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Affleck Children Pulled From School As Director Prepares Assault on Academy Voters

HOLLYWOOD - Following surprise victories at the Producer's and Screen Actors' Guild Awards, star and director Ben Affleck has announced that he and wife Jennifer Garner are pulling their daughters from school for the next three weeks so that they may continue to assist in their father's public relations campaign for "Argo."

"Knowing we have an uphill battle to climb to capture the Best Picture trophy, my wife and I have made the painstaking decision to pull our children from school so that they may accompany us on our daily and highly visible activities," Affleck said in a press conference, holding his one year old son Samuel in his arms. "Say 'Argo' into the microphone, Sam."

Affleck then proceeded to provide a three-week itinerary to the press, and said that a real-time geotracking iPhone app will be available by the end of the week.

"Tomorrow from 3 PM to 5PM we will be at American Girl Place. We are currently working with the store to clear a limited number of photographers with access inside the premises. On Wednesday we will be at Disneyland. Approved parties will have the cost of parking and admission recompensated by Warner Brothers."

Future outings include the La Brea Tar Pits, the Queen Mary, and the Motion Picture & Television Fund rest home.

by Anonymousreply 1301/28/2013

OP, how many more of these threads will you be posting?

Are you also the "AnnE" troll? You sound like an unhinged loon with no other life than to obsess over rich famous people.

Get some air OP. Get outside, take a walk, do something good for humankind. You're killing yourself.

by Anonymousreply 101/28/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 201/28/2013

You actually believe that shit, R2? Then again, DL is infested with gullible morons who'll believe anything as long as you say you're an insider.

by Anonymousreply 301/28/2013

[all posts by right wing shit-stain # a removed.]

by Anonymousreply 401/28/2013

OP made me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 501/28/2013

Wow, what cranky reactions for a lighthearted parody post.

by Anonymousreply 601/28/2013

OP, you cannot 'climb' a 'battle'.

You can 'climb a hill', though.

Apart from that, I liked your post.

by Anonymousreply 701/28/2013

Good God, you're stupid, R2.

Unless you're posting your own parody reply, of course.

by Anonymousreply 801/28/2013

I eat shit.

by Anonymousreply 901/28/2013

R2, think "Onion."

by Anonymousreply 1001/28/2013

The parody post works. Ben would do anything to win. His family has benefited from all the photo opps. He useually looks like he'd rather be anywhere else when photographed with his family but since award season he's smiling it up beyond belief. I still think he deserved an oscar nod for BD.

by Anonymousreply 1101/28/2013

This is hilarious. Love it.

by Anonymousreply 1201/28/2013

Very funny. Good work OP.

by Anonymousreply 1301/28/2013
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