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Classic Datalounge Elaborate Scenarios

I thought we could discuss or even archive some of them here.

Does anyone remember the yarn about someone's family which ended with at least one of the obese relatives being literally rolled down the driveway? I wish I could find that again or remember the title. I laughed until I choked.

Same with the can of frosting thread.

by Anonymousreply 5609/17/2013

Daniel Boon, Possum Slayer

Hootz, the West Virginia stud

Denny and his suitcase

Once Around the Garden/Autumn Harvest

by Anonymousreply 101/27/2013

Breastiocles Jones and the trip to Mich Fest

by Anonymousreply 201/27/2013


Agree with Denny and the rolling suitcase.

by Anonymousreply 301/27/2013

Could someone please repost this as a new thread? It would be great to see fresh responses.

[bold]The weird little girl next door.[/bold]

This 6 year old child gives me the creeps. It's like she can control minds. She says strange but harmless things that later penetrate and dominate the thoughts of people she comes in contact with.

Last week I asked her what her favorite movie was and she said "King Kong". I asked her whch cversion she preferred and she stared at me and then kissed her doll. She looked back up at me and said, "King Kong can stop the rain!" And then she ran into the house.

The next day I was in the car with my brother in law and he insisted on listening to a oldies station. Playing on the radio was "and I wonder, still I wonder, WHO'LL STOP THE RAIN". I looked at my brother in law and said "King Kong"

by Anonymousreply 401/27/2013

*** kisses doll ***

by Anonymousreply 501/27/2013

Once around the Garden owns this!! I laughed so hard I cried multiple times.. I actually have pictures in my head of the two (the salad bar owner owner and his partner) and when I see people that look like them I start laughing out loud.

by Anonymousreply 601/27/2013

I think someone had some of those saved to doc format. Unfortunately, I'm now on a Macbook. Not sure if they'd work for me.

by Anonymousreply 701/27/2013

Possum in the drawer.

Red dragon cheese.

by Anonymousreply 801/27/2013

Gargoyle Neighbor

by Anonymousreply 901/27/2013

For me, it will always be the argument between an uncle and his blatino husbear over whether they should redecorate the trick-room they kept decked out for occasional threesomes in order to repaint and build a new cosy bedroom from Ikea for the uncle's adult Down Syndrome nephew (recently bereaved of his mother [sister of the OP]). The blatino partner did not want to become a parent late in life and felt it was impinging on the couple in question's swinging lifestyle.

It wasn't the nephew troll. It was the "inane impossible argument with my long-suffering life partner" troll, probably creator of the lesbian crab walk as well. The poster used many stylistic devices that remind me of the infamous "Momma" (whose postings I also always enjoy, for some reason). The OP also posts a lot of "cruising at the gym" ESTs. Me likey! Me likey a LOT!!!

I also enjoyed the lesbian potluck dinner wedding, though that may not have been an EST.

by Anonymousreply 1001/27/2013

I really want some hilarious ESTs to read!!! Links, links!

by Anonymousreply 1101/27/2013

"God, I miss brunch" - a contemporary classic about a man who doesn't have anyone to go to brunch with. The OP brilliantly played pedantic posters who criticized his (purposeful) misspellings.

by Anonymousreply 1201/27/2013

I'm in Love with my Father-in-Law.

by Anonymousreply 1301/27/2013

The man who was warring with his possums or squirrels. True comedy.

by Anonymousreply 1401/27/2013

OP, you're thinking of the thread about the guy who sent a video of himself masturbating and cumming to everyone in his address book, including his family. His mother was handicapped, his father threw up when he saw it.

Great thread. A classic EST.

by Anonymousreply 1501/27/2013

What r1 said with the addition of "I'm in Love With My Father-in-Law."

by Anonymousreply 1601/27/2013

Sumerian far wives

Ginny in billing

Famous jonbenets throughout history

by Anonymousreply 1701/27/2013

*farm wives

by Anonymousreply 1801/27/2013

crab walking deamon lezbo lover

by Anonymousreply 1901/27/2013

My gargoyle neighbor

My lesbian partner grated cheese to put over our pasta dinner party with her PedEgg

I'm not running a bed and breakfast here! (The two towels and the turkey meatballs)

The vegan lesbian girlfriend at Thanksgiving

by Anonymousreply 2001/27/2013

I hate Queens NY - I hate NY Queens

by Anonymousreply 2101/27/2013

I knew a girl who collected all the EST threads and put them on a website. But then she died.

by Anonymousreply 2201/27/2013

This one is very debatable as it was authored live, with updates and answers to other posters that almost defy EST territory. Here's the OP:

"I just had sex with Janie Lane"

I know, it's not George Clooney, but he's kind of a celebrity/has been. Maybe because he was pretty wasted, not sure if he does this often, but he seemed to know his way around the hole and the poll. I'd have thought he was a pussy hound. Bi, I guess.

I know all of you are thinking "eww, how gross" but I was horny. I'm sure you all have had worse.

by Anonymousreply 2301/27/2013

Bread in the fridge, freezer or breadbox

Dog ties with toddler

Lisa Beamer's cinnamon rolls shops

by Anonymousreply 2401/27/2013

Oh, I love the Thanksgiving vegan. But I believe her official title is "Janice, the Weepy Thanksgiving Vegan." I seem to remember that instead of the kids table there was a menstrual hut in the backyard for her.

by Anonymousreply 2501/27/2013

The Janie Lane was great then Janie died, really, almost right after it was published. I think it was because he was outted in it.

And the OP of it felt really bad, he said, and I'm LOL'g here, that JL in the morning chased him around the house screaming at him to GET OUT!

by Anonymousreply 2601/27/2013

Not Without My Frosting!

by Anonymousreply 2701/27/2013

I'm sorry Datalounge, but with all due respect, I've got problems of my own.

by Anonymousreply 2801/27/2013

r17 is confused

by Anonymousreply 2901/27/2013

I was just about to mention the cake frosting one.

by Anonymousreply 3001/27/2013

Do you mean cak and graxy?

by Anonymousreply 3101/27/2013

OMG Hootz! I was in love with that guy. Same with Daniel Boon.

by Anonymousreply 3201/27/2013

There's that recurring favorite, "Webmaster deleted my thread!"

by Anonymousreply 3301/27/2013

Thank you R19. A few months ago someone mentioned a crabwalking lesbian and I've been wondering what the hell he was talking about. Now I know.

by Anonymousreply 3401/28/2013

I know and/or understand most of these, but can someone explain the crabwalk thing?

by Anonymousreply 3501/28/2013

Weird little girl

Nasty Pig shop bottom

"I'm not running a bed and breakfast!"

by Anonymousreply 3601/28/2013

[quote]I know and/or understand most of these, but can someone explain the crabwalk thing?

Someone posted a scenario complaining her lesbian partner had been possessed by the devil and was doing the spiderwalk (not the crabwalk) down the stairs, like Linda Blair does in the famous excised scene from "the Exorcist."

I didn't think it was that funny--much too obvious for my tastes. I much prefer elaborate scenarios where the posters fool people into thinking the scenarios are real, such as "Not without my daughter!" (the father whose daughter stole a can of frosting) and "I'm not running a bed and breakfast here" (about the poster outraged because a trick wanted to share one of his towels so he could shower after their night of sex, and also wanted to eat the turkey meatballs in his refrigerator).

by Anonymousreply 3701/28/2013

Classics have gone with the over-abundance of EST accusations.

by Anonymousreply 3801/29/2013

[quote]I think someone had some of those saved to doc format. Unfortunately, I'm now on a Macbook. Not sure if they'd work for me. by: OP, fairly tech illiteratet

OP, TextEdit on your Mac will open doc files.

Sumerian farmwives and other "Let's pretend" threads aren't Elaborate Scenarios. ESTs try to make you think they're real situations.

by Anonymousreply 3901/29/2013

Anyone remember the hysterical EST about the guy who was determined to seduce his bf's hot cousin at the bf's family reunion? The OP even posted pics of the supposed cousin which stupidly contained the cousin's email address, and posters were threatening to contact the cousin to let him know what the OP was planning. I never laughed so hard in my life.

by Anonymousreply 4001/29/2013

Cheryl's stinky pussy.

by Anonymousreply 4109/17/2013

The possum in the drawer was pretty funny.

by Anonymousreply 4209/17/2013

The "I'm in love with my father-in-law" thread is a classic. I loved the one a few years ago about an old, fat lesbian with a baby dyke girlfriend who sprayed their kitchen with a 2 liter bottle of Coke during a fight.

That troll from years ago, Twinkster, used to anonymously post great ESTs. I remember one about slapping his mother across the face because she fucked up the peach cobbler.

by Anonymousreply 4309/17/2013

The "My neighbor is a gargoyle" thread was great because there was an eerie film clip linked of the neighbor on the ledge, puffing smoke in silhouette.

I forgot about the Ped Egg and the grated cheese! LOL

by Anonymousreply 4409/17/2013

I'm never sure which ones are EST's (OP playing us all) and which ones are hapless ERL (elaborate real-life) situations. I remain convinced that the "I'm not running a bed & breakfast here!" homobitch was for real. Like, he really was irked about his trick and he really did only have one towel and a fridge that contained nothing but tonic water and reduced-fat turkey meatballs.

You've all mentioned many of my favorites: red dragon cheese, Ben masturbating and sending video clip to his entire cell contacts, crabwalk demon lesbian, "not without my frosting", "once around the garden" and claire and the bread pudding. Trying to think of more...

by Anonymousreply 4509/17/2013

The guy whose female co-worker was having an imaginary internet romance with Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys

by Anonymousreply 4609/17/2013

The Janie Lane thread was one for the ages!

by Anonymousreply 4709/17/2013

Ben masturbating was classic.

I think the possum in the drawer was actually real.

Denny was fun for awhile, but it grew tiresome quickly.

I don't remember the autumn harvest EST. Anyone care to give my the Cliff Notes?

by Anonymousreply 4809/17/2013

R48: put-upon gay man posts as OP. His problem: he and his partner own a restaurant with a well known salad bar. Partner wants him (OP) to go around reprimanding customers who have paid for a "Once Around The Garden" but try to get away with multiple visits to the salad bar. Partner wants OP to go up to said cheaters and say "Tut tut! Once around the garden!" OP is uncomfortable with this request. Score; 500 replies from DL!

by Anonymousreply 4909/17/2013

Did anyone save any of these? And would you please post a link?

by Anonymousreply 5009/17/2013

I've never read the thread but I'm laughing so hard at r49's description of "Once Around the Garden"

by Anonymousreply 5109/17/2013

I don't remember the name but I loved the one where the guy became convinced his landlord wanted to kill him. He would post as things were happening "I am going to go outside now and try his backdoor " and we would wait while he did it and come to report. There was also something about a secret room in the basement. It was very suspenseful and nicely done.

by Anonymousreply 5209/17/2013

The elaborate Tex-Mex dinner party that the self-styled Galloping Gourmet fixed for his boyfriend's New England family and their neighbors. Nobody would eat his food. It was such a disaster that they phoned for pizza delivery. The couple stopped speaking for the trip back to NYC and GG moved out. Two weeks later, he moved back and planned another elaborate meal. Then they broke up again.

by Anonymousreply 5309/17/2013

I loved the one with the guy who poisoned his neighbor's dog to death with benzo-infused meatballs, and made himself out to be the victim in all of it.

by Anonymousreply 5409/17/2013

Has anyone seen Ginny?

by Anonymousreply 5509/17/2013

Thanks Torta! No idea how I missed that. I've been a DL addict since 2003 or 2004. Hysterical.

by Anonymousreply 5609/17/2013
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