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How do I stay friends with both members of a couple after they break up?

Two of my closest friends are a couple. I've known them for a little over 5 years, and they were already a couple before we met. I hang out with them together as well as separately, and think very highly of each of them.

Last night I heard about some drama (apparently one of them cheated), and a breakup seems likely.

Should that occur, how do I maintain a friendship with both of them? It's easier said then done not to be involved when I usually see each of them once a week. I don't want to take sides. I don't want to be caught in the middle of passing messages back and forth or reporting to one about the other's behavior.

Is there a way to make this work? Any advice is appreciated.

by Anonymousreply 902/09/2013

Never a happy situation. Pick the one you like best and keep the friendship; be polite cordial and neutral with the other.

by Anonymousreply 102/09/2013

You can't, don't even try.

Then follow R1's advice.

by Anonymousreply 202/09/2013

There is a point, late 30s, early 40s - when people no longer have friends. Just read books and watch DVDs like everyone else on DL.

by Anonymousreply 302/09/2013

If you are honest with yourself, you will acknowledge that you like one of them more. Hang out with him after the breakup.

by Anonymousreply 402/09/2013

The only way I've been able to do it is to tell each of them that you're going to remain friends with the ex as well as them. Tell them you can't be caught up in any middleman drama or you'll have to stop being their friend for awhile.

It works, but not always for a long time. If it stops working because one of them can't stop bitching about the other or tries getting you involved in the post break up mess, you'll have figured out which one is really your friend.

by Anonymousreply 502/09/2013

I don't believe that R3.

by Anonymousreply 602/09/2013

That sounds like really good advice R5

by Anonymousreply 702/09/2013

Ditto R5. Good plan.

by Anonymousreply 802/09/2013

Isn't a little premature to be envisioning all this DRAMA when they haven't even broken up yet?

Passing messages like a Russian spy?

Dramatic declarations about how you CANT DO THIS ANY MORE?

by Anonymousreply 902/09/2013
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