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My friends are having a "rent" party

One of my closest friends, "Eric", and his BF live in a condo in a very nice neighborhood in the suburbs of Boston. They bought the condo back in late 2009 and got a great price given the general state of the real estate market at that time.

Well, last year, Eric lost his job. His partner is ten years younger and his income is not even half of what Eric's was.

Just a few days ago, I received an email stating that they are throwing a party to raise money to pay for the last two months of their mortgage payments, making it sound like a real sob story. I do emphathize, mind you.

The email promises all sorts of great food and drink (Eric is a great cook)and the chance to win a new DVD player (probably a re-gift from Xmas).

The catch is that everyone has to pay $75.00 to attend.

Now, I am unemployed myself, and I really can't afford to pay $75.00. I can barely pay my own rent. I haven't eaten out or gone to the movies in months.

Now, I just know that Eric's boyfriend is going to THROW A FIT if I do not take part. He's always acted very entitled and he is sort of the "gate-keeper" in the relationship, meaning that he always seems to be the one to decide who's "in" or "out" where their social circle is concerned.

I do not want to jeopardize my friendship with Eric.

What would you do in this situation?

TIA

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10802/06/2013

Please link to one of their facebook pages. This will help me formulate some good advice for you.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 202/04/2013

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 302/04/2013

So, you're saying your friendship with Eric is jeopardized if you don't give them $75? You pay for friends? If you can help then do so in the amount you can afford. If you can't comfortably help, then don't

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 402/04/2013

How rude, they're down to the last two payments on their mortgage and they want to have a party to pay it off. ..that takes some balls.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 502/04/2013

Be honest. Tell Eric (NOT the control-freak boyfriend) that you'd love to come but you can't afford the $ 75.00.

If Eric is too much of a pussy to be bossed around by the boyfriend and you get out for being direct and honest, you haven't lost anything.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 602/04/2013

Tell Eric that you think that's a great idea and if you had the extra $75, you'd love to come but you don't. Just remind him that you're struggling too....

If he's that great of a friend then he should know your situation and sympathize.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 702/04/2013

[quote]the chance to win a new DVD player

Is this party happening in 1996?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 802/04/2013

Fuck off, R1. That ceased to be clever or funny five years ago.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 902/04/2013

A 3 1/2 year mortgage?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1002/04/2013

You could buy 3 DVD players for $75.

Stay home and rent a movie.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1102/04/2013

Actually, I meant their two MOST RECENT payments, not the last two on their mortgage, [R5]. They are behind on their mortgage payments.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1302/04/2013

Are they on Groupon?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1402/04/2013

No you dopes, they've MISSED their last two payments and are not current on their mortgage.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1602/04/2013

Email and explain your situation and make sure Eric as well as the entitled one get it. Offer to help out at the party, be a designated driver, whatever is reasonable.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1702/04/2013

I'm confused. How can the boyfriend act entitled if they're begging money for 2 months of rent and they're soon to be homeless?

Wouldn't it cost more in groceries and drinks and clean up than they would get back in guest money? It's a condo after all, how many people can they possibly fit?

They should have had a BYOB party and told their guests to donate whatever they can afford, and then invite some very wealthy known to be generous guests.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1802/04/2013

Will holes be presented?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 1902/04/2013

If you lose your friendship with Eric over this, then he wasn't your friend to begin with

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2002/04/2013

If you can't afford $75, you should not attend.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2102/04/2013

[quote] I'm confused. How can the boyfriend act entitled if they're begging money for 2 months of rent and they're soon to be homeless?

Queens can act entitled even when they're doing a Fantine and selling their teeth for lube money.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2302/04/2013

OP, my advice is to be courtaeous and kind (don't let any hint of attitude seep out when you speak to your friend), and tell him what you told us in your opening post.

Certainly, of all people, your friend can understand cash flow problems?

When it comes to problems in business situations and with friends, I think it's wise to collect your thoughts and then speak in a neutral tone and be courteous -- this way you won't obsess about how you should have done things differently, and you'll have some about of peace and dignity.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2402/04/2013

2 people, 1 of whom has a job & the other who apparantly had a good job, & they didn't put enough $ in the bank to weather a job loss? And they're asking their friends to pay their mortgage? Embarrassing. Time for Eric to get a job bartending, that pays well.

I'm sorry, but no -- you don't owe them their mortgage. It would be different if someone had a catastrophic illness, but they just lived beyond their means & the older one isn't getting real and taking some job to make his payments.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2502/04/2013

Tell them you have a job interview out of town that day, therefore cannot attend.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2602/04/2013

The boyfriend always feels like the world owes him whatever help he needs, [R18], regardless of whether or not it inconveniences others. He's really a pill, actually.

Regarding the food, I'm sure that they're using whatever is in their extra freezer. Eric is always buying all kinds of extra food whenever it's on sale. Same with liquor.

Oh, and the DVD player is Blu-Ray. Forgot to mention that one.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2702/04/2013

I'm so glad I don't have friends. I couldn't afford to attend their parties.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2802/04/2013

Fixing typos in R24:

"courteous"

and "...some amount of peace and dignity."

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 2902/04/2013

Wait - they're serving thawed food in this party?

Are they good looking enough to be rentboys?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3002/04/2013

I'm guessing, R30 , re: the food. It's not as if they would have the cash to hire caterers, after all.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3102/04/2013

Your friends are terrible people. I'd love to ask everyone I know for cash to help me pay off my debts, but I just don't have the lack of scruples to do something like that.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3202/04/2013

R27

The more you go back and say stuff like,

"I meant to say theyve been late on their last two payments... it's not their last two payments of the mortgate..." and "I mean, it's food from their spare freezer that they've bought on SALE..." and "It's a Blu Ray Player not a DVD Player,"

Makes it all just sound like you're making this shit up.

Oh, you totally are.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3302/04/2013

They're unemployed and about to be homeless. Feel free to treat them like the garbage they are, OP.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3402/04/2013

[quote]Offer to help out at the party, be a designated driver, whatever is reasonable.

R17, you must be desperate for "friends". Just because these idiots decide to do something idiotic does not mean any of their friends have to join in.

OP, if you feel you absolutely must respond just say you can't afford ANY extraneous expenses now. If you make up any other excuse these 2 self-involved twats will ask you to just give them the money anyway.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3502/04/2013

Tell Eric to go fuck Todd!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3602/04/2013

I like friends that want to talk about books, music, the world, life, feelings, and go for walks with you.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3702/04/2013

Are they good looking, or can you at least look at them? Tell them to get a Cam4 account and put the prissy bottom to work.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3802/04/2013

Tell the truth that you are unemployed too and offer to help them set up the party and/or cook (if you know how).

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 3902/04/2013

Other people are supposed to throw rent parties for you.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4002/04/2013

Do these friends have tattoos? If so, you'll be hearing about their money issues for years to come.

Tattoos = poor money management.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4102/04/2013

Wow. I spent 2 years out of work and was down to my last $45 before i got my current job and would never have had the nerve to do something like this.

Most people had no idea what was going on with me.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4202/04/2013

R40 is right. You're not supposed to throw a rent party for yourself. This is like those people who give showers for their relatives.

Just not done.

They need to think about renting the condo out and finding a cheaper apt that the still employed boyfriend can afford. They are in an enviable position. They have a LOT of options but they need to talk to an expert. They can probably refinance and put the missed payments at the end of the new mortgage. And if they need to why can't they use their credit cards for cash withdrawals.

I'd like to know how much their mortgage is and on top what about their condo fees and taxes etc.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4302/04/2013

This must be a NY thing.

Pretentious paupers -- they should move.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4502/04/2013

Will they have another party then in 2 months time to pay for the next mortgage payments - say you will go to that one. Ask if they will be selling off their books and dvds etc, and put in an offer on the items you would like.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4602/04/2013

OP, you should let them know you'll be happy to help out even though you don't have any money.

You should organize a talent show. You can tap, act, dance and sing. Surely, you have friends who play the tuba, xylophone, and french horn.

I'm picturing a rousing tribute to Mickey Rooney - with extra sweat!

Bring a newspaper boy cap! Tweed is very in this year.

Other options: Kissing booth and makeshift glory hole.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4702/04/2013

Which Boston suburb? I'm getting a Framingham vibe.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4802/04/2013

It was a New York thing in the 20s and 30s

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 4902/04/2013

Whatever you do, don't eat the meatloaf that the old lady brings.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5002/04/2013

These people sound like pieces of shit. What does it say about you that you are friends with them and want to remain so?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5102/04/2013

I would pay the entry charge to see Michael Evans shake his ass in tight pants.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5202/04/2013

EST trolls? Enough.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5302/04/2013

"You're not supposed to throw a rent party for yourself. This is like those people who give showers for their relatives.

Just not done."

Really? I've heard of lots of women giving showers for their sisters - I had no idea this was considered to be in bad taste.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5402/04/2013

OP: Throw a "Party" Party. Charge everyone $15 to attend. Only 5 guests, and you'll have enough money to attend your friends' party!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5502/04/2013

Or you can charge them $50 for a sumptuous rubber chicken dinner and require gifts from a list of items from approved designers. Dress code for the ladies!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5602/04/2013

Tell them to have a RentBOY party. They'll make a lot more money.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5702/04/2013

That's what I initially thought this thread was about, r57.

Being the passive aggressive type I'd go through the sunday circulars and cut out $75 bucks worth of coupons.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5802/04/2013

I thought it was a rentboy party too. What's to stop the Alpha Gay whoring out his partner? It has as much class as this creepy part idea. It reminds me of the mother who sent out invitations to the friends of her AIDS dead son (whose contact details she found in his address book) inviting us to BUY his amateur drawings. Some people just have no sense of what's appropriate.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 5902/04/2013

Oh for gawd's sake, you gullible idiots...,

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6002/04/2013

Do they have family they can ask? Do a credit card cash advance, and then pay off the credit card? At least if you default on that you won't lose your home.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6102/04/2013

Your friends are trash, OP. What's going to magically change in 2 months? Why should their financial irresponsibility be rewarded? Tell them to fuck off and go to hell. With friends like those, who needs enemies?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6202/04/2013

Tell them you too are having a rent party but yours is $100 and they owe you $25.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6302/04/2013

I think they should apologize for sending you that invite. If you are out of work, you can't pay their morgage!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6402/04/2013

If you're unemployed, then it's really a no-brainer - tell them you can't contribute. It's nice to think contributing might bring you some good karma, but if your friend doesn't understand your situation and how YOU could use the money, then he's not really a friend. If they didn't think to save money to cushion job loss, then what they should be asking people to do is come help them pack up and move to an affordable place after they put their condo on the market.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6502/04/2013

there is not a word of truth to this imbecilic post.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6602/04/2013

1. Stiff them.

2. Let their house go into foreclosure.

3. Buy it on a short sale.

4. Become their landlords.

5. (Optional) Evict them.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6702/04/2013

Why do you all keep thinking this is real? He's changed the "facts" of this post four times.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6802/04/2013

Will there be a baked potato bar?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 6902/04/2013

I love you, you pay my rent!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7002/04/2013

Eric Sounds Thoughtless

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7102/04/2013

Have them serve creme brulee.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7202/05/2013

vietnamese food sounds just right about now!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7302/05/2013

[quote]Now, I am unemployed myself, and I really can't afford to pay $75.00. I can barely pay my own rent. I haven't eaten out or gone to the movies in months.

I stopped reading after this. You have your own problems and are not obligated to go. Don't feel bad at all about it.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7402/05/2013

OP, I have a full proof answer for these selfish bastards

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7502/05/2013

Is there going to be creme brûlée? I love creme brûlée. If there is, then I'm willing to fork out $75.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7602/05/2013

Tell your friends to have a "Kiki" instead. They can easily raise the money with a Kiki.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7702/05/2013

Never associate with the underclasses

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7802/05/2013

Tell them to amscray romfay eirthay doconay, ontopray!

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 7902/05/2013

I was just thinking about that woman today, R55 and R56. I'm going to look her up. Maybe she's me the misfortune she deserves.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8002/05/2013

What I would do is politely decline the invitation, and of course mention that I am unemployed myself. I don't see that it is any great offense for them to be doing this, and if it works to get their last two mortgage payments paid, then bully for them.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8102/05/2013

They should call it a "mortgage payment" party. They aren't renting.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8302/05/2013

what douchebags

the gatekeeper deciding who's in and who's out in their social circle - run don't walk from these tools

and since your friend Eric has chosen a guy like this as his partner, I would reconsider the friendship

don't make any excuses. Simply respond: I am unable to attend - don't explain, don't complain

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8402/05/2013

A new DVD player???

Aren't they like $30 now?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8502/05/2013

R85 It's a Blu Ray... apparently.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8602/05/2013

r18, they act entitled because pride comes with a fall.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8702/05/2013

Clearly they know you're unemployed, so it's bad enough they sent your an invitation expecting you to fork over $75.00 for their little white trash rent party. But, if the friendship really would be jeopardized if you didn't pay then you're a fool for being friends with people like that in the first place.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8802/05/2013

So their gonna be broke. Cream,butter, milk, eggs and sugar are basics, and should be covered by food stamps, right? So, let them make ....creme brulee! I'd offer to make it for them, but I'm busy talking to aliens right now.

PS, They really don't sound like long-term bosom buddies, OP. No, they really don't.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 8902/05/2013

Looks like OP is going to have to find some new entitled, self-centered, cunt friends who don't give a shit about him.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9002/05/2013

It seems so tacky and crass to ask your friends to donate money to pay your bills.

OP, they know your situation. Just shoot them an email on Manhunt (where I am SURE they are hunting for cock 24x7) saying that things are tight and you can't offer financial assistance, but you'd be glad to help them cook or make origami decorations. And give blowjobs in the bathroom to the guests.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9102/05/2013

These people are not your real friends. You are better off without them.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9202/05/2013

I do sympathize, but there are options. If they get thru those two months they need to do one of two things: They need to take in a a rommate/border to help, or they need to move out and rent the condo until things improve.

Personally I would move out and put it up for rent.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9302/05/2013

[quote]Regarding the food, I'm sure that they're using whatever is in their extra freezer. Eric is always buying all kinds of extra food whenever it's on sale. Same with liquor.

They have an extra freezer and buys extra food for no reason? Americans just don't understand the meaning of poverty. Visit some third world countries and see how it's done.

Let your friends fund their own debt problems. Obviously they've been living about their means and need to learn a lesson or two.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9402/05/2013

Even if it's just their last two mortgage payments their looking to make, the fact that they're behind on their payments makes it almost certain they'll continue to be so. In effect, what they're doing is setting a precedent here, so that you'll all soon be paying regularly for their friendship, which sounds just dandy.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9502/05/2013

This never happened... 100 replies of people who engaged the troll ? Seriously?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9602/05/2013

[quote]Even if it's just their last two mortgage payments their looking to make

Second "their" should be "they're"--so spare me.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9702/05/2013

It is not "rent" number one. It is mortgage payments which is an entirely different can of responsibilities.

They should contact their bank and try to get refinancing or work with the bank to get their payment lowered.

Or her should bite the bullet and take a part time job until he can obtain regular employment.

The should be men and not beg off their friends. I can't stand guys like that.

Although I do feel kinda sorry for them.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9802/05/2013

That's the tackiest thing I've ever heard. They're throwing themselves a fundraiser???

Punch and delete, OP.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 9902/05/2013

A rent party? Dear God, how terribly gauche. Where are my smelling salts?

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10002/05/2013

I wish I had thought of a "rent" party

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10102/05/2013

Yea, OP. Have these guys told you all how much their mortgage payment is? That's the least they can do if they are asking for charity - not even a loan, but out and out charity.

I can see how now having to live on one salary rather than 2 can be a setback but seems to me if they were sharing the payment then it might not take your friend that much to make up his share of the mortgage and other payments.

Have they told you how much and where they are cutting back on their living? Are they still driving the same cars? Are they still dining out, etc. Have they taken any trips or vacations since your friend lost his job? Have you noticed that they at least seem to be economizing in a real sense?

In any event - I would be much more sympathetic and willing to help a friend who was living alone and behind on their rent - not mortgage but rent. I am always happy to help someone avoid eviction. But your friends are ahead of the game because there are 2 of them - one with a job - and they own property.

Just say no. Actually invites like this don't even require the courtesy of a reply.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10202/05/2013

OP: The party is no more than cosmetics. Basically, this couple wants people to give them money, and they're using the concept of "friendship" to lean on everyone. Why not simply email the one you're close to and tell him that you can't afford to come? Thereafter, try to maintain a one-on-one relationship with him, locking his partner out of your life. You don't want to give up a friendship (at least, not if it's valuable to you), but this party is truly an offensive act. I would imagine that many more than you will decline the invitation.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10302/05/2013

They should feature an "Oscar Pay-la-Renta" fashion show.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10402/05/2013

Entitled morons.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10502/05/2013

There is no reason for two homosexuals to beg for money as long as they have four useful holes between them that can be put to commercial use.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10602/05/2013

Don't respond to the invitation. If your "friend" asks you why you didn't RSVP, laugh and tell him you thought it was a joke.

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10702/05/2013

Nope, no way in hell would I attend. I have friends and family who have fallen on hard times, and I've had them over for dinner, sent them gift cards anonymously, etc, but would never pay $75 to go there for dinner. I can't believe someone would even ask that...

by They should be throwing the party for me. Grrrrreply 10802/06/2013
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