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Beyonce here!

Preparing for BEYONCEBOWL 2013! Thought I'd drop by to acknowledge my gay peasantry while I get my weave *tightly* secured by my handmaidens.

I know some of you hating bitches will be watching me in your caftans, holding a hot wing with your lips pursed, but you'll be watching nonetheless!

How yall doin?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3402/03/2013

Are you going to lip sync "If I Were A Boy"?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 102/03/2013

Bey, who wrote that post for you? We all know you're too fucking illiterate to string a sentence together.

Jay-Z, is that YOU girl?!?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 202/03/2013

r2, dont make me send you the same way as LeToya and that other girl whose name escapes me at the moment.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 302/03/2013

Who be takin care of that surrogate baby of yours while you be lip-synching?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 402/03/2013

I be in the food court y'all!

Eatin pork rinds!

My butt itches.

Where y'all?

Okay.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 502/03/2013

Is your vocal track getting nervous?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 602/03/2013

Wow! Beyonce, you look just like Kenya Moore!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 702/03/2013

I'll show you how ya'll sing the national anthem,honey...

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 802/03/2013

Beyonce has about as much talent as Toyota Jackson, but she's prettier.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 902/03/2013

I hope Whitney's ghost fucks up the show tonight!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1002/03/2013

LOL R10!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1102/03/2013

[quote]Who be takin care of that surrogate baby of yours while you be lip-synching?

My slightly overweight cousin and former assistant Angela is taking care of the baby. She also carried her for 9 months!

[quote]I hope Whitney's ghost fucks up the show tonight!

We have security looking out for MISS Dionne at all entrances, along with Juanita Bynum and her prayer warriors. Nippy wont be getting into the BEYONCEBOWL today bitch!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1202/03/2013

Yes Gawd!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1302/03/2013

I'll be changing the channel at halftime.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1402/03/2013

I can't handle anymore of this BeYAWNce overload in the media. It's getting ridiculous.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1502/03/2013

I will be in my neon orange and lime green caftan darling, lips pursed and tongue sharpened, ready to tear you apart. Then it's back to grunts and bulging muscles, the reason I watch.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1602/03/2013

Aretha's going to parachute down from a helicopter and land on Beyonce, crushing her and her backup singers (aka the other members of Destiny's Child). Ree Ree don't play!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1702/03/2013

lmfao r17

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1802/03/2013

[quote]I'll be changing the channel at halftime.

My halftime show will be broadcast on EVERY channel!

r17, like hell she will! As if a helicopter containing her big ass could even take flight in the first place.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 1902/03/2013

Doe a dear a female dear, i'll kick your fucking ass right now SONNNNNN. B a name that's for myself, farrrrrr a long long way i've comeeeeee.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2002/03/2013

Are you gays getting ready? Don't eat, don't talk, don't even breathe during my performance.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2102/03/2013

About time for the MAIN EVENT bitches! Please, no drooling during my performance.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2202/03/2013

She says every second will be live - even her back up music

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2302/03/2013

Wow, she actually gave some airtime to her Destiny's Child girls.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2402/03/2013

GO THE FUCK AWAY ALREADY!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2502/03/2013

God how I loathe her.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2602/03/2013

I was doing some laundry. Did I miss anything?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2702/03/2013

Lip syncing again.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2802/03/2013

I really enjoyed the part when jay-z brought the baby on stage! Super cute.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 2902/03/2013

I'm so glad that being a dumbshit whore with fake ass and tits is working out for you, Beyond-Say.

Too bad that when you're on stage your downstairs ladylips make more live noise rubbing against your tights than your "voice" does.

Faux-nee.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3002/03/2013

One good thing (or only thing) was all the musicians onstage were women. Did anyone get a lesbionic vibe when she danced with the guitar player?

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3102/03/2013

Good evening peasants!

I told you bitches I was going to SHUT IT DOWN, and I meant it!

Now one of you fetch me glass so I can get my Hennessy on!

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3202/03/2013

I liked the moves better when Tina Turner did them 40 years ago.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3302/03/2013

Wow!! I've heard of performers who could just suck all of the energy out of the room, but this is epic.

by Her Majesty, Queen Mutherfucking Beyoncereply 3402/03/2013
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