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Expectations people have of Datalounge

Do you look for "friends" here? Do you actually think you know other posters?

Do you just try and stir shit and vent and be mean to strangers because you can here but you can't in real life?

Is a psychopahtic urge to correct grammar your thing and you know nobody in your life will tolerate such nit-picking?

Are you in freont of a computer for 8-12 hours a day and pop on and off because you have ADHD?


by Anonymousreply 7002/03/2013

The design of DL purposely makes it not a place you come to make online friends and create your own little community. It is anonymous, you aren't supposed to know or track who the other posters are. I like that about it.

by Anonymousreply 101/29/2013

oh ouch

by Anonymousreply 201/29/2013

I came for the gossip -- but except for published blind items and a few fun stories, there hasn't been much lately.

by Anonymousreply 301/30/2013

R1 you forgot about trolldar.

Nothing is really anonymous.

by Anonymousreply 401/30/2013

ADHD. Seriously.

That, and the search for someone with common sense, which continues to elude me.

by Anonymousreply 501/30/2013

I'm a newbie, only been here a week. I love this place. It's fun and some comment are hilarious. It reminds me of when the internet first came out out and there were gay chatrooms filled with characters. Today most gay sites are about hooking up which is fine but I like the humour, fun, bitchiness of this place.

by Anonymousreply 601/30/2013

Hardcore Aspie. This place was made for me.

by Anonymousreply 701/30/2013

I think Datalounge change my life and save the world.

by Anonymousreply 801/30/2013


[quote]in freont of a computer

Oh, dear.

Oh, Mary!

by Anonymousreply 901/30/2013

When I first found DL, it was full of such smart, witty people that a friend (very bright and funny) was too intimidated to post. The only grammar we picked on was that of illiterate homophobes, racists, or freepers in general. I'm a professional editor, but I didn't find it necessary to correct anyone on here for years.

No one said "MARY!" to every thoughtful or personal or emotional post, and the "Oh, dear" thing hadn't started (for me, old the second time I saw it). People like Henry and Paul wrote things that were so brilliant it was like attending a free seminar. I learned about history, religion, politics, and the law.

We had jandras and pron and graxy, but the majority of the posts were well-written; there was no extra praise for keeping it short and snotty (although the best of W&W usually was). I liked it here because it was a smart, well-read, liberal corner of the internet. Some people seemed to like to attack OPs for sport, but I remember that as being rarer and less vitriolic.

I don't really think that describes it anymore. "Bitchy" still does, though.

A poster like Judy "Pills" wouldn't even stand out as being crazy or angry now.

by Anonymousreply 1001/30/2013

R10? See link.

by Anonymousreply 1101/30/2013

Not that r10 is wearing rose-colored glasses or anything.

by Anonymousreply 1201/30/2013

r11's post proves the saliency of r10's post who is 100% correct regarding the decline of this site.

I'm still here because, for breaking current events, it still is place to be.

by Anonymousreply 1301/30/2013

Jodie Foster comes out! Jim Nabors marries a dude! What's to expect from ANYONE these days? You can expect to like this:

by Anonymousreply 1401/30/2013

I want to be entertained and maybe even get a bit of information.

The near-pathological need of some to mock and hurt other posters is extremely boring, among other things.

by Anonymousreply 1501/30/2013

Pointless bitchery is a nice way of saying bullying.

by Anonymousreply 1601/30/2013

[quote]Are you in freont of a computer for 8-12 hours a day and pop on and off because you have ADHD?

This pretty much describes me. I work at a computer all day, and pop in here for amusement when I'm bored and want a quick break. I agree with r10 that DL used to be a much more interesting and edifying place; now it's mostly the mental equivalent of junk food.

But I'm sorry, r17, anyone who claims to be "bullied" on Datalounge is ridiculous. You don't know these people, and no one is forcing you to subject yourself to them. If they bother you, you can banish them from your life with one tiny little tap/click.

by Anonymousreply 1701/30/2013

R18 Agree with you.

by Anonymousreply 1801/30/2013

As bitchy as DL can get sometimes it still, at other times, provides a level of discussion nicer and more intelligent than many other boards.

by Anonymousreply 1901/30/2013

I'm a straight female who lurks. I tried to google safe areas of manhattan city data one day but misspelled and somehow found datalounge. I find this site to be cool though. I enjoy the threads & the dry humor in the commentary is amusing.

by Anonymousreply 2001/30/2013

OP, with Datalounge, as in life, the fewer expectations you have the less disappointed you will be.

I come for the mix of opinion. Also, if you have no sense of humor, including the ability to laugh at yourself, this isn't the place for you.

by Anonymousreply 2101/30/2013

John Weir needs to hold it in a little, he's starting to babble on like Frank McCourt's fiction.

by Anonymousreply 2201/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 2301/30/2013

I come for the cultcha.

by Anonymousreply 2401/30/2013

This board used to be really REALLY cool and witty.

Trolls like PPSM were just swatted away like the gnats they were (usually with a deliciously witty redtag written by the webmaster).

Now trolls like that are a dime a dozen here and have pretty much sapped anything of interest or life out of DL.

Oh well

by Anonymousreply 2501/30/2013

r21, you are NOT welcome!

by Anonymousreply 2601/30/2013

You can't really make friends on here. I enjoy the snark, and there are some damn good conversations here from time to time. I'd love to befriend some of the eldergays on here and dish about Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, and Dusty Springfield in person.

by Anonymousreply 2701/30/2013

I like the threads on US politics and the threads like the recent one on Pennsylvania. I find it fascinating to read perspectives from people who live there. I am Dutch and live in Ireland, but I have close relatives in the US and like to visit. DL can be something of a free education sometimes.

Of the non-political threads, last year's Pauline Kael thread was the most interesting to me.

by Anonymousreply 2801/30/2013

[quote]Do you look for "friends" here? Do you actually think you know other posters?

No, both of those things are insane. I have friends in real life. I don't consider anyone a friend until I have met them at least once in person and gotten to know them fairly well. I'm not even sure how I would meet a DLer in real life, but I certainly wouldn't consider someone a "friend" because I've read something they posted on an anonymous, largely unmoderated gossip website, because, as I said, that would be insane.

[quote]Do you just try and stir shit and vent and be mean to strangers because you can here but you can't in real life?

No, I have no desire to be "mean to strangers". Besides, the behavior you describe is trolling. Weak, damaged people act out like that. If I feel anger in my personal life, I try to deal with it in healthy, proactive ways like conflict resolution, voicing my feelings in a measured, unemotional way, seeking conciliation or compromise, or avoiding the source of my anger, as well as practicing meditation, exercise, positive thoughts and, if need be, psychotherapy. Taking your anger out on other people, especially intentionally, is unhealthy and cruel.

[quote]Is a psychopahtic urge to correct grammar your thing and you know nobody in your life will tolerate such nit-picking?

I feel the need to point out that this sentence is poorly constructed, and the thought behind it is poorly expressed. It would be better broken into two sentences, with a key phrase inserted in the second sentence:

[quote]Is a psychopahtic urge to correct grammar your thing? If so, is it because you know nobody in your life will tolerate such nit-picking?

There, isn't that better? The way you rendered it, I needed to re-read it to catch the exact meaning.

I don't bother correcting spelling, though. That could be construed by some fragile souls as "psychopahtic".

[quote]Are you in freont of a computer for 8-12 hours a day and pop on and off because you have ADHD?

No. I do have a smart phone and a tablet, though, which are two devices you can peruse the Internet with that are portable and don't require sitting "in freont of a computer".

I also show no signs of ADHD.

by Anonymousreply 2901/30/2013

This site used to be way more gossipy. There was an NHL hockey thread that was so hot. Not anymore.

by Anonymousreply 3001/30/2013

I enjoy the discussion of politics and pop culture. I've also gotten some great book and music recommendations here over the years.

by Anonymousreply 3101/30/2013

'Do you look for "friends" here? Do you actually think you know other posters?'

No, i'm not looking for friends in here but i believe that is not that hard to be friendly to others and keep your anonymity. Big deal, is that so hard being a little kind and patient and not a monster to others?


by Anonymousreply 3201/30/2013

I do wish Jodie would watch that John Weir video though, because it might clue her into why everyone has such contempt for her "privacy."

by Anonymousreply 3301/30/2013

You don't look for friends here, really, but just validation of your opinions, habits and tastes.

by Anonymousreply 3401/30/2013

No. I came for gossip and stayed because the humor was scathing.

It's a place where I could somewhat "fit in" and thicken my skin.

What do I expect? Interesting topics of conversation (fewer and fewer now); breaking news that's better than the network coverage; insightful commentary on politics and the arts and the occasional idiot troll that gets run out on a rail.

by Anonymousreply 3501/30/2013

I expect that the exceptional posters keep on posting.

by Anonymousreply 3601/30/2013

r23! Right: a gay guy puts it out there, and of course the gay guy gets trashed on a site filled with gay guys.

by Anonymousreply 3701/30/2013

Because what's your problem, r23?

by Anonymousreply 3801/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 3901/30/2013

R33 you definitely don't fit in with the DL hive mind.

by Anonymousreply 4001/30/2013

Are you something like Diogenes r5?

by Anonymousreply 4101/30/2013

R41 So it's all about fitting in and not being something more than the expected behavior?

by Anonymousreply 4201/30/2013

[quote]being a little kind and patient and not a monster to others?

Is not what DL is about. If you want that, go to a frau board and stop trying to change DL.

by Anonymousreply 4301/30/2013

I love the political threads and the pron threads. Hate anything Broadway related. Love Frau threads.

by Anonymousreply 4401/30/2013

R44 Ok, if you are satisfied with the answer you gave me so be it. Keep your satisfaction and your gay pride, you seem to need it.

by Anonymousreply 4501/30/2013

ff for the homophobic cunt @r46

by Anonymousreply 4601/30/2013

I love viewing the poor suffering queenie souls on this site who hate women, wish they were women. I also enjoy watching some posters of color grappling with their station in life and how they cope with it. So telling. Really though, some of the best gossip by readers here who fall into every category. This place is guaranteed to have someone saying what I think and that is priceless. The best gossip forum around if you can spot and get passed the trolls on an anonymous posting board. No cliques.

by Anonymousreply 4701/30/2013

Oh, for pete's sake, r43, nobody said he was trying to change Datalounge, just explaining his own posting behavior. Besides, DL has always had its share of kind, friendly posters along with the miserable bitches, so no need to worry that one openly pleasant person will change the whole tenor of the place.

by Anonymousreply 4801/30/2013

[quote]also enjoy watching some posters of color grappling with their station in life and how they cope with it.

Why do I get the impression that you enjoy this not because it is edifying to learn how others experience life, but in the way that a future serial killer enjoys watching small animal grapple with his torture?

[quote]The best gossip forum around if you can spot and get passed the trolls

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 4901/30/2013

[quote]Do you just try and stir shit and vent and be mean to strangers because you can here but you can't in real life?

I do, but because it's funny, pointless bitchery when done well.

by Anonymousreply 5001/30/2013

I get very bored of the 'it used to be better' trolls.

It used to be better because you hadn't been here so long. DL can get very repetitive after a few years and the humor can seem stale.

But it's still the best forum on the internet, especially if you're gay.

Everyone's experience of DL is different. I depends on how you post and the topics that interest you.

by Anonymousreply 5101/30/2013

The political threads are deadly dull -- like an echo chamber. An opposing view is usually not tolerated.

The religion bashing gets old.

I am best friends with every r97 so that helps.

by Anonymousreply 5201/30/2013

I work in front of my computer at least 12 if not more hours almost every day. I come here as a distraction.

by Anonymousreply 5301/30/2013

R42 made me giggle.

It's those witty and learned comments that I love here.

The vast majority of humanity doesn't get references to art, ancient history (sumerian farmwives, anyone?) great works of literature or philosophy.

Here, in this den of rabid harpies you can check you wit and sharpen your knives!

by Anonymousreply 5401/30/2013

I've been coming here a long time. I accidentally coined the word "graxy" but I was around a long time before that. Someone took a liking to the word, which was supposed to be "gravy," and then proceeded to integrate it into every thread. Personally, I didn't think the word was funny, except in my original post when I wrote about eating something with gravy.

I mostly agree with r10. This place was always bitchy but used to be much more inviting and cohesive. People got together off-line and formed friendships. It's still a fun place to visit, though.

by Anonymousreply 5501/30/2013

I come here hoping to uncover a buried soap opera thread and read the fascinating gossip, the stories about soap operas past and some bitchy remarks that make me laugh.

I absolutely hate the CENSORSHIP that DL imposes on anyone starting a thread about say, "General Hospital", but has no problem with "Men Presenting Their (fill in the blank."

Censorship of soap posts really came to my attention this past week, which is good because I was about to pay the $18 membership. Now I know it'd be a waste because DL doesn't allow free speech.

by Anonymousreply 5601/30/2013

I love the random threads on pop culture (from Dusty Springfields and movies) to any gossip and the political threads. I work on a computer and just pop in throughout the day to get some "educational conversation".

For those who moan about the state of DL, what better option is there?

by Anonymousreply 5701/31/2013

[quote]Is a psychopahtic urge to correct grammar

I guess you'd need to learn how to spell "psychopathic" correctly before you could learn its meaning, and use it properly in a sentence.

by Anonymousreply 5801/31/2013

I like to write my thoughts and weigh in on things that challenge me to present them persuasively.

I don't have ADHD but often when I feel a bit bored or anxious, or just looking for something to fill the time, I feel the need to check in. I have been easily bored with so many things lately (nothing to be proud of).

But the negativity and pettiness, the idiocy, meanness, ignorance and prejudice on DL annoys me; sometimes I think its even borderline demoralizing.

I'd even go so far as to say that being on DL makes me feel bad about being gay, which I've never felt before in my life. I've always thought of being gay as a very positive thing but the rampant negativity here, the presumptuousness, the inability of so many people to empathize and use their imagination to accept and respect that others don't feel or think the way they do, don't have the same affinities, that are so ready to say "you just know" that someone is (fill in the blank), when they have no way of knowing other than its a projection of their own experience, a failure to be at all open minded, is disturbing.

My New Years resolution to stay off lasted about a week. Maybe its time to stop again.

by Anonymousreply 5901/31/2013

I am A eldergay in the body of a 35 year old straight female.I've been here for years.For me this is proof that people still are truly still funny and smart. LOVE IT.

by Anonymousreply 6001/31/2013

just one still in people still being funny and smart.

by Anonymousreply 6101/31/2013

I met my new girlfriend here. We've been dating for three weeks and have spent a lot of time together, and I introduced her to my family. Now I can't wait to meet her.

I wonder if Helenbedd is a Maori name.

by Anonymousreply 6201/31/2013

I came here to promote my career and to defend myself against those who REPEATEDLY attempt to disrespect my contributions to the community and to COMEDY.

I stay to make sure that any threads mentioning me are deleted. If they are not, I am able to get a reduction in my monthly legal bills.

I also enjoy General Hospital gossip very much.

by Anonymousreply 6302/01/2013

Thread starters have this expectation: the thread will generate insightful, witty and profound posts and will immediately zoom to 600 posts.

Posters have this expectation: everyone who reads it will immediately W&W it and it will show on the page until the end of time.

That is all.

by Anonymousreply 6402/01/2013

I have profound anger issues stemming from problems in my childhood and adolescence. I'm going to solve those problems by screaming at other posters.

by Anonymousreply 6502/01/2013

I used to come here for the chat and fun, but that was before primetime and paying. I had no connection with the LGBT community outside of online (still don't actually).

And yes, the clientele has changed too.

Now I spend 5 minutes a morning here with my coffee, to kill time before I get in the shower.

by Anonymousreply 6602/01/2013

DL is a little bit like the gentrified Village.

Expectations, keep them low, you'll never be disappointed.

by Anonymousreply 6702/01/2013

"Hardcore Aspie. This place was made for me"

Actually, no- you're the polar opposite of a true Datalounger. You don't understand sarcasm, double entendre, innuendo or irony.

by Anonymousreply 6802/02/2013


by Anonymousreply 6902/03/2013
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