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Funny things said people whose first language is not English

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On a poster in New York: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Indian maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, former Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

by LOLreply 2002/16/2013

Like you, OP?

by LOLreply 102/15/2013

R1 Wow. You really dont get it, do you?

by LOLreply 202/15/2013

FUN!

by LOLreply 302/15/2013

Funny things said people whose first language is not English

by LOLreply 402/15/2013

This is the sort of thing my mother emails me. In fact, I think she sent me this a few years ago. It is quite humorous though.

by LOLreply 502/15/2013

Funny

by LOLreply 602/15/2013

Seen on Datalounge: IS THIS WHEN THE MAN GOES UP INTO THE MAN?

by LOLreply 702/15/2013

Why are straight me so stupid?

by LOLreply 802/15/2013

Oh, great! Datalounge has turned into Reader's Digest!

by LOLreply 902/15/2013

When I was in high school, my best friend had a foreign exchange student staying at their house. She was a very pretty French girl. I was over for dinner the first week she was there. My friend's mom asked the girl what she thought of the food she had made. The girl joyfully said, "I'm delicious!"

by LOLreply 1002/15/2013

Wow. Flashback to usenet 20 years ago.

by LOLreply 1102/15/2013

Engrish!

by LOLreply 1202/16/2013

R9, you beat me to it.

by LOLreply 1302/16/2013

Not just Readers' Digest, LARGE PRINT READERS' DIGEST.

by LOLreply 1402/16/2013

[post by racist shit-stain # 2 removed.]

by LOLreply 1502/16/2013

R12 - Jesus Christus, what the fuck is THAT?

by LOLreply 1602/16/2013

Sign in China: "Our dresses perfect for street walking."

by LOLreply 1702/16/2013

NYU Medical Center used to have a sign near its lobby elevator saying it was a drug-free workplace.

The pharmacists and post-op patients in pain were glad it was no such thing.

by LOLreply 1802/16/2013

Are you JUST getting around to these, OP? Because this has been floating around the internet since it began.

by LOLreply 1902/16/2013

Samson the Gorilla was a big star for years at the Milwaukee County Zoo. There was a sign on his cage that said "Do Not Tease The Gorilla" He wrote it, but English was not his first language. I admired him for that; thought he did pretty well.

by LOLreply 2002/16/2013
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