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I was at the sink deveining shrimp when by boyfriend comes up behind me, pulls my shorts down and starts eating my ass

Which leads to other stuff right there on the kitchen floor. Now I'm an hour behind dinner prep and still have to reshower and mop the kitchen floor. And our guests arrive at 7! Oy!

by Anonymousreply 4102/18/2013

My heart bleeds for you OP. My heart bleeds and my dick leaks.

by Anonymousreply 102/17/2013

So late, and yet you have to type this to us with your fish-and-cum fingers.

by Anonymousreply 202/17/2013

Thank God you weren't preparing (and knoshing) on Butterfish. This could have had a tragic outcome.

by Anonymousreply 402/17/2013

Who knew Bobby Flay posts on DL?

by Anonymousreply 502/17/2013

It's delightful. It's delicious. It's deveining.

by Anonymousreply 602/17/2013

This sounds like the next Bounty commercial.

The quicker picker-upper for the eater-outer.

by Anonymousreply 702/17/2013

I'd suggest that you tell your guests all about this -- just before serving them the seafood course.

by Anonymousreply 802/17/2013

What an Extremely Satisfying Tryst!

by Anonymousreply 902/17/2013

You devein your own shrimp?

by Anonymousreply 1002/17/2013

Thank you for deveining the shrimp, OP. My partner's parents make a 'special' shrimp dish every time we visit. They brag about how incredible it is, but they leave the nasty, gritty tasting vein in. They live in small town MN, and are self conscious about it, so I haven't told them that they are essentially serving shrimp shit. I just eat one or two, and fill up on the side dish.

by Anonymousreply 1102/17/2013

Remind not to eat the shrimp.

by Anonymousreply 1302/17/2013

Was your ass clean? Least you could do

by Anonymousreply 1402/17/2013

Write back in 10 years and lets see if the same thing is still going on. Enjoy it while you can.

by Anonymousreply 1502/17/2013

I don't believe you. Send us the pictures.

by Anonymousreply 1602/17/2013

You are a whore, darlin.

by Anonymousreply 1702/17/2013

Ripping shit veins out of shrimp bodies has that effect on a lot of guys.

by Anonymousreply 1802/17/2013

"Six callers ahead of us, Jimmy".

by Anonymousreply 1902/17/2013

Gross.

by Anonymousreply 2002/17/2013

What did you expect, OP? Dinner was hours away and ripe anilingus is an hors d'oeuvre.

by Anonymousreply 2102/17/2013

I'll have the soup.

by Anonymousreply 2202/18/2013

Well, he was either going to get hepatitis from the putrid shrimp or from your shit-laden asshole. So, I guess it was a toss-up.

by Anonymousreply 2302/18/2013

Wow, sounds like a kitchen full of bottom feeders.

by Anonymousreply 2402/18/2013

That is one of the least erotic scenarios ever.

by Anonymousreply 2502/18/2013

I remember when Arthur Treacher once asked me "Would you like some shrimp?"

We were in the wings during one of my Xmas specials just before my first number.

He had just licensed his name to that shitty seafood chain, so I said with comtempt, "I'd rather eat your ass."

He replied,"That's where I put the shrimp."

True story.

by Anonymousreply 2702/18/2013

Get a room!

by Anonymousreply 2802/18/2013

If he's still doing that 5 or 10 years from now THEN I'll be impressed.

by Anonymousreply 2902/18/2013

Now don't scoff at the OP boys...I was mowing the backyard last summer and my boyfriend was just getting out of the shower so when I passed by the open bedroom window I got a good look at his cute,fresh little ass.

Naturally, I had him stick it out the window and jerk himself off while I gave him a very thorough rimming.

A little tacky I admit---but VERY hot and memorable.

And we've been together 10 years.

by Anonymousreply 3002/18/2013

and they wonder why the houses inn this neighborhood won't sell

by Anonymousreply 3102/18/2013

Dear lord in heaven!

by Anonymousreply 3202/18/2013

Did the boyfriend take responsibility for the delay? At the very least he could have mopped the kitchen floor for you.

by Anonymousreply 3302/18/2013

Did he dip the shrimp in your ass and eat it out?

by Anonymousreply 3402/18/2013

This is why you should serve live monkey brains

by Anonymousreply 3502/18/2013

What did your boyfriend eat out of your ass?

by Anonymousreply 3602/18/2013

LOL R19

by Anonymousreply 3702/18/2013

Do you have blue eyes, starred in Knot's Landing and are named William?

by Anonymousreply 3802/18/2013

So, the kitchen smelled like 3 day old pussy AND dirty moist ass.

Did any of your guests pass on the meal?

What did you serve?

by Anonymousreply 3902/18/2013

That's beyond disgusting. I hope none of my friends ever serve shrimp again. If they do after reading this trash, I'll have to pass.

by Anonymousreply 4002/18/2013

The triumphant return of the surprise anal troll!!!

by Anonymousreply 4102/18/2013
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