad to be rid of her.

by Anonymousreply 4707/19/2014

I'm kind and promiscuous and remain friends with my partners. Right now I'm consecutively banging 6 people.

by Anonymousreply 4807/19/2014

I think people reading this thread need to keep in mind that a lot of DLers never get laid, and are likely resentful of that. Hence: "yes, sluts ARE mean..."

People who get off regularly are probably less mean than the uptight, "pure as the driven snow" types.

by Anonymousreply 4907/19/2014

No, we're not mean.

Now get back on your knees and suck my big, thick cock you fat-ass pussy.

by Anonymousreply 5007/19/2014

I never get people like r49, who thinks people only fit into two categories: sluts or uptight prudes. Most people are somewhere between the two.

by Anonymousreply 5107/19/2014

Did I say I was a slut? I haven't had sex in two weeks.

by Anonymousreply 5207/19/2014

There might be something to this theory . I was a HORRIBLE slut and a very snarky and bitchy person . I had zero interest in anyone I wasn't going to sleep with . But don't blame me,I was very good looking in a shallow and superficial gay world . Then I got old,and the worm turned !

by Anonymousreply 5307/19/2014

Amen, R36. My "slutty" friends are actually the most open minded, nicest, most sociable people I know. They are less afraid to explore their sexuality and desires - always with willing partners. It's the anti-sex naysayers who are the most oppressive and mean spirited.

by Anonymousreply 5407/19/2014

I don't see a reliable correlation among gay men. There are kind generous guys who have a lot of sex, and there are mean nasty guys who have a lot of sex. Same goes for the asexuals.

by Anonymousreply 5507/19/2014

I tend to agree with R55. I think sex drives (and the ability to get partners) varies among people, due to personality or inborn drive differences, availability, your looks and your likeability, etc.

It's less true now, but in the past, it probably took an eccentric type, especially if the person was female, to be promiscuous (other than for money.) It was certainly bucking tradition and societal expectations.

I can see that psychopaths might use sex to get what they want, just like they'd use people in any other way they could manage to, but I'm not sure it's a causal type thing - they're just users, in general, and not capable of having an honest, loyal relationship with anyone anyway.

But I think you could like sex a lot, and with a lot of people, and still not be antisocial and still be capable of a deeper relationship.

by Anonymousreply 5607/19/2014

I know I'm a terrible person but if someone is not on my sexual radar they might as well not exist.

Then there's the fact that I am not on the sexual radar of anyone who is on mine.

And there you are.

by Anonymousreply 5707/19/2014

[quote]Did I say I was a slut? I haven't had sex in two weeks.

Then why do you speak at r49 that there are only 2 alternatives?

by Anonymousreply 5807/19/2014

[quote] Then why do you speak at [R49] that there are only 2 alternatives?

Where in my post did I state that there were only two types of people in this regard? I didn't even use the word slut when describing my own thoughts on the matter. "Getting laid regularly" does not mean someone's a slut (and I don't care/judge someone who IS "slutty" by conventional standards).

by Anonymousreply 5907/19/2014

The sluts I've known have been the nicest people. That's how they get laid so often.

Of course on this board people who get laid twice a year are considered sluts.

by Anonymousreply 6007/19/2014

There's a difference (for me) between promiscuous and sluts / sex addicts.

Going home with a few guys a month from the bar - promiscuous, but OK in my book.

Hanging our at a bath house, hooking up via Grindr several times a week, etc. - sex addict and damaged goods.

by Anonymousreply 6107/19/2014

I'm not hostile nor promiscuous, but R15 needs to quit misusing the term IRONY. It makes me feels slutty and mean.

by Anonymousreply 6207/19/2014

I'm so excited Alanis is posting on DL

by Anonymousreply 6307/19/2014

You all seem to confuse rhetorical irony with dramatic or cosmic irony.

by Anonymousreply 6407/19/2014

Are mean people generally promiscuous?

by Anonymousreply 6507/19/2014

Plenty of alcohol is proven to be a stupendous mood enhancer. GRRRRR.........

by Anonymousreply 6607/19/2014

Back in my prime, I was a fabulous whore with no limits whatsoever. Once while I was leaving the baths, someone whispered something about "marathon man," and since he was kind of hot (breathing and awake,) I considered sticking around for one more. I still think of that guy often.

Also, I was and am the nicest person ever.

by Anonymousreply 6707/19/2014

mean people don't get laid a lot.

by Anonymousreply 6807/19/2014

Yes they do. Because they are usually VERY good at pretending to be nice. The mean side usually only comes out when someone tells them no.

by Anonymousreply 6907/20/2014

I have had straight acquaintances, of whom are promiscuous, and what I've noticed is that they are usually jaded or they think everyone is out to get "them."

I don't think it is because of them being quite promiscuous that causes them to be mean - it is the opposite, that no one would want to spend time with them outside of the bedroom because they are insufferable. The only kind of human contact they can have is through sex, nor would they want to because they are narcissists. Only their feelings count in the grand scheme of things. And they feel validated and empowered when someone wants them - but obviously casts them aside because they know internally on some level that person wouldn't want them afterwards. They beat them to the punch. They are jaded.

by Anonymousreply 7007/20/2014

With gays it is a whole another conversation. I don't think we can be considered promiscuous by our peer standards because frankly our biology permits us to have larger quantity of sex(we don't get preggers), and guys are either in the closet, or too interested in sex to care things.

And yes gay men can be mean - but I've met some really nice ones.

by Anonymousreply 7107/20/2014

I do think some people aren't wired to be nice, and in reality cannot handle intimacy or true affection - they can only handle sex on certain levels.

A good person to discuss as this is Sean Zveran. That guy is jaded and mean. I can't fault him if he grew up to be that way.

by Anonymousreply 7207/20/2014


Spot on, all these assholes are jealous.

by Anonymousreply 7307/20/2014


HOW can someone be jealous? There is nothing in context to be jealous of. This is a general question posed...which seems to bother you more than others on this board. YOU might want to leave and find other material that is more agreeable to you.

by Anonymousreply 7407/20/2014

R46 & R47

Reread: I've noticed is that they are usually jaded or they think everyone is out to get "them."

You just proven my point without even realizing it.

by Anonymousreply 7507/20/2014

When I was younger I was fairly promiscuous. I never played around with guys I didn't like, I just liked a lot of guys. Mostly I was driven by curiosity and a sense of fun and just the pure joy of sex. It was great fun, a few decades of immense pleasure.

by Anonymousreply 7607/20/2014

People who are obsessed with sex are rather uninteresting people, really, I think. Dullards. Sex is great but if that is ALL that fuels a person, well, they are missing some brain cells. If I am not "on someone's radar" because they don't want to fuck me, then great. I would not want to fuck or even KNOW such a vapid creature. So, indeed, it all works out. And that kind of person always crashes and burns. Always. If someone has nothing to bring to the table other than sexual attraction, then what a flatline. No charisma, no intelligence, no sense of humor, no passion? YAWN. Younger gay men who use their physical appearance as their "currency" and have nothing else? Time will be cruel to you. BRUTAL, in fact. This is what the gay bar culture was/is like, what so many gay men in their 20's and 30's are like. It is an empty, shallow, unsatisfying vessel that will shipwreck in the blink of an eye. There are always those aging former hotties who troll the bars in their 40's and 50's and beyond. They stand around looking desperate while trying to look aloof, which makes them look even more desperate and pathetic. They never had a personality when they were younger because they never NEEDED one. They relied on their looks. Oh lawdy. They are the ones who ignored anyone who they deemed not in their "class" years ago. The former "10's who only communicated with other 10's." The ones who everyone lusted after and who got rejected, ignored or sometimes worse. And then time marched on. And karma paid a little visit. Happens EVERY TIME.

I think judging someone else doesn't do anything but make a statement about the one judging. Prude or whore, who cares? DO YOUR OWN THING and stay out of other people's business. And you cannot make blanket statements. There is no equivalency between "promiscuity" and "meanness." That gets a big WTF? It's like asking "Do people who like ice cream have compassion?" One has ZERO to do with the other. Some people who are promiscuous might have lower self esteem and are overly nice to people. Ingratiatingly so. Needy. And they sleep around to feel "loved." Some people can be handsome serial killers who are promiscuous but deadly. It is all over the map.

by Anonymousreply 7707/20/2014

Have you ever introduced yourselves and shook hands after a fabulous session of sex? It's a lovely way to get acquainted. Not the same as it used to be now that we've all stopped smoking.

by Anonymousreply 7807/20/2014

Shaking hands AFTER sex. Now there's conversation-starter!

by Anonymousreply 7907/21/2014

Promiscuous people are selfish and do not value people by definition. They tend to be able to detach themselves from normal healthy emotional attachments and commitments. They live the hit and quit em philosophy, a very vacuous lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 8007/21/2014

By your definition, R80.

by Anonymousreply 8107/22/2014

Weird question OP

by Anonymousreply 8208/01/2014

hurt people hurt people.

by Anonymousreply 8308/01/2014

r72, was it nice to name someone specifically like that, dude?

by Anonymousreply 8408/01/2014


by Anonymousreply 8508/02/2014

So true, R83.

by Anonymousreply 8608/02/2014

"Sue Ann, did you decorate your bedroom yourself, or did you have to bring in a sex maniac?"

by Anonymousreply 8708/02/2014

I didn't think Sue Ann was "so rotten." She just seemed very needy to me. She was always being treated badly. Remember how her boyfriend made a blatant pass at Mary? Remember how she and Mary were at some kind of convention together and she arranged a double date for her and Mary with two obnoxious men? The men totally ignored her and focused all her attention on Mary. And remember how Mr. Grant was always turning her down? I always thought Sue Ann Nivens was sad, not rotten.

by Anonymousreply 8808/02/2014

Betty White, a dishonest lesbian in a phony marriage, has the nerve to call women who enjoy sex names?

Cunt. No wonder people lined up to shit in her dressing room.

by Anonymousreply 8908/02/2014

Betty White is just a garden-variety Hollywood narcissist. Maybe Lesbian but more likely asexual, like most narcissists. She's in love with herself and nobody else exists. Bea had her nailed (probably not literally)

by Anonymousreply 9008/04/2014
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