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Cancer Question

I attended the wake of a friend who died of cancer. He'd been in hospice for a few weeks. His skin as dark brown. Is this from chemo or radiation? And if so, shouldn't the funeral home use make up on his face and hands to look natural?

by Anonymousreply 1802/05/2013

Sorry about your friend. I don't know that much but I think chemotherapy can affect the skin color. Re makeup on the face--probably up to the family or next of kin's wishes. Probably they didn't request it.

by Anonymousreply 102/04/2013

A friend died of pancreatic cancer. Despite the best efforts of the mortician, she looked ghastly. Her skin was a grayish brown which appeared almost greenish beneath the skin tone mak up. In cases such as this, it is sometimes kinder to opt for a closed casket.

by Anonymousreply 202/04/2013

Was he black?

by Anonymousreply 302/04/2013


Typical 'mo, more concerned about looks than anything else.

by Anonymousreply 402/04/2013

"Mak up."

From the people who brought you "cak" and "graxy".

by Anonymousreply 502/05/2013

R4 - friendless twat who stays awake nights eating feces.

by Anonymousreply 602/05/2013

Open caskets are horrible.

by Anonymousreply 702/05/2013

OP here. Grayish brown mentioned by r2 was the image. Everyone assumed the mortician would make him look he way we knew him.

by Anonymousreply 802/05/2013

I think open casket is so disrespectful to the deceased. They have no control over how they look and probably don't want people to remember them that way. I always remember (vividly) how people look at open casket (I've only been to about three). It's very disturbing and scary.

by Anonymousreply 902/05/2013

I don't understand the concept of open casket. Why would you want the lasting image of your loved one be that of a corpse?

I choose to remember people when they were alive and vibrant. I don't need to see them in a coffin caked with make-up to say goodbye.

I have been to 3 wakes and 2 open casket funerals. Not out of desire but respect and obligation. One family friend wanted each of us to stand close to her deceased daughter and say something to her.

by Anonymousreply 1002/05/2013

Oh and the mother did her deceased daughter's make-up. Her daughter looked ghoulish. Heavily, heavily made-up.

The daughter died in a single car accident when she lost control. The car plummeted off an overpass and she was ejected. A lot of work had to be done to "fix" her face for the open casket. Her neck was covered and I think some hair extension was used to cover the damage to her temple. She did not look anything like the childhood friend I remembered. Her mother was touching her and fixing her hair the entire time. Her mother was standing there blocking me and encouraging me to say something to her daughter. I was transfixed and stood just staring at the daughter for what felt like an eternity before the mother moved aside and I bolted.

by Anonymousreply 1102/05/2013

Most every funeral I've ever been to has been open casket -- it must be the custom around here, it certainly is with my extended family. I absolutely hate it.

by Anonymousreply 1202/05/2013

Originally open caskets were to assure the correct person was being buried.

Jews and Muslims don't put bodies on display.

by Anonymousreply 1302/05/2013

I'm sorry you lost your friend, it's too bad you have to remember them with that image.

My family lost a four year old child and it was bad enough with the family seeing him, but they had an open casket at the service as well. It was horrific. I was young and tried to avoid seeing him but his Grandmother refused to let people be, marching us up there to say good-bye. I still don't understand it.

by Anonymousreply 1402/05/2013

My God, r14. The grandmother reminds of the mother that I posted about. She did the exact same thing.

by Anonymousreply 1502/05/2013

A classmate of mine died of leukemia in the 1960s. We went to catholic school. He was a very cute boy, but then he was out of school for a while. One day, the nuns told us Georgie was having a birthday party and wanted everyone to come, since he was not going to be coming back to school. It was puzzling why he wasn't coming back.

We went to the party and it was horrible. Georgie was all blown up like a blimp and sitting in a chair. The party was in the basement of the family home and it was dank and cold, made of gray cinder blocks. We just kind of wandered around wondering who was that boy they claimed was Georgie. He just sat in the chair and waved every once in a while but he never talked to us.

A few months later the nuns told us Georgie died and we were going to his Mass today, so line up. We lined up and went to the church. Georgie was there in a coffin. I didn't understand how Georgie could be there if he was dead. We were only 7 years old and we were learning catechism. When you died, God took you up into heaven. So why would Georgie still be here if he was dead? He should be in heaven. Why wasn't he moving, and why did he look blue-ish colored? How come he had a missal in his hand and a communion rosary if he hadn't made his First Communion yet? That wasn't very fair to the rest of us.

Eventually we all started crying. We didn't understand about Georgie being dead, but we knew there was a boy who looked like he was made out of putty in a casket holding things he shouldn't have had and [italic] not moving at all [/italic] and it creeped us out endlessly. When they closed the top of the casket and covered the boy up, we felt much better. They marched the casket out of the church and we went back to school and not a word was said about it by the nuns.

by Anonymousreply 1602/05/2013

Dark skin comes from liver failure.

by Anonymousreply 1702/05/2013

A coffin is plain wood, wide at the shoulders and narrow the feet. You remember them from old cowboy movies. Today people are buried in a casket, which is rectangular and made from expensive wood.

by Anonymousreply 1802/05/2013
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