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Pretend we are in love

Say what you'd like to say to me.

by Anonymousreply 5102/05/2013

Oh, Nev! Your anus is so hirsute and fragrant...

by Anonymousreply 101/27/2013

Shut up, bitch, and suck my cock.

by Anonymousreply 201/27/2013

Here? In front of everybody?

by Anonymousreply 301/27/2013

When I am around you I feel I am a better, happier person. I will put your well-being at the level of my own -- hell, higher than my own. The world is a nicer, more rewarding place because you are in it. I love you. What a wonderful surprise that you came into my life.

by Anonymousreply 401/27/2013

What time are you going to be home? Did you pick up the drycleaning? My mother's coming to visit the entire weekend and then the next weekend we have to go away to my distant cousin's wedding where we'll cause much distraction as the gay couple.

Why don't you clean? I'm sick and tired of cleaning up your shit. No, it's not - I CLEAN UP my shit - that's all YOURS. Is TOO!

by Anonymousreply 501/27/2013

How sentimental.

by Anonymousreply 601/27/2013

Clean the skid marks out of the bathtub.

by Anonymousreply 701/27/2013

I know we agreed that we don't want kids, but I really want a baby.

by Anonymousreply 801/27/2013

Yes R3

by Anonymousreply 901/27/2013

Assuming you're not that guy, I'd have to come up with a new one.

Spank me, Daddy, spank me hard!

by Anonymousreply 1101/27/2013

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. Or that, or that.

Can't we just cuddle - with my bold unbold hairy nut sack in your mouth?

by Anonymousreply 1201/27/2013

My shirt needs ironing.

by Anonymousreply 1301/27/2013

Alea jacta est

by Anonymousreply 1401/27/2013

You're still the last person I want to kiss and the last face I want to see before I die

by Anonymousreply 1501/27/2013

What's your PIN # again?

by Anonymousreply 1601/27/2013

I've been pretending since the day we met.

by Anonymousreply 1701/27/2013

I love the way you take my fat dick in your tight hairy hole and let me empty my nuts inside you. I just love you so much.

by Anonymousreply 1801/27/2013

I don't know what I'd even say if I were in love. I guess just I love you.

by Anonymousreply 1901/27/2013

I love it when you cheat on the line calls. 40-15.

by Anonymousreply 2001/27/2013

Your wife, she's gonna kill us. We need to buy a gun.

by Anonymousreply 2101/27/2013

I don't care. Fart anytime you like. The smell is intoxicating.

by Anonymousreply 2201/27/2013

I'll bring you food and drink but as long as you are living in my house, you are not to wear any clothes of any kind.

by Anonymousreply 2301/27/2013

I want you to quit work and follow your dreams.

by Anonymousreply 2401/27/2013

Bitch. Go in the kitchen and bake moi a pie.

by Anonymousreply 2501/27/2013

I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops, at the top of my lungs: I LOVE THIS MAN! I EAT THE DINGLEBERRIES OUT OF HIS ASS!

by Anonymousreply 2601/27/2013

Honey buns, if you ever want a little piece of ass and he won't put out, let me know and I'll cut him for you.

by Anonymousreply 2701/27/2013

Ummmm..... So, you should get checked.

Wait, I think I sent the wrong text.... that should've gone to that guy from the gym. My bad.

Should I pick up some milk on my way home?

Love you!

by Anonymousreply 2801/27/2013

You make me a better, happier person. I hope I do that for you. I want to hold you all night and kiss your face, neck and body. That's what makes me happy.

by Anonymousreply 2901/27/2013

You're a LOSER! A small and pathetic FAILURE! I hate your fucking GUTS!

by Anonymousreply 3001/27/2013

I'm sick of giving it all away. You first, OP.

by Anonymousreply 3101/27/2013

Those earrings are DI-Vine! and your caftan has NEVER looked better, hot stuff!

by Anonymousreply 3201/27/2013

Fix me somtin t'eat!

by Anonymousreply 3301/27/2013

You're lovely.

by Anonymousreply 3401/27/2013

A rimjob for Valentine's Day truly shows me that you love me,darling.

by Anonymousreply 3501/28/2013

I do not take one single second of our time together for granted. Every day I fall in love with you all over again.

by Anonymousreply 3601/28/2013

r36 = Nicholas Sparks character.

by Anonymousreply 3701/28/2013

Listen, I think we should each do our own laundry from now on. Yes, I know you didn't mean to ruin my new shirt, but you did. And I don't like the way you fold. No, I'm not mad at you. I just want to take care of my own stuff.

by Anonymousreply 3801/28/2013

I worship the dirt you treat me like.

by Anonymousreply 3901/28/2013

I love you so much that I can't imagine life with out you. I don't want you to ever have to worry about money so we're going to the bank to put your name on all of my bank accounts,saving accounts investment accounts and I'm going to transfer your name onto the house title. I don't want you to ever have to ask me for money, or worry about money again so since we'll be going to the bank I'll set up your own little account that I'll put 2K into every week.

by Anonymousreply 4001/28/2013

Funniest thread on DL, could also be titled, "things DL will never hear from their S.O.'s"

by Anonymousreply 4101/28/2013

R30 how can I avoid ever running across you in future?

by Anonymousreply 4201/28/2013

I don't want things between us to ever become some kind of competition.

by Anonymousreply 4301/28/2013

I'm only shivering because it's cold being naked in these woods. You don't need to press the blade against my throat. I promise I won't scream for help. Because I just feel a synergy between us. Synergy. No, it's a good word! s.y.n.e. Never mind. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your hairlip is? Truly. I want to be yours forever.

by Anonymousreply 4401/30/2013

I hope that was an empty bottle George. You can't afford to waste hard liquor. Not on YOUR SALARY. NOT AN ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR'S SALARY!!!

by Anonymousreply 4501/30/2013

Lol, r45, just went to it last Wednesday, still a great play!

by Anonymousreply 4601/30/2013

I should have listened to my mother. But NOOOOOOO! I had to feel sorry for you. You've sucked the life out of me like a fat person sucks the jelly from a donut.

by Anonymousreply 4701/30/2013


by Anonymousreply 4801/30/2013

[quote]I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

by Anonymousreply 4901/30/2013

You don't need to answer that. I asked the question. What did I expect as the answer? And you don't need to give me a lift.

I CAN find my OWN way home.

by Anonymousreply 5002/02/2013

I thought I could love you for your feet, at least, but then I saw the plantar's wart.

by Anonymousreply 5102/05/2013
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