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The Vatican should have an annual pageant to choose a Pope

What would be the various categories in the pageant?

Besides "Best Evening Wear".

by Anonymousreply 2202/13/2013

Best Eva Peron balcony scene.

by Anonymousreply 102/11/2013

The Best Accessories category, in memory of Elizabeth Taylor.

by Anonymousreply 202/11/2013

Miss Pope said she has had eNUFF of those old Spanish Catholic ladies and they craziness.

by Anonymousreply 302/11/2013

RuPaul's Drag Race would be the perfect format for picking a new Pope.

by Anonymousreply 402/11/2013

There should be a cardinal from every registered Catholic country and, of course, a Parade of Nations.

They would ride in custom-made pope mobiles from the Vatican, down Via Veneto.

Cardinal Germany wearing a lederhausen robe.

Cardinal Italy gondolier stripes

Cardinal Norway with blond braids under the pope hat, and a shield

Cardinal Cayman Islands donning a huge coral instead of the pope hat, and seashells instead of the robe.

Cardinal Brazil in Carnival-Pope Drag (but with ash on his forehead)

Cardinal USA in a Lady Liberty motif made out of sacrosant robes and hat, and holding - of course - a scepter with incense, and a bible

Cardinal Congo topless but without pagan teeth collars or bones.

Cardinal Argentina in Gauchos

And so on.

by Anonymousreply 502/11/2013

Best Fragrance

by Anonymousreply 602/11/2013

The winner must promise never to work with children.

by Anonymousreply 702/11/2013

How about a behind closed doors contest for best alter boy?

by Anonymousreply 802/11/2013

Best Coverup in a Child Sex Scandal

by Anonymousreply 902/11/2013

Now you've got me imagining colourful Cardinals sashaying down a runway in flowing robes, striking a pose. Sashay, Shantay!

by Anonymousreply 1002/11/2013

I'm thinking something like the Hunger Games - battle to the death in the streets of Rome or and the surviving cardinal wins. And the public gets to vote on which of many "surprises" are sprung on the contestants.

by Anonymousreply 1102/11/2013

The crowning would be a bittersweet emotional ceremony as one pope removes his big conehead and crowns the new pope in tears, white smoke shooting from all sides of the stage, to a roaring audience of faithful followers.

by Anonymousreply 1202/11/2013

Communion wafer Bake-Off.

by Anonymousreply 1302/11/2013

I'm looking forward to the "Parade of Saints" opening number.

by Anonymousreply 1402/11/2013

Maybe have the best looking cardinal wearing a cassock slit open up to the thigh. Europeans traditionally don't wear trousers under them.

by Anonymousreply 1502/11/2013

Vatican's next Pope.

With Tyra Banks as host.

by Anonymousreply 1602/11/2013

One of the friendly competition could be who scores the most alter boys.

by Anonymousreply 1702/11/2013

"Your Amazing gRace."

Prospective popes travel around the world to see how many heathens they can convert. Hosted by Mel Gibson.

by Anonymousreply 1802/11/2013

Fellini:

by Anonymousreply 1902/11/2013

Someone please tell me the name of the film that R19 linked from? Weird, a bit frightening, yet fascinating, I must see this.

by Anonymousreply 2002/11/2013

The title's right there, R20. "Fellini's Roma." Jeez.

by Anonymousreply 2102/11/2013

What would be the crowning and first walk song?

by Anonymousreply 2202/13/2013
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