My ex is here and nobody told me he would be showing up, and I want to puke...he is here with somebody else too who he is now living with. i am so hurt, I am shaking. can I leave
I'm pposting from the bathroom of a superbowl party
|by Anonymous||reply 97||05/13/2013|
You are going to be fine, OP.
You are a functioning person with at least $18, which you used to post this message. You can function in sub-optimal conditions for an hour or two. You can also leave and apologize to your host later.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||02/03/2013|
As long as y ou don't huffy strut out clutching your pearls so all can see your suffering then yes leave. You can go to a sports bar and drown your sorrows if you want but that seldom works out well.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||02/03/2013|
sneak out quietly gurl
|by Anonymous||reply 3||02/03/2013|
He is there in the bathroom with somebody else while you're shaking and posting on DL? I hope it's a big bathroom.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||02/03/2013|
Of course you can. It sounds like someone trying to start trouble. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||02/03/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 6||02/03/2013|
I would run. And they should have told you.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||02/03/2013|
I'm with r3. Just leave very quietly. Don't make a scene. Take care of yourself. Why suffer?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||02/03/2013|
Leave quietly, just say goodbye to your host.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||02/03/2013|
Just leave, don't make a scene. Tell the host later that you felt under the weather
|by Anonymous||reply 10||02/03/2013|
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
|by Anonymous||reply 11||02/03/2013|
Are you there alone? Do you have friends there? I know how you feel shaking and all. That would be a shitty situation, but fuck, why should you have to leave? Grab a friend and a drink and have fun. The best revenge is to live well.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||02/03/2013|
It all depends, and it isn't clear from your post who you are.
These things play out very differently depending on who you are at this event. Are you an elderfrau? or a gayling.
If you are a gayling, it will look like you are even more immature and that you have have been immasculated even more than possible.
If you are an elderfrau, it will look wise.
Consult someone before you act.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||02/03/2013|
If anyone asks, or if you want, tell the host that you have another party to go to but wanted to at least pop in and say hello.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||02/03/2013|
Please cause a scene!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||02/03/2013|
Thanks for pposting OPP. We hoppe you ppost an up date later.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||02/03/2013|
Leave an upper decker in the host's commode.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||02/03/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 18||02/03/2013|
The most important question is: are you still single?
Is his new boyfriend hot?
|by Anonymous||reply 19||02/03/2013|
My GAWD, I feel for you. It's gotta be a nightmare.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||02/03/2013|
Throw a glass at his feet and storm out, slamming the door.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||02/03/2013|
Slap your ex face, throw a drink on his new boyfriend, pop your fingers twice and sashay out the door.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||02/03/2013|
power through brah.just power through and everything will be ok
|by Anonymous||reply 23||02/03/2013|
The boyfriend is coming from inside the house!!!!!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 24||02/03/2013|
Be charming, talk to his boyfriend, get him drunk then sabotage their relationship by letting all your X's dirty little secrets out. That should keep them busy for a few weeks.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||02/03/2013|
And do you have any quick-acting laxatives that can be easily dropped in his and his new squeeze's drink?
|by Anonymous||reply 26||02/03/2013|
Leave quietly, you don't need to put yourself through this if you don't want to. Why be miserable?
|by Anonymous||reply 27||02/03/2013|
What R22 said.
Do your best Bette Davis/Joan Crawford imitation!
|by Anonymous||reply 28||02/03/2013|
[quote]My ex is here and nobody told me he would be showing up, and I want to puke...he is here with somebody else too who he is now living with. i am so hurt, I am shaking. can I leave
Translation: some hot guy OP tricked with once and who blew him off afterward but who OP has fantasized about ever since and probably even told his friends about has shown up with some hot preen that he is going to fuck all night after the game and OP realizes a few people he has talked to about said ex-trick are also at the party and further more OP can no longer deny he is never going to be more than a C list gay in that group and now knows he has to find a whole new friend set a bit further down the gayling social ladder.
Vodka is nice.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||02/03/2013|
I like you, R25.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||02/03/2013|
OP, now is the time to summon that strong black woman deep down inside you. Get out that bathroom and start taking names!
|by Anonymous||reply 31||02/03/2013|
Just leave and watch the halftime show at home with a pizza and some good porn to masturbate to during the commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||02/03/2013|
Host should have told both of you that you were both invited. Unless you don't know the host very well, in which not really his fault.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||02/03/2013|
Aren't there any razor blades in the medicine cabinet you can use?
|by Anonymous||reply 34||02/03/2013|
Take some cheese from the nachos, make sure it's got a little green chili on it and hang it from your nostril and go up to the new boyfriend and say "Hi, I'm his ex-lovah."
|by Anonymous||reply 35||02/03/2013|
Jesus, you're being such a drama queen. Unless you broke up a week ago, get over yourself and suck it up. If you want to leave, go.
It's a party. Don't be a pooper.
Having said this, please make a huge scene worthy of a Sally Field movie.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||02/03/2013|
[quote]RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
I don't think OP is a cat.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||02/03/2013|
Well if the ex is living with his new boy, chances are it didn't happen last week.
Maybe OP being a little bit of a drama queen.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||02/03/2013|
That was kind of shitty of your friends not to tell you he was also invited, if the people who are having the party are aware of the situation and that it's awkward.
If they weren't aware though, you can't really blame them.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||02/03/2013|
BITCH! You better stay and eat all this food I bought and MADE! So what Rico showed up! We'll all forget about the awkwardness by the time Beyonce comes on.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||02/03/2013|
Get a knife. Unplug the TV set and sever the power cord. Inform the assembled guests that no football will be watched until you find out who very dared invite your ex and his new bf to the party.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||02/03/2013|
Swing low sweet chariot
|by Anonymous||reply 42||02/03/2013|
Do what feels right for you. If you cannot stay and take the high road, being gracious and friendly to the bastard ex and his new "whatever he is," then leave quietly. No need to suffer at ALL. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. And, yeah, pretty shitty of your friend not to tell you the ex was coming. Unless he/she did not know or you are not that close of friends.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||02/03/2013|
Thats the spirit r41!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||02/03/2013|
You could slip a finger in his new bf's ass and reveal that he doesn't wipe correctly.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||02/03/2013|
You're a dramatic, scene-stealing cunt, aren't you? Shut the fuck and go eat some Greek yogurt, ya dumb ass bitch.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||02/03/2013|
[quote]Jesus, you're being such a drama queen. Unless you broke up a week ago, get over yourself and suck it up. If you want to leave, go.
You have no idea what the OP is going through, because I've been through the exact same thing. This is as bad as it gets.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||02/03/2013|
Gay men are so dull. The lesbian scenario of this would already have a few flying drinks in it.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||02/03/2013|
r46 = ex's new boo thang, posting from the master bedroom
|by Anonymous||reply 49||02/03/2013|
I'm with R48. Our sapphic sisters would have crabwalked their way to a 911 call by now.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||02/03/2013|
This is becoming like gay Cleudo
|by Anonymous||reply 51||02/03/2013|
Walk up to your ex and say
"Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck him?
'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak his name
Does he know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive!"
|by Anonymous||reply 52||02/03/2013|
OP here. I faked sick and cabbed home, and I almost never take cabs. I am still shaking. I was with this guy for six years and he cheated. Worst heartbreak of my life. Now it seems he's so happy. Figured out that my fried's roommate invited him not knowing anything about the situation...apparently they know one another from the gym. Yes I know I am being a drama queen but WHAT THE FUCK. I'm thinking of hitting the bars and I don't drink.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||02/03/2013|
Nope. Stay. Success is the best revenge. Don't be too obvious about it, but show yourself as being just fine without him. As someone said, take the high road.
If you really can't do that, make some excuse to the host and quietly leave. But, don't make a scene.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||02/03/2013|
Vodka is an embarrassed queens best friend, OP. You need to go to the Eagle STAT.... and then there is that sunday night bondage club you should look into.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||02/03/2013|
OP, are you a man or a mouse?
|by Anonymous||reply 56||02/03/2013|
Glad you're doing okay, OP. Don't let that scene drag you down.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||02/03/2013|
Hit the bars, your pain will emulate without having to say a word. You are prime for butt rapping.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||02/03/2013|
My ex cheated and it fucked me up. You know what, that relationship ending was a good thing because now I'm with someone who being with has shown me what shits I was with before.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||02/03/2013|
OP/R52, it looka like we posted at nearly the same time.
I don't think you were a drama queen at all. (Yet) Since you could not stay in that situation, I'm glad you made some excuse to leave. Now you need to take care of yourself. Please stay home and don't go to the bar. Take a bubble bath or something, watch a comedy on TV, or absorb yourself in a good drama.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||02/03/2013|
Well isn't that a kick in the cunt, OP?
|by Anonymous||reply 61||02/03/2013|
Feel for you dude! I had a similar thing with a girl who was bi and got married to a mutual male friend. Last year , I was at a party and they both were there. I was hurt and mortified. Then she got drunk and flashed me. Oh how I so wanted to slap her silly
|by Anonymous||reply 62||02/03/2013|
Sorry, I meant to say "OP/R53"
|by Anonymous||reply 63||02/03/2013|
well OP, now we know your ex has so much power over you. do you hate him or love him?
|by Anonymous||reply 64||02/03/2013|
Good on you for leaving the situation, OP. Maybe staying in a clearing your head would be good for tonight? Do you have outside space? Is it too cold to spend half an hour just breathing and being outside?
|by Anonymous||reply 65||02/03/2013|
If you are a drama queen then walk up to your ex and loudly proclaim that he gave you (insert disease here) and he should have told you he had (insert disease here) before taking you bareback. Just make sure you use the same disease in both instances.
If you are otherwise a calm, rational person then 1) socialize with the other guests and make the best of a bad situation 2) exit with a plausible excuse like you have another party to attend or 3) sneak out (just make sure the party is being held on a ground floor or near ground floor location before exiting through a window. Exiting from a window higher than one story puts you in the drama queen category.)
|by Anonymous||reply 66||02/03/2013|
I hear you, OP. The woman I was with for six years cheated on me with a man she met online. Saw her at a mutual friend's NYE party, and felt like shit. I know the feelings are horrible and intense right now, but they WILL pass. Distract yourself -- take a walk or go to a movie.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||02/03/2013|
Stand next to your ex and snicker as if you've done something nasty. When he looks at you, wondering what's up, ramp up the snicker to a stifled giggle. Next, a pfffft-hah! as you look bug-eyed at his leg and then walk away while laughing. Pull this off, and he'll be the one who wants to leave.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||02/03/2013|
[quote]Hit the bars, your pain will emulate without having to say a word.
I expect you mean to say that his pain will emanate. Because otherwise, this would make no sense.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||02/03/2013|
girl, you left. you were suppose to play that off like it meant nothing to you. now your ex know you still have feelings. damn.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||02/03/2013|
"I hear you, OP. The woman I was with for six years cheated on me with a man she met online"
Ugh. Just no. You're better off without her.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||02/03/2013|
OP, at least you were invited to the party, bitch ....
|by Anonymous||reply 72||02/03/2013|
OP, do you have a stutter?
|by Anonymous||reply 73||02/03/2013|
Either (1) leave for your own sanity, or (2) get hammered and make a scene.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||02/03/2013|
This show is dull!
|by Anonymous||reply 75||02/03/2013|
Oh hunny. Don't be an amateur. Walk up to your ex, shake his hand, share a drink, have fun.
Introduce yourself to his new beau. Get him a drink. Get him 2. Tell him you're so happy you're ex is finally moving on after you 'dropped the stalking charges and restraining order'. Tell him you hope that he didn't give the herpes to him also, like he did to _you_. Finally, tell him that although you met your ex while he was an escort, you are SURE he is really a good person and has changed for the better. Don't forget to mention his former career as a bareback porn star. :D
Then, sashay away honey.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||02/03/2013|
Are you HIV positive? if so, slit your finger and rub it on the boyfriend. Worth a try.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||02/03/2013|
Why are you shaking about your ex? Don't let that bitch intimidate you! Get your ass back in that party and have a good time. Fuck him! Don't be such a goddamn sissy!
|by Anonymous||reply 78||02/03/2013|
OP, you are so weak for leaving the party. You need to acknowledge that you still have feeling for your ex so you can get over him!
|by Anonymous||reply 79||02/03/2013|
I agree R47. I went to a party that my ex dropped in on w/ a date, it was hard because it wasn't long after our breakup. It really sucked. Next party I had a date when the ex arrived and it was awesome. My date was hot and had just moved to the city so he wasn't part of the used up dating pool.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||02/03/2013|
Pull an irish goodbye.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||02/03/2013|
The first thing OP does when he's in distress and in a bad way,is log onto Data Lounge and ask all of his BFFs here to help him? He doesn't call or text his real life friends or family? Then again, if the OP is a such a cowering little queen, maybe his real life friends and family want nothing to do with him.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||02/03/2013|
I'm a girl OP and I totally agree with you leaving. You don't need a drink though, look up zen, do some yoga and meditation, you'll be fine & let go.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||02/03/2013|
OP, since you ran home grab your gun and come back and let those two bitches have it!
|by Anonymous||reply 84||02/03/2013|
Would you like me to send him some used panties, OP?
|by Anonymous||reply 85||02/03/2013|
Imagine swallowing Cheryl's pussy juices.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||02/03/2013|
I still haven't recovered. Where is my cane?
|by Anonymous||reply 87||02/03/2013|
[quote]You have no idea what the OP is going through, because I've been through the exact same thing. This is as bad as it gets.
I agree. It doesn't matter how long ago they broke up. Some breakups happen under terrible circumstances, so bad that you never want to see the person again. Some people turn out to be real jerks that make you sick at just the sight of them.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||02/03/2013|
[quote] Some people turn out to be real jerks that make you sick at just the sight of them.
Agreed. I have one ex who I haven't seen in five years who treated me so horribly at the end that I just want absolutely nothing to do with him. He's the only person I've dated who I'd completely ignore if he tried to say hello to me on the street. Luckily, we live three hours away from each other and don't run in the same circles whatsoever so I'm not worried at all about actually running into him. He has, however, tried to contact me a few times within the past two years, via email and texting, at first casual "Hey haven't talked in a while, how are you" type stuff, then more recently apologizing for how he acted and saying that he's really always cared about me, blah blah blah. Maybe it's petty, but I haven't responded at all. I haven't even sent him any "Fuck off" type of response, although I've briefly considered it. I think it would be childish and possibly imply that I still care for him on some level, but the main reason I don't do it is that I'd rather just not communicate with him in any way, period. Suffice it to say though, I would leave the vicinity if I saw him anywhere.
Shit, there's one lady who I have a lot of the same mutual acquaintances as who, if I see her anywhere, I will leave - and I don't even have any history of any type of close relationship with this person. She's just a cunt who says offensive and bitchy things to and about others unexpectedly, and you never know when she's going to do it. Anyway, I rather not be there to be offended by it when she does. I've only left a place once so far because of her, and I didn't make a scene; just made an excuse about needing to go, politely said my goodbyes and left. Life is too short to waste forcing yourself to be around people who disgust you to such a huge extent.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||02/04/2013|
"Now it seems he's so happy."
OP, or maybe he's not. Betrayal is a tough thing to forgive. He doesn't sound worth having. He'll probably cheat on and dump the current guy, too.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||02/04/2013|
Indifference is the BEST revenge. I don't know why more people don't understand this. Any sort of reaction shows you still care on some level. No reaction shows you do not care at all. If OP were to calmly enjoy the party and talk to the ex and the new bf the same way he talked to other guests, that would be the best way to handle it.
People hate to think they are not important enough to make a lasting impression or hold your attention. I love to mess around with narcissists and pretend I can't remember their names, what they do or how we met. It makes them crazy.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||02/04/2013|
[quote]Indifference is the BEST revenge. I don't know why more people don't understand this. Any sort of reaction shows you still care on some level. No reaction shows you do not care at all.
I completely agree with this, but if the OP really had such a visceral reaction to seeing his ex, then just leaving was probably the best thing to do in this case.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||02/04/2013|
I'm sorry, sir or madam, but with all due respect, I've got problems of my own.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||02/04/2013|
I have been cheated on twice over my very long life. Once that happened I lost all desire for that person. I guess I was hurt on some level but the main feeling was "what an asshole this guy is." I ddn't want anything more to do with him.
It's not that I think so highly of myself it's just that I have usually avoided people who are hurtful. That includes non-romantic or non-sexual relationships as well.
A neighbor - who admittedly had been getting on my nerves because she was proving to be selfish in her behavior and self-absorbed to the point of callousness to others - made some utterly thoughtless remark to me when I returned to town from my mother's funeral. I haven't acknowledged her presence since - except about 10 years after the incident she asked if she had done something to offend me. I just told her I didn't know what she was talking about and continued to ignore her. I had been a very kind, patient and generous friend to her before all this and I don't have time for peopel like that. Every so often when I see her I feel a twinge of guilt but then I snap out of it.
Cruel or selfish people do not deserve your attention.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||02/04/2013|
Did OP ever escape from that bathroom?
|by Anonymous||reply 95||02/04/2013|
Regarding the issue of making a scene or playing it cool, Miss Manners said it best:
"If you are rude to your ex-husband's new wife at your daughter's wedding, you will make her feel smug. Comfortable. If you are charming and polite, you will make her feel uncomfortable. Which do you want to do?"
|by Anonymous||reply 96||02/04/2013|
Darrell Issa is from Orange County, CA and California is pretty liberal. If more Californians knew what he was doing, they'd start hauling his ass out.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||05/13/2013|