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Parents who insist on bringing their spawn to adult functions

Never believed these stories until now that it's happened to me.

My brother refuses to attend my night time b'day party b/c I've decided I don't want children there.

I told him that his kids (5&3) were welcome to come over during the day, but my party begins at 6 and it will be adults only. I even offered to pay for a sitter but he's pissed and won't attend.

Men can be fraus, too.

by Anonymousreply 3802/01/2013

Do parents not want breaks and date nights away their kids these days? My parents routinely went out by themselves and left us with a sitter.

by Anonymousreply 101/31/2013

Is this part of helicopter parenting?

by Anonymousreply 201/31/2013

Many parents these days seem reluctant to leave their young children with babysitters.

I think it stems from the horror stories in the news which have occured with certain nannies and/or babysitters where the kids are not properly watched, the sitter/nannie is irresponsible and puts the children in danger, or the sitter/nannie actually harms the kids.

by Anonymousreply 301/31/2013

This happens all the time now. There is a local bar here that took some heat for having a strict no kids policy. It's like come on you are mad at a BAR for not allowing kids?

by Anonymousreply 401/31/2013

R6, you are in the wrong thread, but brown shoes with a navy suit is very fashionable and stylish, and currently very much in style.

For you to keep denying that it is currently in style is ignorant.

by Anonymousreply 701/31/2013

Yeah r6 plenty of people carry it off well, even non-gaylings.

by Anonymousreply 801/31/2013

Parents who work long hours don't want to spend what little free time they have away from their kids.

by Anonymousreply 901/31/2013

Then I guess they'll have to be polite and not attend adult social functions and remain prisoners with their sticky spawn in their own home, R9.

by Anonymousreply 1001/31/2013

He can't afford or doesn't want to pay a babysitter and is to proud to let you pay.

by Anonymousreply 1101/31/2013

Then they should stay at home with the kids or take them to a movie and not inflict them on adults.

by Anonymousreply 1201/31/2013

[quote] Parents who work long hours don't want to spend what little free time they have away from their kids.

Why not? I certainly would want to get away from the little shits every chance I got.

by Anonymousreply 1301/31/2013

Patsy Ramsey, is that you?

by Anonymousreply 1401/31/2013

R7 and R8 = gaylings with no parent who taught them how to dress.

by Anonymousreply 1501/31/2013

Please! Why would adults want to spend the evening with demanding children? It's rediculous, your brother could come for a couple of hours and then go home. After spending a hard week at work, the last thing I want to do is spend time with someone elses over tired children.

by Anonymousreply 1601/31/2013

I had a New Year's dinner for an aunt and uncle, their son from out of town, an uncle, my parents, and a few of their friends - 10 people. In our dining room, naturally, carefully planned, nice table settings and all. I let people know the arrangements (sit-down dinner) and they all dressed for dinner.

But the uncle showed up with his young-adult daughter and her two-year-old son - she had left her husband and was staying with him, and he decided without calling us that she should come. The table had no more room. There was neither room for an adult and child.

My partner said he'd give his chair, since they were guests. I said no, because it wasn't a small-child affair. I told her we were not expecting her, that we were happy to see her, but asked if she minded sitting in another room and eating with the kid there. She said not at all, and that was that. Except for the constant running back and forth - we weren't using servers/servants - it was fine. BUT the uncle announced that we were rude and show offs, that it was terrible that we didn't make room at the table, and that it just shows.........

Well, that was the last time he was invited.

by Anonymousreply 1701/31/2013

Frankly, it is normal and natural for kids to spend time with other people...not just Mommy and Daddy. Many kids love it when the baby sitter comes over and they like for their parents to have some fun. If they whine and cry when Mom goes out...she has probably spoiled them.

by Anonymousreply 1801/31/2013

Actually, R17, you do sound kind of like a priss. Sending her to an entirely different room. I hope the servants steal your silverware.

by Anonymousreply 1901/31/2013

Adults only parties are a crucial ingredient of why, years ago, marraiges lasted longer.

You both came home from the party snooted or sober and you sent the sitter home by taxicab or drove them home.

You and your spouse then, with the kids asleep, proceeded to have hot, drunken, kinky sex while you both thought about or, better yet, told each other about that hot thing that flirted with you at the party.

The next morning your kids woke you up and you and your spouse are still aglow with post-sex dopamine coursing through your brains and bodies.

It's a win for your marraige and for your kids who are happy being in the presence of two adults who have made each other happy.

Children are very perceptive. They may not know why their parents seem to be happy; they only know they are and they gain a sense of security and happiness from that.

In other words, children have as much to gain, from parents having "adults only" time together.

by Anonymousreply 2001/31/2013

R5 - did you read the OP? He offered to pay for their babysitter. And at going rates $18 buys you about an hour

by Anonymousreply 2101/31/2013

Perhaps your limited experience in life leaves you unfamiliar with the concepts of sitting in chairs to eat, using a table, planning a meal, inviting people, having unexpected guests be a challenge to deal with, and attempting to find solutions to the unmannerly.

Oh. I see. You're the type of person who barges in uninvited and then complains when everything doesn't go your way. In other words, you're a presumptuous, ungiving, selfish cunt, aren't you?

by Anonymousreply 2201/31/2013

Della, you watch entirely too much television, honey.

by Anonymousreply 2301/31/2013

r22 - Your uncle brought some extra family members to what he thought was a gathering of family and close friends. Yes, it was rude of him not to give you a heads up, but get a grip. Next time, take a cue from your more gracious and well-mannered partner.

by Anonymousreply 2401/31/2013

True, r23, but that isn't something I know from TV. It's common sense.

by Anonymousreply 2501/31/2013

Like fucking AA meetings. I fucking hate that!

by Anonymousreply 2601/31/2013

I had an experience similar to r17. Not quite as formal but still a sit down dinner where I asked the lone parent to please get a sitter as well as warned that there wouldn't be any other kids there and the menu wasn't at all kid friendly. Of course she showed up the kid in tow anyway and ignored every polite suggestion to maybe make something for the kid before we sat down and let her watch a movie while we ate.

Nope. "Oh, she'll just eat with us." "Oh, she'll have whatever we're having." Needless to say shortly into dinner I was back in the kitchen trying to scare something up for the kid. Doting mom also plopped the kid smack in the middle of the table seating and prompted her to "entertain" everyone thru the entire meal.

Not every thing or place revolves around the kids. I do have some more considerate friends who when they do bring their kids for one reason or another have the good sense to bring along appropriate kid-friendly food and instruct the kids to stay in the den with their book or movies or whatever rather than trying to join the adults.

Why is this so hard for some parents to accept? Hell, when my brother and I were kids the LAST thing we interested was being stuck with a bunch of boring adults.

by Anonymousreply 2701/31/2013

R15's leathery breasts are the pride of Atlantis.

by Anonymousreply 2801/31/2013

R28's bird legs and chronic splenda smell are the shame of his 8-tenant studio.

by Anonymousreply 2902/01/2013

So your brother is just going to blow off your birthday because you (the birthday boy) choose to have an adult only party? Your birthday is once a year! Your brother is not being very brotherly OP. Sucks, but your're better off without him.

by Anonymousreply 3002/01/2013

That was just dumb, R29. You bitter eldergays really are threatened, aren't you?

by Anonymousreply 3102/01/2013

R26, you will appreciate this. I was at a meeting out of town, and they had a business meeting to determine whether children were going to be allowed at a meeting. It tied, and since I was the only one who hadn't voted, since I didn't live there, they asked me to break the tie.

Naturally, I came down in favor of No Kids at Meetings. I'd actually been dealing with it at one of my hometown meetings, so I was more than happy to vote kids out of meetings *somewhere*.

The woman with the kid just about had another kid right there on the floor, she was so pissed.

It was a good thing.

by Anonymousreply 3202/01/2013

So with you OP!

I like kids. Lots a friends have kids. Always enjoy seeing them - and they all like me and seem genuinely glad to see me too - and regularly babysit a couple of em -

But there's a time and a place.

I've pretty much given up having coffee lunch at all my local cafes & restaurants - cos I got sick of trying to eat at a crèche. Reading the newspaper while a baby is screaming at the next table or a toddler is vying for my attention - while their mother's is elsewhere (usually on her phone) has gotten old - and I'm over it. It's obviously a big market segment for the owners of the eateries - and they have to look to where the bucks come from - so good luck to them - but my choice is to stay away.

A few years back we hosted a dinner for a visiting writer. Tickets were sold to raise money for charity. Was at a small inner city restaurant - we booked the place out - and the author would meet and mingle with her fans then give a brief talk and take some questions. Nice evening - no dramas...

Except one couple wanted to bring their baby. And asked fme if it was ok. I said no - it wasn't really appropriate. Then they argued with me. It was really important for them to bring the kid because of the difficulties surrounding its birth and cos it was so special - and they needed to introduce it to the author cos they'd told the author all about the circumstances of the miracle birth in fan email, etc - blah!

In the end I was so browbeaten and made to feel like the worst person on earth and had no choice but to give in and tell them they could bring their spawn - but if it started to cry then they had to take it outside so a not to disrupt the night for the forty or so other paying guests. Think they must have drugged the kid as mercifully it slept thru the whole thing - only a couple of little noisy outbreaks. It was really cold outside that night - so damned lucky they didn't have to go out and freeze their entitled asses off... Blah!

I'm curious: Do really entitled asshole parents pull this stunt at corporate dinners nowadays? Do people get invited to the Whitehouse and just show up with their brats and announce "oh, I couldn't get a sitter - but they'll be no trouble..." ???

by Anonymousreply 3302/01/2013


I doubt that has anything to do with it. So many people today are just stupid. It has nothing to do with even wanting to bring their kids. It's about them taking it as a personal attack that someone might not want their children along. How could someone not want to spend time with their precious, adorable, children?

Meanwhile, they don't want to spend time with their own kids, but would rather act like a bitch if you take the option away from them to bring them.

You're better off without the loser and his brats.

by Anonymousreply 3402/01/2013

but shouldn't a "gracious" host always anticipate an uninvited guest or incident? Have a spare chair, setting, make more food than necessary for the invited guests only. Couldn't the woman and her child have sat at a poker table in the same room rather than be singled out and banished to the living room? I know how much you fellas hate women but the uncle really was at fault for assuming it would be ok to bring his neice. Maybe shove the uncle over and stuff the neice and her kid in his "space" to remind him throughout dinner what a faux paus he committed.

by Anonymousreply 3502/01/2013

[quote]Is this part of helicopter parenting?

Yes it is.

Babysitters used to be the 14-year-old girl next door. Now nobody can be trusted your kids without a background check.

It's all about obsession over irrational fear.

It's why kids don't play outside anymore.

by Anonymousreply 3602/01/2013

Is the current generation of parents the same generation that grew up hearing about "stranger danger"? No doubt they took it literally.

by Anonymousreply 3702/01/2013

[quote]I know how much you fellas hate women

R35, I'm a straight woman & I don't hate any group of people (some individuals are a different matter). But I don't want uninvited guests -- of any sex or age or species (dogs!) -- at an event with limited seating & food.

Maybe I'm a control freak (like Martha Stewart), but people who accept an invitation should abide by the terms stated. It's OK for them to ask ahead of time whether they can bring someone extra but, if permission is denied, they should not ignore the host's wishes & arrive with the companion anyhow.

by Anonymousreply 3802/01/2013
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